Teach Us to Care for People, for All Not Just for Some

this past weekend several hundred boy scouts from our area gathered in the park across the street from our home for the annual “scout-a-rama.”  as my wife and i walked in the park, i thought about the controversy over the admission of gay scouts and leaders to the boys scouts in the united states, as well as the scouts’ position on atheist and agnostic scouts and leaders.  it would be reasonable to believe that at least one of every ten scouts is gay.  what do the policies of this organization and the constant condemnation of gay people say to those closeted gay scouts?  how do children who are raised in non-believing homes feel when they see other boys enjoying membership in scouts while they are excluded?

perhaps the harm done to atheist/agnostic youngsters is not as great as that done to gay boys, because the former are prepared by their parents for the discrimination they will face.  young gays have no such support in most homes.  these boys learn early on that they must hide who they are and listen to jokes about “fags” from their peers.  they must keep secret their true selves while adults who are their leaders, and often their parents, talk about the “sin” of homosexuality and preach about the absurd idea that those who are gay are pedophiles or that they are bringing the wrath of God down on american society.

the difficulty of being a gay young person in our society was brought home to me as i watched these boys having fun at their event during my walk.  my heart went out to those among this group who carried with them the burden of having to keep the secret of their sexual orientation hidden in order to be included.  what a great weight it must be to be constantly reminded that something that is at the core of their very being is a source of ridicule and the most vile condemnation!

my prayer today is that our society will wake up to the great harm we are doing to thousands of young people by our unreasonable gay-bashing, that we will open our hearts to accept each person for who and what they are without judgment or persecution, and that each of us will do what we can in our daily lives to support those who are different from us, no matter what that difference may be.  shalom.

So When at Times the Mob Is Swayed

yesterday i read a review of susan cain's book, quiet, in arnie kozak's blog and followed his link to her ted talk.  it was gratifying to hear that i'm not alone in my need for solitude nor in sensing that american society is geared toward extroverts.  while i admire those gregarious folk who seem to be always at ease in crowds, who never meet a stranger, and who vigorously endorse the "team" concept, i have no desire to be such a person.  i abhor the compulsion of our society to form groups for every task, though i recognize the need to reach consensus in our decision-making.

today i watched a clip about richard gere and buddhism on youtube and plan to listen to all of the "everyman" videos that explore gere's beliefs.  i also watched an interview of judy dench that appeared on danny coleman's blog and which you can also find on youtube.  in both of these videos, i was impressed by the quiet, gentle approach of both actors.  as dench said of her quaker faith, and as gere implies of his buddhist faith, "it informs everything i do."

these videos came at the perfect time for me.  i have been immersed in the busy-ness of life, with the needs of others tugging at me constantly, what with houseguests from the local orchestra, houseguests from our church, my father undergoing surgery with me the only family member in a position to attend to his needs, in addition to the normal responsibilities of daily life.  it was good to have my need to have private time for myself affirmed and to be reminded that one is not wrong to step off the merry-go-round from time to time to carve out space for one's self.

my prayer for each of us is that we are true to our selves, accepting our introversion or extroversion, being accepting of others, and allowing ourselves the freedom to dream our own dreams and think our own thoughts.  shalom.

O Love That Casts Out Fear

during the easter service this past sunday, i began to wonder how the thought of crucifixion could have come into anyone's mind.  did the romans experiment with the most effective means for execution by crucifixion?  if so, how long did it take them to perfect the technique?  did crucifixion begin with the romans?  the thought of figuring out the "best practice" for crucifixion is deeply troubling.

these thoughts led me to think about the contrast between the "pax romana" and the jewish reforms instituted by jesus.  in some ways, the roman civilization was an enlightened civilization, but this "roman peace" was a peace undergirded by fear.  those who dared speak against or rebel against their roman rulers faced terrifying punishments, including crucifixion.  against this, jesus preached a way of life based on love for one's neighbor, whether that neighbor was greek, roman, jewish, samaritan, or arab.  the love jesus preached was a love that transcended the fear that was at the heart of roman might, a love that eschewed control in favor of cooperation, a love that served rather than conquering.

we still wait for the world to embrace that love, and we christians are often the least capable of showing love to those who are the "others" of this world.  we humans still are more concerned with exerting power over others through fear and intimidation than we are with becoming servants who would wash the feet of our neighbors, despite the example of the new pope, francis (and what a beautiful example he has set at the beginning of his papacy!).

my prayer this day is that we will see others as jesus saw others, as brother and sisters without regard to ethnicity or religious belief (or rejection of belief).  may we see that love is the most powerful and the only eternal force in the universe and be channels of love.  shalom.

To Love and Be Loved

how does one deal with those who seek only their own well-being, who are always dissatisfied, who seem to never put the needs of others ahead of their own needs?  this is the problem i face with a close family member.  i see my loved one's unhappiness in never having enough of anything, as they look incessantly for new things to buy.  i see the unhappiness in coming to the end of each day as my loved one says, "this was a terrible day."  yet i seem powerless to help this family member.

this morning as i spent time in prayer and meditation, my thoughts kept returning to this person that i love, this person whose thinking is filled with "if only this or that would happen, i would be happy."  my resolve today is redouble my efforts to show this dear one love, to work to live a life of service and happiness myself in the hope that my loved one will see that happiness is possible when one lets go of the need to possess and to enjoy each moment as it comes.  i can't take responsibility for this one's happiness, but i can only do what is within my power to relieve her suffering.

my prayer for each of us this day is that we don't allow the suffering of others to pull us away from a life of service that brings joy to us, that we work to relieve suffering, not by taking responsibility that belongs to another, but by showing that is possible to let go of our own selfish desires and find the path to happiness through service.

I Am [Not] Evil, [Not] Born in Sin

last sunday in our worship service, we read a unsion prayer of confession, as we do each sunday.  the prayer in this particular service was filled with "sin" words, as one might expect in a prayer of confession, but this particular prayer sparked thoughts in me about our focus on sin and the need to continually ask forgiveness and feel guilt and shame because of our sinfulness.  as i sat in the service, i began to wonder if this model doesn't do a lot of damage.

we who were raised in the calvinist tradition have constantly been told of the evil nature of the human race and the need to constantly compare our sinfulness to the goodness of God.  we don't hear a lot about "total depravity" any more (thank goodness) but the legacy of that construct has been ingrained in us.  as i age and examine the human condition, i become more and more certain that God created us as good creatures, that our natural state is one of goodness.  but we have been given freedom to choose how we live our lives, and we do not always act in ways that are consistent with our own natures.

this practice of constantly confessing our "sins" and begging forgiveness leads to feeling that one is unworthy, degraded, a failure.  a much healther approach, and one i believe is more in line with who we truly are and how we should relate to one another and the Creator, is to realize that we are imperfect but capable of learning to make wiser choices, choices that increase our happiness and decrease our own suffering and that of others.  life is a process, and we can choose to learn and grow to become more compassionate, to live more mindfully, to listen to the voice of goodness that God placed in our hearts and minds.

we hear over and over that we need to eat healthier foods, we are too fat, we need to work harder, we need to exercise more, we need to accumulate more stuff, we need to save more money, we need to invest more money, we need, we need, we need.  the message of all that "needing" is that we are moral, social, and physical failures.  isn't it better to examine our lives, asking ourselves if this action or that practice increases or decreases our true happiness and that of others and make choices based on reasonable decision-making?

my prayer for each of us this day is that we celebrate our innate goodness, live more mindfully, and transform our lives based on choices arrived at through reason, choices that increase happiness and decrease suffering!

Like the Sunshine after Rain

if you haven’t read the art of happiness by his holiness the dalai lama and dr. howard cutler, i highly recommend it.  as i was reading one section the other day, i was taken by the discussion of the reason the sensation of pain is important.  in the section of the book entitled “dealing with pain,”  cutler cites pain: the gift that nobody wants by dr. paul brand.  brand, as retold by cutler, recalls his early experiences of treating lepers in india.  because the disease had robbed his patients of the sensation of pain in their extremities, they were often injured by wounds that became infected or by burns.  the pain that would have warned them of dangerous situations was absent, and this led to injuries that could have been rendered much less serious or avoided altogether.

this section of the book prompted me to think of the effects of some other unpleasant sensations and emotions, of the “yin and yang” of human existence.  is it possible to understand joy without experiencing sadness?  can there be happiness without suffering?  does peace have meaning if one has not been exposed to conflict?  it seems that we are able to experience the full range of human emotions in order to see the differences between those that are desirable and those that are not.  in order to benefit from the positive, there must be a negative.  those who say that the suffering in the world proves that there is no God, i think, miss the point.  suffering is caused by our own actions, and when we allow negative emotions--greed, lust for power, desire, and the like--to become the focus of our lives, suffering for ourselves and others is the result.

when we recognize that it is our own failure to turn from those undesirable, limiting emotions and work to eliminate them while embracing positive emotions--love, compassion, generosity--our own suffering and that of others is lessened.  the great gift of God is that we are given the freedom to make that choice.  my prayer for us this day is that we exercise the freedom we are given to turn from those things which increase suffering and embrace those which lead to happiness.

Snow Had Fallen, Snow on Snow

my wife and i are planning a trip to germany and switzerland, with side trips into france and austria, for the last week of november and the first week of december.  at first, we thought we'd take a cruise on the rhine river, but as i looked at all the places we could see by opting for day trips on the train from munich and basel, we decided we'd rather spend a week in each of those cities.  are we crazy for making a trip to bavaria and switzerland at that time of year?  the idea of experiencing late fall and the beginnings of winter in places where there is a pronounced change of seasons seems exciting to us.  watching snow fall on beautifully lit christmas markets sounds incredibly romantic from the comfort of my armchair in the den right now, and i hope that the reality is as magical as the picture in my mind.

another factor in our decision to travel by train rather than cruise ship is the fact that it may not be too many years before a trip as independent travelers negotiating the train stations and streets of unfamiliar european cities will be impossible for us.  when the infirmities of age necessitate seeking convenience rather than finding our way on our own, that will be the time for the river cruise!  so, it's time to start brushing up on german, checking out apartments, and making flight reservations.  we'd welcome advice from anyone who has any to offer.

what is it that makes travel like this so intriguing?  every time we travel we meet people like us, people with the same uncertainties and insecurities, people with a genuine desire to befriend strangers in a foreign environment, and a few (though precious few fortunately) who are eager to take advantage of others who are struggling to figure out how to get around in unfamiliar surroundings.  certainly the beautiful sights we try to capture in hundreds of pictures are part of the joy of traveling away from our comfort zone, but it is the ordinary people that make these trips worth taking.

my prayer today is that each of us looks at those most familiar to us with new eyes, as if meeting them for the first time, seeing that each person is a reflection of ourselves, deserving to be treated with kindness.  may we look past the petty irritations and see the inner person craving respect, love, and peace.  shalom.