A Christmas Wish

 christmas day has just passed, and it was a wonderful day.  with all our family here for christmas weekend, i haven't had a chance to write, but i hope to write soon about what this time together has meant to me.  for now, may you be filled with lovingkindness and compassion, may you be well, may you peaceful and at ease, may you be happy.  shalom.

Why Can't We See How Blind We Can Be?

we humans can't seem to stop ourselves from trying to impose our will on others.  we seek to control others, to change them into what we think they ought to be.  think of all the wars that have been fought to achieve those ends, of the missionary movement that intended to make "good christians" out of those that were conquered and whose lands were made territories of western powers, of the suffering of those who were enslaved for the enrichment of their owners, of how colonial rulers exploited the people and resources of those who lived under their rule.

the western world, especially the uk, france, spain, belgium, the netherlands, and the usa, has caused suffering to untold millions to enrich itself, and we continue to take from those who have little so that we can have more.  in our churches we used to sing hymns like "onward, christian soldiers" and "we've a story to tell to the nations" with little thought of the cultural implications of their lyrics.  we believed, and many continue to believe, that christianity is superior to all other religions, that it is the only way that we can access God, the only way to "salvation."  

this way of thinking was brought home to me when i listened to a conversation between a friend and a waiter who was taking our lunch order.  this young man was the son of missionaries, and i was surprised when i learned that his parents had served in ireland.  what, i wondered, were christian missionaries doing in ireland, a country that was christianized a thousand years ago and where there are thousands of churches?  i wanted to ask if the irish weren't capable of evangelizing themselves, but i didn't, knowing that such a question would lead to an explanation about how "genuine" christianity was in decline there.  therefore, the irish needed help from americans who knew better than they how to "bring the lost to christ."

if we truly love others, we accept them as they are, rather than working to change them into what we want them to be.  we must let go of the arrogance that believes that "our way" is the best way and learn from the cultures and beliefs of others.  in this country, we are engaged in a struggle between those who would impose their narrow, close-minded philosophy on the rest of us and those who are convinced that the strength of america is in our diversity.  why should english be our national language when it was imported from another country by immigrants who took over the land from those who had lived here for centuries?  why should christianity become our established religion when our country came into being because of the desire to escape religious tyranny?

may we recognize that there is no one "right way."  may we accept others as they are and learn from them.  may we see the value of diversity and the great danger of insistence on homogeneity.  may we live in a country that is truly free, rather than one in which the will of those who believe they have all the answers is imposed on everyone.  may we learn that to love means letting go of the desire to control another.  shalom.

Where There Is Darkness, Only Light

i have been reading eckhart tolle's book "now," and find it challenging and thoughtful.  i am especially intrigued by the idea of the self as an observer of the mind.  i must agree with him that one's mind is not the same as one's "self."  our minds like to be in control of our actions and feelings, but the mind is often mistaken.  to be able to stand apart and challenge the directions the mind gives us can stop us from taking the wrong path.  it's important to allow ourselves to pause before acting, reacting, or speaking.  discovering the true "me" apart from the mind is a difficult but necessary task that takes constant vigilance, else we allow the mind to control us, causing us to act in ways that are contrary to our true selves.

i often find that when i meditate, thoughts about past actions that were wrong begin to appear, and i am overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and self-recrimination.  i am beginning to see that this is the mind trying to take me out of the present moment into the past.  this interruption of the peace of my meditation requires me to step back and see that i am not the person i was in the past, that what was done cannot be undone but as i live in the present i can see the errors in my past and stop myself from repeating them.  in this way, such thoughts are a good thing, so long as i don't allow the mind to dwell on those mistakes and the guilt arising from them.  i am learning to be grateful for the mind's reminders, despite its intrusion on my meditation, since there are lessons to be learned from the past.

as i learn to live more and more in the present, i find that life is easier.  there is a flow to life that wasn't there before.  little aggravations are not as irritating.  my stress level is much lower.  i sleep more soundly.  little everyday tasks that were once done mechanically and thoughtlessly are now important as i turn my attention to them entirely without allowing random thoughts about other matters to distract me.  i am surprised at how much i enjoy these routine tasks when i am present as i perform them.  they become events to be celebrated rather than endured.

i am more cognizant of the interconnectedness of all things.  the tiniest particle of matter is a manifestation of an intelligence that is a part of everything that is.  everything is immortal as one part of creation is transformed into part of something else.  we never die; we are only changed into something else when this life is at an end.  our physical bodies become food for new life, and in that metamorphosis we return to the intelligence that created us.  in the process we discover what becomes of the "me" that has watched our minds during our lives.  only at that point can we know what the meaning of eternity is.

may we spend our lives in self-discovery.  may we learn to control our minds, rather than allowing our minds to control us.  may we find the peace that comes from realizing that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.  may we learn true constancy, the evenminded calm that arises from gratitude for life's trials and accepts them as the gifts that they can be.  shalom.

When We Are Mirth-Giving

this morning i'm wondering about how people become the way they are.  we all know folks who are filled with optimism and exude a calmness and joy that give those around them confidence that things will be alright.  we know others who are like the character in the old "li'l abner" comic strip that walked around with a cloud over his head as rain constantly fell on him, people who seem to suck all the happiness from every situation and are purveyors of doom and gloom.  why are some of us happy while others are not?

i'm sure much of our psychological makeup has to do with our experiences as children.  if we grew up in a household with a parent who constantly criticized us and everyone else and who always saw the black side of the cloud, so to speak, we're more likely to carry on that morbid family tradition.  on the other hand, if we were encouraged and praised as children, we're more likely to be positive people when we're adults.  i'm happy to say that both our children are kind, optimistic adults who are problem solvers rather than naysayers, so we must have done something right in their rearing.

some people get knocked down constantly.  no matter how hard they try, life never seems to give them a break.  when that is your life experience, it's probably easy to finally give up and quit trying.  i think of those in difficult circumstances, like the many homeless in our country, who can't seem to break the cycle of hard knocks that has been their life story, or those born into poverty who are unable to escape the hand that life has dealt them.  we have this unrealistic belief as americans that everyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  we forget that most of those who are successful had successful families and were surrounded by those in similar situations throughout their lives.  the "great american success story" is the exception.  we have created a society that makes it difficult to escape the reality in which you are born and to pretend otherwise is to ignore reality.

yet, even those who seemed to be consigned to lives of want rather than lives of plenty are often the happiest and most optimistic people around.  they manage to find the good in situations that most of us would find daunting, if not impossible.  they see good in others and share what little they have with open hearts.  i suppose that happiness is, in many ways, a choice that we must make if we want to experience it.  we can dwell on our problems, rather than finding solutions, or we can look at life as an opportunity to improve bad situations for us and others.  it is up to us to decide which path we will follow.

may we choose happiness.  may we overcome adversity and negativity.  may we see opportunities rather than stumbling blocks.  shalom.