Here Is That Rainbow

 a few days ago, my brother would have celebrated his seventieth birthday.  he died three years ago, not long after we moved to our new home here in the mountains.  he was five years younger than me, and we lived very different lives.  as i think of him, memories come flooding back.  when he was born, my parents were building a new home on property next to the building where we had rented an apartment for the previous four years, so his birth coincided with our preparations to move into the home our parents had built for their growing family.

my brother and i shared a bedroom in this new home once he was old enough to move from his crib/youth bed in my parents' bedroom.   i started first grade just before my brother turned one-year-old.  this meant that as he grew from a baby into a young child i was away from home most of the day.  i was so wrapped up in my new life as a schoolboy that i paid little attention to my brother.  where i was very independent and self-contained, he was a "mama's boy," clinging to my mother and never wanting to be far from her.

i loved to go stay with my grandparents during the summer.  during the first summer after i completed first grade, i spent two weeks with my mother's parents and two weeks with my father's parents, a pattern i continued until i reached high school.  near the end of the summer just before my brother's fourth birthday while i was staying with my mother's parents, my brother was stricken with a life-threatening illness.  my parents made a desperate drive to the larger town where my grandparents lived in the middle of the night to get my brother to the hospital.  he spent several weeks in the hospital, fighting for his life.  in those days, children weren't allowed to visit in the hospital, so i couldn't go see him.  i can remember standing outside the hospital while my mother brought my brother to the window so we could see each other once he had recovered enough to leave his hospital bed.  i felt so helpless standing there waving up to him and wishing that i could just give him a hug.  he looked so frail, and it was then that i realized how close we had come to losing him.

that illness changed the dynamics of our family in many ways.  my father, who had never been close to me as he was consumed with his work, doted on my brother.  he never lost sight of how close my brother had come to death, and anything he wanted my father got for him.  my brother used my father's fear of losing him to manipulate my father, as children will do.  i remember many family shopping trips when my brother would see a toy he wanted.  if my parents told him he couldn't have it, he would throw himself to the floor, kicking and screaming, until my father agreed to purchase for him.  i grew to resent this seeming favoritism towards my brother and began demanding that my father treat me equally.  my mother pointed out to my father that i was right to feel as i did, and, from that point on, anytime my brother wrangled a new toy out of my father, my dad gave me some money for my little savings account.  now, i understand why Dad gave in to my brother, as every day he was reminded how close to death my brother had been.

because of the difference in our temperaments and ages, my brother and i were never really close, though we shared a room.  he was more athletic than i, though neither of us were that interested in sports.  we both loved music, and both of us took piano lessons and played band instruments.  i was more serious about music than my brother and made it my career, but my brother became interested in acting.  he starred in many amateur productions in college and later as an adult.  he went to work on a boat that did oil exploration in oceans all over the world after dropping out of college and saw much of the world as a result.  he eventually married a young woman from thailand and brought her home to the states after the birth of their son.

when my nephew was five, my brother and his wife divorced, and she and my nephew moved away while my brother continued to work on the ship.  when that job played out, his company moved him to an office job in their headquarters in the city where his former wife and son lived.  this was a good situation for him, as he got to see his son frequently and was able to live a more settled life and renew his love for acting.  he completed his college degree and seemed to be content to live a more conventional life.  after a few years, another company bought out his company and began letting people go, including my brother.  by that time he was in his fifties and was never able to find a permanent job.  it seemed that no one wanted to hire someone his age.  he was either over-qualified for the positions available or too old.  he took a series of part-time jobs but struggled to support himself.  he tried valiantly to make a career as a professional actor and got sporadic gigs, even playing a small part in a major movie, but his career never took off.

as he aged, his health deteriorated, probably from a combination of poor nutrition, smoking, and his inability to pay for health insurance.  he was stricken with throat and oral cancer, which was eliminated by surgery and follow-up chemo and radiation treatment.  then he had pneumonia, a heart attack, and a broken hip.  once recovered from all those health crises, he decided to move to the small town where our younger sister lived.  i took a truck to the large town where he was living and helped him get moved.  he seemed quite happy with his new living situation.  my sister was at his house frequently and loved having him near her.  just as he began to get settled in and feel at home, he had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died before any medical care could reach him.  my sister was spending the night at his home when this happened, so he was not alone when he died.

every year on his birthday, the struggles he faced come flooding back.  he worked so hard to make a good life for himself and to support his son.  he was the kindest of men, constantly taking in stray animals that were destined for euthanasia were it not for his generosity.  it seems as if all the goodness he embodied went unrewarded, with life constantly slapping him down.  yet, he never gave up.  when a door was slammed in his face, he looked for another to open.  i have to believe that the good karma he generated resulted in a better life for him after this one ended.  wherever my brother is, i hope that he is happy and surrounded by loved ones and pets who adore him.

may we do the best we can, no matter the circumstances of our lives.  may we learn from those who persevere in the face of every challenge.  may we never give up on lovingkindness and compassion.  may we not live to be rewarded for our good behavior but in order to make life better for those around us.  shalom.

Wake, Now, My Reason

 we humans are quite gullible.  for example, shortly after we moved here about four years ago, we went with some friends to listen to a sales pitch out of curiosity and because of the offer of a free meal at a local restaurant.  the room where the presentation was made was packed, so we weren't the only ones around who were lured by the offer of a meal at no cost.  the product being offered was a seat and back cushion that contained some "powerful" magnets.  these magnets, we were told, would cure most anything wrong with us, particularly back pain.  some members of the audience were asked to try the cushions out, and unsurprisingly they reported that their pain was instantly cured.  my wife and i were astounded that a number of people in attendance bought into this scam, including the husband of the couple we came with.  how could anyone believe that this cushion was worth the several hundred dollars that it sold for?  some people even bought extra magnets at an exorbitant price because the salesman convinced them that adding more magnets increased the curative powers of his product.

as i think of the people that are being taken in by hucksters with regard to the covid-19 virus, i remember that sales pitch from a few years ago.  unproven "cures," such as ivermectin, are promoted by a few commentators on tv, and thousands of people are convinced that now they have nothing to fear from covid infection.  this horse dewormer was endorsed by their favorite right-wing personality as an effective treatment, and, of course, they believe that this person knows more that all the scientists and medical experts who are telling them that this treatment is hogwash.  the same was true for hydroxychloroquine, an antimalarial drug that was promoted by former president trump as a covid treatment.  despite all the medical evidence, there were those who believed that this drug was the answer to their fears about being infected, primarily because trump endorsed it.

the same sort of trickery is seen in our religious beliefs.  we are willing to believe the most incredible tales if they appear in a "holy" book or if they are told by a charismatic preacher.  order the miraculous prayer cloth or place your hands on the radio or tv as the preacher prays and you can be cured of any disease.  send money and "god" will bless you.  attend and contribute to the right church, say the right words, or perform the right rituals and you will spend eternity in a bliss-filled heaven.  we can suspend our reasoning powers and buy into the malarkey that passes for "true" religion because it is easier to accept what someone else says than to think through things for ourselves.  what the peddlers of phony medical treatments and phony religion are selling is hope, not reason.  why do the hard work of thinking when it is so much easier to accept what another says.

may we not fall for the propaganda that we hear and see on television, radio, and the internet.  may we examine all claims and ferret out what makes sense and what doesn't.  may we use our brains to sort out fact from fiction.  may we not adopt any belief simply because those around us endorse it or because it is handed down to us by our parents.  may reason triumph over unreason.  shalom.

To Promote the General Welfare

 recently president biden announced that the labor department of the federal government would begin requiring that all employees of businesses in which one hundred or more workers are employed must be vaccinated against covid-19 or undergo weekly covid testing.  many such employers already require their employees to be vaccinated as a condition of their continuing employment.  while on the face of it, this may seem to be governmental intrusion into the lives of millions of individuals, the underlying reasoning is that employees who are unvaccinated may easily spread the virus to other employees who must work in close proximity to the unvaccinated.  these employees have no choice if they wish to continue their employment, so being forced to work alongside unvaccinated fellow workers is a threat to everyone's health.  when someone catches the virus at work, they then take it home to their families, further accelerating the spread of the virus.  a course of action like the one the biden administration is taking is a better alternative than once more shutting down the economy in an enforced quarantine for everyone.

as we think about the continued refusal of many to take a vaccine that has been proven to be safe and effective, a mandate to be vaccinated is necessary.  if we cannot stop the spread and continued mutation of this virus into increasingly virulent forms, we cannot function as a society.  even those who have been vaccinated will be susceptible to infection if a vaccine-resistant strain of the virus emerges, as it surely will unless most people join the ranks of the vaccinated.  nearly universal vaccination for other diseases is required in this country.  why should covid-19 be any different?

i recently read a report about a county in a neighboring state in which the vast majority of its residents have refused the vaccine.  though the residents are watching as friends and loved ones succumb to the virus, many of them dying or suffering long-term effects, most are still suspicious of the vaccine.  practices to diminish the spread of infection, such as mask-wearing and social distancing, are ridiculed.  many of those who have been vaccinated have done so secretly so that their neighbors are unaware of their status because it is socially unacceptable in this small county to take the vaccine.  those interviewed were wary of the federal government and its motives in urging people to take the vaccine.  some said that the development had deliberately been slowed in order to insure the defeat of donald trump in the last election, and, therefore, to take the vaccine is to be pro-biden.  against the  backdrop of thinking such as this, it seems the only way to increase the rate of vaccination is to adopt a mandate such as the one the president announced.

another argument that the anti-vaccine proponents have put forward is the fatalist proposition that when "god calls your number", you will die, regardless of the cause.   "you have to die of something," these folks say, so, knowing as "christians" that they will go to a better place when they die, they claim to have nothing to fear if and when they catch covid.  "god" will protect them.  if "god" does not keep them safe from infection, then it is "god's" will that they catch the vaccine.  if they die from it, that, too, is "god's" will.  God deliver us from such "god-fearing" christians.

may we act in our own self-interest and that of those around us by being immunized against covid-19.  may we put aside faulty reasoning and suspicions of the government's intentions and listen to medical experts and scientists.  may we understand that part of living in a free society is feeling responsible for the well-being of all those in the society.  instead of opposing sensible regulations intended to keep us all safe, may we support those who are acting in all of our best interests.  shalom.

Doubt Not Our Inmost Wants Are Known

 i've written before about the idea that so many christians have that God has a plan for each of our lives.  i was reminded of this belief a few days ago when another couple came to our home to visit and play cards.  we had never spent time together in this way, though my wife and the wife who was a part of the other couple had played bridge a few times.  as we talked about our past experiences, each of them recounted incidents in their lives when they believed God had caused events to happen that changed the direction of their lives.  they were not the type of people who "wore their religion on their sleeves," but i could tell from several remarks each made that they subscribed to this calvinist view of how God worked in individual lives and in the world.

after they left, i thought about how many christians often attribute serendipitous events to God.  it's only a step from this view of life to one that sees the hand of God in every event.  a fatalist philosophy of life takes away one's own will to change or influence events, since all has been preordained by God.  we often see some of this line of thinking when someone dies despite the fervent prayers of loved ones for a miraculous cure and the best efforts of medical professionals.  "God needs him more than we do," or "our lives are in God's hand" are frequent sentiments we hear at the time of another's death, as if God is the cause of death rather than old age, heart disease, or cancer.  we forget that death is as much a part of life as is birth.  

perhaps we have more in common with ancient peoples who attributed inexplicable natural phenomena to the gods than we would like to think.  it is difficult to accept that things just happen, that events in our lives are not the result of some divine plan.  something fortuitous or disastrous can occur without any manipulation by supernatural forces.  we happen to be in the right place or the wrong place because that's where we happen to be, not because God intervened in our lives.  to think that circumstances occur because of "God's plan for our lives" makes us the center of everything rather than a reasonable being who is part of the great interconnected web of all things.

may we let go of the arrogance of thinking that all that happens to us is caused by a grand design devised by a supernatural being.  may we be grateful for the good in our lives and learn from the bad, coming to appreciate that the bad is often the opportunity for the greatest growth.  may we realize that there is a difference between Divine Love and divine causation, that the former can exist without the latter.  shalom.