what is happiness? lately, some events have occurred that caused me to feel sad and hurt. yet beyond the sadness and the pain, i've been surprised that i'm still a happy person. i can address the suffering without the underlying sense of well being in my life going away. at the end of each day, i go to bed glad that i'm alive and filled with a sense of joy and accomplishment and looking forward to the new day that i hope will come. i can't account for this happiness, because it's something that's relatively new, something that has happened over the last two or three years.
my wife and i have been through some difficult times: making a move that was physically and emotionally draining, having to adjust to a new locale where people have different customs and points-of-view and where the climate and topography are not what we're accustomed to, separating ourselves from old friends and our church, living farther from our daughter and her husband. despite the pain of these adjustments, i've still been happy. it's hasn't been nearly as hard to give up so much that is familiar as i thought it would be. our lives are filled with so much natural beauty, and many of things we enjoy most, like a variety of good restaurants and wonderful shows and concerts, are easily accessible. as we looked at our calendar for the coming weeks last night, it was filled with day trips to places we love and events we look forward to participating in.
but my happiness is more than these superficial activities, more that the busy-ness of every day life. i can't describe it, but i know that it is something that is different within me that i wish i had experienced throughout my life. part of it is, i suppose, an awareness that passing joys and pains are just that--passing. they are not the core of who i am. while i may enjoy a concert of beautiful music as it happens and have fond memories of it far into the future, the joy that it brought and continues to bring is not the source of happiness. my happiness is far deeper and much more a part of the "me" that i am. it's something i don't fear losing, because i know that it can't be taken away by external events.
as i go forward, i hope that this sense of happiness deepens and that i can share it with others. may each of us find such happiness. may others be made happier by our own happiness. may we see fleeting joys and sufferings as passing moments in our lives that leave our basic happiness intact. may lovingkindness and respect flow from us because we are filled with lovingkindness and respect for ourselves. shalom.
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