today i want to write about the fragility of life. it is the anniversary of my mother's death from pancreatic cancer. i remember the sequence of events that led to her passing vividly. around thanksgiving of the year before she died, we had made plans to be away over thanksgiving and were not going to the home of my mom and dad to celebrate the holiday. as i talked with my dad about our intentions, he told me that my mother was not well. she couldn't seem to eat anything and he was worried about her. hearing the concern in his voice, we changed our plans and went to their home for thanksgiving. when i saw how ill she was, i was deeply disturbed. as soon as my wife and i returned home, i called a physician friend and described my mom's symptoms. he asked if it could have her at our local hospital the next morning, and i told him that i would. i called my dad and he agreed to have her there. i could hear the relief in his voice, knowing that she was going to get medical help that the medical clinic in their little town could not provide.
after my doctor friend analyzed the results of the various tests that had been performed in the hospital, he told us of the cancer diagnosis and offered to make arrangements for us to take her to a major teaching hospital for further tests to see if any treatment was available that might give her longer to live. we immediately agreed to go. at first doctors there gave us some hope and asked us to come back the next day for further consultations. we stayed in a hotel overnight. when we returned to the hospital the next morning, the doctor with whom we met told us that the cancer had spread from her pancreas to her liver, eliminating the possibility any surgical treatment. her illness had reached a stage that all that could be done was to make her comfortable and await her inevitable demise. within four months she was gone, spending her last days in a drug-induced stupor because of the intense pain she would feel without heavy doses of morphine. it was difficult for us all to come to terms with her death and the rapidity of the disease's progress.
just a few days ago, we learned that a friend we have made since moving to this town had only a few months to live. she had been treated for cancer several years ago and had remained cancer-free until recently. her six-month checkup at her local doctor's office had revealed that the cancer may have returned. when she met with an oncologist in our state capitol, she learned that the cancer had indeed returned and had spread all over her body. suddenly her life was upended. she and her husband were devastated. their idyllic life here was at an end, and they decided to return to their hometown several states away so they could be near their children during her last months of life.
about the same time, another friend was diagnosed with colon cancer. she has just undergone surgery for the cancer, but we don't know what her prognosis is yet. because of the pandemic, she lies in a hospital bed, and none of her family or friends are allowed to visit her there as she recovers from the surgery. all of us are anxious to learn what further treatment will be required and what her prospects for a full recovery are. another friend has just undergone heart surgery in a nearby town. she, too, is isolated from her family as she recovers from the surgery. a few days ago, i received word that a high school classmate had just passed away.
it seems that death and the possibility of death touches me more and more frequently as i age. while i don't fear death, i am not ready to end this present life. it has been such a good one and promises to continue being worth living. i know, though, that death is inevitable and that i must be prepared for it. in a way, i envy our friend who knows that she only has a few months to live. she has advanced warning of the approximate time when she will breathe her last and is able to get her affairs in order and spend her last days surrounded by those she loves most. when my wife last talked to her, she was at peace with the idea that her life was coming to an end and was only concerned for how her husband would deal with her passing. her situation seems better than that of one whose life ends abruptly and without warning. whatever the circumstances, death comes to us all. it behooves us to life each day as if it were our last, to relish the goodness that life has to offer.
may we accept the possibility of our own death and that of those around us. may we realize that each passing day brings us closer to the end of our lives. may we cherish the time we are given, knowing that each minute that we have is precious. may we pack as much love and enjoyment into each day as we can, and may we use our time to serve one another. shalom.
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