Deep Peace to You

this week i wanted to write about a christmas memory triggered by this year's celebration with my family.  circumstances prevent me from doing so, but i plan to write about this memory next week.  until then, may all of us find peace, compassion, lovingkindness, and good health in our lives and in the lives of those we love.  shalom.

The Hope and Fears of All the Years

though christmas is my favorite time of year, i feel apprehensive about our celebration this year.  i look forward to being with my wife and children at the home of our daughter and her husband, who live about seven hours away from us.  it has been nice not to have all the meal planning and preparation and all-out decorating that goes along with having our family christmas at our home.  we can relax and let our daughter and her husband take care of all that work.  we'll have a great time being together, opening our gifts, and having several days to talk about what's going on in our lives.  we'll have delicious food and will eat too much of it, most likely.

the concern comes for several reasons.  first, the spread of the new omicron covid variant threatens to exacerbate the cycle of isolation, infection, hospitalization, and death that we had hoped the vaccines would end.  so many people still refuse to become vaccinated and fail to take the necessary precautions to slow the rate of infection.  social activities that have resumed won't be curtailed, at least in our area of the country, and many will not wear masks.  the community choir of which i am a member will still present our annual performance of the christmas portion of messiah, which were interrupted last year because of the pandemic.  i am one of the two choir members who sings wearing a mask, and i am the only choir member who is socially distancing myself from the rest of the choir.  i fear that the audience will be so large that social distancing will be impossible for them, turning our two presentations of the music into super-spreader events.  i participate in these concerts with apprehension and question whether i should have participated at all.

this presentation of messiah has been stressful in other ways.  i serve as our choir's treasurer, which ordinarily would not be a difficult job.  my responsibilities are to account for the money that is donated by members of the community and to see that the professional musicians who make possible the choir's performances are paid.  this year, the president of the choir had to undergo major heart surgery just before our last rehearsal, and she did not survive the surgery.  we are heartbroken because of her death, which has cast a pall over this year's presentations.  the other officer/board member and i must take care of her duties as well as our own as we grieve her loss along with her family and others in the community.  more stress was created for me when the person who usually takes care of overseeing the preparation and printing of the programs was unable to do so, and those tasks became my responsibility at the last minute.

a few days ago, i found myself wishing that i had never agreed to serve as an officer of the choir or to sing in this year's performances.  i thought to myself that life would be much simpler if i remained a member of the choir whose only responsibilities were to show up for rehearsals and performances or if i had used the fear of infection as a reason to skip this year's presentation.  now that the first performance is done and i've heard the audience's appreciative comments, i realize that this is a holiday tradition that is important to many people.  i see that the duties i performed were necessary and that it was worthwhile for me to shoulder them so that others didn't have to.  in future years, it will be someone else's job to take care of the choir's finances and see that the programs are printed, but i should be grateful that i had the time and abilities to see that these jobs are done for now.

may we not allow the stress of seeing a job through to hide the end result from us.  may we accept our turn to shoulder responsibility, knowing that others will relieve us in the future.  may we know that today's tensions are not permanent, and accepting the feelings that go along with them as part of the fabric of life.  may we see the whole and not just the parts.  shalom.

Just to See Her Smile

this week i want to write about my gratitude for the wonderful wife with whom i have shared the past fifty-three years of marriage.  she and i met as freshmen in college, first attracted to each other by our mutual love of music.  we dated throughout our undergraduate years and married the summer after graduation.  we came from very different backgrounds but over the years we've learned to appreciate both the differences and similarities in our upbringing.  

during our early years of marriage, we disagreed about many things.  there were times when we went for days without speaking to one another.  as time passed, we realized that our love for one another was stronger than the need for each of us to be in control.  we found ways to compromise and learned to put our selfish desires aside in favor of understanding one another's needs.  we came to view ourselves as equal partners, neither believing that one had to control the other.  

my wife made many sacrifices so that i could pursue my career.  when we concluded together that i needed to pursue a master's degree, followed by a doctorate, she gave up her job and moved with me so that i could enter a doctoral program in another state.  we sold our home and lived in a typical married students' apartment while i completed by year of residency.  by the time i completed my course work, the job market had dried up, and we were forced to take whatever jobs we could find.  we worked together to make ends meet and provide for ourselves and our young daughter until i finally landed a good teaching job, forcing us to move yet again.  through it all, my wife supported my endeavors and worked with me as our standard of living gradually improved.

our son came along, and we enjoyed our nice middle-class lives in jobs we both found rewarding.  unexpectedly, the administration of my school district changed, and the new superintendent was less supportive of the fine arts program in which i worked than our previous leader had been.  suddenly, i found myself out of a job, and we were forced to move once more so i could continue my teaching career.  my wife never complained.  she gave up her job and took another job which she hated.  yet, she gritted her teeth and made our lives together work while she pursued a masters degree and found another job that was more satisfying.

as we continued our lives, our financial situation improved.  we were able to pay for both our children to complete their bachelor's degrees and to build up reserves to support us in our retirement years.  through it all, we drew closer to one another, realizing that we were not only spouses but best friends.  we suffered through the deaths of our parents, seeing in those losses the need for us to relish each moment that remained to us.  in our twilight years, we find that we enjoy being together now more than ever.  my wife encourages me to pursue activities that i enjoy, even when those activities don't interest her, just as i encourage her in her active social life.  our mutual interests--travel, dining out, spending time with other couples who are our friends, watching movies--are rewarding and draw us closer together with each passing day.  neither of us can imagine life without the other, even while we recognize that some day that may become a reality.

i am grateful that we've had a long and happy life together.  i am grateful for my wife's consistent encouragement of and support for me no matter the circumstances.  i am grateful for the two wonderful children we've raised.  i am grateful that we've learned to work together and that each of us loves the other as we love ourselves.

may we all find such happiness in our relationships.  may we recognize the benefits of loving long and deeply.  may we let go of the selfish need to control and think instead of the needs of others.  may we relish the days we have, knowing how precious each of them is.  shalom.

Love Incarnate

we have known and believe the love that God has for us.  God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. . . the commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.  1 john 4: 16, 21

a few weeks ago, my wife and i met some relatives in northern kentucky to tour the ark encounter.  as we approached the ark, we were amazed by its enormity.  it is, according to the official brochure, the largest freestanding timber frame structure in the world.  during our tour of the various levels of displays, i began to wonder what important lessons could be learned from the story of noah and the ark.  one is that God can use flawed people like noah to accomplish great things.  another is that it is our responsibility to see that God's work of creation is preserved, rather than exploiting it for our own wealth and comfort.

as christmas approaches, i think about the messages contained in the christmas stories in matthew's and luke's gospels.  like the residents of bethlehem that mary and joseph encountered, do we turn a blind eye to the countless homeless around us?  should we be proclaiming God's message of peace and good will to a warring, intolerant world just as the heavenly host proclaimed that message to the poorest of the poor, the "shepherds abiding in the field keeping watch over their flock by night?"  we watch as millions are forced to flee their homes to live in strange lands and are reminded of the flight of joseph, mary, and the infant jesus to egypt to escape a tyrant in their own homeland.

each christmas we are called to remember that the birth of a child to a young woman accompanied by an impoverished carpenter in a manger in a small village in an obscure backwater of the vast roman empire was the turning point of history.  the message of christmas didn't occur in the roman seat of power.  the proclamation of peace and good will didn't come to the wealthy living in opulence.  God uses the humblest of vessels to contain the most profound truths, and christmas calls on us to examine the seemingly unimportant to discover what God may have in store for us, calling on us to remember that, as christina rosetti wrote in 1865, love came down at christmas,/love all lovely, love divine;/love was born at christmas;/star and angels gave the sign.  love shall be our token;/love be yours and love be mine;/love to God and others,/love for plea and gift and sign.  shalom.

                                

A Song of Thanksgiving

thanksgiving day in the usa has just passed, and this week i want to write about someone for whom i am grateful, my father.  there are many others about whom i could write, but, in keeping with my previous post about awakening to the happiness i knew as i child, my mind goes back to my relationship with my father.

for much of my life, i wasted time resenting my father.  i saw the favoritism he showed to my younger brother and felt ignored and neglected by him.  since my recent epiphany, i see that view was unfair.  his gratitude for my brother's recovery from an illness that could have resulted in his death made dad recall how sick my brother had been and how fortunate we all were that he survived.  what i saw as favoritism was dad's rejoicing in my brother's survival.  dad should have realized how i reacted to his displays of affection for my brother and treated us both the same, taking time to explain to me why he acted as he did toward my brother.  that wasn't dad's nature.  he was unable to put into words his deepest emotions, just as his own father seemed incapable of expressing his love for his children.  i never remember my paternal grandfather embracing any member of his family or telling them that he loved them.  my father was brought up to believe that men did not engage in such displays of affection, even for their own children.  my dad's way for showing his affection toward and gratitude for my brother's escape from death was to shower him with gifts and to indulge his every want.

now that i'm older, i understand my dad and can recall the evolution of his attitude toward me.  by the time i reached high school, he accepted that i would never be the son he wanted me to be.  i was studious and a lover of music.  athletics held no interest for me.  as my high grades and musical awards and performances became objects of admiration for others, my dad realized that he had a son he could be proud of, even though i didn't follow the path he wanted for me.  

one incident stands out from my junior year of high school.  i played the clarinet in the school band and had won numerous awards for my playing.  i had reached the point that my five-year-old beginner clarinet was inadequate and needed to be replaced by a professional level instrument.  though these were expensive, my dad found the money to buy me a new instrument.  he took a day off work and took me out of school for a day to go to the nearest large city where there were numerous music stores to find a clarinet for me.  i can still see the pride in his face as we went from store to store with me trying out various clarinets as the store employees complimented him and me on how well i played.  when a decision to buy a particular instrument was finally made, dad paid for it in cash, and we left the store with my new prized possession.  the elation in his face matched that in mine, and the drive home brought us together in a way that had never happened before.  i saw that dad did love me as much as he loved my younger brother and sister and that he was as proud of me as he would have been if i had been selected as the outstanding player on one of the school's sports teams.  i will always treasure that trip that we made, just the two of us, to enable me to pursue my musical studies because my dad saw how important it was to me.

now that dad has passed away, i wish that i could tell him how much i love him and appreciate the sacrifices he made for me.  i'm finally able to forgive old hurts and understand their source.  i hope that i haven't hurt my own children in the same way my dad unintentionally hurt me and that they are able to forgive my mistakes as a parent while i am still alive.  dad did the best he could and can't be blamed for following the example set for him by his own father.  he worked hard all his life and wanted the best for all three of his children.  i hope i have done the same for my two children.

 

may we be the parents our children need us to be.  may we express our love to them each time we are with them.  may we support them, even when their path is not the path we would have chosen for them.  may we teach them the importance of lovingkindness and compassion by our example.  may we let go of old hurts and seek to understand the reasons they occurred.  shalom.

Dust Off the Sun and Moon

a few nights ago, i awoke in the middle of the night with a feeling of elation, an awakening on several levels.  i recalled many happy times in my childhood.  i remembered baseball games we attended as a family, watching the farm league team in a nearby large city and gorging on hot dogs and soda.  i remembered hopping on my bike in the summer and riding for hours on ends with my friends, the warm sun turning my skin a golden brown.  i remembered building cities and roads in the dirt under the giant sweet gum tree in the yard of my friend down the street or in the kitchen play yard behind our house.  i remembered spending weeks in the summer with my maternal and paternal grandparents.  

i remembered walking with my cousin from my mother's parents' home to the movie theaters downtown and looking at the toy departments in the five-and-dime stores after the movie, then riding the bus back to near their home/grocery store and walking the two blocks from the bus stop to their store.  i remembered how fascinated i was with their store and its customers and the delicious food my grandmother made in her kitchen, while my grandfather tended the store a few steps away.  i remembered how amazed i was that she could so quickly prepare her wonderful meals in just a few minutes' time so that she could return and help wait on customers in the store.  i remembered walking from their store to the public library several blocks down the street and spending hours there reading among the two floors of books.

i remembered the contrast with my father's parents' home, which was always quiet, as my grandfather spent the day in his sunroom at one end of the house while my grandmother tended to household chores at the other end, seeing them together only at meal times.  there i spent my time reading, watching television, or talking to my grandmother as she worked, with occasional trips with her to the stores in her town's small shopping district or to visit her friends around town.  the pace of life at their home was much slower than at my mother's parents'.  there were no nearby relatives to come and visit, no cousins to play with, but i loved being there just the same.

i remembered going to stay at my father's sister's home for a few days during the summer.  her husband was well off, and they had a beautiful home.  her two children, my first cousins, were somewhat snobby and looked down on their "country cousin," but i didn't care.  i loved my aunt, and she doted on me when i came to stay.  she was a smoker, and i loved the smell of her cigarette smoke that permeated the house.  of all my relatives, their house was the only one with central air conditioning, a rarity in those days, and the smell of that smoke after it was filtered through the central cooling system was unique and wonderful to me.  when i think of my aunt, it's that smell and her reddish brown hair that i remember.

my list could go on and on.  those memories came back as never before.  before when i recalled my childhood, the thing i most remembered was my father's distance from me and my jealousy of the affection he held for my younger brother.  on this night, though, i was filled with a deep gratitude to my father.  i realized that he had made many sacrifices for me and for his family and that, because of his upbringing, he had no model of a close, affectionate father, since his own was distant and work-absorbed.  somehow the recollections of a happy, privileged childhood and the sense of love and gratefulness for my father stirred a deep joy in me that was not there before.  i don't regret the lost sleep that those vivid memories caused.  rather, i hope never to lose that sense of waking up to long-suppressed and seemingly forgotten days of a wonderful childhood.

may we all awaken to whatever joys the past may have held.  may we be grateful for happy, carefree days during this season of thanksgiving and carry that sense of gratitude through the rest of our lives.  may we forgive the hurts of the past and seek to understand those who caused them.  may we see that the good outweighs the bad in most instances, and may a deep, abiding happiness be ours.  shalom.

I'd Hammer Out Danger

 the usa is living in the aftermath of the trump presidency.  the republican party has become the trump party.  those republicans who dare to condemn the former president and his anti-democratic actions are ostracized and threatened by trump's allies.  the republican members of the house of representatives who voted in favor of the infrastructure bill negotiated by a bipartisan team of senators are in danger of losing their committee assignments at the hands of the "ever-trumpers" in the house who believe that keeping in trump's good graces is more important that the well-being of the nation.

president biden is dealing with the mess he inherited from trump and is taking the blame for situations, like the afghanistan withdrawal and inflation, that were not of his making.  the democratic majority in the house and senate has squandered his electoral victory by arguing amongst themselves rather than working together to support the president's agenda.  now it appears that their control of both houses of congress is in jeopardy unless they can take speedy action and then convince the american people that the can govern effectively.

the conservative majority on the supreme court threatens to undo years of progress in the areas of women's rights and access to the ballot.  the only remedy may be to increase the number of justices to thwart the direction the originalists on the court seem intent on taking the country.  the court is allowing republican majorities in statehouses across the country to engineer electoral districts to perpetuate their power despite the decline in the number of republican voters.  at the same time, these republican-controlled legislatures are restricting the ability of poor and minority voters to have access to the ballot box, making it more difficult for democrat-leaning voters to participate in elections.

the shadow of trump continues to threaten the nation.  one can only hope that most americans see his failed policies for what they are: an attempt to subvert the democratic process and the constitution in order to enrich himself and satisfy his narcissistic megalomania.  the only way around the electoral engineering designed to keep republicans in power at the state level and to return republicans to power at the national level is for those opposed to trump and his minions to turn out in huge numbers, despite the changes that have been put in place to make it harder for them to vote.  democrats must pass national voting rights legislation and the "build back better" act, and they must convince the american people that these bills are what the nation needs if its promise is to be realized by all its citizens.  we must stop trump and those who support him for gaining control of the country.

may we see trump for what he is: a greedy, selfish man who will use power to advance himself no matter the cost to others.  may we support those who have a vision that makes life better for all americans.  may we turn from a path that will destroy our democracy and embrace pluralism, tolerance, and the desire to help one another.  may we be controlled by love rather than hate.  shalom.

Peace Like A River

this morning i'm thinking of several related words and phrases and how to apply their qualities to my life.  they have similar meanings, and we often use them interchangeably, though there are subtle differences in them.  i'm thinking of words like patience, long-suffering, even-minded calm, constancy, and equanimity.   i used to pray for patience, until i realized the negative implications of the word.  when we are patient, it is usually because something is going on that we must endure though we'd rather not have the need to be patient--something like having to wait in a line for our turn or sit through a boring lecture or conversation.  certainly, patience is a virtue that we need, but i came to realize that there is something better than having patience.

the same is true for being long-suffering, which i think of as a somewhat biblical word.  when we are long-suffering, we are being forced to put up with something unpleasant that may go on for quite some time.  to be long-suffering is to be patient for weeks or months or years, as we wait for unpleasantness or pain to come to an end.  what is needed is a mental attitude that recognizes that suffering, whether short-term or long-term, is a part of life, just as happiness is.  as i turned from a desire to be patient or long-suffering, i sought to find a way to recognize both pleasant and unpleasant situations and the emotions that arise from them in such a way that i accepted those emotions without giving them control of me.

that is where the ideas of constancy, even-minded calm, and equanimity came into play.  i think it was a teaching of jack kornfield that first suggested to me that being constant was a better way of thinking about how to be that being patient.  if i could develop a way to be constant in the face of difficulties and to see them as part of the fabric of life that we all share, then i could replace the concept of enduring these problems with a recognition that it is better to accept them and realize that they are passing.  to be constant is to develop an even-minded calm or equanimity that allows the mind to turn from its turmoil during times of trouble and from its highs in good times, realizing that these emotions are natural but not who we are.  we can accept the emotions that come with suffering and happiness without believing that the emotions are us--they are simply something that we feel on a temporary basis, and they soon pass.

i had a chance to practice constancy a few days ago.  i was trying to purchase a rather expensive needed item in a chain store.  their online store showed that it was on sale.  in the physical store, it was not on sale, though i could purchase at the sale price online and pick up the item in the local branch of the store.  the procedure for doing so was complicated and confusing, and i became quite frustrated as i tried to negotiate the online procedure while in the store.  i could feel my bad temper rising and almost lashed out at the store employees.  i caught myself, thinking that none of this is their fault nor mine.  neither they nor i had control over the design of the website.  as they tried to help me figure out how to get my purchase for the best price, i realized that my anger was passing and that what was needed was constancy, even-minded calm, equanimity, and most of all gratitude to the workers in the store for their willingness to assist me as best they could.  i left the store with my purchase at the sale price and with some pride in myself that i had not allowed my fleeting anger to boil over but had replaced it with heart-felt thanks to those who were willing to help me.

may we recognize and accept our emotions, neither wallowing in them or condemning ourselves for feeling them.  may we live our lives with an underlying sense of constant calm as emotions come and go.  may we see ourselves for who we are, not as the pawn of negative or positive emotions.  may we truly be peaceful and at ease.  shalom.

Our Heart's True Home

last week, my wife and i both had surgeries.  mine was relatively minor and required little recovery time.  it was performed at the doctor's office and involved removing a small skin cancer that had returned.  one layer of skin was surgically removed and biopsied.  once it was determined that there were no more cancer cells below that level, the wound was stitched up, and i was sent home.  there was some soreness and pain for a couple of days that required medication to ease.  beyond that, all i had to do was care for the wound site and endure the appearance of the small scar as it heals.

my wife's surgery was more involved.  she had to go to the hospital's outpatient center, where she was sedated and taken to an operating theater.  incisions were made that allowed for laparoscopic surgery on her heart to treat atrial fibrillation.  her recovery time lasted most of the day, so we were there from 5:30 in the morning until 6:30 that evening.  we were delighted that she was able to return home rather than spending a night in the hospital, even though we had a two-hour drive in pouring rain over a difficult highway at night.

fortunately, our daughter was able to come stay with us for several days to help both of us as we recovered at home.  our son came and spent the weekend, helping us after his sister left to return home.  without their help, life would have been difficult for us.  my wife was very weak and tired from her ordeal, and i didn't feel nearly as well as i usually do.  my surgery along with the long wait and worry over my wife's surgery had taken a toll on me.

when we were left at home by ourselves, i felt completely exhausted.  i told my wife that i had never felt so old.  for the first time, my age was a factor in my well being, and i understood at last how my father must have felt during my mother's extended illness and after her death.  i wish now i had been more understanding and patient with him but we aren't able to put ourselves in another's shoes until we have a similar experience.  i went to bed after that first day after the children were gone somewhat depressed and very weary.  my wife felt bad because she thought that she was the cause of my ill feeling.  i assured her that the way i felt wasn't her fault; it was the natural result of a very tiring week finally catching up with me, once i realized that her care was now entirely in my hands.

after a good night's sleep, i awakened much more like my usual self.  i was ready to face the day, and the weariness of the previous day was gone.  we don't have any pressing responsibilities this week unless some emergency arises, so i should be able to take it easy and recover my strength.  my wife's recuperation seems to be going well.  though she can't do much other than rest, she will slowly regain her former vigor, i feel certain.  within a couple of weeks we will be able to return to our normal routine, and she will feel much more energetic as a result of her operation.  i am optimistic about the coming days and excited that we should have many more years ahead of us to enjoy our lives together.

may each of us see that negative emotions don't have to be permanent.  may we take the time we need to allow our bodies to recharge.  may we relish each good moment we have and learn from each bad one, giving thanks for the benefits of both.  may we understand that there is an arc to our lives and accept the passing years as common to all of us.  shalom.

Bless the Light That Reason Lends

 we have returned from our travels and are grateful for the natural beauty we enjoyed on our journey, as well as for our safe arrival back home.  one of the last stops we made was at the "ark encounter," which bills itself as an authentic replica of noah's ark that is described in the book of genesis.  this ark is a gigantic wooden structure, claiming to be the largest timber frame building in the world.  if an ancient israelite, such as noah, had built such a boat, it would never have been seaworthy, resulting in the end of all creatures on the earth, if the genesis story is to be believed as literal truth.

the kentucky ark is a boondoggle in many ways:

• it is obviously a money-making scheme for its creator, ken ham.  everywhere one turns, there is an opportunity to spend more money.  there are zip-line and virtual reality adventures, along with multiple gift shops and concession stands.  it costs ten dollars to park your car, on top of the fee for entering the ark.  as seniors we paid a discounted rate of about forty dollars per person for admission; a regular adult ticket costs fifty dollars.
• the ark displays teach that the bible is literally true in every detail.
• there are displays that insist that dinosaurs and humans lived on the earth at the same time.  "baby" dinosaurs, including tyrannosaurus rex, are portrayed as some of the inhabitants of noah's ark.
• one of the presentations tells us that all humankind is descended from noah's three sons and their wives.  one pair parented all inhabitants of africa, another all europeans and asians, and the third all people of middle-eastern descent.
• the ark's creator insists that the earth is only six thousand or so years old and that the universe was created in six days, as the book of genesis tells us.  he presents a timeline that purports to explain how all of earth's history fits a literal interpretation of the biblical account.
• though the pairs of animals in the ark encounter are limited to only a few species, (between 60 and 70, if i remember correctly), ham insists that all animals that exist today are descended from this limited animal population.  using his reasoning, every type of bovine on earth now descended from the one pair of this "type," as ham describes each pair, so that we are to believe that bison and oxen, as well as every other bovine, are descendants of the single pair of cattle on the ark.

this list could go on and on.  ham has built a "creation museum" about an hour away from the ark encounter that reinforces and expands on the presentations in the ark encounter.  fortunately, we did not have an opportunity to invest more money in his denials of science.  we went to the ark encounter because some close relatives who met us in kentucky as we were returning home sincerely believe in what ham teaches.  we didn't want to cause pain to these relatives or engage in a debate with them about their beliefs, so we went through the ark with them and refrained from discussing what we saw while we were with them.

we think that a great deal of harm flows from ham and others like him who insist that credible scientists in many fields are wrong about the history of the universe.  this denial of scientific evidence is the source of a mindset that leads people to refuse vaccines that are safe and effective, to believe in racist points of view based on misunderstanding about the contents of the bible, and a refusal to associate with diverse groups of people who are different from them in many ways.  the "young earth creationist" philosophy distorts the teachings of the bible and turns the bible into something that it is not: a collection of valid historical writings.  when one insists on a literal reading of the contents of the bible, the more profound truths that underlie many of the stories in the bible are lost.  for instance, what are we to make of the two visions of God presented in the noah story?  are we to believe in a vengeful god that would destroy all living beings because of the sins of many, in a god that would select the members of one family for survival while all others are destroyed, or in a God that values life and vows never to cause such destruction again?  it seems to me that the latter vision of God is the understanding that ought to be valid for followers of jesus, rather than the legalistic god that is so often portrayed in the writings of the old testament and continues to be seen in versions of christianity that focus on humans as corrupt and depraved.

may we use our brains to ferret out the truth, rather than succumbing to superstition.  may we not confuse religion and science, making of each something it was never intended to be.  if we believe in a god, may that god be a God of love and mercy.  shalom.

Homeward Bound

 tomorrow we will start our journey towards home.  i know that as we travel westward over the next four days i will have little time to write, so today i'm writing a brief meditation about what's on my mind.  i jotting this down quickly and won't even take time to proofread.  please forgive any mistakes.  

last week i wrote about attachment to possessions.  we can be attached to so many things, and as i contemplate the upcoming trip, i think about my attachment to home.  after being away, i long for home.  i wonder how those who have no fixed home deal with their wandering.  i wonder if they long for home or if home has a different meaning for them.  i wonder if i can let go of my attachment to the idea of home.

we are attached to so much, not just home or possessions.  we are attached to our spouse, our children, our extended family, our friends, our concept of who we are, our thought, the foods we love.  the list could go on.  so as i think about attachment, i wonder if i could ever let go of all my attachments, or if i should release myself from attachment.  this is what i will think of in the moments i have for solitary thought during our trip back to where we started our adventure.

in the meantime, may we all be peaceful and at ease.  shalom.

Live, Love, Laugh, and Be Happy

 as we've been on our travels, one of the things we've enjoyed doing is going through "antique malls" where collectors rent small spaces within a large warehouse sort of building where they display things they want to sell .  much of what we see are small knickknacks and household goods, such as dishes and stemware, that were once treasures in someone's home.  i often think about the former owners of these things.  what were their lives like?  how would they feel if they could see the things they loved displayed for sell in such a place?

during our lives, we collect so many things.  in our own home, we have many sets of dishes that we love to use.  we have crystal stemware for special occasions.  we have beautiful objects that we delight in.  we have furniture that has special meaning for us and that we have enjoyed using through our years together.  when we are gone, little of it will find a place in our children's homes.  most of the things we have delighted in will either be sold in an estate sale or wind up in an antique mall somewhere.  no one who sees what we have collected during our lives will know our history or the special meaning these objects held for us.  the detritus of our existence will be dispersed for someone else's enjoyment or profit, and our lives will be but memories to those who knew us.

this is the common experience of all of us.  our worldly possessions will pass from us at some point, perhaps when we are forced to move into smaller living quarters or into a care facility because of the infirmities of old age, perhaps when we pass from this existence.  the joys and cares of our lives will disappear with these objects, and it will be as if we had not existed, except in others' memories and in the good and bad we have done during our lifetimes.  we hope that our lives will be cherished by those we have touched during our time on this earth, but our bodies will disintegrate and return to the earth from which we came.  the saying, "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" is so true, and it is the ultimate end that all of us have in common.  the objects we loved will take on different meanings than what they meant to us.  our association with them will be forgotten.

may we remember that what is important is the good that we do, not how much we possess.  in the end, those possessions become meaningless, except to those who knew us most intimately.  may we cherish the memories that are associated with the things that we love, while releasing ourselves from attachment to them.  may we distinguish between what is essential and what is not.  may we not cling to or crave that which is not essential.  may we know that in the end, only lovingkindness and compassion are truly important.  shalom.

On the Road Again 2

 my wife and i are traveling.  right now we are in the shenandoah valley of virginia.  today we are going into west virginia to see one of the most famous bridges in the usa--the bridge over the new river gorge.  we have seen so much beautiful natural scenery on this trip: mountains, forests, waterfalls, rivers, lakes, and streams of various sizes.  my time for writing is limited, so i will close with this:

may you be filled with lovingkindness and compassion;

may you be well;

may you be peaceful and at ease;

may you be joyful.

Here Is That Rainbow

 a few days ago, my brother would have celebrated his seventieth birthday.  he died three years ago, not long after we moved to our new home here in the mountains.  he was five years younger than me, and we lived very different lives.  as i think of him, memories come flooding back.  when he was born, my parents were building a new home on property next to the building where we had rented an apartment for the previous four years, so his birth coincided with our preparations to move into the home our parents had built for their growing family.

my brother and i shared a bedroom in this new home once he was old enough to move from his crib/youth bed in my parents' bedroom.   i started first grade just before my brother turned one-year-old.  this meant that as he grew from a baby into a young child i was away from home most of the day.  i was so wrapped up in my new life as a schoolboy that i paid little attention to my brother.  where i was very independent and self-contained, he was a "mama's boy," clinging to my mother and never wanting to be far from her.

i loved to go stay with my grandparents during the summer.  during the first summer after i completed first grade, i spent two weeks with my mother's parents and two weeks with my father's parents, a pattern i continued until i reached high school.  near the end of the summer just before my brother's fourth birthday while i was staying with my mother's parents, my brother was stricken with a life-threatening illness.  my parents made a desperate drive to the larger town where my grandparents lived in the middle of the night to get my brother to the hospital.  he spent several weeks in the hospital, fighting for his life.  in those days, children weren't allowed to visit in the hospital, so i couldn't go see him.  i can remember standing outside the hospital while my mother brought my brother to the window so we could see each other once he had recovered enough to leave his hospital bed.  i felt so helpless standing there waving up to him and wishing that i could just give him a hug.  he looked so frail, and it was then that i realized how close we had come to losing him.

that illness changed the dynamics of our family in many ways.  my father, who had never been close to me as he was consumed with his work, doted on my brother.  he never lost sight of how close my brother had come to death, and anything he wanted my father got for him.  my brother used my father's fear of losing him to manipulate my father, as children will do.  i remember many family shopping trips when my brother would see a toy he wanted.  if my parents told him he couldn't have it, he would throw himself to the floor, kicking and screaming, until my father agreed to purchase for him.  i grew to resent this seeming favoritism towards my brother and began demanding that my father treat me equally.  my mother pointed out to my father that i was right to feel as i did, and, from that point on, anytime my brother wrangled a new toy out of my father, my dad gave me some money for my little savings account.  now, i understand why Dad gave in to my brother, as every day he was reminded how close to death my brother had been.

because of the difference in our temperaments and ages, my brother and i were never really close, though we shared a room.  he was more athletic than i, though neither of us were that interested in sports.  we both loved music, and both of us took piano lessons and played band instruments.  i was more serious about music than my brother and made it my career, but my brother became interested in acting.  he starred in many amateur productions in college and later as an adult.  he went to work on a boat that did oil exploration in oceans all over the world after dropping out of college and saw much of the world as a result.  he eventually married a young woman from thailand and brought her home to the states after the birth of their son.

when my nephew was five, my brother and his wife divorced, and she and my nephew moved away while my brother continued to work on the ship.  when that job played out, his company moved him to an office job in their headquarters in the city where his former wife and son lived.  this was a good situation for him, as he got to see his son frequently and was able to live a more settled life and renew his love for acting.  he completed his college degree and seemed to be content to live a more conventional life.  after a few years, another company bought out his company and began letting people go, including my brother.  by that time he was in his fifties and was never able to find a permanent job.  it seemed that no one wanted to hire someone his age.  he was either over-qualified for the positions available or too old.  he took a series of part-time jobs but struggled to support himself.  he tried valiantly to make a career as a professional actor and got sporadic gigs, even playing a small part in a major movie, but his career never took off.

as he aged, his health deteriorated, probably from a combination of poor nutrition, smoking, and his inability to pay for health insurance.  he was stricken with throat and oral cancer, which was eliminated by surgery and follow-up chemo and radiation treatment.  then he had pneumonia, a heart attack, and a broken hip.  once recovered from all those health crises, he decided to move to the small town where our younger sister lived.  i took a truck to the large town where he was living and helped him get moved.  he seemed quite happy with his new living situation.  my sister was at his house frequently and loved having him near her.  just as he began to get settled in and feel at home, he had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died before any medical care could reach him.  my sister was spending the night at his home when this happened, so he was not alone when he died.

every year on his birthday, the struggles he faced come flooding back.  he worked so hard to make a good life for himself and to support his son.  he was the kindest of men, constantly taking in stray animals that were destined for euthanasia were it not for his generosity.  it seems as if all the goodness he embodied went unrewarded, with life constantly slapping him down.  yet, he never gave up.  when a door was slammed in his face, he looked for another to open.  i have to believe that the good karma he generated resulted in a better life for him after this one ended.  wherever my brother is, i hope that he is happy and surrounded by loved ones and pets who adore him.

may we do the best we can, no matter the circumstances of our lives.  may we learn from those who persevere in the face of every challenge.  may we never give up on lovingkindness and compassion.  may we not live to be rewarded for our good behavior but in order to make life better for those around us.  shalom.

Wake, Now, My Reason

 we humans are quite gullible.  for example, shortly after we moved here about four years ago, we went with some friends to listen to a sales pitch out of curiosity and because of the offer of a free meal at a local restaurant.  the room where the presentation was made was packed, so we weren't the only ones around who were lured by the offer of a meal at no cost.  the product being offered was a seat and back cushion that contained some "powerful" magnets.  these magnets, we were told, would cure most anything wrong with us, particularly back pain.  some members of the audience were asked to try the cushions out, and unsurprisingly they reported that their pain was instantly cured.  my wife and i were astounded that a number of people in attendance bought into this scam, including the husband of the couple we came with.  how could anyone believe that this cushion was worth the several hundred dollars that it sold for?  some people even bought extra magnets at an exorbitant price because the salesman convinced them that adding more magnets increased the curative powers of his product.

as i think of the people that are being taken in by hucksters with regard to the covid-19 virus, i remember that sales pitch from a few years ago.  unproven "cures," such as ivermectin, are promoted by a few commentators on tv, and thousands of people are convinced that now they have nothing to fear from covid infection.  this horse dewormer was endorsed by their favorite right-wing personality as an effective treatment, and, of course, they believe that this person knows more that all the scientists and medical experts who are telling them that this treatment is hogwash.  the same was true for hydroxychloroquine, an antimalarial drug that was promoted by former president trump as a covid treatment.  despite all the medical evidence, there were those who believed that this drug was the answer to their fears about being infected, primarily because trump endorsed it.

the same sort of trickery is seen in our religious beliefs.  we are willing to believe the most incredible tales if they appear in a "holy" book or if they are told by a charismatic preacher.  order the miraculous prayer cloth or place your hands on the radio or tv as the preacher prays and you can be cured of any disease.  send money and "god" will bless you.  attend and contribute to the right church, say the right words, or perform the right rituals and you will spend eternity in a bliss-filled heaven.  we can suspend our reasoning powers and buy into the malarkey that passes for "true" religion because it is easier to accept what someone else says than to think through things for ourselves.  what the peddlers of phony medical treatments and phony religion are selling is hope, not reason.  why do the hard work of thinking when it is so much easier to accept what another says.

may we not fall for the propaganda that we hear and see on television, radio, and the internet.  may we examine all claims and ferret out what makes sense and what doesn't.  may we use our brains to sort out fact from fiction.  may we not adopt any belief simply because those around us endorse it or because it is handed down to us by our parents.  may reason triumph over unreason.  shalom.

To Promote the General Welfare

 recently president biden announced that the labor department of the federal government would begin requiring that all employees of businesses in which one hundred or more workers are employed must be vaccinated against covid-19 or undergo weekly covid testing.  many such employers already require their employees to be vaccinated as a condition of their continuing employment.  while on the face of it, this may seem to be governmental intrusion into the lives of millions of individuals, the underlying reasoning is that employees who are unvaccinated may easily spread the virus to other employees who must work in close proximity to the unvaccinated.  these employees have no choice if they wish to continue their employment, so being forced to work alongside unvaccinated fellow workers is a threat to everyone's health.  when someone catches the virus at work, they then take it home to their families, further accelerating the spread of the virus.  a course of action like the one the biden administration is taking is a better alternative than once more shutting down the economy in an enforced quarantine for everyone.

as we think about the continued refusal of many to take a vaccine that has been proven to be safe and effective, a mandate to be vaccinated is necessary.  if we cannot stop the spread and continued mutation of this virus into increasingly virulent forms, we cannot function as a society.  even those who have been vaccinated will be susceptible to infection if a vaccine-resistant strain of the virus emerges, as it surely will unless most people join the ranks of the vaccinated.  nearly universal vaccination for other diseases is required in this country.  why should covid-19 be any different?

i recently read a report about a county in a neighboring state in which the vast majority of its residents have refused the vaccine.  though the residents are watching as friends and loved ones succumb to the virus, many of them dying or suffering long-term effects, most are still suspicious of the vaccine.  practices to diminish the spread of infection, such as mask-wearing and social distancing, are ridiculed.  many of those who have been vaccinated have done so secretly so that their neighbors are unaware of their status because it is socially unacceptable in this small county to take the vaccine.  those interviewed were wary of the federal government and its motives in urging people to take the vaccine.  some said that the development had deliberately been slowed in order to insure the defeat of donald trump in the last election, and, therefore, to take the vaccine is to be pro-biden.  against the  backdrop of thinking such as this, it seems the only way to increase the rate of vaccination is to adopt a mandate such as the one the president announced.

another argument that the anti-vaccine proponents have put forward is the fatalist proposition that when "god calls your number", you will die, regardless of the cause.   "you have to die of something," these folks say, so, knowing as "christians" that they will go to a better place when they die, they claim to have nothing to fear if and when they catch covid.  "god" will protect them.  if "god" does not keep them safe from infection, then it is "god's" will that they catch the vaccine.  if they die from it, that, too, is "god's" will.  God deliver us from such "god-fearing" christians.

may we act in our own self-interest and that of those around us by being immunized against covid-19.  may we put aside faulty reasoning and suspicions of the government's intentions and listen to medical experts and scientists.  may we understand that part of living in a free society is feeling responsible for the well-being of all those in the society.  instead of opposing sensible regulations intended to keep us all safe, may we support those who are acting in all of our best interests.  shalom.

Doubt Not Our Inmost Wants Are Known

 i've written before about the idea that so many christians have that God has a plan for each of our lives.  i was reminded of this belief a few days ago when another couple came to our home to visit and play cards.  we had never spent time together in this way, though my wife and the wife who was a part of the other couple had played bridge a few times.  as we talked about our past experiences, each of them recounted incidents in their lives when they believed God had caused events to happen that changed the direction of their lives.  they were not the type of people who "wore their religion on their sleeves," but i could tell from several remarks each made that they subscribed to this calvinist view of how God worked in individual lives and in the world.

after they left, i thought about how many christians often attribute serendipitous events to God.  it's only a step from this view of life to one that sees the hand of God in every event.  a fatalist philosophy of life takes away one's own will to change or influence events, since all has been preordained by God.  we often see some of this line of thinking when someone dies despite the fervent prayers of loved ones for a miraculous cure and the best efforts of medical professionals.  "God needs him more than we do," or "our lives are in God's hand" are frequent sentiments we hear at the time of another's death, as if God is the cause of death rather than old age, heart disease, or cancer.  we forget that death is as much a part of life as is birth.  

perhaps we have more in common with ancient peoples who attributed inexplicable natural phenomena to the gods than we would like to think.  it is difficult to accept that things just happen, that events in our lives are not the result of some divine plan.  something fortuitous or disastrous can occur without any manipulation by supernatural forces.  we happen to be in the right place or the wrong place because that's where we happen to be, not because God intervened in our lives.  to think that circumstances occur because of "God's plan for our lives" makes us the center of everything rather than a reasonable being who is part of the great interconnected web of all things.

may we let go of the arrogance of thinking that all that happens to us is caused by a grand design devised by a supernatural being.  may we be grateful for the good in our lives and learn from the bad, coming to appreciate that the bad is often the opportunity for the greatest growth.  may we realize that there is a difference between Divine Love and divine causation, that the former can exist without the latter.  shalom.

They Are Precious in His Sight

i've just finished reading the book of joy, a book based on a series of conversations between the dalai lama and archbishop desmond tutu as recorded and moderated by douglas abrams.  at the end of the book there is a chapter that outlines various meditations that reflect the teachings of the two great spiritual leaders.  one of those meditations concerns the setting of intentions for each day.  yesterday i spent part of my morning meditation time pondering what my intention for the day should be.  

my intention for the day yesterday was to not say anything negative about another person.  i was surprised that i had managed to achieve my goal when i reviewed my day late in the afternoon.  i was proud of myself for having managed not to speak critically of anyone the entire day.  i thought that perhaps there is something to this idea of beginning the day with some thought given to what i hoped to achieve in the way of being a better person.  i'm excited to realize that i may be able to change and become a more joyful and compassionate person even after almost three-quarters of a century of living this life.  i'm not stuck being the person i am today; tomorrow i may become a "new and improved" version of myself.

so as i write this little post, i am thinking about an intention for this day, as well as keeping to my intention for yesterday.  today i hope to see each person i encounter as a small child that i must care for, as loving parents care for their own children.  to do this, i must see that their physical needs are met, that they have enough to eat, that they are comfortable.  i must also think of their emotional needs.  are they hurting because of some loss?  has someone or something caused suffering for them?  in writing about this intention, i realize that what i have set for myself is a difficult task.  if i can achieve my goal, i will have made a number of other lives better and helped others to find joy.

may i succeed at the task i've set for myself.  may each of us have the intention of making life better for others and thereby for ourselves.  may we see our mutual interdependence and the connection of all things.  may we look for the good in even the most difficult beings and wish them well.  may we be grateful for the blessings we enjoy and learn from that which causes us to suffer.  may we be willing to forgive even when we are unable to or should not forget.  shalom.

Human Hearts and Looks Deceive Me

 the world has watched the disturbing images coming from afghanistan as western armed forces and citizens withdraw from the country.  as would be expected, politicians in the united states have tried to spin events to their own advantage.  americans overwhelmingly support bringing the troops home and ending our involvement in the affairs of afghanistan.  having spent in the neighborhood of a trillion dollars over nearly twenty years and having lost the lives of almost 2,500 soldiers with about 21,000 more injured, our country has paid a dear price for the costly war and attempt at nation building.  as we never seem to learn from past experiences, the impulse to make the lives of people in other countries better by our armed intervention, followed by efforts to impose our idea of a proper government, is wrong-headed and presumptuous.  

while the rights of women in afghanistan improved enormously during the allied occupation, those gains are all but certain to be diminished and perhaps entirely reversed under a taliban-controlled government, as will many other basic human rights.  the corruption of the government we supported seems to have given ordinary afghans little confidence in their leaders' ability to improve their lives.  its quick collapse and that of the army and police that operated under it are an indication that those at the highest level of government were more concerned with their own survival and enrichment than with helping their fellow afghans.

our hearts go out to the people of afghanistan as these tragic events play out.  we feel compassion for those who aided the american military and who are now in danger of reprisals from the taliban and hope that those who wish to flee are successful in doing so with or without our help.  we will now undergo months of wrenching congressional and press investigations of the agreement between the trump administration and the taliban and oversight of that agreement's implementation by the administration of president biden.  if the taliban enjoys so little popular support in afghanistan, one wonders why the well-equipped military didn't resist rather than collapsing.  afghan politics is far more complicated than a simple choice between a corrupt western-style government and an extremist islamic state.  when most afghans live in abject poverty, struggling to keep themselves and their families alive, who controls the government is far less important that keeping body and soul together.

may we learn from the lessons of afghanistan.  may we in the west, and particularly in the united states, see that our powers are limited and that we do not have the right to impose our will on other nations.  may the people of afghanistan find their way forward from the mess we have created and develop a nation that meets their needs rather than ours.  may we address the current situation with compassion and understanding rather than using it for our own narrow political purposes.  shalom.

Till Selfish Gain No Longer Strain

 i'm thinking these days about the problems facing the generations in this country who are younger than me.  during my working career and that of most others my age, we could count on finding a job that paid us a decent salary if we had a good education.  we could afford to drive a nice car, purchase a home, feed our families, and put something away for our old age.  younger people, especially those forty and below, don't find that to be the case any more.  

i'm thinking of one particular young man i know.  he has a college degree.  he is talented.  he is hard working and dependable.  he has skills that seem to find him a job anywhere but the jobs don't pay enough to afford him any more than the very basic essentials.  he can feed himself and pay rent on an apartment, but there is nothing left over at the end of the month.  he drives a twenty-year-old vehicle which, for the most part, he maintains himself.  he can't save for a home or for his retirement.  there is no room for advancement in his field.  he has reached the top rung of the ladder, though he has almost twenty years of experience.  the only way he can improve his situation is to change careers, which will necessitate a large outlay of capital for additional training.  in order to do this, he will have to go in debt and hope that he can land a new job that pays him enough to repay the debt.  he is not alone in this situation.  few young people can make enough money to fulfill the american dream unless they have a partner and can rely on two incomes.  

i think of the millions of working poor in this country.  we see them every day, pouring our drinks in the coffee shop, flipping our burgers at fast food joints, serving our food in restaurants, checking us out at the grocery store.  these folk who must work for minimum wage or perhaps slightly above it make just enough to keep their heads above water.  often they live in the most basic housing and struggle to have enough to eat.  if they have children, the struggle is even greater.

i hear employers complaining that they can't find people to fill jobs in the service industry.  they blame more generous unemployment compensation enacted during the shut-downs forced on the economy by the pandemic.  many states have ended paying out the extra money the federal government provided to boost unemployment checks, believing that people are failing to return to their minimum-wage jobs because their government dole pays them more than they could earn.  if that is the case, we have something to learn from it.  it is not that those who have not returned to the work force are lazy.  it is that there is something terribly wrong with our economy.  people who work need to earn a living wage.  we should not be subsidizing companies making billions by enabling them to pay less than a living wage while forcing their employees to rely on government assistance to put food on the table.  we speak of the dignity of work, but where is the dignity when someone works hard every day and still has to rely on the government to feed them.

the continuing concentration of wealth in the hands of a few at the expense of the rest of society must stop.  some attempts to ameliorate growing income inequality are being made at the federal level, but the business lobbyists and their allies in the republican party are doing all the can to stop these attempts by the biden administration and the democrats in the house and senate.  we must address our unjust economic situation if we are to survive as a democratic country.  keeping the american dream of prosperity for all alive must be the goal of government, business, and labor.

may we see that no one is well off if work is not rewarded fairly.  may we stop our desire to accumulate wealth at the expense of others.  may those who work hard and play by the rules be compensated commensurate with their efforts.  may we recognize that the preamble to our constitution says our government must "establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, [and] promote the general welfare."  may we understand that, without just compensation of labor, none of these can be accomplished.  shalom.

Wiling to Suffer Affliction and Loss

 i have written before about my difficulties with belief in "intercessory prayer."  most christians believe that by fervent prayer God will cure those who are sick.  we read of the many instances in which jesus cured all sorts of physical and mental illnesses.  the gospels tell us that it was his healing that attracted many to him.  this whole idea that jesus, acting on God's behalf, was able to reverse the course of disease, open the eyes of the blind, or cast out the demons of insanity with a word or a touch seems to me to be a distraction from his central message.  through his life and teachings jesus shows us that God is a god of love, not a god of vengeance and pettiness. 

 if we accept that God cures our ills of body and mind when we pray, then we may also believe that God causes those illnesses, as well.  when we get cancer, it must be God's will that we suffer from the disease.  it follows that if we beg in just the right way, then we change God's mind and are cured.  it is harder for us to recognize that suffering is a part of the human condition.  much of our suffering is caused by our own minds, but the hurts caused by disease, aging, and the loss of loved ones are pains that come to us no matter what we do or how we think.  while we can take steps that cause us to be less likely to become ill by living healthy lives that delay the effects of aging, and we can care for those we love in such a way that we are less likely to lose them.  in the end, we all get sick, we all get older, and those we love die.

 

one of the great mysteries of life is the "why" of suffering.  there is no mystery in the fact of suffering.  we all suffer.  we all die.  we can choose how we deal with suffering but we can't prevent every pain in life.  one of the poorest ways to deal with suffering, it seems to me, is to ignore our humanity and ask God to remove the causes of our suffering.  for God to do such a thing would mean that God is making us less human.  God doesn't cause our pain, and it is not God's responsibility to remove it, nor should God be expected to deal with it when we will not.  it is the nature of God to suffer along with us, to love us, and to inspire us to have compassion for the suffering of others.  to worship God is to embrace the Divine Love within us as we follow the example of jesus to love no matter what.  without suffering, we are not fully human.  without suffering, we cannot be truly joyful.  without suffering, we cannot grow and learn.  even though we hurt, we cannot enjoy the full range of our humanity unless we experience pain and loss.  it is not avoidance of suffering that we must seek, but rather the wisdom to deal with our suffering and to be grateful for it.

may we recognize our common human condition.  may we act with lovingkindness and compassion for ourselves and each other.  may we be grateful for all the gifts of life.  may we see the good that arises from our suffering.  may we turn to our inner strength to deal with our pain rather than expecting a supernatural being to remove it.  shalom.

I Set by a Deathbed in Many a Home

 we live in an area of the country that is one of the hotspots for the spread of covid-19.  just recently i read of an unvaccinated man in his 30s who had a serious case of the virus.  he lived in a tourist town about thirty miles north of our town.  when he needed to be hospitalized, his local hospital was filled to capacity because of the large number of covid cases.  his doctor was able to find a bed for him in a hospital about sixty miles to the north, though that hospital was almost full.  for a while, it didn't appear that he would pull through, and he was told that he needed to say his good-byes to his family by telephone.  soon after, his condition began to improve, though his recovery is far from being assured.  in an interview with a news reporter, again by phone since he can't have visitors at his icu bed, he said that ten members of his family had come down with covid, though his case was the most serious.   he went on to say that they were "a strong conservative family," that refused the vaccine.

as i thought about his words, i wondered what being politically conservative had to do with taking a life-saving vaccine developed during the administration of a conservative extremist with that administration's support.  how had being a trumpist come to mean being an opponent of preserving one's own life and that of one's loved ones?  are ignorance, obstinance, and lack of caring for yourself and those around you a mark of political conservatism?  our hospitals are filled with those who refused to be vaccinated.  others with medical conditions like heart disease, cancer, and broken bones can't find hospital space because of needless covid hospitalizations.  wait times in many emergency rooms last for hours because of covid infections.  those who are suffering endure long delays for treatment because of vaccine opponents.  in our state, there are no pediatric icu beds available for sick children.  as our governor has traveled around the state begging people to take the vaccine, he has been met with rude, close-minded protesters who equate taking the vaccine with surrendering to "socialism."  he has had to call the legislature into special session to try and convince them to repeal a law they just passed that prohibits schools from requiring masks as more and more children fall victim to the delta variant, at the time schools are set to fully reopen for the new school year.

the politicization of covid prevention methods and treatments means that our country will never recover from this pandemic.  we are becoming a potential breeding ground for deadlier forms of the virus, endangering the entire world.  why can't those who have made this a political issue see that unscrupulous politicians are using this issue for their own selfish advantage?  why are trump followers taking actions that are counter to the preservation of their very lives?  there are some indications that unreasonable opposition to vaccination is weakening.  some people are seeing that the only way to bring the infection rate down is to wear masks, practice social distancing, and take the vaccine, despite the influence of political hacks.  recently, there have been reports of former opponents of vaccination in a neighboring state secretly getting the vaccine and asking their doctors not to disclose their vaccination status to others who continue to oppose vaccination.  these clandestine vaccine takers publicly oppose the vaccine, even as they fear the effects of not taking it.  

may we care for ourselves and those around us in the best ways we can.  may we listen to the advice of medical experts and scientists rather than heeding the words of politicians and editorialists who are more adept at spreading misinformation than in telling the truth.  may we understand our obligation to behave responsibly for our own well-being and that of those we love.  shalom.

The Souls That Hunger, Feed Thou

 this past sunday, the sermon scripture at church was from the sixth chapter of john's gospel, in which jesus turns "five small barley loaves and two small fish" that a boy had brought with him into enough to feed a huge crowd gathered around jesus.  (the gospel says the crowd numbered "about five thousand men.")  these folk were attracted to jesus because of his healing miracles.  the passage implies that jesus wanted to further demonstrate his power over the physical world by feeding such a gathering with meager resources.  so much food was produced from the boy's offering that there were twelve baskets of bread and fish left over after all had eaten.

as i read through the scripture, several thoughts came to mind.  the first thing that struck me was that the crowd was numbered according to the men who had come.  apparently, the women and children who were there were not important enough to be counted.  i wondered how many in the congregation believed that this story was true.  many christians have no problem accepting that stories in the old testament are not literally true.  the universe couldn't have been created in six days, noah didn't build an ark to save himself, his family, and thousands of pairs of animals from a flood that covered the entire earth, there was no ruth or esther, and david was a mythic king about whom many tales were told much like king arthur.  we learn from these folk tales but they are not factual.   why is it, then, that many christians accept the miracles of jesus as being actual events?

we know that none of the authors of the gospels witnessed jesus' life personally and that all of the gospels were written decades after jesus' death.  surely, exaggerated stories about his life had developed in the retelling of his life in the oral tradition.  there were other gospels purporting to be accounts of jesus' life that were rejected because the church fathers doubted their accuracy but the four that have come down to us as part of canon scripture are accepted as the most truthful.  this faith in unreasonable events in the life of jesus do great harm.  it is this sort of denial of science that has led to the situation in which we now find ourselves, when thousands of people refuse to take a life-saving vaccine despite all the evidence of its benefits.  it is no coincidence that the largest number of unvaccinated people and increasing infections are found in the most "christian" states in the country.  we watch as people are needlessly infected and die because they believe those who repeat lies for political gain rather than heeding the testimonies of medical experts.

belief in the impossible does great damage to the real meaning of jesus' life.  God is a god of love, not a god of vengeance and pettiness.  we are to love and care for one another.  the perversion of religion for one's own advantage is evil.  we are to be quick to forgive one another's wrongs.  all of us are connected beyond ties of blood and race.  we can learn from the stories of jesus' miracles, and in that deepest sense they are true, but we must not take them as evidence that supernatural intervention in our lives will protect us from calamity and disease.  when we ignore science and adopt the stance that God will protect us from a deadly virus even when we refuse to do our part to escape it and that when we catch the virus it must be because God wills it, it is not God in whom we believe, rather we have faith in our own foolishness.

may we read the gospels with a critical eye, learning their deepest truths without rejecting the operations of the natural order.  may we keep learning throughout our lives.  may we do our part to keep ourselves and those we love safe.  may we not allow politics to blind us to the truth.  may we accept that we have been given the gift of reason for a purpose.  shalom.

And the Weather Is Sizzling Hot

 so far, in our area of the country we have had a pretty mild summer.  the temperature has reached into the 90s (farenheit), but most days the high has been in the mid-80s.  we came home last friday after running some errands to find the interior  of our home to be somewhat warm.  when we checked the thermostat, we discovered that the inside temperature was 80º, though the central air had been set to keep the house at 77º.  i fiddled with the control a bit to no avail.  our cooling system just wasn't working.  i immediately called the repairman and asked him if he could come on monday.  since it was already late friday afternoon, i figured we could get by over the weekend, rather than pay an exorbitant price for an emergency repair.  after all, it wasn't predicted to be that warm for saturday, sunday, and into monday.  we have ceiling fans, and the house could use a good airing out.  for me, the house temperature was quite agreeable with just the fans and open windows, but my wife is more sensitive to the heat so it was a little unpleasant for her.  i brought extra fans out of storage and plugged them in to make her more comfortable.

i remembered a home we had lived in thirty-five years ago.  it had been built in the early 20th century, and had twelve foot ceilings, abundant windows, and was long and narrow.  the narrow ends of the house faced east and west, while the long sides were shaded by large trees.  down the center of the house was a long hall, and all the rooms of the house opened onto this hall.  there was a large attic fan in the hallway.  during the evening hours, we opened all the windows and turned on the attic fan.  in the bedrooms, we also put small box fans in one of the windows to pull in more of the cool night air.  often, we slept under blankets because the bedrooms were so cool, even when we were in the hottest part of the summer.  during the day, we turned off the attic fan and closed the windows.  the rooms we used most had ceiling fans that ran twenty-four hours a day.  though we had window air conditioners in the west-facing den, the kitchen, and one of the bedrooms, we seldom needed them.  the one in the den was used for a few hours in the early evenings on the hottest days because the den was warmed by the afternoon sun, and, if we cooked a lot in the afternoon, we might run the kitchen air conditioner until we finished eating supper.

this house was built to be comfortable in the warm, humid summers in the southern part of the state during a period when air conditioning was non-existent.  the design of the home did its job remarkably well.  i miss the summers in that house because the home was filled with fresh air while keeping the summer heat at bay.  having our current home open to the outside and fans in front of the windows pulling in the cool evening air has been a wonderful reminder of our years in that home of many years ago.  i've been so comfortable that i haven't cared if the central cooling system is fixed or not.  my wife would disagree with me, i'm sure, because the heat bothers her much more than it does me.

all this goes to show, that as our technology has advanced to keep us more comfortable in our homes, we've forgotten some design principles that our forebears used to make their homes pleasant during the hot summers.  it is amazing what giving space for the hot air to rise well above our heads, shading our homes with large trees, providing many operable windows, and positioning our homes to minimize heat gain will do.  our energy consuming comfort machines are warming the earth as we sit in mechanically chilled air.  maybe our planet would be better off if all our air conditioners broke down, so long as we remember how to build homes that don't need them.

may we look at how people used to endure what we now consider unbearable summers in the southern part of our country.  may we build homes that are smarter and better able to function in our climate.   may we find ways to reduce our consumption of energy generated by fossil fuels, realizing that the old ways are not always inferior ways.  shalom.

To Fight for the Right

 i live in one of the five areas of the usa that has the highest rates of new infections from the covid-19 virus.  the delta variant has become the dominant strain that causes these infections.  our hospitals are being overwhelmed by young, unvaccinated patients who require extraordinary care, many of them needing to be placed on ventilators.  the supply of ventilators is dangerously low.  the amazing thing is that this surge in new cases is unnecessary.  we have the means to prevent new infections at our disposal.  vaccine availability is high, and local health authorities sponsor frequent mass immunization events at convenient locations.  yet most of the unvaccinated have refused to avail themselves of the opportunity to prevent their infection, so far.  the governor of our state is traveling around the state meeting with any groups that will have him to urge people to be vaccinated.

one wonders why so many have chosen to refuse something that is in their own best interest.  as they ignore the advice of health officials, friends, and relatives, they become breeding grounds for further mutation of the virus into more and more virulent strains.  their failure insures that covid will be with us for a long time.  the winter months are approaching, and people will be forced to spend more time indoors.  with indoor venues and offices fully open once more and mask-wearing less prevalent, the chances of the virus spreading even more rapidly are great.  

we are seeing more people who have been vaccinated developing the virus.  while their illness is less severe, they can spread the virus to those who are not vaccinated.  often those infected do not realize that they have caught covid despite their vaccinations because they are asymptomatic, thanks to the vaccines.  one event that i had planned to attend this week has had to be cancelled because the vaccinated organizer of the event has been forced to quarantine.  it seems that his daughter has tested positive for covid and he was exposed.  a close relative and his family have had to quarantine, despite having been vaccinated, because he was exposed when he took a friend, who had also been vaccinated, to the hospital for a radiation treatment, and the friend tested positive for covid.  we hear of more and more such instances.  some of this may be caused by false positives in the test results, but with covid one can't be too careful.

i can't help but feel anger towards those who refuse to be vaccinated.  for a few, there are good reasons for declining the vaccine, but most have no reason not to take advantage of a cost-free opportunity to stop the spread of the covid-19 virus.  a friend recently told me of one woman who said that she refused to be vaccinated because president biden has recommended it, and she, an ardent trump devotee, won't do anything that biden suggests.  i suspect that many in our area share her sentiment, but there are others who believe that vaccines of any kind are unhealthy.  no amount of scientific evidence will sway them from their position.

may our citizenry wake up to the danger in which they place themselves, those they love, and all of us by their failure to act in their own best interests.  may we each do our part to encourage others to vaccinate.  may we take whatever precautions we can to protect ourselves and those around us.  shalom.

With Ever Joyful Hearts

 there are so many disturbing things going on in the world that make it difficult to find peace in our hearts.  in the pacific northwest, a region of our country that normally has one of the mildest climates that can be imagined, an unprecedented heat wave has taken hold.  people are dying, roads are buckling, and many are suffering.  as our troops withdraw from afghanistan, many of those who live there are fearful of what will happen as the taliban takes over more of the country.  many of those who can are fleeing towards an uncertain future in other lands.  our country is more divided than it has been since the years leading up to the civil war.  we see many parallels between the behavior of our political parties now and during the last half of the 19th century.  voting rights of the poor and people of color are being suppressed, just as they were during the last quarter of the nineteenth century.  leaders of a party that represents a minority of the population are taking drastic actions to hold onto power, despite recognizing that the steps they are taking are not in the country's best interest.  democracy is in peril in many parts of the world.  the covid-19 virus remains a threat to much of the world's population.

in the face of all these problems, we cry out for an end to the worries they cause us.  we long to know how to confront and overcome them.  we are aware that there is little any one of us can do by ourselves.  how do we maintain a calm mind and peaceful heart in the midst of the chaos?  how do we find joy while so many are suffering?  how do we deal with our own suffering?  for me, meditation is one solution.  i can let go of my anxieties and reassure others.  i can look around at all the blessings i enjoy, knowing that others don't have such easy lives.  i can recognize that my obligation is to share my blessings with others as much as i can.  i can live a life of gratitude.  i can comfort others as i have opportunity.  i can defend the powerless.  i can vote for candidates who will try to address the inequities in our society and in the world.  as i think about it, there is a great deal that i can do if my heart is open and if i am willing to take on some of the suffering in the world.

may we not turn our backs on the suffering around us.  may we not ignore those who are racked with pain and anxiety.  may we see the good in the midst of the chaos.  may we be grateful for what we have.  may our gratitude lead us to share our abundance with others.  shalom.

I Lift My Lamp Beside the Golden Door

 as i think of the situation at the southern border of the usa, i understand the fear of many in our country who say that we cannot take in an infinite number of refugees who are fleeing horrific conditions in their own countries.  some of us are afraid that those who make their way across the border will take jobs away from those already here.  others believe that our economy will not withstand the demands made on it by immigrants who are destitute.  so often, i hear the complaint that we simply cannot take on the needs of every person who seeks asylum here.  then there are those who decry the effect on what they perceive to be our culture, those who see their vision of a white-dominated english-speaking society being destroyed by an influx of large numbers of brown, spanish-speaking invaders.  a few days ago i heard a couple of trump supporters who were being interviewed on television as they cheered his positions that they believed would return us to an earlier time like the 1950s when "everyone knew their place," meaning that those who were white and born in this country were in control and people of color were subservient to that white majority.

we are being forced to choose between two americas: the one that maintains the dominance of a shrinking white majority and the one that believes that we ought to welcome those who come to us for the protection and support that they cannot find in their own lands.  will we be the america of emma lazarus' poem, "the new colossus" that, like the statue of liberty, "glows world-wide welcome?"  will we say, "send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me," or will we be a nation that turns its back on the needs of "[the] tired, [the] poor, [the] huddled masses yearning to breath free?"  we live in the richest country in the world.  we are a nation of immigrants.  we must live up to our ideals and the beliefs on which the country was founded.  our declaration of independence says that "all . . . are created equal, . . . endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."  surely, we cannot suppose that those rights are only granted to native-born americans if all are created equal.  

our national character is being tested.  though granting asylum to those seeking to escape persecution, crime, poverty, and corruption in other lands may put a strain on our economy, in the long run our country will be strengthened by our compassion for others and our willingness to act on that compassion.  may we be who we say we are, the "mother of exiles."  may we not be fearful of those come from other cultures, speaking a language other than english.  may we continue to be enriched culturally and economically by those who come seeking sanctuary.  shalom.

To Know Him Is to Love Him

 i have a male relative that it is difficult for me to be around.  he talks incessantly and loudly.  after i have been with them for a couple of hours, i want to throw up my hands and yell, "just be quiet for a few minutes--i can't even think!"  he is a kind, generous person who delights in helping others.  i feel badly for having angry thoughts directed towards him.   as i sit here thinking about my recent visit with him, i wonder why my relative can be so caring in many ways and yet he is thoughtless about his conversation when he is around others.  

during this last visit, i looked over at his wife, noticing how she sat with a smile which seemed to say, "just let him say what he is compelled to say and wait until he runs out of steam."  she, too, is wonderfully kind and thoughtful.  i'm sure she realizes that her husband gets on others' nerves but she has learned that beneath his nervous chatter is an open, generous heart.  she must love his totally, having accepted this one flaw as part of who he is.  he would not be himself without his tendency to talk too much, and, rather than try to change him, she has developed the patience to let him run on until he is ready to listen to what she has to say.

upon returning home, the thought occurred to me that i ought to be grateful for my relative.  his ability to irritate me and bring out the worst in me gives me an opportunity to practice the skill of patience.  to be around him for any length of time, i must learn to keep my heart open and to accept him as his wife does.  i have to accept him as he is, seeing the total person, not just this one annoying flaw.  as i realized this, i began to think about why he has this tendency to monopolize a conversation and force others to sit and listen as he runs on.  perhaps he is nervous around others he doesn't know well or see often, and his incessant chatter is a cover for his own discomfort and shyness.  maybe one of his parents behaved in this way, and he is copying them.  whatever the underlying cause, i know that he wants to make me feel welcome when i come into his home and that his hugs and handshakes are indications of a genuine affection for me.  if i spend more than one day in his home, by the second day he seems calmer and less intent on monopolizing conversations.  when i prepare to leave, he always hugs me and thanks me for my visit, tells me how much he loves and appreciates me, and invites me to return whenever i can.  at that point, i fell ashamed of my anger towards him and vow to work on my skills of acceptance.

may we each learn greater tolerance of others, even when we find them annoying.  may we think about their better qualities and try to figure how why they are as they are without wanting to change them.  may we love them, not despite their flaws, but because of them.  may we develop even-minded calm in the midst of our tendency towards irritability and impatience.  shalom.

That This Heart of Mine Embraces

 our daughter is visiting us this week, so i have not had time to write a new post.  i hope to be back writing next week.  may all have a great week.  shalom.

Let us Find the Promised Rest

 this morning as i prepared to write this blog post, i was thinking of how our minds work.  what surprises me is our ability to change our thought processes.  we can either allow our conscious minds to control us or we can choose to control them.  our thoughts are not who we are, they are the products of what we are becoming.  not long ago, i lived my life reactively.  if others spoke to me in an unkind or thoughtless way, i either lashed out at them or stewed over how to get back at them.  i spent much of my time thinking of petty annoyances and slights, as i harbored thoughts of how much i disliked this or that other person.  i dwelt on my past, filled with resentments towards those who had held me back as i grew up.  i was quick to become angry and felt a sense of superiority regarding others.

as i've gotten older, i've come to realize that no one is out to cause me suffering and grief.  when others speak to me in ways that are hurtful and spiteful, they are not really being hateful to me.  instead, their words or actions are coming from a place of deep hurt, and i happen to be a convenient target to express the suffering they feel.  if i let go of the initial desire to return their mean words, i can feel a deep compassion for them and wish them peace and relief from their pain.  my own impulse to hurt others doesn't come from a natural enmity towards them but rather from my own suffering.  when we stop the pettiness of our thoughts and turn from the superficial propensity to behave with unkindness and turn to our deepest desires to be whole and to help others to find wholeness, we see that we are all alike.  often we don't stop before we act or speak in order to discern why others treat us as they do.  when we train our minds to be calm and turn to our deep well of goodness and compassion, we can stop the compulsion to treat those who injure us with an equal measure of hurt.

may we calm our minds and in that stillness find compassion towards those who seem to feel little compassion for us.  may we look at a situation from many perspectives, not just from our first reaction of hurt or anger.  may we be grateful to those who wound us for allowing us an opportunity to practice lovingkindness.  may we find peace that allows us to show love when our first inclination is to return hate for hate and injury for injury.  shalom.