i've been filling in as organist at one of our local churches while they search for a new musician. friends who are familiar with the congregation have warned me that, as long as i am willing to help them out, the church won't seriously try to find a permanent player. i know that's probably true, so last week i went in to talk with the pastor. i told him that i had already retired twice as a church staff member, and i don't intend to make this a third time to retire, and i gave him a deadline of sorts for when i would go back to what i considered my "home" church so that they would need to have found someone by that time.
i pointed out several factors in their situation that would make it difficult to find a new organist. the instrument needs major repairs, there seems to be little planning beyond week-to-week, and the pay is far below the going rate, especially if an organist has to drive in from another town. i explained, as he probably already knew, that one reason trained church musicians are so scarce is that churches don't pay a living wage to musicians, so why would someone invest years to train and pay for expensive lessons for a pauper's wage.
the minister is new to the church, and i'm sure he has his hands full trying to figure out how to mend serious divisions within the church, make his own plans for how best to serve the church, get to know those who attend there, and find his way around the community. yet, the lack of an organist is a serious problem for the church, and there seems to be no one else in the community who is not already committed to playing at a church. the one sunday that i had to be gone during the past month, they had no one to play, and people noted the hole that having to sing with guitar accompaniment and to sing unaccompanied left in the service. several commented on how much they missed the organ and how much they loved hearing its sound in leading worship.
i feel a bit guilty that i may be put in the position of leaving them in the lurch with no one to play for worship. i love playing and enjoy having the opportunity to play, but i don't enjoy being tied down every weekend and having to take time away from my life with my wife and from my responsibilities at home to go practice every day. as i've thought about this situation, i've realized that, if the folks in this church love the organ music as much as they say, they would figure out a way to hire someone for a decent wage, do a better job of planning, and repair a deficient instrument. it's not a poor congregation, and they have money to pay for three other full-time employees. they have lots of children in the church, but no children's choir. they have a good many teens, but no musical activities for them. they have handbells and an excellent handbell music library but no handbell choir. they have a nice choral music library, but use photocopies of second-rate anthems for a choir of only eight or so singers. when i look at all these resources and the potential for a vibrant music program, my guilt eases. the situation leads me to think that their words about their love for music are not sincere enough to do what's needed to not only hire an organist but to employ a full-time music director/organist who could enrich the life of the church in so many ways.
time will tell whether they will bite the bullet and do what needs to be done and whether i will leave them to fend for themselves musically. i suspect that when the deadline i've given them arrives, i'll stay a bit longer, but eventually the call to return to my life of retirement will be stronger that the call to play every sunday. in the meantime, i will hope for the best for them and for me.
may we not allow the needs of others to keep us from meeting our own needs. may we see that neediness can be a way of manipulating others to do what we ought to do for ourselves. may we see that jesus' call to serve others was not a call to ignore the needs in our own lives and remember that he called us to love others as we love ourselves. shalom.
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