A Christmas Wish

 christmas day has just passed, and it was a wonderful day.  with all our family here for christmas weekend, i haven't had a chance to write, but i hope to write soon about what this time together has meant to me.  for now, may you be filled with lovingkindness and compassion, may you be well, may you peaceful and at ease, may you be happy.  shalom.

Why Can't We See How Blind We Can Be?

we humans can't seem to stop ourselves from trying to impose our will on others.  we seek to control others, to change them into what we think they ought to be.  think of all the wars that have been fought to achieve those ends, of the missionary movement that intended to make "good christians" out of those that were conquered and whose lands were made territories of western powers, of the suffering of those who were enslaved for the enrichment of their owners, of how colonial rulers exploited the people and resources of those who lived under their rule.

the western world, especially the uk, france, spain, belgium, the netherlands, and the usa, has caused suffering to untold millions to enrich itself, and we continue to take from those who have little so that we can have more.  in our churches we used to sing hymns like "onward, christian soldiers" and "we've a story to tell to the nations" with little thought of the cultural implications of their lyrics.  we believed, and many continue to believe, that christianity is superior to all other religions, that it is the only way that we can access God, the only way to "salvation."  

this way of thinking was brought home to me when i listened to a conversation between a friend and a waiter who was taking our lunch order.  this young man was the son of missionaries, and i was surprised when i learned that his parents had served in ireland.  what, i wondered, were christian missionaries doing in ireland, a country that was christianized a thousand years ago and where there are thousands of churches?  i wanted to ask if the irish weren't capable of evangelizing themselves, but i didn't, knowing that such a question would lead to an explanation about how "genuine" christianity was in decline there.  therefore, the irish needed help from americans who knew better than they how to "bring the lost to christ."

if we truly love others, we accept them as they are, rather than working to change them into what we want them to be.  we must let go of the arrogance that believes that "our way" is the best way and learn from the cultures and beliefs of others.  in this country, we are engaged in a struggle between those who would impose their narrow, close-minded philosophy on the rest of us and those who are convinced that the strength of america is in our diversity.  why should english be our national language when it was imported from another country by immigrants who took over the land from those who had lived here for centuries?  why should christianity become our established religion when our country came into being because of the desire to escape religious tyranny?

may we recognize that there is no one "right way."  may we accept others as they are and learn from them.  may we see the value of diversity and the great danger of insistence on homogeneity.  may we live in a country that is truly free, rather than one in which the will of those who believe they have all the answers is imposed on everyone.  may we learn that to love means letting go of the desire to control another.  shalom.

Where There Is Darkness, Only Light

i have been reading eckhart tolle's book "now," and find it challenging and thoughtful.  i am especially intrigued by the idea of the self as an observer of the mind.  i must agree with him that one's mind is not the same as one's "self."  our minds like to be in control of our actions and feelings, but the mind is often mistaken.  to be able to stand apart and challenge the directions the mind gives us can stop us from taking the wrong path.  it's important to allow ourselves to pause before acting, reacting, or speaking.  discovering the true "me" apart from the mind is a difficult but necessary task that takes constant vigilance, else we allow the mind to control us, causing us to act in ways that are contrary to our true selves.

i often find that when i meditate, thoughts about past actions that were wrong begin to appear, and i am overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and self-recrimination.  i am beginning to see that this is the mind trying to take me out of the present moment into the past.  this interruption of the peace of my meditation requires me to step back and see that i am not the person i was in the past, that what was done cannot be undone but as i live in the present i can see the errors in my past and stop myself from repeating them.  in this way, such thoughts are a good thing, so long as i don't allow the mind to dwell on those mistakes and the guilt arising from them.  i am learning to be grateful for the mind's reminders, despite its intrusion on my meditation, since there are lessons to be learned from the past.

as i learn to live more and more in the present, i find that life is easier.  there is a flow to life that wasn't there before.  little aggravations are not as irritating.  my stress level is much lower.  i sleep more soundly.  little everyday tasks that were once done mechanically and thoughtlessly are now important as i turn my attention to them entirely without allowing random thoughts about other matters to distract me.  i am surprised at how much i enjoy these routine tasks when i am present as i perform them.  they become events to be celebrated rather than endured.

i am more cognizant of the interconnectedness of all things.  the tiniest particle of matter is a manifestation of an intelligence that is a part of everything that is.  everything is immortal as one part of creation is transformed into part of something else.  we never die; we are only changed into something else when this life is at an end.  our physical bodies become food for new life, and in that metamorphosis we return to the intelligence that created us.  in the process we discover what becomes of the "me" that has watched our minds during our lives.  only at that point can we know what the meaning of eternity is.

may we spend our lives in self-discovery.  may we learn to control our minds, rather than allowing our minds to control us.  may we find the peace that comes from realizing that we are part of something bigger than ourselves.  may we learn true constancy, the evenminded calm that arises from gratitude for life's trials and accepts them as the gifts that they can be.  shalom.

When We Are Mirth-Giving

this morning i'm wondering about how people become the way they are.  we all know folks who are filled with optimism and exude a calmness and joy that give those around them confidence that things will be alright.  we know others who are like the character in the old "li'l abner" comic strip that walked around with a cloud over his head as rain constantly fell on him, people who seem to suck all the happiness from every situation and are purveyors of doom and gloom.  why are some of us happy while others are not?

i'm sure much of our psychological makeup has to do with our experiences as children.  if we grew up in a household with a parent who constantly criticized us and everyone else and who always saw the black side of the cloud, so to speak, we're more likely to carry on that morbid family tradition.  on the other hand, if we were encouraged and praised as children, we're more likely to be positive people when we're adults.  i'm happy to say that both our children are kind, optimistic adults who are problem solvers rather than naysayers, so we must have done something right in their rearing.

some people get knocked down constantly.  no matter how hard they try, life never seems to give them a break.  when that is your life experience, it's probably easy to finally give up and quit trying.  i think of those in difficult circumstances, like the many homeless in our country, who can't seem to break the cycle of hard knocks that has been their life story, or those born into poverty who are unable to escape the hand that life has dealt them.  we have this unrealistic belief as americans that everyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  we forget that most of those who are successful had successful families and were surrounded by those in similar situations throughout their lives.  the "great american success story" is the exception.  we have created a society that makes it difficult to escape the reality in which you are born and to pretend otherwise is to ignore reality.

yet, even those who seemed to be consigned to lives of want rather than lives of plenty are often the happiest and most optimistic people around.  they manage to find the good in situations that most of us would find daunting, if not impossible.  they see good in others and share what little they have with open hearts.  i suppose that happiness is, in many ways, a choice that we must make if we want to experience it.  we can dwell on our problems, rather than finding solutions, or we can look at life as an opportunity to improve bad situations for us and others.  it is up to us to decide which path we will follow.

may we choose happiness.  may we overcome adversity and negativity.  may we see opportunities rather than stumbling blocks.  shalom.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

in the usa, thanksgiving day has just passed.  christmas is around the corner.  for christians, the season of advent has begun.  in our home, images of that bearded gift-giver we call santa claus abound, along with several manger scenes with the baby jesus at their center.  there are lighted ceramic trees and a four-foot-tall tabletop christmas tree, as yet undecorated.  there are snowmen and various figures that are celebrating christmas, such as our set of carolers from the peanuts cartoon series.  there are angels and gnomes.  it is a feast of color and light.

each morning i walk through the house while it is still and dark outside, turning on the celebratory lights that are not automatically turned on by timers.  when night falls, lighted trees, garlands, wreaths, and a santa claus come on outside in the front and rear of our house, as their timers do their jobs.  it is the season i love most each year, that time before all the family gathers, and the traditional christmas dinner is eaten, and gifts are exchanged.  it is a time of anticipation of the festivities that are to come, of rehearsing the familiar tunes and words associated with christmas, of watching movies that capture the magic of the season.

i remember the magic of anticipation from my childhood:  looking forward to seeing what santa brought me and my siblings on christmas morning, going with my dad out to the forest to find a tree, thinking about the fun i'll have with my cousins when we go to my grandparents' house for dinner on christmas afternoon.  the smells of that delicious food and the taste of my mother's special cookies and candies that only appeared during the season leading up to christmas day are still fresh in my memory.  we have continued the tradition of my mother's tea cake recipe in our household.  those short bread cookies take most of a day to make, as the thick dough is mixed, then rolled out and cut into festive shapes, and carefully baked so that they are just the right combination of tenderness and crispness, not too doughy but not too hard.  at the end of the day, about seven dozen of these wonderful treats are stored in cookie jars, even after our sampling of the first batch after it's cooled on wire racks.

i love everything about christmas and the days that precede it.  the hard work of dragging all the decorations out, unpacking them, and arranging them in our home is worth all the effort.  our home never looks more beautiful than it does at christmas time.  we've even talked about finding a larger tree to decorate this year, and i'm excited about that prospect.  now most of the gifts are wrapped, except a few that are on order but that haven't arrived, and we can begin to relax and enjoy the prospect of spending happy times with our children and their partners.

may we carry the spirit of christmas with us throughout the year.  may we recall the magic of christmas that surrounded and filled us as children.  may christmas be a time of good will, peace, tolerance, patience, and joy, even for those who don't subscribe to the "jesus is the reason for the season" philosophy.  may we remember that christmas is the time for giving and gratefully receiving, not for condemning those who don't agree with us.  shalom. 

God Reveal Your Presence

this past week, i was reminded of how covid continues to cause problems.  three close relatives--a father, his wife, and their middle-aged son who lives with them--were all infected.  the two parents are in their late seventies, and both suffer from breathing problems.  fortunately, all three began taking oral anti-virals that their doctors prescribed for them immediately after testing positive.  the mother, who was the first to exhibit symptoms, was better by the day after she began taking the medication.  

what struck me was the difference in the reactions my wife and i had to the effects of the medicine compared to the reaction of our relative's daughter.  the daughter attributed her mother's quick improvement to the prayers she had been offering on her mother's behalf.  for her, God's intervention in her mother's illness was responsible.  for my wife and i, the credit belonged to the medication and those who developed it and prescribed it, as well as our relative's wisdom in seeking medical help immediately.  as i thought about the daughter's response to her mother's improvement, i wondered why she thought her mother caught the virus in the first place.  if the improvement in her mother's condition was an answer to prayer, why didn't the god who caused the improvement simply prevent her from catching covid in the first place?  why were her prayers effective, while the prayers of some others whose loved ones died from covid despite their earnest prayers were not?  better yet, why did that god allow covid to come into existence and cause so much suffering?

i was disturbed that a college-educated young woman would attribute the difficult work of understanding this virus, developing vaccines against it, and treatments for it to a supernatural being rather than giving credit to the scientists and physicians who have worked so diligently to alleviate the suffering covid causes.  this same woman refused to take the vaccines, nor did she encourage her minor children to get vaccinated, even after her husband had a serious covid infection early in the pandemic.  surprisingly, the husband took the vaccine after he recovered, though none of the rest of his family was ever vaccinated.

such refusal to recognize the value of human beings in combating the ills that arise in the natural world while placing one's complete faith in the supernatural is a great puzzle to me.  i cannot place my faith in a god who allows such suffering nor give that god credit when the suffering is alleviated.  we must take responsibility for our own lives and work to make the world a better place.  this is what the God i believe in created us to do.  there may be an element of faith in God and gratitude to God when new discoveries are made or when illnesses are healed, but that faith and gratitude arise because we do the necessary work ourselves, not because God does it for us.

may we be grateful to those who labor on our behalf.  may we use our minds to make life better for ourselves and others.  may we not place our faith in prayers but rather in the scientists and healthcare providers who treat our ills.  may we believe in a God who is present for us all the time--before, during, and after our travails--if we believe in a God at all.  shalom.

May Truth and Freedom Come to Every Nation

i've spent much of the last few days watching the election results from the midterm elections.  it appears that, for the most part, voters voted responsibly.  many of the candidates who repeated lies about the past presidential election and who advocated for laws to make it more difficult for americans to cast their ballots in the future were defeated.  the predicted "red wave" of republican victories did not materialize, and an almost equally divided house and senate appear to be in the making when the new congress begins to meet in january 2023.  republicans may ultimately have a small majority in the house of representatives, but it will be difficult for them to accomplish anything without some democratic support because their majority will be so small.  if the democrats prevail, which is still a possibility, they will be in the same position, needing some republican support to enact legislation.  perhaps this is a good thing, because it will force representatives to work across the aisle to secure some support from the opposing party, and bills enacted will result from compromises between the two parties.  this willingness to compromise has been lacking for many years.  often the best policies are those resulting from the democrats and republicans meeting in the middle.

one unfortunate outcome of the election was the success of ron johnson of wisconsin being re-elected to the senate.  johnson is an acolyte of donald trump who tried to assist in trump's phony elector scheme on january 6 and who has consistently spouted lies about the election and other matters, such as how to best address the covid pandemic.  the country would be better off had he been defeated by his democratic opponent, but a majority of voters in wisconsin felt otherwise.  his victory was offset by the republican loss in neighboring pennsylvania, where the liberal democrat, john fetterman, was victorious in defeating a trump-endorsed candidate, mehmet oz.  now there will be a small democratic majority in the senate, owing to mr. fetterman's success in pennsylvania and the victory of mrs. cortez masto in nevada.  if senator warnock prevails in the georgia senate runoff, democrats will have a majority, even without the tie-breaking vote of vice-president harris.

the mid-term elections were not favorable to trump's candidates, and many in his own party are now blaming him for their poor showing in the election.  as the retiring senator from pennsylvania, pat toomey, said after the election, leaders of the republican party should have foreseen the dangers of their continued loyalty to trump and fielded better candidates who focused on policy issues that are of concern to the electorate rather than repeating the election lies of a failed presidential candidate.  larry hogan, the outgoing republican governor of maryland, echoed mr. toomey and called trump a three-time loser in national elections.  perhaps the results of this election will finally turn the page on trump's influence in the republican party and in the nation.

may we give thanks for the wisdom of voters who refused to be taken in by the lies of a failed presidential candidate.  may we work together to find solutions to the problems we face as a nation, rather than wasting energy in futile partisan battles.  may those we elect look to the ideals on which the country was founded and abandon the desire to cling to power at all costs.  may we find strength in our diversity, and may we have compassion for one another.  shalom.

The Country Where My Heart Is

as we head into the midterm elections, most of the prognosticators are predicting defeat for the democrats, citing voter concerns about inflation as the primary reason republicans are favored to win majorities in the house and senate.  there are many like me who are more fearful of the threats to our democracy than of short-term harm to our pocketbooks.  we hear most republican candidates repeat the former president's lies about voter fraud and stolen elections.  many of the republicans running for state offices will be in control of the electoral apparatus in their states and can do grave harm to fair elections if they are victorious.  for instance, one of the local candidates in my state house district is advocating doing away with voting machines and returning to hand counts of ballots, a process that has been proven to be much more inaccurate than machine tallies.

the constant repetition of lies about the last election seems to have inured many voters to the dangers that such lies pose.  the thought of electing those who spout these untruths into office is repugnant, and i hope that voters will realize that the preservation of democracy and reliance on fact, not oft-repeated lies, is more important than a temporary rise in the cost of groceries.  electing responsible candidates who are more interested in the well-being of the country than in gaining power is our only hope.  we must not place those who are minions of donald trump in elected positions when we go to vote.

may we vote with our minds, not our emotions.  may we carefully consider what is best for the country as a whole.  may we not seek to punish the members of the party in power for an economic situation over which they have little control.  may those we elect seek to work together for the betterment of the nation, rather than for the preservation of their own power, regardless of party affiliation.  may we vote to preserve democracy and to counter those who are willing to destroy it for their own short-term gain.  shalom.

A New Dimension in the World of Sound

a few days ago, i started a classical music youtube video on the tv system in our living room.  my wife was resting in her recliner after completing a series of exercises for her knee, as i left the room to do a few chores around the house.  when i returned, i found her weeping.  i thought that she was in pain and asked if she needed some medication.  she replied through her tears that the music was so beautiful and reminded her of our frequent access to wonderful music in the town we had moved from.  there we had a symphony orchestra, a college that offered frequent free musical programs, and a church that supported lovely music in its services.  in our new home, there is little interest in good music.  only one of the churches in town consistently employs good music in its services, and it has a tiny choir that cannot sing the great choral music that we love.  in most years, the only classical musical presentation is our community chorus's annual performance of the christmas portion of messiah, though last year we did add a spring concert of good choral music.

the school district here has an excellent music program, with fine choirs at the high school level.  the leaders of the music program do not seem interested in providing leadership in the town outside their teaching responsibilities.  it doesn't appear that they encourage their students to sing in the community or church choirs, nor are they active in bringing good music to the local churches, where so-called "praise music" is the mainstay of what congregations hear and sing.  i wonder why there is this disconnect between what students sing at school and music in the "real world" of community life.  like my wife, i long to hear music that nourishes both my heart and mind, music that challenges me to pay attention and listen carefully, but it seems the only way to access such music is through listening to recordings, which, though wonderful, are no substitute for live performances by fine musicians or by traveling seventy miles to a larger city that supports good civic musical organizations.

for both my wife and i, listening to good music is as important as eating and breathing.  without it, life is not worth the living.  it puzzles us that others don't have this same yearning for music that nourishes the heart and mind.  hearing second-rate music is painful to us.  we cannot abide listening to it and cannot support institutions that promote its performance.  great music is as essential to a free society as great literature, drama, and visual arts.  the glorification of mindless commercial music is part of the overall "dumbing down" of our culture that results in a populace that is willing to believe and support the lies that are foisted on us by donald trump and his ilk.  

may we do what we can to promote those things that are noble and intelligent.  may we use our minds to discern good from bad, excellent from mediocre, mindfulness from mindlessness.  may we nourish our souls with beauty.  may we love and care for that which makes us better people.  shalom.

Life's Really Worth Living

as we age, many changes occur, not only in our bodies but also in our lifestyles and relationships with others.  i think of my wife's mother.  she went from living outside of town on a farm of eighty acres to a house on a typical lot in the city.  next she gave up her house and moved into a small guest house in our backyard.  at the insistence of her eldest daughter, she left her little house on our property and moved into a shared room in a nursing home, a room not really big enough for one person, much less two.  there she lived until she broke her hip and died recovering from surgery in the hospital.  her world became progressively smaller through the passing years.  her story is not an unusual one.

my father's life was somewhat the same.  after my mother died, he lived in their home on a large one-acre lot in town until he remarried and moved out in the country to his new wife's home.  when she was afflicted with dementia, they moved into a small apartment in an assisted living facility several hundred miles away from her home.  this move was made because her children wanted her to be near them in the neighboring state where they lived.  his world had become smaller, like that of my mother-in-law.

we see this pattern repeated in the lives of many people as they age.  i often think how much simpler life would be for my wife and i if we didn't have a good-sized house and yard to care for.  then i look around at the many things around me that remind me of places we have traveled or that connect us to our parents and grandparents.  many of these things would have to be given up if we down-sized.  life might be easier if we made our surroundings smaller, but would life be as rich and happy?  i know that if my wife were to die, i wouldn't be able to care for our home on my own.  i wonder what i would do under those circumstances.  she has said repeatedly that she wouldn't be able to manage without me, and i suspect the same would be true for me.  at that point, whichever of us survives would be forced to make some difficult choices, just as our parents did.

old age often forces us to give up control over our lives and makes us dependent on others.  sometimes it is our children or other relatives on whom we must rely, sometimes it is the staff in a facility for older people.  we struggle to maintain our independence for as long as we can, but, in the end, we frequently return to the state in which we came into the world as we rely on others to take care of us.  in this way, there is an arc to life.  we enter life as infants who must be fed and clothed by others, and many of us leave this life being fed and dressed by others.

may we live life to the fullest regardless of our circumstances.  may we be grateful to those who help us as continue down the path.  may we not become bitter when we are no longer able to live independently in our own homes and must rely on the kindness of others.  may we look back on lives well lived and rejoice in the happiness we have experienced.  shalom.

Nobody Else Can Walk It for Us

twenty-seven years ago my mother passed away from pancreatic cancer.  she had been diagnosed only a few months earlier, and her death just after her 77th birthday was a blow to my dad, my brother and sister, and me.  it never occurred to me how difficult it was for my dad to care for her during the last few months of her life.  he lived in the small community where we three siblings had grown up, and none of us lived within easy driving distance of their home.  my sister and i were still working, and my brother lived six hours away.  until my wife had her recent knee surgery, i had never thought of what it must have been like for my dad as her care, in addition to the many tasks involved with keeping a home running, became his responsibility.  now i begin to see how difficult it must have been for him, as he watched her slowly dying.

each night i fall into bed exhausted.  i am happy that i can care for my wife during her convalescence, and i know that she is grateful for all that i do for her.  my dad must have felt much the same way as i do each evening, but he had the added sadness of knowing that my mother would never recover, that her death was only a matter of weeks away.  as i reflect on my realization of what life must have been like for my dad during those last months of my mother's life, i am reminded that we can't truly know what others experience until we walk in their shoes.  each day, i think, "if only i had known then what i know now, i would have been a bigger help to my dad."  one day, our children will say the same thing to themselves as they reflect back on the lives of their elderly parents.  this is the way life is: we must experience suffering firsthand before we understand what it is like for others.

each generation finds its own way.  the longer i live, the more convinced i am that there is more to what happens after our death than a simple passing into heavenly bliss if we have believed the "right" things when we die.  one can't get life right in just one lifetime.  we must live many lifetimes in order to make the progress necessary to live a good life.  with each passing incarnation, we come to see the right path more clearly until we have a perfect understanding of what it means to be fully human.  maybe i'm wrong, and we simply cease to exist except in the memories of others when we die, but i can't accept the christian idea of "heaven" or hell that follows the end of our lives.  i suppose it doesn't really matter which is true--reincarnation, heaven/hell, or nothingness.  we do the best we can while we live and the end will reveal itself in time.

may we understand our common experiences, seeing the truth of others' lives through our own lens.  may we forgive the shortcomings of others as realize they can't comprehend what they haven't experienced, just as we forgive our younger selves.  may we live each moment as if it is our last, doing as much good as we can.  shalom.

What's Too Painful to Remember

a few mornings ago, i was thinking about how often memories of the past come up as i meditate.  most often, these are not pleasant memories but those which fill me with regret and guilt.  at those times, i work on forgiving myself, but that doesn't seem to be the full answer.  as i drove on an errand, i was listening to bbc world service.  the program was about this very topic.  a british man had raised the question of why, now that he is older, he is often racked with guilt over past actions and how he can work past his regret and shame over what cannot be undone.  the adviser who was responding to his questions used the analogy of a young child's behavior, perhaps that of the questioner's own son or daughter.  she asked the man if he would blame his son if he made an error in judgement, like telling a lie or forgetting to do something.  his response was that he would not hold the child's mistake against him, since the child was learning what was right and wrong.

the adviser went on to ask the man if he was the same man as his younger self who had made regrettable errors.  the man responded that he was not, that he now understood how his actions affected others and acted with more compassion.  as he spoke, i realized that, like this man on the radio, i am not my younger self.  i was in the process of learning to be a better person and along the way i didn't always appreciate the consequences of my actions.  just as i can now joke about the scratches our young son put on our car in the carport as he zoomed past  riding his toy car, i can see myself in the same light.  as i sped through my younger life, i caused some scratches, dings, and hurts because i didn't know any better.  i was still focused on my own life and didn't see how my decisions could harm others.

the other day a friend was lamenting about one of her children who never came to see her and didn't seem to realize that she was not getting any younger.  as we talked, i told her that when my parents were aging, i still saw them as the young couple they had been when i was a child.  in my eyes, they were still the same, despite the accumulated years.  i saw them as self-sufficient and able to continue with the household duties and repairs they had been so proficient at taking care of when i was a child.  now that i am older, i see that they could have used more help from me.  i never thought about how difficult it was for my father to take care of his large yard when he was in his 70s and 80s.  as i approach my eightieth year, i know how much of a struggle it was for him, especially after my mother died, to take care of the house inside and the yard outside.  i know this because i know how hard it is for me, even with the help of my wife and despite enjoying the many jobs that owning a home entails.

may we acknowledge that we are not our younger selves.  may we see that the wisdom we possess because of our life experiences was not available to us in the past.  may we be grateful for what we have learned over the years and rejoice by living in the present, rather than dwelling on the past.  may we be able to laugh at the person we used to be, just as we are able to laugh at the exuberant mishaps of our children.  may we be aware that every person looks back on what they were with some regrets, that we share this common bond.  shalom. 

For Home, Where Our Affection Clings

now that my wife has had her knee replacement surgery, i have the responsibility of caring for her at home.  she can walk short distances with the assistance of a walker, but she requires help getting back into the bed.  she has to keep ice packs on her knee to control swelling, and these need to be changed fairly frequently.  the packs that came home with us from the hospital, leak as the ice melts.  this forces my wife to awaken me several times during the night to change out the packs and work on them to stop further leakage.  i have to make certain that she takes her medications and that there is food prepared for both of us.  right now, i am exhausted and wondering if i can continue providing the care she needs.

as i reflected on my fatigue and felt sorry for both her and myself, i remembered my frequent bouts of earache as a child.  i would awaken in the night to excruciating pain in my ears, crying out for help from my mother.  she was always attentive and did what she could to ease my pain.  it never occurred to me then that my mother was worn out after one of my all-night battles with pain.  yet, she never complained, even though she had to carry on the next day as if she had a good night's sleep.  

i thought, too, of my mother-in-law, who fell from a ladder and broke her hip in her mid-40s.  my wife has told me that her mother somehow continued with her work of preparing meals for her family, hobbling around in the kitchen with the aid of a walker.  there was no physical therapy, nor anyone waiting on her as she recuperated.  her children and husband never heard a word of complaint or resentment.  she did what she thought had to be done, as she suffered in silence.

i understand how these selfless women must have felt, as they cared for their families.  i'm sure they asked themselves why life had to be as it was, but they never indulged in self-pity or bitterness.  they carried on as best they could, knowing that their families were taken care of, even when their children and husband never expressed any gratitude for what they endured.  when i begin to feel sorry for myself as i meet my wife's needs as best i can, i think of my mother and my mother-in-law and pray that i can show the kind of compassion and love they showed their families.

may we rejoice in what we are given, even when it is not what we would have chosen.  may we do what we can to ease the pain that others feel, trying to make their lives better in any way we can.  may we remember that compassion doesn't exist in the place of resentment, but enables us to care for others even when we resent our lot.  may our love for others be as strong as love for ourselves.  shalom.

When We Are Strong

life has been hectic in our household for the past two weeks.  my wife's sister and her husband were here visiting the first of those weeks.  we loved being with them, since we only see them once a year.  it was a very active week, going out of town on various activities each day.  by the end of the week, we were exhausted.  we took one day to rest and then launched into the week that has just passed.  during that week, we worked on thoroughly cleaning our house, i assembled a new exercise bike that my wife needs to recuperate from her upcoming knee surgery, i mowed the yard, we traveled about 200 miles round-trip for a couple of doctor appointments, and my wife honored three commitments to play bridge.  by the end of that week, we were again exhausted.

this week my wife has her knee surgery.  we are told that her recovery will be slow and painful, but worth it in the end because she will have so much more agility and an end to the constant knee pain she has endured in that knee.  in about three months, she will have the other knee operated on, and the cycle of recovery will begin again.  i joke with her that she will have bionic knees at the end of all this.  she is worried that having to care for her will be too difficult for me, but i look forward to her being able to be more active and pain-free.  i know that the outcome will be worth the effort involved for both of us.

we can tell that we are aging.  we can't take being on the go in stride as we used to.  we have to stop and rest more frequently.  we fall into bed exhausted.  we are grateful that our bodies allow us to do all that we do.  we see so many people who are younger than us who are forced to use mobility chairs to get around and who have had to give up many activities because of physical limitations.  our bodies are amazing creations.  how many things are there that can take the physical punishment that our bodies take and still continue to function?  our bodies often mend themselves, sometimes with medical intervention, and we take them for granted.  as we sense the aging of our bodies, we marvel at all they do for us.  the very fact that we are mobile and still able to perform the responsibilities of our lives is wonderful.  the opportunity my wife has to replace worn-out knee joints with new ones is something that would have been impossible not so many years ago.

may we rejoice in our continued ability to care for ourselves, our homes, and others.  may we be filled with gratitude that we are human, despite the increasing limitations of old age.  may we care for our bodies as best we can.  may we remember that continuing to be mobile requires us to use our bodies and, at times, to push through discomfort.  may we see each new day as a blessing.  shalom.

Help Us From All Bondage Flee

this past week we learned that the governor of florida had arranged for a group of asylum seekers who had come to our country from venezuela to be flown from texas to massachusetts.  mr. desantis, the florida politician, proclaimed loudly that his intent was to guarantee that such people did not come to his state.  he and his supporters thought it amusing that he had demonstrated what they see as the sham of sanctuary proclamations by cities and states that welcome immigrants, whether documented or undocumented, and promise to care for them and help them become part of american society.

using people who are fleeing deplorable conditions in their own countries to seek protection in this country to score political points is unconscionable.  such tactics and the rhetoric which accompanies them demonstrate the callousness of the anti-immigrant movement.  for them, immigrants are political pawns, rather than people.  they cast those who seek our protection as our enemies, when we know that the vast majority of immigrants want to help our country and add to its prosperity.  as one massachusetts politician said, the economy of his region depends on immigrants who are willing to take jobs that would otherwise go unfilled.  for the most part, those who seek refuge are eager to work, even when the only jobs available are menial ones that pay little.  time and again, we've seen these immigrants who are willing to start at the bottom of the economic ladder climb to prosperous lives through hard work and determination.  we should be applauding and assisting such people rather than using them for political purposes by calling them  enemies of the american people.

may we remember that we are a country of immigrants who descended from those who came here seeking a better life for themselves and their families, unless we are native americans.  may we do what we can to help those who seek asylum here rather than regarding them as our enemies.  may we see how our lives are made better by those who enrich our culture with their cuisine, languages, and traditions.  shalom. 

Thro' Paths Unknown

we have some dear friends with whom we play cards and have dinner once a week.  they have much in common with us, particularly a love for classical music and a liberal political perspective.  there are few people in our community with whom we share those two passions.  our principal point of disagreement is our religious views.  the wife of this couple has conventional christian beliefs, while the husband is torn between christian orthodoxy and their church's conservative political stance.  he finds himself at odds with both his wife, his pastor, and most of the members of their church because politics often enters into pronouncements from the pulpit and discussions in their bible study class.  his wife, who shares his and our, political stance, can ignore the conservative bias of those in their church because their conventional religious beliefs agree with hers.  he cannot shrug off their church's politics, though he agrees with its religious orthodoxy.  they are both troubled by the poor quality of music they hear each Sunday morning and long for more traditional church music.

we find ourselves at odds with them on religious issues.  we would be unable to be part of a group that teaches the necessity of jesus' death on the cross in order to enable God to forgive our sins, nor would we be content to hear politics preached from the pulpit or taught in small group meetings.  the concept of a god who requires such sacrifice is anathema to us.  our view of jesus' life and death is quite different.  we see jesus as a great teacher who taught us that God is filled with love for us and whose mission was to help us find reconciliation with a God who desires that we share love with those around us.  the crucifixion of jesus demonstrates the cruelty of those who wanted others to worship a god of vengeance, a rule-making god whose primary function is to keep records of our shortcomings.  such people seek to control us through fear, and jesus' teachings were viewed as dangerous, since he was leading his followers to reject the control of a repressive government and religious establishment.

we seldom discuss religion with our friends, but the husband in this couple is so unhappy with the situation in their church that he frequently voices his frustration.  we are at a loss as to what to say.  we have encouraged them to attend some other church occasionally so he can escape from time to time the aspects of their church that are frustrating to him, but that doesn't seem to be a solution that appeals to either of them.  we find ourselves displeased by many things in our own church, such as the quality and quantity of music in the worship service and a minister who preaches rambling sermons during which she frequently shouts at the congregation.  since the onset of the covid pandemic, we have stopped attending our church.  i play for another congregation two or three sundays each month and find myself enjoying their service.  i attend the local episcopal church some of the sundays when i don't play and am much more comfortable in that church than in my own.  it is disturbing to us that now, in the last few years of our lives, we find ourselves without a church that we feels like "home."  i suspect that there are many like us:  older folks who find that the worship style of most churches is alien to them and who feel left out of the churches in which they grew up and attended faithfully for many years.

may we find a place where we seem to belong.  may we recognize that it is the people who make up a church, regardless of changing worship styles.  may we love despite our differences.  may we be at peace with ourselves, remaining true to our core beliefs.  if we worship a god, may that God be a God of love, not one of vengeance.  shalom.

Where the Grapes of Wrath Are Stored

a few days ago, president biden made what may be the most important speech of his presidency, as he called for americans to unite in defense of democrary.  he called us to work together, regardless of political party affiliation, to defeat the followers of the former president who are willing to use intimidation, violence, and false narratives about the integrity of our elections to win elections at all costs.  he called out "maga" republicans who sacrifice their integrity to curry favor with trump and his base of supporters.  earlier in the week, the president had referred to these trump loyalists as "semi-fascists," acknowledging their blind fealty to trump for what it is.  president biden has drawn a clear line in the sand, challenging every american to choose which side we are on.

some have called his speech divisive, and indeed it was.  he has said that we can no longer allow the lies and threats of violence to continue unchecked.  we are either supporters of democracy or supporters of the former president.  we cannot be both.  we have seen how trump's minions were willing to question the integrity of the last election, intimidate election workers for doing their jobs, mount an insurrection that threatened the lives of lawmakers and the vice-president as these public servants carried out their constitutional mandate on january 6, and devise plots to put forward illegitimate slates of presidential electors.  even now trump and his base are pushing his big lie, and some who subscribe to it have become the nominees of their state republican parties in the november elections.  if these suborners of elections take office, the elections they oversee cannot be trusted.

in republican-controlled state legislatures, laws have been passed to make it more difficult to vote.  early voting days have been reduced, hours for voting have been shortened, the number of polling places has been made smaller, more stringent voter-id laws have been enacted, absentee voting has been restricted, and measures to make it easier for handicapped voters to cast their ballots, such as drive-in voting, have been outlawed.  in some states, partisan poll watchers will be allowed to monitor voting, thus intimidating some voters.  in others, offering food or water to voters waiting in line to vote has been made illegal.  the trajectory of our election laws prior to the trump era has been to increase access to the polls and to encourage all who are legally qualified to have their voices heard in our elections.  the followers of trump have halted this progress, and it is up to each of us to bend the arc of our history back in the right direction.

may we accept our responsibilities as citizens of this grand experiment that began in a time when some were held in bondage to enable others to live in luxury.  may we continue to move toward greater inclusion and larger recognition of the rights of all people.  may we oppose, in whatever ways we can,  those who would subvert our democracy by following the path of fascism and one-party rule.  may we recognize that our freedoms are indeed in peril and stop those who would take them away.  shalom.

Come, Labor On

there is much I'd like to write about this week.  i thought about discussing my reactions to the former president's ongoing battle with the department of justice, but the topic that has captured my interest is president biden's executive order regarding student debt.  i don't understand the so-called "student loan crisis."  during my years in college, the chief lender to college students was the federal government through the national defense education act.  these low-interest loans made it possible for students who otherwise would have been unable to attend college to earn a degree, making small loan repayments after graduation until the debt was repaid.  graduates who went into the teaching field and worked in schools where many students came from low-income families had their debt excused if they continued teaching for a certain period.

both my wife and i had some of our education financed through this program, and repayment was fairly painless because of the extended time allowed for discharging the debt and the low interest rate of the loan.  this was a very successful program that encouraged many high school graduates to go on to college and have careers that enriched the workforce after earning their degrees.  unfortunately, this program is no longer available to americans.  it seems that there have been several programs that have replaced it over the years, and the drive to privatize many government programs has affected college loan programs.  for a time, it was parents, rather than students, who were responsible for debt repayment.  now, as i understand it, the burden has shifted back to the student.

the rise in college costs has created, staggering amounts of debt for many college graduates.  i know one young man who owes around $100,000 in college loans.  he is the father of five children and works as a teacher in a small college.  i am certain that his salary, even when coupled with that of his wife, is not sufficient to meets his family's needs and pay off such a debt.  this doesn't seem to be an unusual situation.  those who are knowledgable about such things tells us that most of those who will have a part of their debt forgiven earn less than $75,000 per year.  as the cost of attending college has risen, government support for higher education has fallen, causing colleges to raise their fees.  these two factors make it very difficult for many young people to get a college education, and many who are determined to better themselves are forced to borrow the money to finance college.

some have been lured into enrolling in private colleges that promise them lucrative jobs once they have graduated, only to find that those jobs are not available or that they are not qualified for them because the college that made such promises did not have the necessary credentials or that it closed its doors before the students' training was completed.  greedy entrepreneurs have taken advantage of federally guaranteed programs to enrich themselves at the expense of students and taxpayers.  

it doesn't seem unreasonable for the government to forgive a portion of student loans in the current economic situation, especially when such forgiveness is targeted to those with lower earnings.  i worry that such forgiveness may encourage students to take on debt, thinking that, when the time comes for repaying the debt, some or all of it will be forgiven.  it is time to find a way to make college affordable for everyone who wishes to get training that will make the workforce of the country stronger and broaden the minds of our people.  ignorance is the fodder of dictators.  without an educated population, our democracy will not prosper or survive, so it is in our national interest to help our people get the education they need.

may we be more farsighted than we have in the past by providing adequate funding for post-high-school training for our people.  may we use our resources to better advantage, realizing that government has a responsibility to help lift each citizen to a better life.  may we have compassion for those who labor under crippling debt.  shalom.

Of Travel, I've Had My Share

last week, my wife and i made a quick trip to our former hometown for a friend's family celebration.  we had little time to do anything except drive down, enjoy the event, and drive home.  we were exhausted when we got back, but our appetite for travel was kindled.  we're ready for new adventures that were not possible during the height of the covid pandemic.  right now a health problem makes it impossible for my wife to stray too far from home for long.  she has an appointment with a specialist in a couple of weeks, and we're hopeful that this doctor will offer a fix for her health issue so that we can plan a trip.

there are so many places we want to see and favorite destinations we want to visit again.  we know that before many years have passed, old age will prevent us from traveling as we once did.  we have watched as some older friends have planned several trips, only to have to cancel their plans because of illnesses.  that will be true for us in the future, as we can see because of the inability of my wife to travel now.  our wanderlust has taken us far from home, and being able to explore the world around us is one of our chief joys.  we long to be in vermont again in the fall and to see the green of ireland once more.  we've never been to spain, and we'd love to explore madrid, barcelona, and seville.

we know many people who are content to stay in our little town and who complain whenever it is necessary for them to travel an hour or two away on business or to see a medical specialist who is not available here.  we can't understand their lack of curiosity about the world around them, just as they are puzzled by our love of travel.  while we love our home and the town in which we live, it is not enough for us.  when our advancing years confine us to our immediate surroundings, we will learn to adjust.  until then, we will go as far and as often as we can.

may we appreciate the beauty of the world around us.  may we be content with whatever life brings us, accepting what we cannot change.  may we be filled with the desire to learn and explore.  may we continue to grow, even as our bodies fail us.  shalom.

Time, Like an Ever-Rolling Stream

looking around the room in which i sit, i see many pieces that were purchased at antique stores.  my wife and i don't think of ourselves as collectors of antiques, but we seem to have an affinity for older decorative objects.  among our most beloved possessions are a trio of lamps with glass shades that cast a gentle light and seem almost alive in their warmth.  lighting fixtures of this type were once very popular but are difficult to find nowadays and quite expensive compared to more modern lamps.  

as i look at these three lamps, i wonder whose homes they once lit.  i wonder if their former owners loved them as much as we do.  were they struck by the beauty of the glass?  did they feel the delight in their warmth as we do?  did they enjoy the intricacy of the metal work in their bases and in the shades which frame the honey-colored glass?  what were their homes like?  were they prosperous or did they struggle to get by?  could they have imagined that their beautiful lamps would find a home with someone who treasures them?

i think about where they may go after we are gone.  i hope that our two children will take them into their homes and delight in them as we do now.  they may find themselves in an antique store where someone else will see them and fall in love with them.  if some strangers take possession of them, will the new owners enjoy them as we do?  these precious lamps may light the homes of happy couples who have no idea about their history, just as we have no knowledge of the previous owners.  it amazes me that these objects and others that i see around me have stories to tell that we can never know.  they have lives of their own and mean different things to each successive owner, bearing silent witness to the beings whose lives are lived in their presence.

may we see that we are connected to one another across generations, that every object we see and touch connects us to countless others we will never know.  may we honor those lives that went before us, that suffered and rejoiced just as we do.  may we live in hope that those who follow us will not forget us, that we will live on in their memories.  may we have compassion for those who have gone before and those who are yet to be, just as we strive to have compassion for those whose lives we share in this present moment.  shalom.

Sweet Freedom's Song

another round of primary elections has taken place in this country.  in republican primaries, trump loyalists were the winners, for the most part.  perhaps the most significant victories for "big lie" supporters were in arizona, where the trump-backed candidates for united states senator and secretary of state won their primaries against more moderate candidates.  the gubernatorial primary is still too close to call, but it appears that the trump-endorsed candidate will prevail.  

the influence of the former president over republican voters is easy to see, but what isn't as clear is whether independents will support far-right conspiracists in the general election.  democrats nominated strong candidates in their primaries, and one hopes that these candidates will prevail with the support of a large number of independent voters along with moderate republicans and reliable democratic voters.  in large measure, voter turn-out will be the key to who wins in november's elections.

in michigan, the republican nominee for governor won with trump's blessing and will face an incumbent democrat who has been an outspoken opponent of trumpism and his lies about the past presidential election.  in missouri, voters repudiated the most extreme trump-backed candidate for the united states senate, but they did nominate a candidate who vows to support the trump agenda if he is elected in november.  that republican nominee will likely win in red-state missouri unless some evidence of wrongdoing on his part emerges.  the democrats have nominated a candidate with strong name recognition, a member of a family that has long been influential in missouri.  perhaps her moderate views and strong support for women's rights will attract enough supporters to give her candidacy a fighting chance.

it is amazing that trump continues to exert so much influence over a segment of the population.  former republican vice-president dick chaney, a staunch conservative, has called him a threat to our republic.  other prominent republicans have spoken out against him and urged others to move on from trump's loss in the last election.  still, trump loyalists continue to support him and his ideas, and many politicians fear electoral loss unless they pay lip service to trump and his brand of jingoistic, misogynistic politics.  trump's bent toward autocracy and his kinship to leaders like hungary's orbán are dangerous and unamerican.  rather than making america great, trumpism will destroy the values on which the country was founded if it prevails in the next two elections.

may we see the danger such demagogues pose.  may his followers awaken to the grifts he continues to perpetrate.  may those who oppose his brand of nationalistic autocracy unite at the polls to vote for candidates who will move our country forward and who embody true american ideals.  may we rid ourselves of trump and his ilk once and for all, so that he can no longer encourage the racists and misogynists in our midst.  shalom.

Where the Grass Is Greener Still

this past week, we have witnessed the effects of climate change on people not far from us.  devastating flooding has occurred in neighboring states, as torrential downpours that are unusual during our usually dry summers have fallen.  drought plagues the american west, resulting in immense suffering and uncontrollable wildfires.  the pacific northwest, where summer temperatures are usually mild, is enduring life-threatening heat.  our news media show us the rapid melting of glacial ice in greenland, which endangers coastal areas all over the world.  severe long-term drought in the horn of africa has caused mass starvation and malnutrition.

in the face of this indisputable evidence, we seem incapable of taking action to slow the devastation we see around us.  in a democratic society, it is difficult to know what to prioritize when we are faced with choices at the polls.  many are trapped in the money crunch resulting from inflation, and electing candidates who purport to have solutions to this problem and voting against the party in power takes precedence over all other considerations.  others among us are most concerned about the supreme court's ruling against a national right to abortion and support candidates who promise legislative action to guarantee women's rights to control their own bodies.  there are a host of other issues, including marriage equality, gay and trans rights, and the right to contraception, that are concerns of the electorate.

so many things need action by the federal government.  it is hard to determine which among them is most important.  yet as we look at the present devastation and consider what the future holds, nothing seems more important than acting to prevent further climate change and to reverse its current progress in so far as it is possible.  democrats in the senate have put forth a bill that includes large amounts of funding to address the issue.  i pray that this legislation is enacted and that the public realizes how necessary it is for us to take immediate action.  it is a weakness in our system that one person has the power to stop this bill's adoption, and i hope that will not happen.  that a breakthrough in funding for climate policy can be thwarted when it is so close to becoming law is unthinkable.

may each of us make stopping the degradation of our planet a priority in our lives.  may we have reverence for the earth that has sustained our species and millions of others for so many eons.  may our greed not do further damage to the planet and its systems that nourish life.  may we put aside our selfish desires for things and work together to care for life on this lovely ball floating in space.  may we realize the dangers of climate change and confront our culpability in causing it.  shalom.

Knows My Need and Well Provides Me

i am a creature of habit.  i have a morning routine that i follow.  if i am unable to perform that ritual, i feel "off" the rest of the day.  even when i am traveling, i feel the need to preserve some parts of my pattern--meditating, working on languages, and browsing the internet, with a freshly made cup of coffee beside me.  each night, i plan the following day.  i know when i awaken that certain things are planned in a certain order.  if i am prevented from acting on my daily schedule, i am out-of-sorts.

i am compelled to keep objects in a certain order.  i cannot abide disorder.  everything has a place, and i want it to be there.  our pantry has to be organized in a pre-determined order, and, when new canned goods are added to it, they must be in their proper place, with the most recent additions behind the older cans.  everything i own--clothing, music, toiletries, cords and cables, tools--must be where i have determined they should be.

this compulsion is good up to a point.  it means that i can find what i need when i need it, that i can accomplish what needs to be accomplished, that there is an efficiency to life that avoids confusion and disorder.  however, i know that my need for routine and order is not always a good thing.  life is not always orderly.  things happen that cannot be forseen, things that disrupt plans that were made, things that prevent putting something back where it belongs.  when life goes awry, i am learning to let go of the need to carry out my plans and address whatever situation arises upexpectedly.  it has taken me a long time to reach the point where i can tell myself that it's ok if i am not able to follow my pre-planned schedule.   i have come to realize that people are more important than schedules and plans.

i know, too, that an unhealthy insistence on having life just as one wants it is the stuff of tyranny.  such thinking is born of an overriding need for control.  life is not about control, but about letting go.  if i cling to my need to have everything just as i want it to be, i miss out on the joy that serendipity brings.  surprises can be nice, even though they are not always so.  it is worth the risk of allowing some unforeseen act to interfere with my plans for the day and accepting that life is not always tidy.

may we be ready to accept what life brings us, even when it is not what we had expected or planned for.  may we deal with the unexpected with intelligence and patience, realizing that even that which is unpleasant may work for the good in the long-term.  may we be flexible, resilient, and capable of giving up control.  may we learn that chaos, randomness, and disorder are as much a part of the fabric of existence as is order.  may we laugh at our foibles and learn from our mistakes.  shalom.

Somedays We Forget to Look Around Us

as i look around the room in which i am sitting as i write, i see many things that awaken joyful feelings in me.  across the room, a cuckoo clock is ticking away.  in a few moments, the cuckoo will emerge to announce the time, two bird figures on the clock will feed their young in the nest at the bottom of the clock's face, and wooden figures will move in a circle at the top of the clock face while a music box plays a folk tune.  every time i hear the sound of this clock, i remember the happy day we bought it in an antique store about an hour's drive from our home.

not far from my chair, there stands a floor clock that plays beautiful chimes every quarter hour.  it reminds me of the happy christmas when my wife and i gave ourselves this lovely clock as a gift to ourselves.  several spanish porcelain figures sit on tables in the room, parts of my wife's collection of these pieces, and each one evokes a memory of the moment when it was discovered in a shop during one of our travels.  the room is illuminated by two antique lamps that cast a warm glow through their golden-hued glass shades.  these are also momentoes of our travels, and their significance in our lives is greater than their value as antiques.  indeed, they are reminders of happy times we spent together, times that we treasure.

on the opposite end of the piece of furniture on which one of the lamps sits, three porcelain vases reflect the lamp's light.  these creamware pieces are among my favorites, as i am a great lover of this off-white porcelain.  i remember a time when i turned in my chair at our informal dining table and knocked the tallest of this set off the hearth where it sat at the time, shattering it on the wooden floor.  we were both heartbroken that this beloved vase was ruined, but my wife began a search online for a replacement.   we were delighted when we learned that the vase was still being manufactured by the american company which made the one i broke.  we immediately placed an order for a replacement.  when it arrived our set was once more complete, and we delight in the beauty of the three vases every day.

my wife is a great collector, and one of her fascinations is small spinning tops.  on the table at the end of the couch, there is a wooden tray that was designed as a surface for spinning these small toys.  on it are about ten of the tops my wife found as we traveled.  one is a simple walnut top that we found in a gift shop in the train station in washington, d. c., on one of our trips.  it was rather expensive, but worth every penny because of the memories it kindles each time we spin it.  next to the chairs in this room are two small tables.  these tables sat at the end of the couch in my mother's living room for at least forty years.  when she passed away, we inherited them.  they are a constant reminder of my mother and of the happy times i spent in her company.

all of these things are important to me, not because of their monetary value but because of the memories they evoke.  this room and every room in our home is filled with pieces that bring back joys that have been a part of my life at some time or other.   the entire house is a summation of a happy life.  i hope that one day others will find as much happiness in these possessions as i have found.  these are not "things;" they represent experiences that are snapshots of our lives, like the pictures in a photo album.  we love them because of their association with the moments when we discovered them, as well as for their intrinsic beauty.

may we acquire objects and treasure them for their deeper meaning, not just for their outward appearance.  may we be grateful to all those involved in their creation, to those who made it possible for us to see and purchase them, and for the meaning they have in our lives.  may we remember that it is not the acquisition of things that is important, that what is important are the associations embodied in those things.  may we know that the memories remain, even when the things we love are lost.  may all that we have be an expression of the living of our lives and the love we feel for one another.  shalom.

Where the Clouds Are Far Behind Me

sometimes it seems that it is not the major events in our lives that cause the greatest suffering, but rather those petty annoyances that creep into our lives.  the garage door opener isn't working properly, it rains and we can't do the yard work we had planned on doing, the clothes rack in the laundry room falls from its position, or any one of a thousand little things that can go wrong does go wrong.  it is in those times that one wants to curse life and say, "why does everything happen to me."  it seems that as soon as we plug one hole in the metaphorical dike that is our daily life, another begins to leak.  

this past week has been one of those "leaky dike" weeks for me.  this was brought home to me in a dream i had.  in the dream, we had moved into a new home.  everywhere i looked there were little things that needed to be done.  the furniture and all our belongings were in place, so the major tasks were completed, but there seemed to be a million minor things that demanded to be taken care of.  my wife, as is her custom, was busily making lists of all these jobs that we had to face, and i could feel my frustration growing.  i was about to say in my most irritated voice, "stop with the lists.  it's too much!" when i awakened, relieved  that it was only a dream.  in that moment i realized that my dream was the summation of the petty annoyances of the week that i had not been very good at dealing with.

i was reminded of the part of my daily meditation where i pray, "may i be constant."  by that, i set an intention of remaining calm and peaceful regardless of the circumstances.  i hope to view all of life with equanimity, accepting the bad with the good and dealing with it all without allowing excess emotions.  what one intends and what one does are not always the same, as the past week demonstrated.  none of us is perfect.  my reactions to all the little mishaps that were part of my life in recent days reminded me that i am only human.  i always have work to do to become the person i intend to be.  everything worked out in the end.  all the broken things were pretty easily repaired or replaced.  the schedules that didn't work out caused only minor inconveniences.  life was still awfully good, even if it wasn't perfect.

may we stop and smell the roses.  may we let go of anger and frustration and appreciate all the good that life brings us.  may we do the work that is needed to live out our intentions.  may we be grateful for trials that teach us how to become better people.  shalom.

Let Freedom Ring

the country in which i live was built on compromise, a quality that we seem to have forgotten today.  during this month when we celebrate the birth of our country, it is fitting to think of one of our founding documents, the constitution.  we speak reverentially of our constitution.  it is a remarkable document.  some, including one of the members of the committee investigating the january sixth insurrection at the capital and one of the witnesses that appeared before it, have gone so far as to say that it was divinely inspired.  to proclaim divine inspiration for the constitution of the united states is to place it on an undeserved pedestal.

our constitution made our country possible.  it is a brilliant work, but it is flawed, as we have seen in recent times.  in order to secure the support of the former colonies for a strong central government, its writers made essential compromises.  they allowed slaves to be counted as part of each state's population, giving states with large slave populations more power than their voting residents justified.  one of the ugliest parts of the constitution declared a slave was only three-fifths of a person, relegating those held in bondage against their wills to sub-human status for political purposes.  without this compromise, southern states that thought slavery was necessary for their economic well-being would not have ratified the new constitution.

another compromise was the electoral college system for choosing presidents, rather than a direct popular vote.  smaller states were given more power than their populations justified in order to secure their support for the constitution.  this system gave each state a number of presidential electoral votes equal to the number of its members of the house of representatives plus its number of senators.  every state has two senators, regardless of the number of residents, while the number of representatives is based on population.  thus states with large populations had fewer votes relative to their population than did smaller states.  in the early days of the constitution's adoption, this compromise allayed the fears of states with fewer residents than the larger states, like new york and virginia, would have too much power in the election of a president.  this system has proven to be unfortunate in today's presidential contests, as we see elections decided, not by the will of the people, but by states whose population is small but whose power in the electoral college thwarts overwhelming majorities of voters.

now we have a supreme court on which the majority of justices were appointed by presidents with less than a majority of the popular vote.  our disgraced former president appointed three of those justices, and those appointees have swung the court toward radical right-wing decisions which threaten the country.  they have reversed gains in women's rights that were won half a century ago, they have gutted the administrative power of the executive branch to enforce the laws passed by congress, and they are poised to endorse a radical theory that gives state legislatures inordinate power over elections while stripping state judiciaries of their power to review election laws passed by the state legislatures.  one of the conservative justices has suggested that the right of people to marry the person they love should be revisited and possibly done away with.  since the constitution grants supreme court justices lifetime appointments, the only remedies for the current situation is for congress to adopt laws that counter the extreme rulings of the court or to increase the number of justices by act of congress so that the conservative majority becomes a minority.  supreme court decisions are final and become the law of the land unless altered by congressional action or constitutional amendment, so we are in dangerous, untried waters with the decisions of the present court.

the writers of the constitution were wise in placing mechanisms for amending the constitution as new situations arise or as provisions of the original document are seen to be in need of revision.  unfortunately, our current political landscape makes it unlikely that the constitution will be amended to correct problems that have developed in recent times, since conservative majorities are in control of too many state legislatures.  it is these legislatures that must ratify changes to the constitution.  the republicans who control many state legislatures have devised means for remaining in power through their drawing of congressional maps, even when the majority of the people in their states vote for democrats.  if the supreme court increases the power of these republican-majority legislatures, their control will be all but impossible to undo.

may our people awaken to the damage they do when they cast protest votes for republicans because of temporary economic conditions for which the party in power, now the democrats, is blamed.  may we see that electing a republican majority in the congress will further limit our ability to protect the rights of women, gays, minorities, and all those who are disenfranchised.  may we work together to strengthen our freedoms and make it convenient for every eligible voter to cast a ballot.  shalom.

And the World Stood Still

our daughter spent the past several days with us.  her stay reminded us of the wonderful person she has grown to be.  she is thoughtful, always ready to help us in whatever way she can.  her sense of humor has lightened our days.  her visit has filled us with joy.  on her final day with us, she gave her mother a gift that we had spotted in a gift shop that we visited together.  because the item she gave my wife was a little pricey, my wife wouldn't buy it, so my wife was thrilled when she opened the box our daughter handed her and saw the lovely gift.  this parting gift reminded us of what a sensitive person our daughter is.

as i reflect back on her visit, i wonder what we did as she was growing up that helped her become such a loving person.  i wish that we could take credit for her kindness and compassion, but i know that many factors combined to make her who she is.  as a small child, she was very obedient.  she only had to be told "no" once to stop her from doing something we disapproved of.  she was a happy child and easy to manage.  in her teenage years, though, she was rebellious.  we wondered if she would make it to adulthood.  she was determined to have things her own way, and we struggled to understand what drove her to be the way she was.  

by the time she had made it through her first two years of college, during which she lived a couple of hours away from us, she had matured into an adult with whom we could reason and come to terms.  seeing that it was a struggle for her to pay her living expenses in the college she had insisted on attending, which had no dormitories and where she had no financial aid of any kind, she decided to return home to complete her degree.  after she graduated from high school, we had tried to talk her into attending other schools where scholarships would have been available to her and where we could have paid all the cost of her education but she refused to listen to us, determined to attend the more expensive college, where our limited resources could only pay for her tuition and books and where she would have to work to pay the rest of her living expenses.  after she moved back home, she easily completed her studies and worked part-time to earn spending money.  her teenage rebellion over, she went to work as a teacher, fell in love with a young man, and married.

she and her husband struggled financially.  he had only a part-time job which he held onto in the hopes that it would lead to a more lucrative full-time job with the same company.  she worked a second job and, within a couple of years, they were able to buy a small home.  marital difficulties arose, and her husband left to take a job in a large metropolitan area about two hours away.  our daughter considered divorce, but she was determined to make the marriage work.  they reconciled, and she moved to be with her husband.  after working at a clerical job for a year, she went back to work as a teacher.   they continued to work on their marriage, and, with our help, they were able to buy a nice home in a quiet neighborhood.

as the years have gone by, they discovered how much they cared for one another and now are very happy together.  she is looking forward to early retirement from her teaching job at the end of the next school year, because teaching has become very stressful.  her husband has a non-teaching job with another school district that allows him the same holidays that she has.  we delight in the joy they have found with one another.  her kindness and compassion have helped her husband become a more caring, attentive person, so their marriage is one that brings both of them much joy.

i suppose nothing could be more satisfying than to see your child become a wonderful adult who is happy and who shares her happiness with others.  may she and her husband continue to grow in love for each other.  may all of us find the companionship with another human that completes us.  may we grow in lovingkindness and compassion each day and may we share those blessings with others.  shalom.

Music Fills Your Heart

for the past couple of weeks i've written about doom and gloom.  this week i want to write about joy.  despite my fears for the immediate future, i am a happy person.  every day i wake up surrounded by life's blessings.  i live in a comfortable home with a loving wife who is my best friend.  i have kind, caring children.  i have friends and relatives i enjoy.  i eat delicious food and can afford to travel wherever i want to go.  my health is generally good, though i am feeling some of the aches that come with aging.  my life is a good one, and i love it.

one of my greatest joys is music.  i have the opportunity to make music for others several sundays each month playing for a local congregation that seems to enjoy the music i provide for them.  each time i sit down to practice or to play a church service, i am transported to a world of beauty.  it is wonderful to take part in the creative process with some of the greatest composers in history.  this is the unique aspect of music.  when one plays music composed by another, there is a mutual sharing of the material.  without the player, the notes are static on the page.  the music only comes to life when the printed music is realized by a live player or players.  just as in a play where actors bring the playwright's words to life, a musical performer brings the creation of the composer to life and participates with the composer in making the music and sharing it with others.

beautiful, thoughtful music speaks to the mind and heart in a way that nothing else can.  as i listen to music, my mind is freed from the mundane necessities of life, and i am transported into the mind of another who may have lived far from me in a different time period and who spoke a different language, yet the language of music is common to us both.  when i am a part of making the music, the composer and i communicate not only with one another but with any who are listening.  there is a sharing of experience across time and space that is nothing short of miraculous.

may i continue to find the joy that music brings.  may i long to share that joy with others.  may music bridge gaps that are otherwise impossible to cross.  may we put aside our differences as we find common ground in the beauty of music.  may we make and listen to music that inspires the best in us, increasing our capacity for lovingkindness, compassion, tolerance, and mutual understanding.  shalom.

Through Paths Unknown

last week i wrote about the hopelessness i felt.  i am still disturbed about the prospect of a republican victory in the upcoming midterm elections.  i am troubled that the democrats in congress are not addressing the economic problems that so many face.  while people struggle to pay for the essentials of life, president biden and our party look for ways to place blame for rising prices of housing, food, and fuel rather than seeking solutions that demonstrate that government is not powerless.  indeed, there are many factors over which government has little or no control, such as the effects of the covid pandemic and our emergence from it, the logistical problems faced by suppliers of goods, the inability of oil refineries to meet the demand for gasoline, and the war in ukraine, that have combined to cause our economic woes.  

rising prices are disproportionally hurting those towards the bottom of the economic ladder.  most of us can tighten our belts a little and weather higher prices, but those who were struggling before inflation became so great had already economized as much as possible.  now they are caught by the need to make difficult choices in order to pay their bills.  all too often, the lower middle class and the poor are finding themselves choosing between health care and feeding and sheltering their families, making do with clothing that should be replaced, and buying unhealthy foods rather than more expensive nutritious food.

a few days ago, millions of us watched the first presentation by the house committee that is investigating the events of january 6, 2021.  we saw the beginnings of the case against donald trump and those around him.  it is essential that as much of the truth be made public as can be discovered.  at the same time, republican criticism of the lack of a plan for combating inflation is valid.  democrats hold the majority in both houses of congress and a democrat is the president.  it is their responsibility to address the needs of the people by finding ways to ease the pain of inflation on those least able to bear its costs.  republicans have no plan, either, and, if they take control of either or both houses of congress, their answer will be to attempt to enrich those at the top of the economic ladder while doing little for those at and near the bottom.  a republican majority in congress will be disastrous for the nation, and that is where we are headed unless democrats act quickly to demonstrate their concern for the pain many are feeling.  it will not matter how guilty trump and his minions are.  exposing their perfidy is important, but so is addressing the economic difficulties so many americans are facing.

may we awaken to the awful damage trump and trumpism have caused our nation.  may we turn from his misogyny, racism, and greed, and look to caring for one another.  may we rally to the cause of freedom based on the ideals of our founders.  may we recognize the dangers posed by christian nationalism and the followers of donald trump.  may we become a more tolerant, compassionate people, electing those who share our values.  shalom.

A Reason to Be Living

it is not often that i feel hopeless, but right now i do.  i know that this feeling will pass, but, as i think of the problems that we face, i see few solutions.  fuel and food prices have risen and continue to increase, putting a strain on the finances of many.  since democrats are the majority party in the congress and the president is a democrat, our party is blamed for this situation.  most americans know in their hearts that economic forces beyond the control of the federal government are the cause of inflation, but, when things are going badly, the party in power takes the hit at the polls.  the prospect of a republican majority in the house and senate is frightening, given that party's current state.

trump loyalists are in control of the republican party.  they are determined to carry the upcoming mid-term elections at all costs.  they continue to promote trump's big lie that president biden won the last presidential election fraudulently.  where republicans control state legislatures, they have passed laws that make it easier for them to hold onto power.  they have begun enacting state laws allowing them to intimidate voters in democrat-leaning precincts.  they have made it more difficult to vote.  they have taken control of elections away from impartial officials and given that power to the legislature.  under trump's influence, our basic right to govern by the consent of the people is gravely threatened.

those in the republican party who dare to challenge this program of harassment, voter suppression, and intimidation are ostracized and targeted for electoral defeat.  only two republicans have been willing to participate in investigating the incidents of january 6 and what went on in the days leading up to it.  other republicans have refused to participate and have joined the former president in calling it a "witch hunt."  a mentally unstable political novice has won the republican nomination for senator from georgia, a man who has been repeatedly accused of threats against women and who makes claims as outlandish as those of the former president.  the court have removed several republican candidates in michigan from the ballot for allowing fake signatures on their petitions to run for office.  a celebrity physician who has promoted phony cures for disease has become the republican senate nominee in pennsylvania.

we watch as mass killings are rampant in this country and do nothing about it.  we refuse to pass sensible laws that would keep guns out of the hands of mentally ill, violent, and immature persons.  we allow weapons whose only purpose is mass killing to be sold with few restrictions.  we have citizens walking around armed to the teeth with no laws to prevent this practice.  we listen as the gun lobby tells us that "people kill people, not guns," while we continue to tell the survivors of mass shootings and their families that "our thoughts and prayers are with them."  what good are those thoughts and prayers without actions that demonstrate our compassion?

our government is poised to take away the right of women to control their own bodies, as male-dominated legislatures pass laws that prevent women and their doctors from making private decisions about women's health issues.  as unwanted children are brought into the world, the same people who tell us that abortion is murder refuse to support the care of those children that women are forced to bear against their will or to take the necessary steps to curtail mass murders in schools.  we have allowed a right-wing-dominated supreme court to have the final say over reproductive and voting rights in this country to the detriment of democracy.

may those who believe in the ideals on which our country was founded rally to the struggle against the erosion of those ideals.  may we stop the movement to adopt laws and practices that will lead to authoritarianism.  may we reject trumpsim in favor of tolerance, diversity, and freedom.  may we again support the needs of those who have been left behind in our affluent society.  may we demonstrate true patriotism by rejecting demagoguery and misogyny and by having compassion for all our people.  shalom.

From All That Terror Teaches

a few days ago we witnessed another mass killing in our country.  seventeen children and two adults were gunned down and another seventeen were wounded for no reason.  such senseless murders have become commonplace, and those in power do nothing to prevent them.  as many of our elected legislators tell us that more guns are the solution, most of us know that this response is ridiculous.  if more guns ended such killings, we would be the world's safest country.  there are commonsense measures that would reduce the number of such events, and most americans are agreed that these are needed.

we don't understand why anyone needs weapons that are designed only for mass murders.  these weapons are not for self-defense.  they are not for hunting.  they are not for target shooting.  their only purpose is to kill as many people as possible as quickly as possible.  we don't understand why an eighteen-year-old should be allowed to legally purchase two such weapons from the same gun store.  we don't understand why background checks and registration are not required for all gun purchases.  we don't understand why mentally unstable and violent people can legally purchase or continue to own guns.  we don't understand why every gun owner shouldn't be required to complete training on gun safety.  we don't understand why a license is not required to own a gun and a national system of licensing and registration is not in place.

we have had such laws in the past but they have been repealed in the name of "second amendment rights."  the seventeen innocent children who were just killed had the right to attend school without fearing for their lives.  their parents had the right to see their children grow into healthy adults.  their teachers had the right to practice their profession safely.  those who decry sensible gun laws ignore the rights of the victims of gun violence.  the national rifle association has evolved from an organization that promoted the legitimate uses of firearms and gun safety into a behemoth that enriches politicians, gun manufacturers, and related businesses.  its members call for turning teachers into armed guards, making schools less safe by limiting the number of exits, and forcing children to attend schools surrounded by armed guards.

may we adopt measures that will make our society safer rather than more dangerous.  may we see the campaign contributions of the gun lobby for what they are:  a successful attempt to buy the loyalty of politicians.  may we see the difference between legitimate ownership of guns and the arming of potential murderers.  may we have more compassion for the rights of victims and be less concerned with the "rights" of gun zealots.  shalom.

We Shall Breathe the Air Again

as i sit in my comfortable home, i think of what it must be like for the people of ukraine who have lost everything except their lives.  their homes are destroyed, their livelihoods are no more, they are often separated from other members of their families, loved ones have been killed, other family members are off fighting in the war, perhaps never to return.  many have been forced to flee to other countries to live on the charity of others.  i wonder how they have the courage to go on in the face of so much loss.  

i try to imagine how great their suffering must be but i have no experience to help me stand in their shoes.  there are many in the world who know what it is to lose so much--the people of syria, the tibetans, the palestinians.  in our sheltered lives here in this country, we have not experienced such loss in over one hundred and fifty years.  we sit in comfortable chairs, sleep in comfortable beds.  when we flip a switch the lights come on.  our cars sit in our garages ready to take us wherever we want to go.  for most of us, hunger is a very temporary condition that is easily remedied.  certainly, there are those who live under much poorer conditions.  there are those among us who must struggle to provide food and shelter for themselves and their families.  many are homeless.  it is easy to turn a blind eye to the plight of the poor, but even they do not suffer the horrible situation so many in ukraine now face.

like others, i am filled with admiration for the courage of the ukrainians.  they endure for the sake of preserving their homeland and their national identity.  they fight to keep their freedom and their democracy.  they stand firm against an evil that would force them to be the subjects of a foreign power, as most of the world supports their struggle.  knowing how many millions of people are on their side must be a source of strength for them.  perhaps their war against oppression will free the people of russia in the end, as more and more russians become aware of the awful destruction their leaders have brought to ukraine.

may we continue to stand with the ukrainians in their fight, doing whatever we can to help them.  may we work with other countries to support them and to care for those who have been forced to flee their country.  may we give thanks for our own freedom and our peaceful existence in a land where we do not have to fear a foreign enemy's invasion.  may we summon whatever compassion we can for both the people of ukraine and for the ordinary people of russia who are being forced to support an unjust war.  shalom.