today i am late in posting to my blog because my schedule has suddenly become full with preparation of funeral music on top of an already too-full list of responsibilities. my thoughts turn to death once more. i think of those who are given the blessing of much time for the end of life, those who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses while still feeling well and strong and so are able to put their affairs in order and to relish the time they have remaining. i think of those who are taken suddenly with no warning and do not have the luxury of planning for their own end.
few of us want to leave this life. we never seem to get to the end of our bucket list, we don't want to let go of time to spend with loved ones, we want to cling to life and the experiences it brings. yet we know that the end will come for all of us, some sooner, some later, but come it will. so how does one get ready for it? perhaps we should live as though each day were our last, as though each moment could be our last, always ready. in this way, it matters little whether the end can be seen clearly in the not-to-distant future or whether the end comes abruptly with no warning.
as i age, i think of this ending more often. i see the lives of more and more of those i know coming to an end, and i ponder how best to prepare for my own end. i think of what the lives of those i love most may be like once i'm gone, and i think of what my life might be like should those loved ones precede me in death. would they or i stay in the same home, in the same town? would we spend our resources in the same way? would we have enough resources to live well?
i want to believe that i am prepared for both my own passing or the passing of those dearest to me, that i am mentally ready for either eventuality. if i were told that i have x number of months to live, would i still feel that i'm prepared? what would i do during those remaining months? may i, and you, not put off those experiences that will bring us joy; may we not fill our lives with "if onlys." may we celebrate each breath, each opportunity, each experience, and so come to the end of our days knowing that we lived fully and lovingly. shalom.