To Love and Be Loved

how does one deal with those who seek only their own well-being, who are always dissatisfied, who seem to never put the needs of others ahead of their own needs?  this is the problem i face with a close family member.  i see my loved one's unhappiness in never having enough of anything, as they look incessantly for new things to buy.  i see the unhappiness in coming to the end of each day as my loved one says, "this was a terrible day."  yet i seem powerless to help this family member.

this morning as i spent time in prayer and meditation, my thoughts kept returning to this person that i love, this person whose thinking is filled with "if only this or that would happen, i would be happy."  my resolve today is redouble my efforts to show this dear one love, to work to live a life of service and happiness myself in the hope that my loved one will see that happiness is possible when one lets go of the need to possess and to enjoy each moment as it comes.  i can't take responsibility for this one's happiness, but i can only do what is within my power to relieve her suffering.

my prayer for each of us this day is that we don't allow the suffering of others to pull us away from a life of service that brings joy to us, that we work to relieve suffering, not by taking responsibility that belongs to another, but by showing that is possible to let go of our own selfish desires and find the path to happiness through service.

I Am [Not] Evil, [Not] Born in Sin

last sunday in our worship service, we read a unsion prayer of confession, as we do each sunday.  the prayer in this particular service was filled with "sin" words, as one might expect in a prayer of confession, but this particular prayer sparked thoughts in me about our focus on sin and the need to continually ask forgiveness and feel guilt and shame because of our sinfulness.  as i sat in the service, i began to wonder if this model doesn't do a lot of damage.

we who were raised in the calvinist tradition have constantly been told of the evil nature of the human race and the need to constantly compare our sinfulness to the goodness of God.  we don't hear a lot about "total depravity" any more (thank goodness) but the legacy of that construct has been ingrained in us.  as i age and examine the human condition, i become more and more certain that God created us as good creatures, that our natural state is one of goodness.  but we have been given freedom to choose how we live our lives, and we do not always act in ways that are consistent with our own natures.

this practice of constantly confessing our "sins" and begging forgiveness leads to feeling that one is unworthy, degraded, a failure.  a much healther approach, and one i believe is more in line with who we truly are and how we should relate to one another and the Creator, is to realize that we are imperfect but capable of learning to make wiser choices, choices that increase our happiness and decrease our own suffering and that of others.  life is a process, and we can choose to learn and grow to become more compassionate, to live more mindfully, to listen to the voice of goodness that God placed in our hearts and minds.

we hear over and over that we need to eat healthier foods, we are too fat, we need to work harder, we need to exercise more, we need to accumulate more stuff, we need to save more money, we need to invest more money, we need, we need, we need.  the message of all that "needing" is that we are moral, social, and physical failures.  isn't it better to examine our lives, asking ourselves if this action or that practice increases or decreases our true happiness and that of others and make choices based on reasonable decision-making?

my prayer for each of us this day is that we celebrate our innate goodness, live more mindfully, and transform our lives based on choices arrived at through reason, choices that increase happiness and decrease suffering!

Like the Sunshine after Rain

if you haven’t read the art of happiness by his holiness the dalai lama and dr. howard cutler, i highly recommend it.  as i was reading one section the other day, i was taken by the discussion of the reason the sensation of pain is important.  in the section of the book entitled “dealing with pain,”  cutler cites pain: the gift that nobody wants by dr. paul brand.  brand, as retold by cutler, recalls his early experiences of treating lepers in india.  because the disease had robbed his patients of the sensation of pain in their extremities, they were often injured by wounds that became infected or by burns.  the pain that would have warned them of dangerous situations was absent, and this led to injuries that could have been rendered much less serious or avoided altogether.

this section of the book prompted me to think of the effects of some other unpleasant sensations and emotions, of the “yin and yang” of human existence.  is it possible to understand joy without experiencing sadness?  can there be happiness without suffering?  does peace have meaning if one has not been exposed to conflict?  it seems that we are able to experience the full range of human emotions in order to see the differences between those that are desirable and those that are not.  in order to benefit from the positive, there must be a negative.  those who say that the suffering in the world proves that there is no God, i think, miss the point.  suffering is caused by our own actions, and when we allow negative emotions--greed, lust for power, desire, and the like--to become the focus of our lives, suffering for ourselves and others is the result.

when we recognize that it is our own failure to turn from those undesirable, limiting emotions and work to eliminate them while embracing positive emotions--love, compassion, generosity--our own suffering and that of others is lessened.  the great gift of God is that we are given the freedom to make that choice.  my prayer for us this day is that we exercise the freedom we are given to turn from those things which increase suffering and embrace those which lead to happiness.

Snow Had Fallen, Snow on Snow

my wife and i are planning a trip to germany and switzerland, with side trips into france and austria, for the last week of november and the first week of december.  at first, we thought we'd take a cruise on the rhine river, but as i looked at all the places we could see by opting for day trips on the train from munich and basel, we decided we'd rather spend a week in each of those cities.  are we crazy for making a trip to bavaria and switzerland at that time of year?  the idea of experiencing late fall and the beginnings of winter in places where there is a pronounced change of seasons seems exciting to us.  watching snow fall on beautifully lit christmas markets sounds incredibly romantic from the comfort of my armchair in the den right now, and i hope that the reality is as magical as the picture in my mind.

another factor in our decision to travel by train rather than cruise ship is the fact that it may not be too many years before a trip as independent travelers negotiating the train stations and streets of unfamiliar european cities will be impossible for us.  when the infirmities of age necessitate seeking convenience rather than finding our way on our own, that will be the time for the river cruise!  so, it's time to start brushing up on german, checking out apartments, and making flight reservations.  we'd welcome advice from anyone who has any to offer.

what is it that makes travel like this so intriguing?  every time we travel we meet people like us, people with the same uncertainties and insecurities, people with a genuine desire to befriend strangers in a foreign environment, and a few (though precious few fortunately) who are eager to take advantage of others who are struggling to figure out how to get around in unfamiliar surroundings.  certainly the beautiful sights we try to capture in hundreds of pictures are part of the joy of traveling away from our comfort zone, but it is the ordinary people that make these trips worth taking.

my prayer today is that each of us looks at those most familiar to us with new eyes, as if meeting them for the first time, seeing that each person is a reflection of ourselves, deserving to be treated with kindness.  may we look past the petty irritations and see the inner person craving respect, love, and peace.  shalom.

The B-I-B-L-E

while reading someone's blog the other day (my apologies, but i don't remember the source), the writer commented that one of the reasons he rejected religion based on a "holy book," was the inconsistencies and factual errors of such books.  his reasoning, which i can't fault, was that if such a book is "divinely" inspired and supposed to be error-free, what does that say about the deity that is supposed to have "dictated" the book to its writers when the inspired book is filled with killing, racism, and mistakes.  this got me to thinking about the christian holy book--the bible.  the world is full of christian apologists who try to explain away its inconsistencies and defend it as literally true, but no thinking person who reads the bible could honestly believe that it is to be taken in that way.

so, what do we make of the bible?  many christians believe it to be the only basis for their faith.  others, like me, reject this notion.  we believe that the bible must be read critically in the light of the truth God gives us, a truth that comes not from a book that is obviously not free of error, but rather a truth that comes from the heart and mind.  are we to believe that God wanted the ancient Israelites to massacre the inhabitants of the "promised land," that God created the earth just as the bible describes (and which creation story is to be believed, since there is more than one in the bible), that God killed every person on earth except for noah and his family in a worldwide flood?  are we to believe that God came to earth in the person of jesus to be executed by the romans at the behest of jewish religious leaders?

is there truth in the bible?  i believe that there is.  the bible teaches of a God who loves what God has created (despite some parts that seem to teach the opposite), that God cares for creation, that God suffers with us, that we must turn from lives of selfish self-indulgence and care for one another and all of creation.  in this way, we embrace our true natures as creatures created in God's image.  could we reach such conclusions without the bible?  many have and continue to do so, some without subscribing to the existence of God at all but instead listen to their own hearts' needs to become compassionate towards their fellow creatures.

is it important that one accept that such needs are placed there by a creator God?  i think not.  the practice of compassion is what is important, the source of compassion not so much so.  my prayer today is that each of us will listen to that inner voice in our hearts and minds, a voice that prompts us to reach out to others with love, respect, and compassion whatever the source of that voice.

When Peace Like A River

the other day, i was reviewing some of the photos in my photo files and realized that i often take pictures of water.  i have pictures of fountains, streams, rivers, lakes, of all sorts of iterations of water.  as i pondered why i have such a fascination with water, particularly moving water, i thought of how i envision love as a stream that flows forever with God as its source.  love moves through all of creation, like a peaceful stream, and i see myself as both a recipient of love and a channel through which love can reach others.  perhaps this explains my fascination with water.  

the desktop picture on my main computer is a photo of a beautiful stream in northern vermont, that on my ipad is a photo taken by my son of a waterfall on an arkansas river not far from here, and on one of my laptops is a photo of a peaceful lake in salzburg.  each time i sit down at one of these i am reminded of water as a metaphor for never-ending love.  i hear the sound of the water lapping the shore, of the burbles of rivulets as they move, of the splashing of water against water, and i am at peace knowing that all of creation is awash in love.

my prayer today is that we are buoyed by the stream of love which flows in and around us and that we are conduits through which love is carried to others.  shalom.

Come My Way, My Truth, My Life

a few days ago, my wife and i went to a bible study led by one of our pastors.  the passage under consideration was john 14: 5-6, “Thomas said to him, ‘Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?’   Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  the group participating in the bible study was large, and our time was limited.  a few comments were made and questions asked, but i said little because of the time constraints.  the paragraphs below are what i wanted to say and later shared with the pastor who led the bible study.  she said that she had hoped that her teaching would lead us in this direction, but none of the other participants could see the passage except from our present-day christian viewpoint.

when jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except by (through) me," he may have been saying something far more complex than a surface reading of the text conveys.  seeing  jesus as the most influential of a group of jewish reformers that included his cousin john gives a different color to jesus' statement than viewing it from a modern christian perspective.  could jesus have been saying that his "way," in contrast to the "way" of the jewish religious elite was the "true way," while theirs was a "false way, that jesus' "way" gave the people their "life" back, while the "way" of the religious leadership robbed the people of their "life?"

the intricate rules of daily life which had once been essential to preserve the religious/ethnic identity of the jewish nation in captivity, lest they fall into assimilation with their captors or compromise their beliefs like the samaritans, had grown to become a religion of its own, rather than a means of preserving the essentials of the jewish religion.  in substituting these burdensome rules for the foundation of the law (love of God, love for your neighbor), the religion of the law and the prophets had been obscured, and jesus called the people back to remembrance of the simple truth, the "way," on which the jewish religion rested.  It is jesus' call to return to the basis of the jewish faith that attracts not only common people chafing under roman, herodian, and “jewish" rule, but also religious thinkers like nicodemus, joseph of arimethea, and the "rich young ruler."

john the evangelist has jesus returning again and again to the seat of power for this religious elite.  each time jesus returns the power struggle, as seen in the eyes of those “jews," intensifies, until at the end they see jesus as a profound threat to the power structure they have so carefully built, first by collaborating with herod the great and later by playing off the romans against the people the “jews" hope to continue to control through the demands they place on the people in the exercise of the religion, a religion which the people see as a powerful means of protest against the roman rule.

here is Jesus in the second temple that is the very symbol of collaboration with the false jew, herod, challenging the rule of these religious leaders, and the people increasingly see him not just as a religious reformer but as the promised one, the messiah, who will restore the religion and throw off the rule of the romans.  these powerful religionists must do something, or their control of the people will be compromised, their position will be jeopardized, their ability to act with some degree of freedom from the romans will be lost, and roman oppression will increase.  the something they must do is get rid of jesus, and they pursue this with a sense of urgency.

in this light, jesus' farewell discourse is both powerful and poignant, because he knows that it will be up to his inner circle of followers to continue in the "way" jesus has preached.  if they fail to continue his work, the reforms he has begun will be abandoned and the true religion will be lost in the struggle to maintain control that is at the heart of the religious leaders' lust for power.  so, jesus becomes a martyr so that his teaching can live on and its sphere of influence can be widened.

it is a mistake to see the teachings of jesus through our 21st-century christian eyes, but we must see them in the context in which they were spoken.  my prayer today is that we who call ourselves christians will not make jesus’ teachings something they were never intended to be, using his words to exclude others, to make ourselves as his followers a closed society that purports to have all the solutions to the struggles of life.  may we see how others who are not christians live out the teachings of jesus far better than those of us who call ourselves christians and love them for it.  shalom.