last fall, a meditation group was started at our church, so i joined it. i've never been part of a group that meditates together before and didn't know quite what to expect. one of the things i discovered is that the experience of meditation in a group is somewhat difference from that of sitting alone. each of us came to the group for different reasons, are from disparate backgrounds, and have had varying levels of meditation experience, so the leader has had to find guided meditations that speak to the wide range of personalities and needs within the group and has had to teach the essentials of meditation in a way that does not bore or insult the more experienced practitioners among us.
when we returned to sitting together after a break during the christmas season, the leader of our group asked each of us to consider leading the group at least once during the course of this season of meetings. since i have a longer experience with meditation that most of the others, i volunteered to lead this week. as i went through various guided meditations that have been helpful to me, i wondered which might be most helpful to the group. i finally decided on "mountain meditation" by andy hobson because i thought it would be beneficial to both experienced and inexperienced meditators as it touches on some of the issues that brought the members to the group together.
i have approached this new role within the group with some misgivings. i don't want to have the responsibility of leading, and i fear i will be inadequate to the task. yet, the person who has done a great job leading the group deserves to have that duty lifted from her from time to time. she is a busy working mother who has little time to prepare for each meeting. if some of the rest of us will take on the job of leading occasionally, then she can come to the meeting and participate without having to take time from her hectic life to plan what she will bring to us. it is for her that i've offered to do this, not because i think i have any special insights to offer that she cannot.
as i think about my fears and my reasons for taking on this task, i think, too, of how often we can relieve the burdens of another, not because we can do what they do better, but because they need a chance to relax and recharge. no one can shoulder their responsibilities constantly without help from others, but so often we expect them to do so. i think of my mother and father who seldom got away from their daily work and the job of caring for me and my brother and sister. they never went away together, just the two of them. they never took a day off work just to stay home and do nothing. we children expected them to support and care for us. we never thanked them for their sacrifices, and they did it every day, never uttering any complaint in our presence. i think of the many others who work without our gratitude doing jobs that help us, and i wonder if they ever have the chance to put aside their burdens and recover. there is so much we can do to show our thanks and to relieve those who carry heavy loads for our sakes. just as i am fearful as i approach leading our group, we often fail to show compassion for others, not because we lack compassion, but because we are afraid that we are inadequate to the task.
may we summon the courage to demonstrate our compassion for others in concrete ways that make their lives easier. may our compassion be greater than our insecurities. may we remember the examples of all those who have labored for our sake and do the same for others. may we never say, "i would help but i'm not good enough." shalom.
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