for the next several weeks i want to write about those who have gone before, whose influence and presence in my life have contributed much of what and who i am. i am fortunate to have known all four of my grandparents for most of my formative years, as well as an extended family that included my maternal grandmother's mother, many great-aunts and great-uncles, my parents' brothers and sisters, and their children. we lived less than an hour's drive from both sets of grandparents. for most of my life while living with my parents, we went to one or the other most Sunday afternoons and were often joined there by other family members, including some of my first cousins.
those afternoons with my grandparents and their children and grandchildren were among the happiest of my life. i was deeply attached to some of my cousins, especially those who were near the same age as me. i've stayed in contact with those first cousins throughout my life. i have reached the stage of my life that my parents, their parents, and all of my great-aunts and great-uncles, as well as my parents' siblings and their spouses, save one, and two of my first cousins have died. my one remaining aunt, the wife of one of my mother's three brothers, is in her nineties and lives in an assisted living facility two states away. i hope to get one more visit with her during her lifetime and to see her son, my first cousin, who is a year younger than me.
sundays at my grandparents' homes were magical times for me. it was the tradition of my maternal grandmother to prepare a meal to be eaten in the early afternoon. we all gathered around her huge dining table and ate the wonderful food she had prepared. she was a great cook, and, because my grandparents owned a small grocery store that was attached to their home, she had instant access to every ingredient she could possibly need. usually there would be ten or more of us at the table, and the chatter was endless. everyone could speak, and even the smallest children were made to feel as though what they had to say was important. no topic was off-limit. we talked about politics, religion, the weather, other kinfolk and friends and reported to the others what was going on in our lives. this type of family gathering is almost unheard of now, but it was most wonderful for me as i grew up surrounded by so many who cared for me.
when we went to my paternal grandparent's home on sunday afternoons, the atmosphere was much quieter. my father's brother and his family lived a block from my grandparents, and they would often join us until they moved away when i was in the six years old. my aunt and uncle had two children, a daughter who was my age and a son who was two years younger. i enjoyed playing with them both at my grandparents' and at their home down the street. occasionally, my father's sister, her husband, and their two children would join us for part of the afternoon, but they didn't usually stay for dinner. they lived about ten miles away in the next town. my aunt and uncle's two children were a boy two years older than me and a daughter the same age as me. my father's family was very reserved, and there was much less conversation, even at the dinner table. my grandmother prepared an evening meal, so we usually ate lunch at our home before we left to visit them or stopped at a restaurant or burger stand along the way. while this grandmother's food was tasty, it didn't compare to the meals my maternal grandmother served. there was a sense of calm and quiet that prevailed in their home, a marked contrast to that of my other grandparents. nonetheless, i enjoyed being there, and because i was always somewhat introverted, i was comfortable with my father's family. his mother was a very kind person and took a special interest in me. it was always obvious that for some reason i was her favorite grandchild, perhaps because our temperaments were so similar.
this connection with my extended family on both sides was an important part of my young life. i will always be grateful for those sunday afternoons and early evenings at their homes. i look forward to writing about many of the individuals who made up our close-knit families.
may we cherish those who are important in forming the people we've become. may we remember happy times that made our childhoods wonderful and be forgiving for times that may not have been so happy. may we be grateful for those who have gone before us and appreciate the legacy they left behind. shalom.
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