Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day

"i am fortunate to have awakened.  i am alive.  i have a precious human life."  this is how i begin each day's meditation.  i repeat these words but until a few days ago i didn't spend any time pondering their meaning.  "to have awakened" can have the meaning of having awakened in the sense of gaining enlightenment, but in this context it means that i have ended the night's period of sleep and begun a new day.  that may be a metaphor for abandoning an old life where one is mindlessly going through the motions of living and awakening to a new life of bringing the practice of mindfulness into every part of our lives, but my meditation on awakening had to do with the more basic meaning.

i thought of the gift of life which could come to an end at any moment.  during the night i might have taken my last breath and there would be no awakening, no life, no new day.  my time of having a "precious human life" would have come to a stop.  i thought of my younger brother who had unexpectedly taken his last breath one evening not long ago.  i thought of the fragility of life and what life might be like for those near to me if i was no more, or what my life might be like if i lost my beloved wife.  i thought of the countless others who had ceased breathing over the thousands of years human beings have walked the earth, of the animals who die every day, giving their lives so that another animal can have food.  i thought of how all of these deaths nourish the planet, so that even in death we can give life to those who follow us.

just as life is a gift, so is death.  few of us long to die.  there are more experiences we want to have, more love we want to share, more need for closure.  seldom do we have adequate time to prepare for death.  we put off thinking about it, hoping against hope that we will live until we feel that all our plans come to fruition.  perhaps those who have terminal illnesses are blessed because they have foreknowledge that death is coming on a more-or-less definite timetable and can prepare for their end of life.  i suspect that most often even those of us who know that we will die in the next few months spend most of our time fighting the inevitable, denying the diagnosis that tells us that we have little time left, seeking treatments that will effect a miraculous cure.

even in dying, we give back to those who remain, our bodies providing nutrients that the earth needs, living behind a treasure of memories for those who loved us.  if we've lived a good life, we've made the planet a better place for others.  we've encouraged others to life a better life, to live with compassion and kindness.  we've paid forward the gift of life we were given.

may we not leave thinking about our own deaths until it is too late.  may we do all we can to leave a legacy that will inspire others.  may we demonstrate our gratitude for having lived by filling each day with compassion and lovingkindness for ourselves and others.  shalom.