this past week my wife and i celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary. as we reflected on our lives together, we realized that, unlike most of the couples we know, we are partners in most everything we do from grocery shopping to decorating our home. for instance, when the mail arrives, we usually sit down together and go through it. each night before we go to sleep, we set goals for the next day and plan what we can accomplish together and what tasks we need to complete independent of one another to get everything done. we've never had gender roles in our marriage. i enjoy taking care of the yard, so that's something i do on my own for the most part, but when i'm down in my back or pressed for time, my wife will help out with the edging and string trimming while i'm on the mower. she loves lots of bric-a-brac, and i'm very clumsy around these little tchotchkes, so she's the duster and i'm the vacuumer when it comes to cleaning the house. we both share cooking duties.
it's been a very satisfying way to live our lives together, and i think we are closer than most couples that we know. it's awkward when we go to another couple's home for a meal, because we feel forced to conform to traditional gender roles, with my wife helping out with the kitchen chores while i sit relaxing in another room with the male of the couple. we prefer to have other people at our house, because we feel comfortable sharing kitchen duties and visiting with the other couple as we prepare to put the meal on the table. when we travel with another couple, we invariably find the men sitting in the front seats with the women in the back. by the end of the trip, my wife and i are glad to be home so that we're not separated by sitting in our "assigned" seats.
my wife and i are not only partners in marriage, we are each other's best friend. i can't imagine having lived all these years without her, and i think she feels the same way. we haven't given up our individual identities, but there is a shared identity that is the result of being partners/best friends/lovers for so much of our lives. i count myself fortunate to have shared this wonderful life with someone who cares for me so much and hope that we have many more years of enjoying each other's company.
may you find someone to share your lives with. may each of us relish the loves and friendships that enrich our lives. may those of us who have a life-partner never grow apart from that person and may we always put the well-being of that partner on a par with our own well-being. may we love deeply, richly, and well. shalom.
No comments:
Post a Comment