Save Each One's Pride

recently my wife and i attended a play put on my a local theater group.  the play was a well known broadway musical, and it was somewhat risqué.  because of the era from which the play dates, women were depicted in an offensive way.  i found myself somewhat uncomfortable with the play, and the production did little to minimize my discomfort.  the costumes of the female characters were suggestive, and all of the female characters were prostitutes, save one who was married to a philanderer.  there were some amusing lines in the play but on the whole the overall impression was one of males belittling females.  we were the guests of another couple and had come with them in their car, so it would have been rude of us to leave.  my wife found the play far more disturbing than i did, and i thought she was over-reacting until we spoke about it in private later in the day.

as we began talking about the play, i discovered that my wife had been reminded of her father's treatment of her mother and his attitude toward women in general.  the offensive words, actions, and costuming had brought back a flood of painful memories for her, so she had been deeply wounded by what seemed to me to be a mildly offensive piece of dated theater.  as i reflect back now on how hurt she was in contrast to my philosophical objections to the play--objections that didn't affect me deeply--i am reminded about how we fail to see the pain that is caused all too often by our insensitivity to the past experiences of others.

we now live in a locale where there are few people of color, an area that has a reputation for long-standing racism.  one frequently sees depictions of the confederate battle flag, and we often drive past homes that are flying that flag.  if the issue of its offensiveness is raised, the standard reply is that honoring the confederacy is not about race but rather about "southern pride" or showing respect for one's heritage.  few of those who have lived here all their lives know one person of color or stop to think what the so-called stars and bars flag means to the descendants of american slaves.  some of those who fly the flag are racist in the meanest sense of the word; others are people who are insensitive to the real meaning of the emblem they honor and would perhaps have a different mindset if they had an honest conversation about the hurtful symbolism of the flag with a black person.

it is hard to walk in the shoes of another, but we are obligated to try.  something that is innocuous to us may be deeply hurtful to another, and we have a responsibility to try and see things from others' points-of-view.  may we make the effort to back away from that which causes hurt to another.  may we not downplay their feelings of injury as over-reaction or political correctness.  may we learn to respect the past experiences of others even when we have not shared those experiences.  may our love for others outweigh our own privilege.  shalom.