At the End of the Storm

as i write this morning, i find that my thoughts are filled with jabberings in my mind about the situation in which we find ourselves.  i would like to be thinking about and writing about something else, but i cannot.  my wife and i, like so many others, are filled with anxiety about covid-19.  we hope our leaders at every level of government have the wisdom to listen to the medical professionals and scientists who know best how to deal with this virus, that all of them, from the president on down, will have the patience to see this through to the best possible end.  we hope that caring for people will take precedence over numbers on the stock exchanges.  we hope that the shortages of medical equipment will be addressed as quickly and humanely as they can be.  we hope that our health system, fragile as it is, will not be overwhelmed to the point of collapse and that health care providers will not be overcome with infections by the virus.

right now, all most of us can do is hope.  many of us have little confidence in the leadership of the current administration and that is the cause of much of our anxiety.  from the laggardly pace at the beginning of the epidemic to the present resistance to accept fact over instinct, we see ineptness in washington.  as the senate fights over whether ordinary people or business is more important in the struggle about economic relief, those who wonder what will happen when they can't pay their rent or make their mortgage payment are filled with worry.  instead of patching holes in the social safety net and relieving our people's fear that their lives will come crashing down around them because they are unemployed as a result of the fight against covid-19, we see a government that can't agree on how to help the people they were elected to serve.

i can think of only one way to deal with the anxiety that i feel.  wishing it weren't there is no help.  finding ways to distract myself only brings partial short-term relief.  i have to acknowledge my angst and look at how it affects me.  how does my body feel in the midst of my anxiousness?  what are the thoughts that run through my mind that contribute to this feeling of unease?  what are its root causes?  is there hope that the chaos will end?  these are some of the questions whose answers will help me.  there is reason to be anxious and false hope is no panacea.  life must go on, in the midst of all this, and we must figure out how to best live it without endangering ourselves and others.  if that means staying home and minimizing contact with others, that's what we must do.  if the economy goes to pot as we fight this pandemic, that's what must happen.  we have to find the courage to stick it out and deal with it in the most intelligent way we can in order to see light at the end of the tunnel.

may we not give up.  may we face our fears honestly, admitting them and recognizing how to deal with them rather than masking them.  may we give comfort to one another.  may we honor those on the front lines of the fight.  may we continue to love and have compassion for each other.  may we be filled with an underlying sense of peace in the face of fear and confusion.  shalom.