Deep Peace to You

this week i wanted to write about a christmas memory triggered by this year's celebration with my family.  circumstances prevent me from doing so, but i plan to write about this memory next week.  until then, may all of us find peace, compassion, lovingkindness, and good health in our lives and in the lives of those we love.  shalom.

The Hope and Fears of All the Years

though christmas is my favorite time of year, i feel apprehensive about our celebration this year.  i look forward to being with my wife and children at the home of our daughter and her husband, who live about seven hours away from us.  it has been nice not to have all the meal planning and preparation and all-out decorating that goes along with having our family christmas at our home.  we can relax and let our daughter and her husband take care of all that work.  we'll have a great time being together, opening our gifts, and having several days to talk about what's going on in our lives.  we'll have delicious food and will eat too much of it, most likely.

the concern comes for several reasons.  first, the spread of the new omicron covid variant threatens to exacerbate the cycle of isolation, infection, hospitalization, and death that we had hoped the vaccines would end.  so many people still refuse to become vaccinated and fail to take the necessary precautions to slow the rate of infection.  social activities that have resumed won't be curtailed, at least in our area of the country, and many will not wear masks.  the community choir of which i am a member will still present our annual performance of the christmas portion of messiah, which were interrupted last year because of the pandemic.  i am one of the two choir members who sings wearing a mask, and i am the only choir member who is socially distancing myself from the rest of the choir.  i fear that the audience will be so large that social distancing will be impossible for them, turning our two presentations of the music into super-spreader events.  i participate in these concerts with apprehension and question whether i should have participated at all.

this presentation of messiah has been stressful in other ways.  i serve as our choir's treasurer, which ordinarily would not be a difficult job.  my responsibilities are to account for the money that is donated by members of the community and to see that the professional musicians who make possible the choir's performances are paid.  this year, the president of the choir had to undergo major heart surgery just before our last rehearsal, and she did not survive the surgery.  we are heartbroken because of her death, which has cast a pall over this year's presentations.  the other officer/board member and i must take care of her duties as well as our own as we grieve her loss along with her family and others in the community.  more stress was created for me when the person who usually takes care of overseeing the preparation and printing of the programs was unable to do so, and those tasks became my responsibility at the last minute.

a few days ago, i found myself wishing that i had never agreed to serve as an officer of the choir or to sing in this year's performances.  i thought to myself that life would be much simpler if i remained a member of the choir whose only responsibilities were to show up for rehearsals and performances or if i had used the fear of infection as a reason to skip this year's presentation.  now that the first performance is done and i've heard the audience's appreciative comments, i realize that this is a holiday tradition that is important to many people.  i see that the duties i performed were necessary and that it was worthwhile for me to shoulder them so that others didn't have to.  in future years, it will be someone else's job to take care of the choir's finances and see that the programs are printed, but i should be grateful that i had the time and abilities to see that these jobs are done for now.

may we not allow the stress of seeing a job through to hide the end result from us.  may we accept our turn to shoulder responsibility, knowing that others will relieve us in the future.  may we know that today's tensions are not permanent, and accepting the feelings that go along with them as part of the fabric of life.  may we see the whole and not just the parts.  shalom.

Just to See Her Smile

this week i want to write about my gratitude for the wonderful wife with whom i have shared the past fifty-three years of marriage.  she and i met as freshmen in college, first attracted to each other by our mutual love of music.  we dated throughout our undergraduate years and married the summer after graduation.  we came from very different backgrounds but over the years we've learned to appreciate both the differences and similarities in our upbringing.  

during our early years of marriage, we disagreed about many things.  there were times when we went for days without speaking to one another.  as time passed, we realized that our love for one another was stronger than the need for each of us to be in control.  we found ways to compromise and learned to put our selfish desires aside in favor of understanding one another's needs.  we came to view ourselves as equal partners, neither believing that one had to control the other.  

my wife made many sacrifices so that i could pursue my career.  when we concluded together that i needed to pursue a master's degree, followed by a doctorate, she gave up her job and moved with me so that i could enter a doctoral program in another state.  we sold our home and lived in a typical married students' apartment while i completed by year of residency.  by the time i completed my course work, the job market had dried up, and we were forced to take whatever jobs we could find.  we worked together to make ends meet and provide for ourselves and our young daughter until i finally landed a good teaching job, forcing us to move yet again.  through it all, my wife supported my endeavors and worked with me as our standard of living gradually improved.

our son came along, and we enjoyed our nice middle-class lives in jobs we both found rewarding.  unexpectedly, the administration of my school district changed, and the new superintendent was less supportive of the fine arts program in which i worked than our previous leader had been.  suddenly, i found myself out of a job, and we were forced to move once more so i could continue my teaching career.  my wife never complained.  she gave up her job and took another job which she hated.  yet, she gritted her teeth and made our lives together work while she pursued a masters degree and found another job that was more satisfying.

as we continued our lives, our financial situation improved.  we were able to pay for both our children to complete their bachelor's degrees and to build up reserves to support us in our retirement years.  through it all, we drew closer to one another, realizing that we were not only spouses but best friends.  we suffered through the deaths of our parents, seeing in those losses the need for us to relish each moment that remained to us.  in our twilight years, we find that we enjoy being together now more than ever.  my wife encourages me to pursue activities that i enjoy, even when those activities don't interest her, just as i encourage her in her active social life.  our mutual interests--travel, dining out, spending time with other couples who are our friends, watching movies--are rewarding and draw us closer together with each passing day.  neither of us can imagine life without the other, even while we recognize that some day that may become a reality.

i am grateful that we've had a long and happy life together.  i am grateful for my wife's consistent encouragement of and support for me no matter the circumstances.  i am grateful for the two wonderful children we've raised.  i am grateful that we've learned to work together and that each of us loves the other as we love ourselves.

may we all find such happiness in our relationships.  may we recognize the benefits of loving long and deeply.  may we let go of the selfish need to control and think instead of the needs of others.  may we relish the days we have, knowing how precious each of them is.  shalom.

Love Incarnate

we have known and believe the love that God has for us.  God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. . . the commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.  1 john 4: 16, 21

a few weeks ago, my wife and i met some relatives in northern kentucky to tour the ark encounter.  as we approached the ark, we were amazed by its enormity.  it is, according to the official brochure, the largest freestanding timber frame structure in the world.  during our tour of the various levels of displays, i began to wonder what important lessons could be learned from the story of noah and the ark.  one is that God can use flawed people like noah to accomplish great things.  another is that it is our responsibility to see that God's work of creation is preserved, rather than exploiting it for our own wealth and comfort.

as christmas approaches, i think about the messages contained in the christmas stories in matthew's and luke's gospels.  like the residents of bethlehem that mary and joseph encountered, do we turn a blind eye to the countless homeless around us?  should we be proclaiming God's message of peace and good will to a warring, intolerant world just as the heavenly host proclaimed that message to the poorest of the poor, the "shepherds abiding in the field keeping watch over their flock by night?"  we watch as millions are forced to flee their homes to live in strange lands and are reminded of the flight of joseph, mary, and the infant jesus to egypt to escape a tyrant in their own homeland.

each christmas we are called to remember that the birth of a child to a young woman accompanied by an impoverished carpenter in a manger in a small village in an obscure backwater of the vast roman empire was the turning point of history.  the message of christmas didn't occur in the roman seat of power.  the proclamation of peace and good will didn't come to the wealthy living in opulence.  God uses the humblest of vessels to contain the most profound truths, and christmas calls on us to examine the seemingly unimportant to discover what God may have in store for us, calling on us to remember that, as christina rosetti wrote in 1865, love came down at christmas,/love all lovely, love divine;/love was born at christmas;/star and angels gave the sign.  love shall be our token;/love be yours and love be mine;/love to God and others,/love for plea and gift and sign.  shalom.