Tuesday, November 2, 2021

Our Heart's True Home

last week, my wife and i both had surgeries.  mine was relatively minor and required little recovery time.  it was performed at the doctor's office and involved removing a small skin cancer that had returned.  one layer of skin was surgically removed and biopsied.  once it was determined that there were no more cancer cells below that level, the wound was stitched up, and i was sent home.  there was some soreness and pain for a couple of days that required medication to ease.  beyond that, all i had to do was care for the wound site and endure the appearance of the small scar as it heals.


my wife's surgery was more involved.  she had to go to the hospital's outpatient center, where she was sedated and taken to an operating theater.  incisions were made that allowed for laparoscopic surgery on her heart to treat atrial fibrillation.  her recovery time lasted most of the day, so we were there from 5:30 in the morning until 6:30 that evening.  we were delighted that she was able to return home rather than spending a night in the hospital, even though we had a two-hour drive in pouring rain over a difficult highway at night.


fortunately, our daughter was able to come stay with us for several days to help both of us as we recovered at home.  our son came and spent the weekend, helping us after his sister left to return home.  without their help, life would have been difficult for us.  my wife was very weak and tired from her ordeal, and i didn't feel nearly as well as i usually do.  my surgery along with the long wait and worry over my wife's surgery had taken a toll on me.


when we were left at home by ourselves, i felt completely exhausted.  i told my wife that i had never felt so old.  for the first time, my age was a factor in my well being, and i understood at last how my father must have felt during my mother's extended illness and after her death.  i wish now i had been more understanding and patient with him but we aren't able to put ourselves in another's shoes until we have a similar experience.  i went to bed after that first day after the children were gone somewhat depressed and very weary.  my wife felt bad because she thought that she was the cause of my ill feeling.  i assured her that the way i felt wasn't her fault; it was the natural result of a very tiring week finally catching up with me, once i realized that her care was now entirely in my hands.


after a good night's sleep, i awakened much more like my usual self.  i was ready to face the day, and the weariness of the previous day was gone.  we don't have any pressing responsibilities this week unless some emergency arises, so i should be able to take it easy and recover my strength.  my wife's recuperation seems to be going well.  though she can't do much other than rest, she will slowly regain her former vigor, i feel certain.  within a couple of weeks we will be able to return to our normal routine, and she will feel much more energetic as a result of her operation.  i am optimistic about the coming days and excited that we should have many more years ahead of us to enjoy our lives together.


may each of us see that negative emotions don't have to be permanent.  may we take the time we need to allow our bodies to recharge.  may we relish each good moment we have and learn from each bad one, giving thanks for the benefits of both.  may we understand that there is an arc to our lives and accept the passing years as common to all of us.  shalom.

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