I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

 there are only two candles remaining on the advent wreath whose symbols i have not written about this christmas season.  these candles are those representing joy and the christ child.  in our home, we celebrated christmas with our children just a few days ago, so my wife and i are filled with joy that our children could be with us, that we had happy times eating delicious food together and exchanging gifts, that they are healthy, that their jobs are secure despite the economic upheaval caused by the pandemic, and that they were able to travel safely in their own vehicles rather than having to use commercial transportation to get to our home.

there is a special joy that only comes at christmas.  many days of preparation lead up to that special day.  my wife and i spent hours cleaning and decorating our home and in the planning of, shopping for, and preparing the meals, snacks, and desserts that we only enjoy at christmas.  we loved shopping for the gifts that our children told us they needed or wanted and were filled with joy as they opened their packages and we opened ours.  most of all we were and are joyful that we were able to spend several days with all of us together catching up in person on what's going on in all our lives rather than talking on the phone, emailing, or texting.  we listened to the beautiful music of christmas and sang along with our favorite songs.  we watched our favorite christmas movies.  it was a grand time together, and by the time they left to return to their homes the day after christmas we were exhausted but happy.  what a pleasure it is to be with those we love during the season of hope, peace, love, and joy!

the baby in a manger symbolizes all that is good about being a human being.  the idea that a loving God is present in that humble place in a tiny child born to impoverished peasants as the angels proclaim peace on earth and goodwill to all people makes this time especially magical.  one doesn't have to believe the teachings of orthodox christianity to be caught up in that magic.  we just have to let go of our focus on self and surrender to the spirit of christmas that dickens conveys so well in "a christmas carol."  life is about sharing joy with others and giving of our abundance so that the suffering of others is eased, of letting go of our own neediness so we see the needs of those around us, of "keeping christmas" in our hearts.

may we leave the worries of the world behind for a brief time as we observe this special holiday.  may christmas renew the possibility of peace and love within us.  may this season restore our faith in the goodness inherent in ourselves and those around us.  may our hearts be full of hope, peace, love, and joy.  shalom.

Love Be Yours, and Love Be Mine

 this week i write about love which the third candle of advent symbolizes.  there are many kinds of love--romantic love, love between friends, love that is directed towards possessions or position, love of one's children, parents, or other relations, divine love--the list could go on.  as i've thought about love, jesus' teachings and example regarding love have been my focus.  jesus taught his followers a way to conceive God that was quite different from the traditional concept.  it is natural for humans to think of God as the angry, vengeful deity that is common to many religions.  the history of religion has largely been one of trying to appease a vindictive god or gods ever on the watch for some misstep by individuals or groups.  sacrifices were offered to keep the anger of the gods at bay or to persuade a god who has caused injury as punishment for some offense to change his or her mind.

the God of jesus is very different.  that God is a loving parent who cares for the human race as loving parents would care for their children.  this God provides for God's children, is quick to forgive human frailty and expects us to do the same.  no longer is this the God of "vengance is mine, says the Lord," but rather the God of "as a parent has compassion on his children, so God has compassion on his faithful followers."  this God of mercy and love is one worthy of worship, while the god common to most religions was one to be feared.  jesus and the God about whom he taught are examples to be followed in our relationships with one another.  just as God cares for us, so are we to care for each other.  just as God is quick to forgive our shortcomings, so are we to be quick to forgive others.

the historic battle of good versus evil revolves around the ability to love without condition.  we embrace good or evil, the force or the dark side, a God of love or a god of punishment.  it is our responsibility to choose which path to follow.  despite our desire to follow the path of love, we stumble from time to time, but love means being as quick to forgive ourselves as we are to forgive others.  we cannot love without the ability to forgive.  how many relationships are destroyed because our love is not great enough to include forgiveness.  this is one of the great teachings to jesus.  when asked how many times we are obliged to forgive one who has harmed us, jesus said that we must forgive an infinite number of times.  to love is to forgive.

may we learn to love with our whole hearts.  may we learn to forgive without limit.  may we worship a God of love and mercy rather than one of a tally sheet marking down our wrongs for punishment.  may this magical season awaken our commitment to love unconditionally.  may we love both ourselves and others.  shalom.

Whatever My Lot

 the candle for the second sunday in advent represents peace.  there are many different kinds of peace.  the sort of peace that immediately comes to mind is the peace that is the absence of war, a rare occurrence in a world where there is hardly a day that goes by without some sort of armed conflict between two or more groups of people.  there is the peace that is part of the expression, "peace and quiet," when there are no loud noises or boisterousness of any kind.  "breach of the peace" is a legal term that, in this country, means to disturb the right of citizens to live peaceful lives but has much broader meanings in some other countries where it can mean certain types of offenses against the state.

the peace i want to write about is inner peace, the sort of peace which results in equanimity and the ability to take life as it comes without strong reactions that trouble us and cause others to be troubled.  in this time of covid and political conflict, achieving peace within ourselves is difficult but essential.  worries, illness, and uncertainty threaten us and those we love.  the physical isolation from our friends and family members who live outside our homes threatens our mental health.  being unable to visit those we love who are hospitalized or in nursing homes and assisted living facilities gives us pain.  wearing masks whenever we are out in public increases our separation from others.  we can't hug or shake hands when we see our friends in shops.  if we are exposed to the virus, our isolation is increased further.  all these things can rob us of our sense of well-being and whatever inner peace we had during more normal times.  

our need to take time to explore our inner life becomes all the more important.  those of us who spend time in daily meditation fare better than many, i suspect.  this time away from the constant chatter of our minds helps to recharge and better equip ourselves to deal with the vagaries of life in the age of covid and the waning days of the trump presidency.  even with that, the hardships of this new way of having to live takes its toll, and we long for a return to our old way of living when we could travel freely, unencumbered by masks, and enter restaurants, places of worship, and stores without fear of exposure, when we could embrace those we love and shake hands with our friends, when we could spend more time away from home doing activities that we love.  those days will return before too much longer once many of us have been vaccinated against the virus, and a more normal presidency is in place.  until then, we must remind ourselves that we must find peace within ourselves if we are to deal effectively with what life throws at us and finding such peace takes some effort on our part.

may we each find inner peace in whatever ways work for us.  may we recognize the natural tendency to worry and to curse the circumstances that cause our worries and forgive ourselves for having such thoughts.  may we realize that others sometimes behave in ways that offend us when they are dealing with the strains of our present state.  may we return as often as we can to our breath and the quieting of our minds.  shalom.

God's Gift From Highest Heaven

 the season of advent has begun.  in many churches five special candles are lit over the course of the season.  four of them form a circle around one central candle, the christ candle, which is lit on christmas eve.  the other four are lit on the four sundays of advent, one each sunday, usually with a special ceremony that is built upon the word the candle represents.  the first candle is commonly called the candle of hope.

i want to write about some of my hopes for the coming year.  in the church calendar, the new year began with the first sunday of advent, so it is appropriate that hope is the theme for that sunday.  there are many things to hope for, most of all an end to the scourge of covid-19, which has consumed most of the current calendar year.  in the usa, we have fought about how best to deal with the pandemic.  many have denied its existence, claiming it is a hoax that would disappear after the election.  that hasn't happened.  their denialism has made what was a bad situation one that is much worse than it ought to have been.  we have had a president who encouraged skepticism about the dangers of the virus and discouraged serious efforts to stop its spread.  now we have the hope of several vaccines that claim to be quite effective.  as inoculations begin later this month, we hope to see a gradual end to the death and sickness that this virus continues to cause.

we have elected a new president and vice-president.  many of us hope that this administration will be more effective and competent than the current one and that we will have leadership that is compassionate and has empathy for the plight of ordinary people who struggle from paycheck to paycheck or who are unable to find work.  we hope for an end to the bickering and obstructionism in the national government and for those who disagree to find common ground that benefits the people of the country and the world.  we hope for an end to both the denial of fact and the promotion of wild conspiracy theories from the highest levels of government.

we hope that new leadership in washington means a more compassionate immigration policy that recognizes the desperation of many of those who seek refuge in this country.  we hope that we return to the ideals that enabled this nation of immigrants to flourish, a nation that from its beginnings was one that allowed a people of many languages and cultures to be united by love of freedom and democracy.  our founders refused to adopt an official language, recognizing the value of diversity.  nor did they adopt a state religion but insisted that government and state be kept separate and independent of one another.  here is another ideal that we hope will return to official acceptance and recognition.

we hope that we once again embrace our allies and work together to make the world a better place rather than coddling and befriending dictators.  we hope that we work with the nations of the world both through diplomatic contacts with various governments and through the united nations and the organizations, like the world health organization, that are a part of it.  we hope that we are no longer a nation of "america first," but rather a nation of the people of the world first.

may we hope that the tiny babe born in a stable in a small village in palestine will bring us together and fill us with lovingkindness and compassion.  may hope be restored, replacing selfishness and greed.  may hope come into the world so that "me" is replaced by "us."  may we hope that peace on earth and goodwill towards all is more than a slogan we hear during this season but rather a way of thinking, feeling, and living.  shalom.

Through All the Circling Years

 as we age, we have more aches and pains.  we tire more easily.  we often have digestive problems.  our sleep patterns are sometimes disrupted.  our bodies are wearing out, and we have difficulty accepting that.  what is amazing is that, for most of us, these bodies have served us well for so many years.  now that i'm in my mid-seventies, i am astonished that my body still functions so well.  i have many of the complaints of old age but my health is still pretty good.  i can do most of the things i did in my youth.  some of them take longer.  i have to stop and rest more often.  occasionally i have to take a pill to ease the aches and pains.  despite those pains, i still can accomplish a great deal.  i have to remind myself that i am as old as i am.

there are times when those aches make me think of my dad.  he was in his late twenties when i was born, so that by the time i was in my mid-forties, he was in his seventies.  i thought then that he would be around of a lot longer and that he was still the active man i remembered from my childhood.  now i realize that he was feeling those signs of aging that i now feel.  i could have done a lot to help him with his chores around the house and yard, but it never occurred to me that he might need or appreciate my help.  after all, he was my dad and had always had the stamina and strength to manage on his own.  i wish i had known then how keeping up with everything must have seemed overwhelming to him and that he could have used my help.

i'm in the same position now, and my son doesn't realize that i could use some help around the house and yard.  our age relationship is about the same as my dad's and mine were.  sometimes my wife complains that our son ought to recognize that we could use his help, and i remind her that we never thought that my dad needed help when he was our age.  we think of our parents as their younger selves, even though they've aged by decades since we were children.  we tell ourselves that they'll be around for a lot longer.  we can't imagine a time when they won't be here, but death comes to all.  one day our children will look back and think that they should have been there for us more often, that they should have helped us more.

the old adage, what goes around comes around, is true.  i understand my father so much better now than i am his age, and i understand his relationship with me as i see it play out in many ways with my own son.  another old truism comes to mind: i wish i knew then what i know now.  hindsight may give us a better perspective, but we can't alter the past.  it does, though, help me to be more understanding and forgiving towards my own son.  he doesn't envision a time when his mom and dad won't be around,  nor can he imagine that we're that much different from they way we were when he was growing up.  one day he'll look back and know what life felt like to his aging parents and wish, as i do now, that he had done more for us.  i hope that he'll know that we understand and hold no animosity towards him because of his lack of perception.

may each of us do what we can to ameliorate the effects of aging, but may we accept them with grace.  may we be forgiving or ourselves and others.  may we understand the cycle of life and our part in it.  as our body ages, may our minds remain young and agile, always ready to learn, to grow, and to explore.  shalom.

How Far Is It to Bethlehem

 we have spent the past week decorating our home for christmas.  perhaps it is a bit early for getting out all the christmas decor, but we began the custom of decorating before thanksgiving many years ago.  my work as a musician meant that december was the busiest month of the year, with multiple performances and church services every week.  having all the christmas trappings in place before the first of december made the month less hectic.  now that we no longer have so much busy-ness in december, we still continue our custom of decorating early so that we can enjoy the advent and christmas season more.

both my wife and i are christmas nuts of a sort.  we love beautiful christmas decorations, and we have many santa statues throughout our home once the decorating is complete.  we have a huge collection of ornaments and bought a second tree last year so we can use more of them.  every time we make a trip, we buy a new ornament that reminds us of our adventure.  we also have several ceramic trees and nativity scenes scattered throughout our home.  my wife has a collection of little jeweled christmas boxes and snow globes that she loves to display.  she is an expert gift wrapper, and her goal each year is to have all the christmas gifts wrapped before thanksgiving.  she usually realizes that goal, and this year is no exception.

we tell ourselves each year as we begin to empty the christmas closet and move everything into the house that we won't buy any more christmas decorations.  then we see something that we think we can't live without and add it to the mix.  this year, it was three metal christmas trees for outside.  i spent yesterday spray painting them because we wanted them to be white rather than the bare metal that they were when we bought them.  because of the weather, i had to paint in the garage, which meant that much of the garage floor was covered with a fine powder of white particles that was left after the painting was complete.  i spent about two hours on my hands and knees with a pail of water beside me and a cloth in my hand mopping up the residue from the spray paint, but i guess the labor will be worth it once the lights are on the new trees and they join our other outdoor decorations in the front of our home.

all that is left is decorating the indoor trees, positioning garland on the fireplace mantle, and adding some lights to a couple of outdoor wreaths.  i think our christmas decorating mission will be complete before thanksgiving, as we intended.  needless to say, my wife and i are exhausted but we're ready to enjoy the coming season.  we all need some cheering up at the end of a year that hasn't been so great.  the pandemic is raging, and the current president continues to live in a dream world where he believes he has won re-election despite all the evidence to the contrary.  seeing the many lights, angels, santas, manger scenes, and all the other images of christmas is just what we need to remind us that there is always hope in the darkest of times.  whether we believe that the origin of christmas in a manger in bethlehem is true or not, it is a time of wonder that takes us away from our day-to-day lives to a magical place and series of events.

may we allow some of that wonder and magic in our lives.  may the light of christmas brighten our lives during what is literally the darkest time of the year.  may the ideal of peace on earth and goodwill to humankind become alive in our hearts.  shalom.

Yet the Truth Alone Is Strong

 it is amazing that the most rabid supporters of donald trump believe the conspiracy theories coming from the white house as trump refuses to concede or to work with joe biden to transition to the new administration.  these diehards actually think that mr. biden has stolen the election through a widespread plot to manipulate the votes cast in many states despite proof from both democratic and republican election officials that nothing of the sort has happened.  how can so many be taken in by the claims of trump and his inner circle of advisers?

in his last days in office, trump is doing all he can to make it difficult for the president-elect to prepare to take over the administrative branch.  trump has now placed yes-men in the highest positions of the military where they may do great harm to our security.  he has refused to provide mr. biden with information from our intelligence services, a customary practice during the interim period between the election and the inauguration of a new president.  during the time before mr. biden takes over the reins of government while trump is a lame-duck president, those who wish to do our country harm will try to exploit the lack of coordination between the old and new administrations, and our government will be unprepared to face those challenges.

the spread of covid continues unchecked with no national plan to deal with it, as trump ignores it and refuses to share information with mr. biden and his advisers about the plans for vaccine distribution.  trump's actions are proof that he cares little about the welfare of the country and a great deal about himself.  still his hardcore followers rally on his behalf, ranting on about "stolen elections" and "socialist plots."  they live in an alternative reality as trump milks them for contributions to his "defense fund," little of which will actually go to defending his baseless claims in court.

unsurprisingly, trump is exploiting this period at the end of his presidency to his own profit.  doubtless, he will continue his rallies, but will use them to make money off his gullible followers.  he will hire a ghost writer to tell his tale of lies and will devise other ways of monetizing his four years in office.  what is puzzling is how so many americans are so full of hate and suspicion and can buy into the manipulations of such a demagogue.  that this hatred is directed at fellow americans is deeply troubling.  mr. biden will have a difficult time winning over a significant number of those who voted for trump, but we must hope that he is able to demonstrate that, despite the venom they are now directing at him, he is a president for all americans, not just those who voted for him.

may we come together as a nation.  may joe biden's term in office be a time of healing and reconciliation.  may republicans who have been elected to national office work with him for the good of the nation and may both democratic and republican public office holders reach compromises that allow the people who elected them to benefit from their time in office.  may the era of hate, far-fetched conspiracy theories, and attempts to suppress the free press end with mr. biden's inauguration.  shalom.

Lift Up A Living Nation

 what we've hoped for has happened.  donald trump has been defeated in the presidential election, and joe biden will become our next president.  in the two speeches he made last week, he spoke of his vision of a country where we could work together even when we disagreed, a country where those who had other views were not our enemies but rather our fellow americans, a country that embraced and honored our heritage and our diversity, a country where all were respected regardless of their skin color, ethnicity, gender identity, or religion.  he spoke of the leadership of abraham lincoln, franklin roosevelt, john f. kennedy, and barack obama and how each had called us to become our best selves at crucial times.  he spoke of the work ahead: controlling and defeating the corona virus, building a prosperous future for every person, providing quality affordable health care for all, and ending systemic racism in our society.  he called on us to refrain from demonizing those who disagree with us.  rather, he implored us to allow our "better angels to prevail."

these were speeches of conciliation and optimism.  they asked us to put aside the rhetoric of division, to stop pitting one group against another, to see ourselves as one people, to listen to each other again rather than shouting over one another.  as people celebrated in the streets of many cities after the election was called in biden's favor, there was a sense that a dark period was coming to an end.  americans let off pressure that had been built up during the trump presidency and expressed our relief that the noise, the hatred, the constant controversy emanating from the white house were soon to be no more.

mr. trump has a few more weeks to press his lawsuits and conspiracy theories.  he may take actions that are dangerous for the country, but he can't reverse the decision of the people to turn him out of office, and any actions he takes can be undone once the new administration takes office.  one thing the voters did not do is give mr. biden's administration power to act precipitously in making decisions about the laws and programs which affect our lives, since the democratic majority in the house of representatives was diminished, while the senate will probably still be controlled by a razor-thin republican majority that will be a check on too-hastily-conceived legislative initiatives.  if anything is accomplished it must be through compromise and cooperation, and mr. biden is a master of those skills.  if the senate remains under republican control, let us hope that the republican senators will see that those who elected them want progress that can only be achieved by a willingness to work with their democratic colleagues and with the new president.

may we move forward with a resolve never to return to the dark days of trumpism.  may we conquer the demons that were unleashed during trump's presidency.  may we listen to and learn from our scientists and health care experts.  may our new president be successful in seeing his vision for our country brought to fruition, and may we all share that vision.  shalom.

To Know You Is to Love You

 hatred is a destructive emotion, especially when directed toward another human being, harming both the person who harbors it and the person or persons who are its object.  when we hate another, there is an element of fear that is at the root of the hatred.  one has only to watch a few minutes of a trump rally to see the corrosive effect of hatred.  we recall the "lock her up" chants directed at hillary clinton, the invectives hurled at latin american immigrants, the cruel nicknames trump uses for people he dislikes.  those who participate in these expressions of hate are afraid of electing a woman like hillary clinton to high office, afraid of those whose ethnicity is different from theirs, afraid of those who disagree with them.  we americans have been caught up in a political climate where hate is given free rein.  political opponents are both figuratively and physically assaulted, and the most vile racist elements in the nation have been brought out of the shadows.

just as hate injures individuals, it injures a society.  hate is infectious and easy to give into.  it provides easy solutions to complex problems by scapegoating other groups of people.  our failures and difficulties must be the fault of another group.  "mexican immigrants are taking our jobs," or  "blacks are all living off the taxpayers," the haters proclaim.  we crave leaders who will endorse such notions rather than thoughtful public servants who are willing to do the hard work of getting to the roots of problems and finding ways to solve them.  those who encourage the worst parts of ourselves never solve problems.  they simply create new ones to distract us.

we are not so far from pre-nazi germany, when the slogan "hitler--our only hope" exemplified an easy way to resolve the many problems the german nation faced.  i was reminded of that slogan when trump proclaimed that he was the only one who could solve the problems facing our country.  history has shown us where such thinking leads.  we cannot allow it to fool us.  we must see ourselves as one people, not as a collection of disparate groups all vying for the limited resources that are available.  we must turn from the politics of division and hatred and embrace compassion for one another and for all the world.

on this election day, may we reject the politics of hate.  may we show one another and the world that we are better as a people than those who are filled with hatred and fear of those who are different from us, those who speak other languages, those who are members of other ethnic groups, those who embrace different political views or religions.  may we embrace the ideals on which our nation was founded.  shalom.

Till the Multitude Make Virtue

 it is difficult in these last days leading up to november third to think of anything but the election, particularly the presidential election.  though the third is the official election day, millions of us have already voted, since every state offers an opportunity to vote early, either in person or by mail.  the long lines at the polling stations indicate how important this election is to many americans.  mr. trump's loyal base is determined that he should have another term in office, and those of us who are fearful of his being re-elected are just as determined that mr. biden should be the next president.

as we watched the last presidential debate, the contrast between the two men was stark.  in mr. trump we saw a man with little concern for the devastation the pandemic has wrought, as he told we had to learn to live with it, and offered no compassion for the thousands who have lost loved ones or those who have been infected by the virus themselves.  his primary concern seemed to be reviving the economy, yet he refused to accept responsibility for the failure of government to provide the level of support to businesses and individuals that is necessary to bring about that revival.  instead he blamed that failure on the speaker of the house of representatives who has led the house to pass a comprehensive economic support plan which the republican senate refused to consider or the president to endorse.  

on the other hand, mr. biden spoke with fervor and empathy to those who sit at their dinner tables and lay in their beds with a loved one missing.  he said that, rather than learning to live with the virus, we were learning to die from the virus because the president's administration has no plan for dealing with it and the havoc it has caused.  he spoke of the need for reopening the economy in a safe way with adequate financial support for businesses, schools, and individuals, of the need to listen to the advice of our health care experts and responsible scientists, while mr. trump called those experts "idiots."  on the one hand, we saw a person intent on division and chaos and one who spoke to us reassuringly with an understanding of the suffering of the people of this country and the world.

we cannot survive another four years of donald trump and his ilk.  he is a threat to our democracy, and the empowerment he would feel if re-elected would lead him to new heights of demagoguery and dictatorial power.  his tendency toward totalitarianism will be reinforced if the senate remains under republican control and if his nominee to the supreme court is confirmed, as she most certainly will be.

may we americans turn donald j. trump and his enablers out of office.  may we restore our democratic ideals.  may we honestly confront and deal with the scourge of racism that permeates our society.  may government serve us rather than exploiting us.  may we work together to bring the infection rate from covid-19 under control by following the best scientific and medical advice rather than ignoring it and listening to a president who tells us that its end "is just around the corner."  may we "crown [america's] good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea," as one of our most beloved songs says.  shalom.

'Twixt that Darkness and That Light

 the election is only a few days away.  many states have already begun early voting, allowing millions of people to cast their ballots.  the republicans at every level of government have done their best to suppress voter turnout, to bring into question the legitimacy of ballots cast by mail, and to plant suspicions about the legitimacy of the election process.  there is fear that donald trump will refuse to accept the results of the election if things don't go his way and that there will legal challenges to the result that will lead to the supreme court making the final determination about the outcome.  this is why trump is determined that his nominee for the vacancy on the court will be confirmed before the election, thereby giving him a court that is more favorable to him.

our democracy has never been in greater peril.  already, the judicial system has been transformed into one that is more inclined to side with republican positions.  while mr. obama was president, the republican-controlled senate refused to act on his nominees to the courts, leaving many vacancies that were then filled with trump appointees that were speedily confirmed by the senate, often with candidates for the bench who were unqualified.  in some states with republican majorities in their legislatures or with republican governors restrictive measures have been passed making it more difficult for people of color to vote.  the number of polling stations have been reduced, creating further difficulties for the poor and for black and latino voters to vote.  complicated regulations have been adopted in some states so that it will be easier to disqualify mail-in ballots, which are disproportionately cast by democratic voters.  all of this is being done to discourage voters more likely to vote for the democratic nominee and to disenfranchise certain segments of the population that tend to vote for democrats.

it appears that mr. biden has a wide lead in the polls and that the electoral college map leans in his favor.  the polls tell us that people in the usa are tired of the chaos of the last four years, are weary of the angry and divisive rhetoric coming from the white house, and blame mr. trump for the inept federal response to the covid-19 pandemic.  one can only hope that the polls are right.  the same pollsters told us that hillary clinton was almost certain to be elected president, and, though she won the popular vote decisively, her defeat in three states that were expected to vote in her favor threw the electoral college vote to mr. trump.  many in his own party are campaigning against mr. trump, believing that the nation's democratic institutions will not survive another four years of a trump presidency.  the instances of corruption, the flaunting of democratic norms, the willingness to belittle and threaten political opponents, the attacks on the free press, and the sycophantic behavior of the republicans in congress and mr. trump's cabinet members signal a future trump administration that would take the country to heretofore unimagined levels of dictatorial rule.

may we who are eligible to vote do so, overcoming any obstacles that are placed in our path.  may we vote to decisively remove mr. trump from office and turn our country around.  may we recognize how fragile our democracy is.  may we once more work in concert with other nations of the world to improve the lives of all of us.  may we turn from an "america-first" vision to one of humanity first.  may compassion prevail over hatred and division.  shalom.

Till Death Shall Set Me Free

 not too long ago, i heard someone tell the story of her grandmother whose husband was dying from cancer.  unable to cope with caring for him and their children while managing their farm, she asked her parents to come from their home several hours away to help her.  her parents took the train from a town near their home in oklahoma to assist their daughter, the storyteller's grandmother.  the train was carrying a large contingent of soldiers from kansas to an army base in texas before they were to be deployed to fight in the first world war.  several of the soldiers were infected with the so-called spanish flu, and the couple traveling to help their daughter caught the flu.  both of them died after arriving at their daughter's home.  fortunately for the daughter that they had come to help, she, her children, and husband escaped infection but the death of her parents, for which she blamed herself, colored the remainder of her life.  as the storyteller told it, her grandmother always had an air of sadness about her with her parents' death gnawing at her until she died.

as i recall that story, i think of our present situation, of how many might share this woman's story from back in the early 20th century.  because the virus' long incubation period inside one's body allows it to spread while one is unaware of being infected, the virus that is causing this current pandemic is particularly cruel.  while we go merrily on our way, we may be infecting our loved ones and anyone else with whom we come in contact without knowing that we are in the early stages of infection.  once symptoms appear, if they ever do, one infected person may have already spread the virus to many others, who in turn are spreading it to still more people.

as i heard on the news the other day, many of the current infections have been caused by small gatherings of close friends and families in private homes rather than by mingling with large numbers of people in public places.  certainly, crowded bars and restaurants and events like mr. trump's rallies and white house functions are still spreading the disease, but the intimate get-togethers that we crave may also be fueling the rapid increase in infection that we are now experiencing.  so many of us long for the return of what we thought was normality not so long ago.  we want to travel, to meet new people, to shop, to go out to eat, to go to a movie or a live show.  we want to go to church, to go to parties with our friends and family.  we are tired of wearing masks and angry with those who refuse to wear them.  we want to go to the grocery store and not have to worry about being exposed to the virus.

how do we find our way back to our old "normal?"  will the experience of living through this pandemic color the rest of our lives as it did the life of the grandmother who lost her parents to the flu in 1918?  a friend of ours has said that she believes that covid-19 will be with us for a long time and that we must learn to live with it as best we can.  she's probably right.  it would help if we had a national policy for slowing its spread and could rely on what we hear from our leaders.  we need honest folks at all levels of government who will listen to the advice of scientific and medical experts and reinforce what those who know best are telling them and us.  we need to know and follow the best practices to keep from becoming infected ourselves and to prevent others from being infected.  we need to stop whining about "individual freedom" and think of what's best for those around us, even if we have to endure some inconvenience for a time.

may we find common cause in dealing with this virus.  may we follow the advice of those in the medical and scientific communities.  may we work together to keep one another as safe as possible.  may we as a nation come to the aid of those who are suffering economic loss as a result of the sacrifices necessary to slow the spread of covid-19.  may we act in concert with other nations of the world rather than isolating ourselves from them and acting in selfish, confrontational ways towards them.  may we support one another, realizing that we all suffer because of the havoc this pandemic is causing.  shalom.

Mother of Exiles

 now that the president and many of those around him have been infected with covid-19, the importance of this year's election is underscored.  as the nation has watched the president and his advisors ignore and contradict the recommendations of medical experts, we have seen the grave peril in which their actions have placed us.  as in many other areas, including climate change and environmental degradation, this administration has turned its back on science to pursue a course that is dangerous and shortsighted.  increasing the short term wealth of businesses at the expense of the health and safety of our population has placed us all in danger.

the alternative being presented to us by the president's challenger in the election, mr. biden, demonstrates that we can do much better if we heed the warnings and advice of science by moving to an economy that capitalizes on the need to protect our natural beauty and resources and to make health care available to all our people.  we can produce the energy we need by using clean, renewable sources while slowing both climate change and pollution of the ground, air, and water.  in the process, new jobs will be created, and we will all be better off.

the choice is clear: a science-denier versus a candidate who believes in science, a make-money-at-any-cost failed businessman versus a candidate who believes that we must share the wealth of this nation with all our citizens, a man who tries to deny access to medical care to many of us versus one who believes we are better off as a nation if we all have access to the care we need, a sitting president who ignores the findings of our intelligence community and ingratiates himself with dictators versus one who believes that we ought to pay attention to and act on what we learn from our intelligence agencies and that we should befriend our democratic allies and oppose totalitarian regimes.  it is difficult to see why some still place such stock in mr. trump after all we have learned about him and his family.  we have a pathological liar for a president, one who is at the mercy of unknown entities because of his large debts, and still his faithful base heaps adulation on him.

may we vote mr. trump and those who enable him out of office.  may we elect a leader for whom we have respect, one who embraces inclusiveness rather than sowing chaos.  may we show the world that we are better than what mr. trump and his ilk would have us be.  may we be a partner to  other nations in creating a better world that promotes human values and cares for the earth, rather than an "america-first" sort of country that heaps disdain on our friends.  shalom.

Earth's Toiling Ended

 i've often said that i plan to live for at least 125 years.  my health has always been good.  my heart is strong, i don't need knee or hip replacements, i have few of the aches and pains associated with aging.  here lately, though, i can tell that my body is aging.  i don't have as much energy as i used to have.  my back hurts if i overdo physical activity, and the pain is quite severe unless i am consistent in doing the flexibility and resistance exercises that my physical therapist prescribed for me.  my digestive system gives me some trouble, and, when i eat certain types of food, i pay the consequences.  routine tests show that one of my major organs is not functioning optimally, and one of these days it may fail altogether.  in short, this body that has held up so well for almost seventy-four years is not what it once was.

i am grateful that my body has gotten me this far with few malfunctions.  my immune system is strong, and i seldom catch the common viruses and infections that go around.  even though i feel the effects of the years that are behind me, i am far more active than most people my age.  that being said, i must face the fact that the end of my life is much nearer that i would wish it to be and must be prepared for it.  i have to give some thought to getting my affairs in order so that my family members who survive me are not burdened with sorting them out after i'm gone.  most of all, i have to accept the fact that i won't live forever and come to terms with my own mortality.

we don't want to think about end-of-life matters but i am certain that looking ahead to the inevitable is in our own best interests.  we need to come to terms with our common end, no matter when or how it comes.  i believe that death is a door to a new existence, whether that new life is in some other reality or in being reincarnated in a new body to try once more to discover the truths of human existence.  that belief gives me some comfort, but i won't lay down this life without fighting to sustain it.  my life has, on the whole, been a happy one, and it continues to be so.  i want it to go on forever, even though my body tells me that it can't.  it does me no good to pretend that death won't come to me as it has for those who have gone before me, and so i meditate on the end of my life from time to time.

may we each face the inevitably of our demise.  may we be at peace with our common end and rejoice in the time we've been given, in our "precious human life," glad each day that we've "been fortunate to have awakened."  may we not waste the time we have as we seek to grow each day.  may we be grateful that our bodies have carried us this far and care for them so that they may function as long as possible while accepting that they will ultimately fail us.  may we be well and filled with lovingkindness and compassion.  shalom.

A Short Pause

 my wife and i have been away from home for the past several days, so i am taking a short pause in writing my blog until next week.   until then, may each of us find peace and be at ease.  shalom.

A Thoroughfare for Freedom

  the lies coming from our highest elected official never stop coming.  not one word he utters is believable, and his inability to tell the truth has destroyed our trust in institutions that we rely to keep us safe.  we know that his appointees are pressuring the leaders of the centers for disease control and prevention to feed us information that is consistent with what mr. trump is sayng and in some cases, the cdc has complied.  we know that the president lied to the world in the initial stages of the outbreak the usa.  he continues to lie, telling us that we have turned a corner on the infection rate while the data tells us otherwise.  the one person that we trust to give us honest information, dr. anthony fauci, continues to tell us the truth, though he, too, is being pressured to toe the president's line.  fortunately for us, dr. fauci has the integrity to resist and continues to give us good advice, even when it is not what we wish to hear.  we cannot stop the spread of this insidious virus unless we know the truth about it.  pie in the sky notions about covid-19 won't help us, because they give us false hope and encourage us to abandon safe practices.  what mr. trump and his minions are doing is killing people, and they must be stopped.

with the republican majority in the senate helping him, trump has planted his people throughout the various branches of government.  he has effectively taken over control over our intelligence services, particularly the central intelligence agency and the department of homeland security.  if we had a president who believed that hearing honest assessments of what foreign governments are doing is important to our national security, it would be a good thing for that president to have his own appointees at the helm of the intelligence apparatus.  we do not have such a president and those who run the cia now hide the truth from the congress and downplay evidence that is harmful to trump's political future.  at the dhs, we have leaders who are more concerned with doing trump's will than in viewing those seeking asylum here as fellow human beings.  they treat children with unbelievable cruelty, ripping them from the arms of their parents and sending them back to their home countries where they will be in grave danger.  they destroy families without a thought, and use the pandemic as an excuse.  they expose those who have risked everything to seek freedom in this country to dangerous criminals across the mexican border as if the sacrifices that those asylum seekers means nothing.

diplomatic professionals who have dedicated their lives to serving this country are routinely dispensed with at the state department so that trump's allies can be placed in sensitive positions.  the advice of these professionals is ignored, and incompetents have taken their places.  we offend our allies, while trump nourishes relationships and praises dictators who are enemies of this country.  we have a president who is ignorant of our history and promotes a view of it that is false and dangerous.  he attacks the 1619 project through the department of education because he refuses to see the grave consequences of our reliance on slave labor through much of our history.  he is now forcing changes in training aimed at helping government employees understand the wrongs we perpetuate because of insensitivity to the historic relationship between the races in our country and the need to change that relationship to one that is healthier for everyone, because he believes that anything that is critical of "our noble history" should be ignored so that white male privilege can be preserved.

may we stop the lies and the ignorance flowing from the highest level of our government by tossing trump and his senate allies out.  may we show the world that truth and decency are important values in our country.  may we elect those who will promote true patriotism that seeks to right the wrongs of the past, not perpetuate them.  may we once again welcome those who come here to free themselves from fear, poverty, and tyranny.  shalom.

More to Find Than Can Ever Be Found

as i meditated a few days ago, my attention was on my breath.  i sensed the circular nature of it, how it seemed to have no beginning or end.  there was a constant movement of air in and out.  there did not seem to be a point at which the in-breath stopped and the out-breath began or where the out-breath became the in-breath.  the same was true of the rise and fall of my stomach and chest.  all was one fluid motion.

later in the day i though of the cyclical nature of all things.  our lives arise and fall, giving rise to new life.  we become part of the continuous cycle of life that is our planet and everything on it.  this is true of all life and of the great organism that is our earth.  it is not just some amalgamation of rocks spinning through space.  it has tides that rise and fall, tectonic plates that are in constant motion, winds and water that grind the rock into soil that nurtures life as plants and animals are born and die, decaying into matter that enriches the soil so that new life can arise.

i thought, too, of the prevalence of circular forms in nature:  the stem of a plant, the blossom of a flower, the trunk of a tree and its branches, our arms and legs, our eyes, the gentle curve of the parts of our ears, the roundness of the tops of our heads, the bend of the river, the crater of the volcano, our planet itself.  all around us are circles and curves.  yet we humans seem to have a penchant for right angles, for square and rectangles.  we live in houses based on those shapes, we frame our pictures in them.  we love square corners and parallel lines, and i wonder why that is, since these things exist so seldom in nature.  perhaps it is because it is simpler to construct things that are based on ninety degree angles; perfect circles are much more difficult to create with our limited abilities, though nature seems to prefer circular constructions.

perhaps it all comes back to the breath, this continuum that is life itself for all animals, including human beings.  when we gasp our last breath, our lives in their present form are over and we become part of the greater continuum that is the earth and the universe.  at that point the circle is complete.  we have returned to the place of our origin, and new life begins.  breath in-breath out, the great mystery continues.

may we relish each breath we are given, rejoicing in the opportunity to experience life.  may we seek to understand our place in the great scheme of things and to appreciate each part of nature and its role in the great dance.  may we know that we are part of something eternal, that our last breath is a new beginning.  shalom.

In Every Life We Have Some Trouble

it's strange how little disappointments can cause us great suffering.  for instance, a few days ago, i had taken some pains to hang a small shelf for my wife, climbing up and down on a step stool, measuring, retrieving tools, finding just the right sized nails for the job.  in end the shelf, though perfectly level, did not appear to be straight because a nearby door was out of square, making the shelf look like it was askew.  after all my hard work, the job was not perfect.  the shelf had to come down, because no amount of adjusting would make it look right.  i was heartbroken.  "all my hard work for nothing," i thought.  all the rest of the day i was sad and could not get my mind away from the problem with the shelf.

now, as i look back, i see how i allowed something which i could not remedy to affect me deeply, spoiling my day.  instead of accepting that things don't always work out despite our best efforts, i dwelt on my problem, wounding myself over and over.  we do this so often in life, letting matters that are inconsequential and beyond our control cause us suffering.  of course, it is not the problem itself that causes us to suffer, but rather our pain is caused by our mind's interpretation of the situation and our constant rehashing of it.  we simply cannot let it go.  we do this with things great and small.  instead of finding a way around our problem, we constantly remind ourselves of our failure.

in the end, the solution to my little problem was to take down the shelf and find something else to hang in that spot that didn't bring the out-of-kilter door to the attention of the eye.  it wasn't until the next day that i realized that there was a way to solve my dilemma, but i refused to see it because my mind insisted on repeatedly cursing a situation that was not of my own making, one that was of little consequence in the end.  this is the way it is with everything that causes us to suffer.  we must recognize that we are not in control, that we must accept things that we cannot change and find ways to deal with them in a productively.

may we let go of our suffering, seeing that our distress is caused by our minds' interpretation of a situation, not by the situation itself.  may we set aside our  problems until our subconscious, intuitive, mind has time to work out a way to resolve them.  may we not allow our failures to control us by dwelling on them.  shalom.

That Sees Beyond the Years

this past week, i watched the democratic national convention for each of the evenings that it took place.  the speeches and video presentations made me both optimistic and fearful for our country and for the lives of each of us who live here.  i am optimistic because of the vision for the country that was laid out if democrats are victorious in the november election, fearful of what will happen if they are not.  for me, highlights of the convention were the speeches of michelle and barack obama, braydon harrington, bernie sanders and joe biden, the roll call vote of the states and territories as vice-president biden was named the party's nominee, and the black lives matter presentation that included comments by george floyd's brother, philonise.  there were other speakers who were effective as well:   bill and hilary clinton, pete buttigieg, vice-presidential nominee kamala harris, andrew yang, colin powell, cindy mccain, john kasich, amy klobuchar, elizabeth warren, and jan inslee among them.

during the convention, the country's diversity was emphasized, with the theme of "we the people" including all of the disparate ethnic groups that have come together to make up "the people."  the celebration of our rich patchwork of cultures was a vivid contrast to the vision of donald trump and his allies, who see the usa as a society where white men ought to be dominant and in control.  i was especially touched by the comments of deb haaland, a native american who is a us representative, as she told us that she was the 35th generation of her people, the pueblo nations, living in what is now new mexico.

the convention also highlighted the human decency and compassion of joe biden, the party's nominee for president.  cindy mccain spoke of the deep friendship between mr. biden and the late senator mccain, who, though they were members of different parties, found common ground in their love for this country and their mutual desire to serve as best they could.  others told of mr. biden's kindness in reaching out to them in times of difficulty, as he took time from a busy schedule to stop and listen to them and offer words of encouragement and comfort.  the thirteen-year-old speaker, braydon harrington, told of how mr. biden spent time with him after meeting him at a campaign event when joe shared his own struggle with stuttering and told braydon of some of the things he did to overcome his disability.  no one could imagine our current president doing any of those things, and it is this stark contrast that makes it so important to do whatever we can to elect joe biden as our country's president.

may those of us who can vote in this country do so.  may we vote for candidates who embody lovingkindness and compassion.  may we work to encourage others to support those who embrace our highest ideals and who reject the rhetoric of division and hate.  may we be truly great by using the power of government to help all people, to protect every member of our society, to welcome strangers, and to care for one another.  shalom.

Amid the Flood of Mortal Ills

the pandemic seems to go on forever.  we live with the restrictions is has imposed on us and long for a return to what life was like before it struck.  we tire of wearing masks every time we go out.  we long to be able to shake hands, hug, and to sit and stand near others, but we know that we endanger ourselves and them if our personal contact is too close.  we want to be able to sing in choirs and in our church services, to attend concerts, to take part in group activities, but we know all those pursuits are dangerous.  we wish we could travel, going away to see loved ones or to see sights we've never visited before, but we are fearful that we might be a party to spreading the virus or might become infected.

we watch as our leaders fail us, refusing to take the tough actions that would slow the spread of the disease.  we fear for the safety of school employees and students as schools reopen for in-person learning despite the warnings that this will cause the virus to infect staff and children unnecessarily.  we see how our health care facilities and those who staff them are overwhelmed and wonder what will happen when they must deal with both influenza and covid-19 at the same time.  we weep for those who are jobless, who cannot pay their bills, who are being forced out of their homes, and who cannot feed themselves and their loved ones, as some in the government block efforts to assist them in the belief that providing financial assistance will make workers lazy.  we shake our heads in disgust and amazement as the advice of experts is ignored or contradicted by some in power to promote their own re-election and financial gain.

it seems that this whole affair has been bungled from the start.  our leaders refused to take the hard actions required at the beginning and rushed to end the meager steps that had been taken.  we've dithered as the virus became rampant and, even when we knew that we needed to take drastic actions, we lacked the national leadership that was necessary.  now we find ourselves in circumstances as dire as they were at the start of the virus's spread.  it is as if nothing was ever done and the virus was allowed to infect millions with little effort to stop it.

there is not much we can do as individuals, other than take the precautions needed to keep ourselves safe.  we can hope that in november there will be a change in the national government that may bring about a nationwide effort to improve our situation and can work towards that end.  we can offer help to those who need it.  beyond that, we are at the mercy of the virus and those whom we've elected.

may we do what we can to make the best of the situation.  may we be filled with lovingkindness and compassion.  if we and our loved ones are free of the virus, may we be grateful that we have escaped so far.  beyond that, may we be grateful for all that we have.  may we share our bounty with those who are struggling.  shalom.

Each Loving Life A Psalm of Gratitude

my wife and i witnessed a conversation between a mother and her son a few days ago that has been on my mind ever since.  we are related to these two, and both are wonderful people of whom we are quite fond.  the son, who is just shy of fifty, lives in his parents' home.  he has suffered life-threatening accidents twice in his adult life, both the results of poor judgment on his part.  these injuries have left him with some physical and mental handicaps that make it difficult for him to hold a full-time job, so he is dependent on his parents for the necessities of life.  though his parents have three extra bedrooms in their home, he has chosen to live in their basement lawn mower garage because he wants to have an indoor cat.  his father is allergic to cats, so they cannot have a cat in the house.

his mother worries about him constantly.  it is a source of great aggravation to her that he refuses to keep his garage/bedroom clean and tidy.  when it is cleaned, it is she who must do it.  as we were visiting with them, she made a comment about the state of his living quarters, and he took offense that she would bring the matter up in front of us.  his mother usually changes the subject when he takes umbrage at what she is saying, but this time she reminded him that he is living in her house and therefore should conform to her expectations about how he keeps his room.  my wife and i were glad that she stuck to her position.  in her mid-seventies she should not have to be picking up and cleaning up after a man who is in his late forties.

as we talked about the conversation later, we both felt the same way.  if the son truly loves his mother and cares about her well being as much as she does about his, he would do the simple tasks she asks of him, knowing that in so doing he is relieving her of a burden that weighs on her.  at her age she should not have to climb up and down the stairs to his basement living quarters to take care of what he should be taking care of himself.  by relieving her of this worrisome task, he would be creating a healthier environment for himself and his cat and contributing to a more harmonious household for all three of them.

thinking about this reminded me that we all can ease the burdens of others by paying attention to the things that we do that cause them to suffer.  i know that each of us causes our own suffering, but as we live in society with others there is no need for us to continue with actions that bother others when stopping those actions would not harm us and might even help us, as is the case with our male relative who continues to act as if his mother is his maid.  so often, a simple act of kindness that costs us nothing makes a world of difference to another.

it is much the same with the mask-wearing controversy in our country.  even if one doesn't believe that wearing a mask when out in public prevents the spread of disease, it is a simple act to wear one, an act that costs us little, but wearing a mask may help another person to feel safer and more secure.  indeed, refusal to wear a mask ignores the possibility that we are protecting ourselves and others.

may we try to look at life through the eyes of others, seeking to understand things from their perspective.  may we not be so quick to judge or to insist on our own way.  may we learn to listen with compassion and may our actions be guided by love both for ourselves and for others.  shalom.

Everybody Get Together

the other day, i found an article from the washington post in apple news.   the article described the experience of a young man who had come to our town, spending several days here holding up a sign that said "black lives matter."  some of the time, he held the sign at the foot of a billboard near the southern border of our town.  the billboard advertised "whiteprideradio.com" and "altrighttv.com," and the words "for the family" with a picture of a white family beside a flaming cross, an obvious reference to the ku klux klan, appeared in the center.

i'm always disturbed by the sign when i pass it.  unfortunately, the area that includes the town in which i live has a reputation for racism of the most vile kind.  at the beginning of the 20th century, the black population of the town was terrorized by a mob of angry whites to the point that the black residents fled, never to return.  not far from our town and in the same county is a small hamlet, the remains of a zinc mining town, that is reputed to be the headquarters of one branch of the kkk.  just before you reach this town, there is a church that espouses white supremacy as essential to the christian religion, and the pastor of the church is said to be a high officer in the kkk.

it is not uncommon to see confederate flags being flown outside homes and even a few businesses here.  there used to be several other racist billboards outside town, but under pressure from some of the town leaders, those have been taken down.  apparently, the owner of the one remaining billboard, pictured in this article, cannot be persuaded to remove it.  the town has been struggling to erase the images of racism that have given it the reputation of being "America's most racist town."  among those championing the fight against the tradition of racism here are the leaders of the church to which i belong.  our church has a few black members, employs two black staff members, and has just called a black woman to be our pastor.

after reading the article and watching the accompanying video, it is quite evident that there is still much work to be done.  the verbal abuse the young man suffers at the hands of several people who drive past him hurling insults, some of which are quite threatening and vulgar, demonstrate the deep-seated prejudices that are slow to disappear.  one has hope that there is a generation of young people who reject this racist tradition, as a young woman comes up to the man and hands him a note that reads "ignore the haters.  you’re being peaceful.  what you’re doing is good."  in the days following the killing of george floyd two peaceful demonstrations in support of the black lives matter movement took place on the town square.  on the second day of the protests, a group of mostly young white men showed up waving confederate flags and heckling the protestors, using some of the same language that was directed against the young man in the article, but there was no physical violence directed at the blm demonstrators.

i don't know why this young man came here.  i know little about him, other than what appears in the article.  perhaps he was conducting an experiment to see if our town lives up to its reputation as a bastion of white supremacy.  perhaps he had other motives that were less idealistic.  whatever his reasons for being here with his sign, he didn't deserve the treatment he received.  attempts by some in the community to defend the town by impugning his integrity or questioning the authenticity of the video miss the point.  no one ought to be subjected to the insults hurled at him.  the way this man was abused proves the point of the blm movement: there are forces at work, even in small town america, that thrive on hatred directed at black people and their allies.  there is a deep-seated racism that infects our society that flows from the indefensible practice of enslaving other human beings, and it must be recognized for what it is and rooted out.  like an insidious infection, it grows inside us if we don't take steps to stop it, and  every white american, no matter how much we try to deny it, is infected by it to some degree or other.

may we see the kinship of us all, a kinship that is beyond superficial appearances, religion, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation.  may we love even those who are filled with hate, those who are difficult to love.  may we not believe that any of us are too good to harbor unreasonable thoughts of the "other-ness" of anyone or any group.  may we recognize our own prejudices and let them go along with the emotions that cause them in us.  shalom.

When You Worry You Make It Double

for several days now, we've had repairmen working at our home.  we discovered that an area around our garage doors had been attacked by termites, so we've been having the damaged wood removed, the area treated for termites, and new wood put back.  inside the house, we've been having some improvements made that we've been wanting to do since buying our home.  the men who have been doing the work on both jobs have been very agreeable, and they've done fine work, so we're quite pleased.  the inside work has been completed, and the work on the garage is almost finished.

despite the professionalism of the men we employed and their care to make certain that we are pleased with their work, it has been incredibly stressful for my wife and i.  whenever anything like this is going on, it seems as if the whole house is turned topsy-turvy, and to have both the garage and the house in disorder at the same time was almost more than we could handle.  we're both cleanliness and order freaks, and we were on edge the whole time the work was being done.  we spent the entire day after the work in the house was completed putting things back in order and cleaning every room in the house.  now that is done, we feel at ease once more.  in a few days, i'll be able to get the garage back in order and do some cleaning up out there, so all will be just as we want it to be, at least until the next time we need to have some home repairs or improvements done.

as i sit and think about how stressed we were, i wonder what it is that puts us on edge about a situation like this.  those doing the work couldn't have been more pleasant or more concerned with doing work that was just what we wanted.  the repairs and improvements were done well and left our home in much better shape than before.  i suppose that we were concerned that some aspect of the work might be subpar, leading to a potential confrontation with one of the workers, that there might be some dispute about the cost of the completed work, or that some unforeseen difficulties might arise that would make the work more difficult and more costly.  none of those things happened, so our stress and worry were completely unnecessary.  the root cause of our anxiety was that the orderliness of our home was disturbed for a protracted length of time.  as always, we were resistant to changes that disturbed the flow of our lives.  that, in addition to the changes mandated by the virus outbreak and our country's many mistakes in dealing with it, made us miserable.  i wonder, now that the home repairs are done for the time being, how we could better have dealt with the disturbances to our daily routine.

may we learn to accept that change is a part of life, that everything cannot always be just as we want it to be.  may we look to the results that beneficial changes bring, rather than the disruptions that are passing and transitory.  may we be grateful for those who are the agents of change that make our lives better.  may we accept that we are humans who feel stress and worry instead of feeling guilty for having those very human traits.  shalom.

She Has Her Grief and Care

it puzzles me that we often are most hurtful to those we love, to the members of our own families.  several days ago, a close relative of my wife called her.  my wife could tell her relative was angry when she began talking.  almost immediately in the conversation, this person began lashing out at my wife over a perceived slight.  as my wife tried to explain the circumstances, the relative kept interrupting, refusing to hear my wife.  i heard my wife say to her caller that she ought to just calm down so they could talk more rationally.  her request to let go of the anger was ignored.  at the end of the conversation, the relative told my wife that she would just call back another time when "they were both calmer," as if my wife had  initiated the anger.

soon after, my wife had occasion to visit with another close relative who reported getting a call from the same relative who was angry with my wife.  she, too, reported that this person was angry and "chewed her out," accusing her of having listened in on the earlier call to my wife, though she was not with my wife when the first call took place.  the two recipients of their common relative's tirades handled them very differently.  my wife had tried to explain why her relative's anger was unwarranted, while the second victim of her ire just listened until the angry caller had finished venting.  i'm not sure which approach was best--my wife let her disagreeable relation know that she wasn't going to be intimidated by her, while the patient listener left the impression that the abusive relative's anger was justified, but she at least got the anger out of her system for a brief period of time.

she reported that this caller went on to complain that no one ever called her, that no one suffered as she did, that her life was a miserable round of taking her ailing, elderly husband from one doctor's appointment to another.  both my wife and her patient relative bemoaned this woman's unhappiness and wished they could help her.  i pointed out that it was she who had to fix what was wrong in her life, that her suffering stemmed from her own refusal to let go of her victimhood.  she believes that her suffering stems from her treatment by an abusive father and first husband, from her abandonment by her only child though they have since reconciled, from her "crazy" neighbor, from her aging husband, from the failure of her relations to call or visit her, while in the end it is she who pushes others away and makes time spent with her a misery.  it is true that she was abused by her father and first husband but her refusal to let go of her bitterness and anger towards them and her failure to forgive or come to terms with her history has made her someone who is angry at the world and all who want to love and care for her.  she pushes others away as if she believes she is unworthy of love and suspicious of those who try to show her compassion.  in the end, her actions towards others cause them to behave towards her as she expects them to, further confirming her belief that all her problems are caused by those around her rather than by herself.

may we understand that we often get what we expect.  maybe this is part of the truth in jesus' words when he said, "ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find."  if we act with kindness and compassion and believe that others will respond to us in the same way, that is usually what we receive from them.  may we see the hurting child in those who treat us with contempt, thus changing our attitudes toward them and perhaps in the process changing them as well.  shalom.

I Am Old But I'm Happy

we were talking with another couple our age a few days ago about how our views of our parents have changed as we've gotten older.  this came up when one of us made a remark about one of our children never coming to help us with anything.  we all remembered that as our fathers aged, we never thought of them as getting old.  in our younger days, we seemed to think that our fathers would be with us forever, that they were just as capable of handling all their responsibilities like mowing the yard and trimming the shrubs as they had been when we were growing up.  now that we are up in years, we see that they could have used our help.  their stamina made it more difficult for them to take care of everything around their homes, but we couldn't see that until we ourselves were at the same point in our lives.

our attitudes towards our mothers were different, though.  as our mothers aged, we felt the need to help them and made many trips to do things for them that we didn't do for our fathers.  i was the only participant in the conversation whose father had outlived his wife.  my wife and i did many things for her mother after my wife's father died, but we didn't do any of those things for my father after my mother died.  it wasn't that i didn't love my father.  i just had a different attitude about him and his needs than i did about my wife's mother.  as i look back, i can see that much of that had to do with sexism.  in my mind, my wife's mother was weaker and needed help; my father, being a male, was stronger and, because he was a man, was able to look after himself without my help.  i know now that i was wrong.  he could have used my help but i failed to see it.

now i am in the same position.  i don't blame my son for not coming over to help me with chores that are difficult for me.  i'm sure he feels as i did--that his father is indestructible, forever young.  if i were to die, he would probably come to his mother's aid to see that physically demanding chores around the house were taken care of.  one day, he will see, as i do now, that as we get older we can't get things done as quickly as we used to and some things must be left for others to do because we can't do them for ourselves.  i don't regret not helping my dad.  he probably would have resented me "taking over" those tasks that had become difficult for him, just as i resist asking my own son for help.  i'm simply amazed that i see through different eyes now than i did not so many years ago.  in many ways i have become my dad and my son has become me.

may we understand how we are all related, how each of us changes with the passage of time.  may we see that the vantage point of youth is different from that of old age and have compassion for one another no matter at what stage of life we find ourselves.  may we know that we are all sons and fathers, daughters and mothers, each of us part of the same family.  may we be slow to condemn and quick to love.  shalom.

Try to Love One Another Right Now

the other day i went into a local pizza shop to pick up a pizza i had ordered.  as i walked along the side of the shop to the entrance, i noticed several signs posted that said masks were required inside the building.  at the door, the same sign was posted, and just inside the door was a large chalkboard with "masks required" written on it in large letters.  as i waited at the counter, another customer came in without a mask on.  i pointed to the sign, and she smiled back at me, obviously not intending to return to her car and put on a mask.  i pointed to the sign once more and got the same reaction.

as i left the shop with my pizza, a group of older folks were getting out of their car.  noticing the sign, one of them asked, "do you really have to wear a mask inside?"  i pointed to one of the signs, and said, "that's what the sign says."  one of the women in the group turned to the driver of the car and asked him to retrieve their masks, while she and the rest of the group proceeded to the door.  the driver followed behind with several masks in his hand, but none of them stopped to put the masks on.  as i got in my car, i wondered if they ever donned their masks.

i don't understand the attitudes of people who refuse to wear masks in public.  do they believe that the masks are of no use in spreading the virus?  do they have no regard for those around them?  do they think that the reports about the virus and its ease of transmission are "fake news?"  are they making a political statement in support of a president who ignores the advice of health experts, encourages risky behavior on the part of the population by presiding over large gatherings that make social distancing impossible, and refuses to wear a mask himself?  maybe all of these reasons apply.

as i meditated this morning, i repeated the phrase, "may i be filled with lovingkindness and compassion, may i be well."  as the words went through my mind, i thought of the unmasked woman in the pizza place, and the group of older people who entered without wearing their masks.  a sense of lovingkindness and compassion for those who worked in the restaurant would compel its patrons to wear masks.  if we wish to be well and to help others to be well, then we will wear a mask when we are among others outside our own homes.  our own health and the health of others are inextricably wed.  wearing a mask is a simple way of protecting one another as virus infections increase in so many places.

may we all be filled with lovingkindness and compassion so that we may be well.  may we tolerate some inconvenience and discomfort if, in doing so, we can make life better for others.  may our interconnectedness lead us to see that we must not think only of ourselves, that indeed we are all part of one great Self.  shalom.

Earth and All Stars

each morning as i walk inside my home and meditate, i touch a variety of surfaces--various types of wood and fabric, the quartz of the kitchen countertop, the glass that covers the kitchen table, the metal on appliances.  i'm aware of the variety of sensations that each material causes on my fingertips or the side of my arm as i brush past the objects along my path.  it struck me that all these substances, though very different, are part of the stuff of that primordial explosion that brought the universe into being.  everything, including myself, is made of the dust of that "big bang" and eventually we and everything we see and touch will return to that same dust.

in this way, the universe and everything in it is related.  we and the stars are one living thing, a whole much greater than the sum of its parts.  this collection of particles--electrons, protons, neutrons--that i call "me" are the same bits of matter that form all that exists.  the differences between "me" and a piece of wood or sheet of metal are much less than our similarities.  if there is so little that separates "me" from an inanimate object, the differentiation between this "me" and billions of other "me's" is miniscule.  we are so much alike, all made of the same stardust that makes up the rest of the universe.  the villain and the saint, the emperor and the pauper, the arab, the jew and the gentile, the man and the woman--we're all the same.  circumstances and the choices we make in dealing with them cause us to go down divergent paths.  biology and the ways in which we are brought up--nature and nurture--cause us to look at life differently.  in the end we are part of one great sameness.

this being the case, we must relate to one another in ways that recognize that we are not individuals looking at everything outside us as some "other."  we and all that surrounds us make up the environment.  caring for the earth and every person is caring for ourselves.  the vastness of the universe is contained in each of us, and, as the psalmist says, we are "wonderfully made."

may we see the holiness of every object and every person.  because we are all made of the same stuff, may lovingkindness, compassion, and forgiveness flow from us to every living thing.  may we remember that we came from dust and will return to dust, part of the eternal cycle of the universe.  shalom.

The Words of Hope I Often Failed to Give

in reading the book, "letting go," by david hawkins, i've been most taken by his discussion of how to let go of our regrets about past actions or failure to act.  so often in meditation, painful incidents from our past surface.  we are filled with bitterness and anxiety by the ways we've hurt others or been hurt by them.  these mistakes may have taken place years ago, but they still haunt us.  we wish that we could change the way we behaved towards another or had acted when we stood by.  we can't go back and change the past, but we can learn from it and sometimes make amends.  hawkins reminds us that we did the best we could.  even if we didn't, our mind magnifies the effects of our past on others.  what we imagine as a deep injury that we caused another may have simply been a blip on their radar that was forgotten long ago while our own ego turns it into a giant storm that never existed.

one's own limited past experience and understanding is now seen by a wiser person who would have acted differently.  we can be grateful for having gained wisdom so that, presented with the same or similar circumstances, we would behave with more compassion and lovingkindness.  we can let go or those past regrets and forgive ourselves, knowing that we have gained greater insight into our own mind and heart and into those of others.  our minds cling to our past in ways that are painful to us, magnifying old hurts that we caused others or that others caused us.

 this clinging tells us that we are unworthy, playing back old recordings that create suffering where none need exist.  we can let go of that pain.  it is ironic that our search for peace and calm brings this suffering to the surface.  yet were it not so, how else could we deal with it by changing the mind's pattern to one of forgiveness and calm rather than one of regret and unrest.  we learn to revere a past that has brought us to the place we are now, grateful for the lessons we've learned, relishing the joys of the past, and letting go of the suffering caused by our ignorance.

 may we replace pain with gratitude and awareness.  may we not dwell on past missteps.  may we embrace the goodness within us and recognize the goodness within others, despite how we sometimes harm one another.  may we make the process of learning and letting go a part of our lives.  shalom.

God's Truth Is Marching On

we've watched the unfolding protests in this country and around the world over the horrific murder of george floyd by a uniformed police officer in minnesota.  following soon after the killing of ahmad arbery, a young black man out jogging who was assumed to be up to no good by two white vigilantes, the killing of floyd seems to have been the last straw for many who see the racism that was so long suppressed in the usa coming to the surface during the administration of donald trump.  the president's thinly disguised racism has encouraged those who had been afraid to openly express their hateful philosophy to come out of the shadows.  it is a heartening sign that so many have joined and supported the protests in recognition that we can no longer allow racists to bully our society.

i have been surprised at the attitudes of some people that i have great affection for.  the male member of a couple with whom we play cards said the other day, as we were discussing floyd's murder, that he didn't believe that black people in this country are discriminated against, though he agreed that floyd's killer should be brought to justice and that there had been discrimination in the past.  my wife and i were horrified by his statement.  he has lived all of his working life in an area where there are few blacks, the same area where we now live.  it seems that the black population was driven from this community in the aftermath of the civil war, and the area has a reputation as a haven for racists of the worst kind.  attitudes in the town have changed radically over the last twenty-five or so years, with the black population increasing, though it is still a minuscule part of the total population.  we reminded him of how out of touch with the life of blacks in this country he was and pointed out to him many instances of discrimination that still exist, though i am certain that we didn't convince him that his position was wrong.

a few days later, his daughter posted a short essay on facebook, the main point of which was that, while racism exists, it has and always will because we are all imperfect sinners whose only hope is trusting that jesus died on the cross to atone for our imperfections.  she went on to say that when she graduated from high school she was unable to be enrolled in the university of her choice because of affirmative action and that her husband had been turned down for jobs because of racial quotas in companies where he has applied.  she has never lived in a racially diverse community, she and her family attend churches that have few black congregants, her children attend "christian schools" that are almost 100% white.  in short, she has no inkling of the black experience in this country and believes that we must ignore history and declare that we now have a level playing field where everyone has equal opportunities.

no white person in this country can fully understand what it is like to be a black person in our society.  we don't appreciate what it is like to be descended from people who were forcibly removed from their homes, brought across the atlantic ocean under the most inhumane conditions one can conceive, and enslaved, bought and sold like livestock in the public square to work in the fields so that a white family could live in luxury off the fruits of their involuntary, unpaid labor.  we don't have to teach our children how to act in an appropriately servile manner when approached by a police officer.  we don't have to suffer the indignity of being presumed to be a criminal because of the color of our skin.

it is easy to think that because we had no part in past injustices we are free of responsibility for them.  every white person in this country has participated in the oppression of black americans in some way.  my forbears were slave owners.  they came to this state early in its history, bringing with them their slaves who had no choice in moving here.  they were my great-great-grandfather's possessions, and it didn't matter that they had to leave the remainder of their family to come with him and his family to a new and strange place.  even if our families never owned slaves, we've profited off the economic enslavement of black people, though those people were ostensibly free.  before desegregation, many of our children enjoyed the best of a free public education, while most black children attended second-rate schools.  after desegregation, so that a predominantly white society could pay lower taxes, public schools have been starved for funds, making it easy for white americans to say that they have to send their children to segregated private schools because of the inferiority of public schools.  attempts to make up for past wrongs, such as affirmative action and hiring quotas, have been derided as discriminatory to white people, and conservative politicians and judges have done everything they can to do away with such public policies, with a great deal of success.

we now see the fruits of our past actions.  it is no wonder that black people and their supporters are rising up against an unjust system designed to "keep black in their place," subservient to a white majority that is increasingly a smaller proportion of the population as a whole.  this fact strikes fear in the hearts of those who want to "make america great again," a code for returning to a past that made injustice and inequality part of the legal foundation of our country.  if we are to be a truly great, we have to right the wrongs of the past and face our history honestly.  while we can't live in the past, we shouldn't forget it either, since it informs the present state of our country.

may we truly make america great by embracing the ideals of the declaration of independence, even if its principal author didn't always live his own life in accord with those ideals.  may we see that we all have to play our part in righting past wrongs, even when it is costly to us.  may we be quiet and listen, learning from those who cry out against their continuing maltreatment, as we seek to understand what their experiences must be like.  shalom.

For It Is In Dying That We Are Born

"may i understand the clinging and craving which cause my suffering."  what are "clinging" and "craving?"  in his description of love, st. paul lists these attributes of what love isn't and doesn't:  love is not envious, boastful, arrogant, or rude, does not insist on its own way, is not irritable or resentful, does not keep a count of wrongs.  perhaps these characteristics of what-love-is-not tell us, at least in part, what clinging and craving are.  all of these negatives are signs of one who is so caught up in the ego as to be incapable of love.  such a person clings to an idea of self that is the very definition of "self-ish," craving a world in which everything revolves around one's own desires.  we cling to this small self, often doing the opposite of love.  we envy others for what they have and what they've accomplished, we boast of our possessions and status while belittling others, we arrogantly proclaim our own superiority, we give little thought to the feelings of others, we insist on the rightness of our own way of thinking, we lash out at others when they disagree with others and keep a scorecard of their failings and refusals to bow to our will.  this clinging to what is "ours" and craving what is another's is a recipe for unhappiness and suffering.

in many ways clinging and craving are two sides of the same coin.  we cling to our own ways of thinking and doing, and we crave for things to remain as we would wish them to be.  yet change is inevitable; it is the only constant.  it is essential that we learn to accept change and to adapt to it.  in fact, change within ourselves is the only way that we can achieve happiness and lessen suffering.  we must abandon our unlovely ways of thinking and being little by little as we move down the path that leads to the end of our suffering.  we must become the servant of all and serve others, as jesus said, if we are to stop clinging and craving, to end our what-love-is-not ways.

may we each learn to open our hearts to the big world around us.  may we seek out larger ways of thinking about ourselves and our relationships to others.  may we embrace change and allow it to flow through us, enlarging our perspective and filling our hearts with lovingkindness.  may we accept ourselves and others in all our unloveliness without clinging to that which keeps us stuck in our smallness.  shalom.