It Is in Pardoning That We Are Pardoned

forgiveness is an important part of being fully human.  we experience so many hurts in our lives, some petty, some major, and it is all too easy to carry around the baggage of those injuries with us.  for some of us, it is the whole reason for living:  getting even is our goal in life.  the heavy weight of these grudges--of this perpetual anger--damages us physically, mentally, and emotionally.  we rehearse old wounds over and over, constantly reminding ourselves of how another has harmed us and plotting what we can do to hurt them back.

we've all known children and parents who have ceased having anything to do with one another, often over trivial slights and disagreements.  we all have friends who no longer speak to another sibling who has hurt them in some way.  friendships end when one friend listens to a rumor about another, and, rather than talking to that friend, accepts the rumor and cuts off their relationship.  we let our wounds fester and reopen them again and again when we could end our suffering with a few words or simply by saying or thinking, "i forgive you."

this parent, this child, this brother, this sister, this friend, this acquaintance who has harmed us is so much like us.  they seek happiness, just as we do.  they hunger, they tire, they struggle, they worry just like us.  there must have been some redeeming qualities in that person with whom we had a lengthy relationship before we parted company for some reason.  why is it so difficult to recall those good features in that person who injured us?  my heart aches for those who find it so hard to forgive and let go of their anger and hurt.  life is difficult enough at best without the heavy load of anger, bitterness, hurt, and revenge.  yet we see so much of it in the world.  wars are fought, lives are ruined, businesses fail, all because of our inability to forgive.

may our hearts open to forgiveness.  may we see the loveliness in everyone, even those who have treated us badly.  may we allow ourselves to be whole, free from anger and the desire for revenge.  may we speak rather than harboring and nourishing our hurts.  shalom.