A Day of Special Blessing

Today was a day of great peace.  For once, there were no pressing responsibilities.   I began the day in prayer and meditated later in the morning.  We ate a late breakfast, I watered plants outside on our deck, I went for a bike ride, we watched movies and played cards, and I investigated a number of faith and practice blogs, some new and some that I follow regularly.  Throughout the day, I felt a special joy as my heart was filled with gratitude for having a day to rest and reflect.  What a wonderful gift this day has been!

Wrong Choices/Right Choices

Yesterday, my wife and I took the day off from our responsibilities to spend a day away from home in a nearby large city.  We did a little shopping for things we couldn't get in our own town and went out to eat.  I found myself ignoring the presence of God and made some poor choices.

First, I was approached by a woman in a parking lot.  She told me a story that was obviously untrue about why she needed me to give her money.  Instead of praying before responding, I told her I couldn't help her, climbed into the car with my wife, and left.  I could have easily have reached into my pocket and given her a dollar or two, but, without thinking or praying, I didn't do that.  It wasn't my place to judge her or to refuse help, using her bogus story as an excuse.  I pray that the next time I am confronted with this choice, I'll make the right one.

Next, I found myself becoming irritated by the inattention and rudeness of sales people.  I refrained from repaying unprofessionalism with an angry outburst, but I never considered that there might be an underlying reason that I was not receiving the treatment to which I thought I was entitled.  Perhaps there were difficulties in the lives of these sales persons that I knew nothing about.  My obligation was to be compassionate, even when I was not being treated courteously.  I pray that compassion will trump my sensitivity to ill treatment by others.

Today, I went to a great deal of trouble to help my dad.  In the middle of my efforts, he made a very unkind, cutting remark that wounded me deeply.  My initial reaction was to lash out at him.  Instead, I bit my lip and sat in silence for a few moments.  I thought about my anger and hurt and looked at these emotions objectively.  When I replied, I explained in a calm voice why I had made the choice that he was so critical of.  What could have turned into an argument, as similar situations in the past have, instead turned into a pleasant conversation, with my dad realizing that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion, and the remainder of the day was filled with peace rather than anger.  I thanked God that God had spoken to me and helped me make the right choice.

Two Bike Rides

Once more I am posting about bike rides.  In a previous post, I said that my bike rides are my most extended "think times."  On many days, my bike rides are my most extended "alone times," too.  As much as I enjoy the company of my wife and others, I need time to be alone, also.  Yesterday as I rode, I concentrated on the physical sensations of the ride:  the circular motion of my feet on the pedals, the up and down motion of my knees, and particularly the deep breaths I was taking and the rhythmic relationship of my breathing to the movement of my legs.  Always when I ride, I am breathing very deeply, not from the exertion, but because the rhythmic motion encourages me to breathe deeply.  This may be why I look forward to my rides so much: it feels so good to breathe deeply for a long period of time.  At any rate, the concentration on the physical act of riding helped to keep other thoughts from my mind, in effect clearing my mind of extraneous thoughts.

Today, as I rode, I determined to just "be" in the ride, not to think about anything in particular.  Rather, I tried not to think at all.  The strongest sensations were those of the air movement around me, sometimes pushing against me as I rode into the wind, sometimes cooling me as I sped downhill or the breeze was at my back.  I didn't worry about speed or work to maintain my speed as I climbed hills.  I just relaxed in the ride.  When I finished, I felt rested, as if the ride had required no exertion at all.

Both rides were equally pleasurable, and it was nice for a change not to use this time to think through any important matters.  I don't want to always use my rides in this way, but it was what I sensed God wanted me to do to help myself these two days.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to have had these experiences.

Yesterday, I discovered that my email account had been hacked, all of the contacts had been deleted, and the hacker was sending a bogus request for money to all of my contacts.  In the past, this would have sent me into "stress level maximum."  I was surprised at my reaction.  I took logical steps to let everyone I could know that the email they were receiving was not genuine by sending a disclaimer to them through another email list that contained most of the addresses that had been deleted, I went to every account that I used the same user name and password for and changed those and investigated to determine that none of them had been accessed, and I notified the email service that had been used to send the bogus email and my own email service that had been hacked into.  An unexpected outcome was that many friends from whom I had not heard in months sent me emails sympathizing with my situation and offering advice, often hilarious advice.  What I could have seen as a disaster turned out to be a blessing because I was able to examine my emotional first reaction and logically negate the initial panic.

The transforming voice of God inside me and the practices of silence and meditation continue to amaze me and bring me great joy and peace.  What a wonderful thing it is to know that I don't have to solve my problems, because there really aren't any problems, only opportunities to hear God and experience the present fully.

A New Attitude

Yesterday, I served as substitute organist for an Episcopal church service, a beautiful service with wonderful use of the English language, many well-written hymns, as well as a great deal of sung liturgy (Gloria, Sanctus and Benedictus, Lord's Prayer, Agnus Dei).  For me, there was a LOT of music to be played, and ordinarily it would have been a very stressful service to play.  Surprisingly, that was not the case.  I had prayed several times that I would have the right intention in playing the service, that I would be able to offer my playing as a joyful offering to God, and that others would sense my intention as they participated in the service.  I found all of these things to be the case, and when the service was over, though I was exhausted, I felt joy in having opened my heart to the presence of God as I played the service.

As I have begun to try and listen for God speaking in my heart and mind and have begun the practice of daily meditation, I have noticed a great reduction in my stress level.  I feel a sense of peace and calm that is new to me.  I have never been a worrier; I have always believed that God was taking care of me and that "all things work together for good to those who love God."  Yet, lately, I don't sense as much anxiety in my mind and body when I'm in a stressful situation.

This week, I'm working on being more fully present for those I'm with, especially my family.  I hope to let God work in me to help me truly hear what they are saying, to be sensitive to their needs and emotions, and to practice compassion for them more fully than I have in the past.  I am praying each day that I will be open to God as God transforms me into a more caring, engaged follower of Jesus.

The Word

Last night, as I set in our den with my wife, I was suddenly aware that I felt a great joy in my heart and mind.  As I reflected on that sense of joy this morning, I speculated that it was God's way of letting me know that I was on the right path, and in my morning prayers I asked God to lead me to the truth about that feeling of joy.

The scripture reading for this morning was full of seeming contradictions, and I prayed about that, too.  I believe that God is leading me to a way of understanding the scriptures that I am reading and about the Bible in general.  Here is where I am right now: I believe that we are spending too much time debating, wondering, discussing, arguing about the contents of the Bible.  I believe that we are taking much of the Bible way too literally.  I believe that we need to start looking at the underlying meanings and reasons for some of the most controversial parts of the Bible rather than trying to explain away the Bible's inconsistencies.  I believe that we need to allow God to write the Scriptures in and on our hearts rather than skimming the surface content of the written Word.  I hasten to say that this is where I am now; these are not fixed conclusions.  I am waiting for God to lead me to the truth, and my perceptions now may or may not be "the truth."

If God is a spirit, then we must truly worship him in spirit and in truth.  The worship of the Bible cannot be a substitute for sensitivity to the spirit of God in us.  The Bible is a source but God is the Teacher, and only the spirit's leading can teach us how to use the Bible as God intended and find its message for each of us individually and collectively.

A Vote for Compassion

We are being bombarded by political phone calls in our home.  For each office on the ballot, I know for whom I'm going to vote.  I don't plan to vote early, because some new knowledge about one of the candidates could come to light that would change my mind, and somehow it's more like a "real" election to show up at the polls on election day and wait in line with the majority of people who also vote "on time" rather than "early."

I don't discuss politics much anymore, because we have become so polarized about our positions in this country that real discussion doesn't seem to have much point.  I had a talk with a friend several months ago about politics, though.  He is one of the few people with whom I can discuss politics, even though our political positions are very far apart.  His position was that he voted for the most conservative candidate, regardless of party.  My position was that I voted for the Democratic nominee, regardless of that candidate's position on the issues.

My view has changed, though.  I now examine the candidates of all parties and vote for the candidate that is the most compassionate.  I don't think we can go wrong by electing the most compassionate candidates, and I hope that in the upcoming election the most compassionate candidates will receive the majority of votes.  If that's not how things work out, I will have done my part to make compassion the most important consideration, and perhaps by the next major election in two years, the majority will vote for the "compassion party" instead of the Democratic or Republican party.

God's Voice or Mere Coincidence?

The last several days, my life seems to have been touched with several "coincidences."  One occurred last Sunday in worship, as one of our co-pastors spoke of how life seems to overwhelm us, with new things--ideas, music, news, fragments from the internet--constantly bombarding us.  As she spoke, I thought, "That's exactly what I've been thinking."  Her husband, our other co-pastor, writes a great blog, The Practical Disciple, and said in his blog that he is entering a "season of listening."  When I read that post, I thought, "That's exactly what I'm seeking to do."  As I explored the web, I discovered a great blog written by Danny Coleman.  His latest post was on "hearing God," and his description of how he "heard" God was so much like mine that I had to send him a comment.  The next coincidence occurred as I was reading the scripture lessons for next week for an Episcopal service where I'm filling in as organist.  The gospel reading was the reading about the prayers of the Pharisee and the tax collector in Luke 18.  I had just written a post about pride in my life in which I made reference to that text.

I sit wondering if these are really coincidences, or is God reinforcing the path I'm seeking to follow?  Perhaps our human condition is so similar that such congruencies are inevitable.  We are all victims of sensory and information overload.  That overload may be moving many of us to seek the silence in which we can hear the voice of God if we listen for it.  Maybe many Christians struggle with sin of pride.  Whether these are mere coincidences or God's reassurance that I'm on the right path, these events reinforce my desire to seek out more times of silence, to be more conscious of the presence of God throughout my day, and to give thanks to God and to those who bless my life, like our pastors and Danny, for their positive influence.