we have some dear friends with whom we play cards and have dinner once a week. they have much in common with us, particularly a love for classical music and a liberal political perspective. there are few people in our community with whom we share those two passions. our principal point of disagreement is our religious views. the wife of this couple has conventional christian beliefs, while the husband is torn between christian orthodoxy and their church's conservative political stance. he finds himself at odds with both his wife, his pastor, and most of the members of their church because politics often enters into pronouncements from the pulpit and discussions in their bible study class. his wife, who shares his and our, political stance, can ignore the conservative bias of those in their church because their conventional religious beliefs agree with hers. he cannot shrug off their church's politics, though he agrees with its religious orthodoxy. they are both troubled by the poor quality of music they hear each Sunday morning and long for more traditional church music.
we find ourselves at odds with them on religious issues. we would be unable to be part of a group that teaches the necessity of jesus' death on the cross in order to enable God to forgive our sins, nor would we be content to hear politics preached from the pulpit or taught in small group meetings. the concept of a god who requires such sacrifice is anathema to us. our view of jesus' life and death is quite different. we see jesus as a great teacher who taught us that God is filled with love for us and whose mission was to help us find reconciliation with a God who desires that we share love with those around us. the crucifixion of jesus demonstrates the cruelty of those who wanted others to worship a god of vengeance, a rule-making god whose primary function is to keep records of our shortcomings. such people seek to control us through fear, and jesus' teachings were viewed as dangerous, since he was leading his followers to reject the control of a repressive government and religious establishment.
we seldom discuss religion with our friends, but the husband in this couple is so unhappy with the situation in their church that he frequently voices his frustration. we are at a loss as to what to say. we have encouraged them to attend some other church occasionally so he can escape from time to time the aspects of their church that are frustrating to him, but that doesn't seem to be a solution that appeals to either of them. we find ourselves displeased by many things in our own church, such as the quality and quantity of music in the worship service and a minister who preaches rambling sermons during which she frequently shouts at the congregation. since the onset of the covid pandemic, we have stopped attending our church. i play for another congregation two or three sundays each month and find myself enjoying their service. i attend the local episcopal church some of the sundays when i don't play and am much more comfortable in that church than in my own. it is disturbing to us that now, in the last few years of our lives, we find ourselves without a church that we feels like "home." i suspect that there are many like us: older folks who find that the worship style of most churches is alien to them and who feel left out of the churches in which they grew up and attended faithfully for many years.
may we find a place where we seem to belong. may we recognize that it is the people who make up a church, regardless of changing worship styles. may we love despite our differences. may we be at peace with ourselves, remaining true to our core beliefs. if we worship a god, may that God be a God of love, not one of vengeance. shalom.
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