Earth's Toiling Ended

 i've often said that i plan to live for at least 125 years.  my health has always been good.  my heart is strong, i don't need knee or hip replacements, i have few of the aches and pains associated with aging.  here lately, though, i can tell that my body is aging.  i don't have as much energy as i used to have.  my back hurts if i overdo physical activity, and the pain is quite severe unless i am consistent in doing the flexibility and resistance exercises that my physical therapist prescribed for me.  my digestive system gives me some trouble, and, when i eat certain types of food, i pay the consequences.  routine tests show that one of my major organs is not functioning optimally, and one of these days it may fail altogether.  in short, this body that has held up so well for almost seventy-four years is not what it once was.

i am grateful that my body has gotten me this far with few malfunctions.  my immune system is strong, and i seldom catch the common viruses and infections that go around.  even though i feel the effects of the years that are behind me, i am far more active than most people my age.  that being said, i must face the fact that the end of my life is much nearer that i would wish it to be and must be prepared for it.  i have to give some thought to getting my affairs in order so that my family members who survive me are not burdened with sorting them out after i'm gone.  most of all, i have to accept the fact that i won't live forever and come to terms with my own mortality.

we don't want to think about end-of-life matters but i am certain that looking ahead to the inevitable is in our own best interests.  we need to come to terms with our common end, no matter when or how it comes.  i believe that death is a door to a new existence, whether that new life is in some other reality or in being reincarnated in a new body to try once more to discover the truths of human existence.  that belief gives me some comfort, but i won't lay down this life without fighting to sustain it.  my life has, on the whole, been a happy one, and it continues to be so.  i want it to go on forever, even though my body tells me that it can't.  it does me no good to pretend that death won't come to me as it has for those who have gone before me, and so i meditate on the end of my life from time to time.

may we each face the inevitably of our demise.  may we be at peace with our common end and rejoice in the time we've been given, in our "precious human life," glad each day that we've "been fortunate to have awakened."  may we not waste the time we have as we seek to grow each day.  may we be grateful that our bodies have carried us this far and care for them so that they may function as long as possible while accepting that they will ultimately fail us.  may we be well and filled with lovingkindness and compassion.  shalom.

A Short Pause

 my wife and i have been away from home for the past several days, so i am taking a short pause in writing my blog until next week.   until then, may each of us find peace and be at ease.  shalom.

A Thoroughfare for Freedom

  the lies coming from our highest elected official never stop coming.  not one word he utters is believable, and his inability to tell the truth has destroyed our trust in institutions that we rely to keep us safe.  we know that his appointees are pressuring the leaders of the centers for disease control and prevention to feed us information that is consistent with what mr. trump is sayng and in some cases, the cdc has complied.  we know that the president lied to the world in the initial stages of the outbreak the usa.  he continues to lie, telling us that we have turned a corner on the infection rate while the data tells us otherwise.  the one person that we trust to give us honest information, dr. anthony fauci, continues to tell us the truth, though he, too, is being pressured to toe the president's line.  fortunately for us, dr. fauci has the integrity to resist and continues to give us good advice, even when it is not what we wish to hear.  we cannot stop the spread of this insidious virus unless we know the truth about it.  pie in the sky notions about covid-19 won't help us, because they give us false hope and encourage us to abandon safe practices.  what mr. trump and his minions are doing is killing people, and they must be stopped.

with the republican majority in the senate helping him, trump has planted his people throughout the various branches of government.  he has effectively taken over control over our intelligence services, particularly the central intelligence agency and the department of homeland security.  if we had a president who believed that hearing honest assessments of what foreign governments are doing is important to our national security, it would be a good thing for that president to have his own appointees at the helm of the intelligence apparatus.  we do not have such a president and those who run the cia now hide the truth from the congress and downplay evidence that is harmful to trump's political future.  at the dhs, we have leaders who are more concerned with doing trump's will than in viewing those seeking asylum here as fellow human beings.  they treat children with unbelievable cruelty, ripping them from the arms of their parents and sending them back to their home countries where they will be in grave danger.  they destroy families without a thought, and use the pandemic as an excuse.  they expose those who have risked everything to seek freedom in this country to dangerous criminals across the mexican border as if the sacrifices that those asylum seekers means nothing.

diplomatic professionals who have dedicated their lives to serving this country are routinely dispensed with at the state department so that trump's allies can be placed in sensitive positions.  the advice of these professionals is ignored, and incompetents have taken their places.  we offend our allies, while trump nourishes relationships and praises dictators who are enemies of this country.  we have a president who is ignorant of our history and promotes a view of it that is false and dangerous.  he attacks the 1619 project through the department of education because he refuses to see the grave consequences of our reliance on slave labor through much of our history.  he is now forcing changes in training aimed at helping government employees understand the wrongs we perpetuate because of insensitivity to the historic relationship between the races in our country and the need to change that relationship to one that is healthier for everyone, because he believes that anything that is critical of "our noble history" should be ignored so that white male privilege can be preserved.

may we stop the lies and the ignorance flowing from the highest level of our government by tossing trump and his senate allies out.  may we show the world that truth and decency are important values in our country.  may we elect those who will promote true patriotism that seeks to right the wrongs of the past, not perpetuate them.  may we once again welcome those who come here to free themselves from fear, poverty, and tyranny.  shalom.

More to Find Than Can Ever Be Found

as i meditated a few days ago, my attention was on my breath.  i sensed the circular nature of it, how it seemed to have no beginning or end.  there was a constant movement of air in and out.  there did not seem to be a point at which the in-breath stopped and the out-breath began or where the out-breath became the in-breath.  the same was true of the rise and fall of my stomach and chest.  all was one fluid motion.

later in the day i though of the cyclical nature of all things.  our lives arise and fall, giving rise to new life.  we become part of the continuous cycle of life that is our planet and everything on it.  this is true of all life and of the great organism that is our earth.  it is not just some amalgamation of rocks spinning through space.  it has tides that rise and fall, tectonic plates that are in constant motion, winds and water that grind the rock into soil that nurtures life as plants and animals are born and die, decaying into matter that enriches the soil so that new life can arise.

i thought, too, of the prevalence of circular forms in nature:  the stem of a plant, the blossom of a flower, the trunk of a tree and its branches, our arms and legs, our eyes, the gentle curve of the parts of our ears, the roundness of the tops of our heads, the bend of the river, the crater of the volcano, our planet itself.  all around us are circles and curves.  yet we humans seem to have a penchant for right angles, for square and rectangles.  we live in houses based on those shapes, we frame our pictures in them.  we love square corners and parallel lines, and i wonder why that is, since these things exist so seldom in nature.  perhaps it is because it is simpler to construct things that are based on ninety degree angles; perfect circles are much more difficult to create with our limited abilities, though nature seems to prefer circular constructions.

perhaps it all comes back to the breath, this continuum that is life itself for all animals, including human beings.  when we gasp our last breath, our lives in their present form are over and we become part of the greater continuum that is the earth and the universe.  at that point the circle is complete.  we have returned to the place of our origin, and new life begins.  breath in-breath out, the great mystery continues.

may we relish each breath we are given, rejoicing in the opportunity to experience life.  may we seek to understand our place in the great scheme of things and to appreciate each part of nature and its role in the great dance.  may we know that we are part of something eternal, that our last breath is a new beginning.  shalom.

In Every Life We Have Some Trouble

it's strange how little disappointments can cause us great suffering.  for instance, a few days ago, i had taken some pains to hang a small shelf for my wife, climbing up and down on a step stool, measuring, retrieving tools, finding just the right sized nails for the job.  in end the shelf, though perfectly level, did not appear to be straight because a nearby door was out of square, making the shelf look like it was askew.  after all my hard work, the job was not perfect.  the shelf had to come down, because no amount of adjusting would make it look right.  i was heartbroken.  "all my hard work for nothing," i thought.  all the rest of the day i was sad and could not get my mind away from the problem with the shelf.

now, as i look back, i see how i allowed something which i could not remedy to affect me deeply, spoiling my day.  instead of accepting that things don't always work out despite our best efforts, i dwelt on my problem, wounding myself over and over.  we do this so often in life, letting matters that are inconsequential and beyond our control cause us suffering.  of course, it is not the problem itself that causes us to suffer, but rather our pain is caused by our mind's interpretation of the situation and our constant rehashing of it.  we simply cannot let it go.  we do this with things great and small.  instead of finding a way around our problem, we constantly remind ourselves of our failure.

in the end, the solution to my little problem was to take down the shelf and find something else to hang in that spot that didn't bring the out-of-kilter door to the attention of the eye.  it wasn't until the next day that i realized that there was a way to solve my dilemma, but i refused to see it because my mind insisted on repeatedly cursing a situation that was not of my own making, one that was of little consequence in the end.  this is the way it is with everything that causes us to suffer.  we must recognize that we are not in control, that we must accept things that we cannot change and find ways to deal with them in a productively.

may we let go of our suffering, seeing that our distress is caused by our minds' interpretation of a situation, not by the situation itself.  may we set aside our  problems until our subconscious, intuitive, mind has time to work out a way to resolve them.  may we not allow our failures to control us by dwelling on them.  shalom.