i haven't written much about riding my bike lately, probably because i don't get to ride every day as i did last summer. with my early morning practice schedule, it's been too hot most mornings to ride after i get home from practicing. when i have gotten to ride, as i did this morning, i've tried to simply enjoy the ride--no stories in my head, no planning or wrestling with decisions, just riding, breathing, looking, feeling. now, from time to time, i've caught myself drifting away from the ride and thinking about the day's activities that are ahead or some other out-of-the-moment distraction, but when that's happened, i've called myself back to the joy of the ride.
how often as i go through the day i find myself missing the experience of the never-to-return moment as i anticipate some future moment that may never come! when i realize that's happening, i'm trying to stop and say a silent "thank you" to God for the present moment and the activity in which i'm engaged, while pushing aside the mental distraction that keeps me from enjoying the present. today was an especially hectic day, and i raced through it, thinking constantly that i must finish the present activity so i have time to get on to the next one. now at the end of the day as i sit and write, i realize that my constant pushing to get to the future kept me from enjoying the day as i might have, and i'm grateful to have stopped to think about the acitivity of writing these words. finally, i've stopped long enough to relish the moment and the activity that fills it, a sensation i haven't experienced since my early morning bike ride that seems so long ago. (since my post won't publish until early tomorrow morning, the day i'm describing is "yesterday," obviously.)
as i looked back through last week's post, i realized that much of what i wrote last week was repeated in today's hectic schedule. like last week, i came to the end of the day, and everything was ok. i'm still working on learning the lesson of letting go of the need to control the day and master it. i'm getting better little by little at taking time to stop and reflect on how to go with the day so that future is not pressing down on me, keeping me from enjoying the present. instead of waiting until the end of the day to reflect, i'll try to pause throughout the next hectic day to remind myself that the day was given for my enjoyment, not for me to control.
my prayer for myself and for you is that we'll let go of stories about the future and relish the present, giving thanks for the opportunity to experience the here and now without anticipating a future that may never take place. shalom.