The Corners of My Mind

each time i pick up our local newspaper, one of the things i skim through is the obituary page.  i seldom know those whose deaths are recorded there, but i note the ages of each person when they died.  i am reminded of how near to their ages i am and how grateful i should be to be alive and to be healthy.  i am also reminded that death can come at any moment, regardless of age or seeming health.  each day is a gift that we cannot earn, no matter how well we take care of ourselves.  each of us should be grateful for that gift and vow to make the most of it.

i am close friends with a couple whose lives have been long, happy, and fruitful.  one member of this pair is 88, and the other is 92.  it is fascinating to hear them recount their experiences from their youth to the present.  i am amazed at their youthfulness, despite their advanced ages.  though they are almost twenty years older than i am, they seem as full of life and as healthy as my wife and i.  they take care of a large home with a full, finished basement, as well as a huge yard that fills at least an acre, with many trees, flower beds, and fences to trim around.  their yard is full of plantings that are well-maintained, and their home is always spotless.  part of their good health is the necessity of taking care of their home and yard, which includes frequent trips up and down the stairs from level of their home to the other.

last night, my wife and i watched a movie about a woman who was forced her to give up the home in which she and her husband had raised their two children because she was no longer able to care for it.  her home was filled with happy memories.  everywhere she looked, she was reminded of her husband who had died several years before and of family celebrations that had been high points in her life.  she fought mightily to stay in her home, but a series of events convinced her that she could no longer remain there.  after trying to live with her daughter and her daughter's family, she realized that the best choice for her was to move to a retirement home where she could make new friends and have assistance with the daily necessities of life.  the inspiring point of the movie was seeing her embrace the opportunity to move on to the next stage of her life, as she saw that she could no longer live the life her younger self had loved.

may we each acknowledge that life is a series of changes to which we must adapt.  may we accept the aging of our bodies and work to keep ourselves as healthy as we can.  may we keep our minds active and engaged as we grow older.  may we impart what wisdom we can to those who follow us.  shalom.

To Ever Be Sincere and True

we have returned from our trip, and i'm glad to begin writing again.  while it was nice to have a break, i missed creating a little post for each week.  my thoughts lately have been about what goes on in my mind and comes out of my mouth regarding other people.  it's easy to be critical but hard to think only of the good in others.  i suppose most of us see others' faults but we are not inclined to look for their virtues.  it has been my intention for the past several days to "think kindly of others, and not to become angry or think badly of others."  this is a phrase i have repeated to myself every morning for many months, but recently i have been trying to live out this intention more mindfully.

i tell myself that, when i fail in my intention, i can forgive myself and renew my resolve.  the mind has a natural bent toward seeing what is bad rather than looking for the good.  our psyches are programmed in this way, and it takes much reprogramming to turn from this natural impulse.  buddhism teaches that we can train our minds, and it is my hope that by making it a special intention each day that i can learn to see the good in others and refrain from criticising the bad.

we cannot discern why others act and think in certain ways.  we don't often have detailed knowledge of their past, of their upbringing, of the factors that made them as they are.  what we see as faults in others may be misunderstood.  a person who is brusque and seems rude may not be so intentionally.  when we get to know such a person quite well, we often find that what we perceive as rudeness is something very different.  they may have been forbidden from speaking openly and honestly as children and forced to hide their natural exuberance in a "children should be seen and not heard" sort of household, so their speech patterns are short and to the point, while underneath their manner of addressing others is a tender heart.  ours is not to judge but to accept, to look beyond what seems to be and to try and discern the underlying truth.

may we look kindly on others, even when it seems difficult.  may we not dwell on their faults, but seek out their virtues.  may we be accepting, even when it is easier to reject.  may we not build ourselves up by tearing down others.  may we love without condition.  shalom.

Out in the Highways and Byways of Life

i am traveling with my wife for the next two weeks, so i will not be posting to my blog.  during this time, may you be filled with happiness, peace, health, lovingkindness, and compassion.  shalom.