For Those I've Loved Along the Way

my week is not nearly as hectic now as it was earlier.  thanks to two days of rain, i'm forced to take a day off from some chores that have been weighing on me.  i can leave them undone without feeling badly.  so today, i will spend most of the day doing things i love to do, leaving the crab grass to flourish in the spring rain and the lawn unmowed.

as i began moving around after getting out of bed, my thoughts went to a dear friend who lives several hours away.  i haven't heard from him in some time, and my voicemails, texts, emails, and messages on messenger have gone unanswered.  i believe that he is well from his posts on facebook, though i can tell he is extremely busy with work-related responsibilities.  it seems as if he has cut me out of his busy life, and i am hurt by it.  i know i've done the same to others in the past and feel deep remorse for having done so.  i supppose the old saying, "out of sight, out of mind," has a great deal of truth in it.  i know from experience that putting off keeping in contact with a distant friend can ultimately lead to being so embarrassed for our failure that we finally ignore that person.  i hope that isn't what has happened with my friend.

our hearts are tender things.  we are hurt to discover that we are not as important to another as that person is to us and to find that busy lives sometimes lead those dear to us to neglect us as pressing matters that are closer to home crowd us out.  being ignored in such a way causes deep suffering and often we want to cry out in anger at the person who is neglecting us.   as i reflected on this in the early morning, i realized that anger is not a good response, though it is a natural one.  a better response is to continue to love that one who has been an important part of my life even when he ignores me, to wish him well in his busy life, and to hope that, when things slow down, i'll hear from him.  even if he forgets me, i can hold him in my heart, recalling the many good times we had together in the past, good times we can't enjoy now because of the distance between us.

may we allow lovingkindness to overcome suffering.  may we keep anger at bay as we look for more positive alternatives.  may our hurts never cause us to stop striving to be compassionate.  shalom.