The Words of Hope I Often Failed to Give

in reading the book, "letting go," by david hawkins, i've been most taken by his discussion of how to let go of our regrets about past actions or failure to act.  so often in meditation, painful incidents from our past surface.  we are filled with bitterness and anxiety by the ways we've hurt others or been hurt by them.  these mistakes may have taken place years ago, but they still haunt us.  we wish that we could change the way we behaved towards another or had acted when we stood by.  we can't go back and change the past, but we can learn from it and sometimes make amends.  hawkins reminds us that we did the best we could.  even if we didn't, our mind magnifies the effects of our past on others.  what we imagine as a deep injury that we caused another may have simply been a blip on their radar that was forgotten long ago while our own ego turns it into a giant storm that never existed.

one's own limited past experience and understanding is now seen by a wiser person who would have acted differently.  we can be grateful for having gained wisdom so that, presented with the same or similar circumstances, we would behave with more compassion and lovingkindness.  we can let go or those past regrets and forgive ourselves, knowing that we have gained greater insight into our own mind and heart and into those of others.  our minds cling to our past in ways that are painful to us, magnifying old hurts that we caused others or that others caused us.

 this clinging tells us that we are unworthy, playing back old recordings that create suffering where none need exist.  we can let go of that pain.  it is ironic that our search for peace and calm brings this suffering to the surface.  yet were it not so, how else could we deal with it by changing the mind's pattern to one of forgiveness and calm rather than one of regret and unrest.  we learn to revere a past that has brought us to the place we are now, grateful for the lessons we've learned, relishing the joys of the past, and letting go of the suffering caused by our ignorance.

 may we replace pain with gratitude and awareness.  may we not dwell on past missteps.  may we embrace the goodness within us and recognize the goodness within others, despite how we sometimes harm one another.  may we make the process of learning and letting go a part of our lives.  shalom.