Bis Später!

my life has become hectic lately.  we are driving over to take care of our granddaughter every week, looking for a new home to be near our son and his family, and packing our current home in anticipation of our move.  i've decided that i should suspend writing this blog until our lives slow down.  i look forward to the time when we are settled in a new home and life is moving at a slower pace so that i can resume journaling about the path i am taking.  until then, may you be filled with lovingkindness and compassion, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, and may you be happy.  shalom.

 

I'll Send the Sun Smiling Through

as i watch Kamala Harris's campaign, i am impressed with the sense of joy she brings to her run for the presidency.  i see that same joy in the vice-presidential nominee, Tim Walz.  this joy is in sharp contrast to the candidacy of donald trump and j. d. vance, both of whom seem to be filled with negativity and anger.  at their respective rallies, i see the candidates' attitudes reflected in the faces of their supporters:  those who listen to harris and walz appear happy, while trump's and vance's followers seem to be filled with rage.

an attitude of happiness is important if our lives are to be fulfilling and positive.  anger is harmful to those who fill their lives with it and to those around them.  happiness begets happiness, just as anger infects those who spend their time with others who are angry.  happiness is our natural state, and when we allow bitterness and a sense of victimhood to creep into our lives, we become less human.  we suffer mentally and physically and inflict our pain on others.

i did not always believe that happiness was a worthy goal.  i thought that our chief aim ought to be to fulfill a sense of duty and obligation, even when doing so made us unhappy.  i now realize that one can be happy while still shouldering our responsibilities.  when we feel duty-bound to do something that makes us unhappy, that task is not something we ought to undertake.  it is good to say no at times.  we must live the sort of happiness that brings us joy and spreads joy to those around us, not a selfish pleasure-seeking life that flits from one temporary moment of elation to another.

may we make happiness our intention.  may we let go of anger and recrimination.  may we not seek out temporary pleasures and instead discover what makes us happy for the whole of our lives.  may we share our happiness with others.  shalom.

Memory Lingers On

each week when we go over to care for our granddaughter, we marvel at the changes we see in her.  this week, she had become able to sit up for longer periods of time and was struggling to figure out how to move from a lying position to a sitting position.  she was tracking movements around her with more precision and interest.  she had learned to hold her bottle on her own and knew that if she raised the bottle to a higher position she could get the last of the milk from it.

seeing her development has made us yearn to spend more time with her, so we have decided to move closer to the home of our son and his partner.   we are exploring the different towns nearby and looking at the available housing.  we've been told that our home here will sell quickly, so we know that we will need to be prepared to move as soon as we put it on the market.  knowing that we may be able to spend more time with our granddaughter and her parents and to be of greater help to them fills us with excitement, though we dread packing up and moving.

as we age, we will need more assistance from our children, so it seems prudent to be closer to them.  when we need them, it's unfair of us to expect them to make a two-hour drive each direction to get to us.  knowing that we may soon be near our family is exciting, especially so since our daughter and her husband plan to move to the same area in a few years when they retire.  the thought that we may be able to live out the remaining years of our lives with our children nearby fills us with a joy that outweighs the arduous task of moving.

to end our years on this earth near our children and grandchild makes the coming of death more palatable.  may we each hold those we love dear to our hearts, even when we are separated by many miles.  may we do what we can to help one another.  may we see each person we encounter as one of our kin in the knowledge that we are all brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and children of one another.  shalom.

When Morning Lifts the Veil

when i think about suffering, i am reminded of the part of my morning meditation when i say, "may i understand my suffering, may i recognize the clinging and craving which cause it, may i have confidence in and take refuge in the teachings of jesus and the buddha, may i learn to walk on the path that leads to the end of suffering."  in the past couple of years, i have experienced the suffering that comes from aging.  i feel pains i never felt before, and i am reminded that my body which has served me so well is wearing out.

i've gone through two rounds of physical therapy to help ease discomfort in my back and hips.  fortunately, the exercises i learned in therapy help if i do them regularly.  now i must make time to do them daily in order to live my life without debilitating pain.  i suppose part of my suffering in this sense comes from longing to function as i did at a younger age, but the physical suffering i experience is the result of something quite different from "clinging and craving."  

most people my age are suffering in the same way as i am.  we try to stave off the effects of aging, but our efforts are not entirely successful, though they may offer some relief from pain.  recently i read that it is a good thing to remind ourselves daily that we are dying.  as long as we have breath, we are in the process of coming to the ends of our lives.  as i told my daughter yesterday, i am getting old and i want to continue to get older.  the only remedy for stopping our dying and aging process is death.

may we be grateful for bodies that have seen us through the days of our lives.  may we recognize that each breath brings us closer to the cessation of breathing and give thanks for those breaths.  may we live our lives so that we can say that we have lived fully, compassionately, and well.  shalom.

The End of Trouble I See

i am deeply disturbed by the controversy over president biden's age and the drumbeat of "important" people calling on him to step down as the democratic party's nominee for the next election.  here is a man who has spent most of his life in public service, who has demonstrated competency in his work, and who brings years of wisdom to his job, yet his age disqualifies him from continuing as president, according to many elected officials and hollywood stars.  now, bowing to the incessant talk about his infirmities, he has stepped out of the presidential race.  many of us are saddened by his decision but understand why he has made it and wish him and whoever succeeds him as the democratic nominee every success in defeating donald trump.

the arrogance of those who decry his ability is representative of the ageism that many people harbor.  as one who is only a few years younger than president biden, i experience the assumptions about me as i go about my daily life.  i appreciate their kindness as they open doors for me or offer to assist me with heavy loads.  i know that when people offer to help me, they do so out of a genuine desire to be considerate because of my obvious age.  still, i can't help feeling resentful when they assume i am incapable of doing things for myself simply because i'm "old."

perhaps i don't have the stamina or strength i once had.  maybe i have trouble finding the word i want to use from time to time.  my hearing isn't all it used to be.  still, my mind is nimble.  i work at learning new things.  i read voraciously.  i can do all the tasks of daily life.  i take care of my yard, and working together my wife and i keep our home clean and cook our own meals.  there is little i'm unable to do now if i want to.  it may just take a little longer.

may we respect those whose years have filled them with wisdom and knowledge.  may we not assume that advanced age is a handicap.  may we honor those who have given their lives to make things better for others.  may we accept our limitations but not allow them to define us.  shalom.

I Want to Be Happy

when i went to bed last night, i reflected on the day i had completed and the happiness it brought me.  there was nothing extraordinary about yesterday.  we had a late breakfast, shopped for groceries, saw a new movie at the local theater, and spent the rest of the day watching old clint eastwood spaghetti westerns.  for supper, we had some delicious hamburgers made from beef patties i had grilled earlier in the week.  it was just one of those unhurried, relaxing days that seem to come too seldom.

i thought about how simple pleasures and chores can bring us happiness.  spending the day with my wife was so pleasurable, as the day made few demands on us.  i suppose happiness is something we choose, not something that happens to us.  our son's partner is a happy person who always has a smile on her face.  her attitude towards life is positive and contagious.  we see how her happiness has infected our son and their new daughter, who, like her mother, has a quick smile even at under four months of age.  we know that her smiles are reflections of her parents.

i have made it my intention to give thanks at the end of each day for the day just completed, remembering the joy it has brought me.  may we each see the little events that contribute to our happiness and be grateful for them.  may we see that adversity can be a source of joy as we learn and grow from the opportunities life brings us.  may we begin each day saying, "today i am fortunate to have awakened.  i have a precious human life."  shalom.

I'd Ring Out Love

we had a conversation with some friends last night about a nephew of theirs.  they were perplexed by the changes they have observed in him.  on the one hand, their nephew is a kind person.  he is active in his church, spending much of his time in helping prepare and serve meals to the homeless and participating in fundraisers to benefit the church's outreach missions.  on the other hand, he is an ardent follower of the "maga" movement, attending rallies that support donald trump and his endorsed political candidates.  he vows that he is ready to take up arms in support of his political beliefs if that becomes necessary.

our friends are deeply disturbed by the political radicalization of their nephew and wonder how two seemingly disparate personalities seem to dwell in him.  they say that before donald trump came on the scene, he was a moderate conservative with little interest in politics.  we see the same behavior in some of our relatives and acquaintances and are at a loss to explain it.  it's easy to say that this dichotomy is the fault of trump, but, while the "maga" philosophy may be the catalyst, there is something else that was there long before donald trump became a political force.

it may be that many people see themselves as superior to members of other races and religions, that they see those who are less fortunate as deserving help and sympathy but somehow inferior to them.  perhaps they fear the decline of power among whites, especially white men, as threatening and are determined to hold on to their traditional roles as those who are in control of the mechanisms of government.  maybe the hatred that trump voices publicly has given them permission to express their own prejudices and hatreds more forcefully.

whatever the cause, the rise of anti-democratic sentiment in our country is disturbing.  may those who are a part of trump's movement see the danger their support of such views poses.  may those who believe in the innate goodness of others continue in that belief and continue to be filled with lovingkindness.  may the force of good ultimately triumph over prejudice and hatred.  shalom.