for the past several days, my wife and i have both had upper respiratory problems. we are coughing, sniffling, and are achy and lethargic. most likely, the cause is allergies, but the persistence of our symptoms has been aggravating. it has been a long time since i have had such problems, but my wife has had the same sort of illness several times since we've moved here. those who have lived here for many years tells us that what we're experiencing isn't unusual and that these allergies will go away after we've adjusted to the climate and vegetation here. i hope they're right!
our difficulties in recovering and returning to our usual good health has gotten me to thinking about the process of aging. aches and pains are our normal sensations now. we're not able to work as hard or for as long as we used to. it's harder for us to bounce back when we are sick. on the one hand, i don't want to give in to being an older person. my inclination is to deny my age and all that goes along with me and to pretend that i'm "only as young as i feel" so i must act as if i feel young. on the other hand, it's not healthy to resist this natural process of growing old. there are more years behind me than there are ahead, and it is wrong to refuse to accept my aging.
i've earned the wrinkles in my brow and the gray hairs on my head. i worked hard when i was younger so that i wouldn't have to work hard in my retirement years. i look back over a life filled with wonderful adventures, and, even in my advanced years, i still am healthy enough to have more of them. despite this latest setback, i probably have many more years left, but i have to accept the fact that the end of life is inevitable. it may come sooner than i would wish for. one of my responsibilities now is to be prepared for the inevitable whenever it comes and to come to terms with the certainty that death comes to us all. i can choose whether i continue blindly through life, ignoring that certainty and living as if i will go on forever, or i can face what is certain to come and be prepared for it. i can live with gratitude for all that i have enjoyed in this life and for each new day that comes to me or i can pretend that, unlike others, i will never experience the suffering of aging and dying.
it's far better to face the suffering that old age brings and to meditate on that suffering than it is to act as if it doesn't exist. on the whole, my life has been a wonderful one, and, if the grim reaper comes knocking at my door today or tomorrow, i leave a legacy of good memories behind in the minds and hearts of those dearest to me. i've known far less suffering than many and can count myself fortunate to have lived where i've lived in the midst of a loving family and with the resources i need for a pleasant life. while there are some regrets--things i could have handled better, lessons i wish i had learned earlier in life--there are far more joys in my memory. yes, i am very grateful to have been given this life, and i hope that rebirth is a possibility. i would be happy to have another chance to make a better life in another body. i'll have to see what's on the other side of the curtain when the time comes.
may each of find our hearts filled with gratitude. may we face our sufferings rather than pretending that they're not there. may we see that suffering is the common lot of us all and that it's far better to come to terms with suffering than to try to deaden ourselves to suffering in one way or another. may we count our blessings, along with our hurts. may we find peace in our hearts and minds. shalom.
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