For It Is In Dying That We Are Born

"may i understand the clinging and craving which cause my suffering."  what are "clinging" and "craving?"  in his description of love, st. paul lists these attributes of what love isn't and doesn't:  love is not envious, boastful, arrogant, or rude, does not insist on its own way, is not irritable or resentful, does not keep a count of wrongs.  perhaps these characteristics of what-love-is-not tell us, at least in part, what clinging and craving are.  all of these negatives are signs of one who is so caught up in the ego as to be incapable of love.  such a person clings to an idea of self that is the very definition of "self-ish," craving a world in which everything revolves around one's own desires.  we cling to this small self, often doing the opposite of love.  we envy others for what they have and what they've accomplished, we boast of our possessions and status while belittling others, we arrogantly proclaim our own superiority, we give little thought to the feelings of others, we insist on the rightness of our own way of thinking, we lash out at others when they disagree with others and keep a scorecard of their failings and refusals to bow to our will.  this clinging to what is "ours" and craving what is another's is a recipe for unhappiness and suffering.

in many ways clinging and craving are two sides of the same coin.  we cling to our own ways of thinking and doing, and we crave for things to remain as we would wish them to be.  yet change is inevitable; it is the only constant.  it is essential that we learn to accept change and to adapt to it.  in fact, change within ourselves is the only way that we can achieve happiness and lessen suffering.  we must abandon our unlovely ways of thinking and being little by little as we move down the path that leads to the end of our suffering.  we must become the servant of all and serve others, as jesus said, if we are to stop clinging and craving, to end our what-love-is-not ways.

may we each learn to open our hearts to the big world around us.  may we seek out larger ways of thinking about ourselves and our relationships to others.  may we embrace change and allow it to flow through us, enlarging our perspective and filling our hearts with lovingkindness.  may we accept ourselves and others in all our unloveliness without clinging to that which keeps us stuck in our smallness.  shalom.