When We Are Mirth-Giving

this morning i'm wondering about how people become the way they are.  we all know folks who are filled with optimism and exude a calmness and joy that give those around them confidence that things will be alright.  we know others who are like the character in the old "li'l abner" comic strip that walked around with a cloud over his head as rain constantly fell on him, people who seem to suck all the happiness from every situation and are purveyors of doom and gloom.  why are some of us happy while others are not?

i'm sure much of our psychological makeup has to do with our experiences as children.  if we grew up in a household with a parent who constantly criticized us and everyone else and who always saw the black side of the cloud, so to speak, we're more likely to carry on that morbid family tradition.  on the other hand, if we were encouraged and praised as children, we're more likely to be positive people when we're adults.  i'm happy to say that both our children are kind, optimistic adults who are problem solvers rather than naysayers, so we must have done something right in their rearing.

some people get knocked down constantly.  no matter how hard they try, life never seems to give them a break.  when that is your life experience, it's probably easy to finally give up and quit trying.  i think of those in difficult circumstances, like the many homeless in our country, who can't seem to break the cycle of hard knocks that has been their life story, or those born into poverty who are unable to escape the hand that life has dealt them.  we have this unrealistic belief as americans that everyone can pull themselves up by their bootstraps.  we forget that most of those who are successful had successful families and were surrounded by those in similar situations throughout their lives.  the "great american success story" is the exception.  we have created a society that makes it difficult to escape the reality in which you are born and to pretend otherwise is to ignore reality.

yet, even those who seemed to be consigned to lives of want rather than lives of plenty are often the happiest and most optimistic people around.  they manage to find the good in situations that most of us would find daunting, if not impossible.  they see good in others and share what little they have with open hearts.  i suppose that happiness is, in many ways, a choice that we must make if we want to experience it.  we can dwell on our problems, rather than finding solutions, or we can look at life as an opportunity to improve bad situations for us and others.  it is up to us to decide which path we will follow.

may we choose happiness.  may we overcome adversity and negativity.  may we see opportunities rather than stumbling blocks.  shalom.