my mother's mother, known by her grandchildren as "mamaw," was a big influence in my life. she grew up in rural southwest arkansas. early in her life, her family discovered that she could play the piano by ear, and she became the pianist for the small baptist church that was the center of social life in their community. her grandfather, the scoundrel her grandmother had left to return home from pine bluff where mamaw's mother was born, is said to have played the violin. perhaps she inherited her musical ability from him.
mamaw and my grandfather met when she was teaching school in a little village near where my grandfather worked as a surveyor for a lumber company. in those days, schools in rural arkansas only went through the eighth grade. in order to continue education beyond that point, it was necessary to move to a larger town where there was a high school or go a college that supported a high school on its campus. mamaw's family didn't have the resources for her to do either, and completion of the eighth grade qualified a person to become a teacher, as mamaw did. teachers were expected to be single women, so when my grandparents married, mamaw had to give up her teaching career.
my grandparents lived in a logging camp deep in the woodlands of southwest arkansas that could only be reached by train. the lumber company laid tracks, and a train carried in laborers and supplies and carried out the logs that had been harvested. there is a story that my great-grandmother, grandma kate, made the journey to the railhead to catch the train to visit my mamaw after my mother's oldest brother, my uncle winton, was born in the logging camp. she was told that there was not room for her on the train because it was so full of supplies. she was so insistent that she was going to ride the train into the logging camp that the engineer told her that the only way for her to ride was to sit on the cattle catcher in the front of the engine. she did that and arrived at the camp covered in soot from the steam engine's chimney with her little parasol blown wrong side out after she tried to use it to keep the smoke out of her face.
some time after winton's birth, my grandparents moved their young family to magnolia, arkansas, where they opened a small grocery and cafe near the town square. mamaw's delicious cooking and my grandfather's skill as a butcher, a trade he had learned growing up on the family farm, caused their business to prosper, and they were able to buy a home and welcome mamaw's sister, my great-aunt bess, into their home while she attended the local college with its affiliated high school. it was in magnolia that my mother and another son, my uncle bob, were born.
when my mother was in the fifth grade, my grandparents moved to texarkana, arkansas, which was a much larger town than magnolia. their grocery/cafe flourished, and they were able to move from the house they were renting into a new brick home. shortly after the move into the new home, the stock market crashed. the bank called in their loan, and they lost their home. they were able to hold onto the business and move it to a storefront attached to a home. they did away with the cafe part of the business, since few people could afford to eat out, but continued to sell groceries. there they stayed until both my grandparents had passed away.
i loved the store. every summer i would spend two weeks with my grandparents and help out in the store. i went swimming with one of my cousins, my uncle winton's daughter, and played with another cousin, richard, the son of my mother's first cousin. when i got older, richard and i would walk to the busy downtown area. sometimes we would go to a movie matinee and get a soda at either kress or newberry, the five-and-dimes downtown. we'd take the bus back within a couple of blocks of my grandparents' store and walk back from there. the public library was about ten blocks from the store, and i loved to go there and read or look at their books on stamp collecting, a favorite hobby of mine. those times in the summer with my grandparents were great experiences for me.
in my teenage years, i would spend most of the summer there, and after my grandfather and great-grandmother passed away, mamaw was especially thrilled to have my company. by that time, i could be a real help in the store and could run it by myself, except for waiting on customers in the meat department. after my grandfather's death, mamaw relied on a local butcher shop where her brother, my great-uncle arch, worked. he had learned his trade from my grandfather and always made sure mamaw had the most choice meat to sell in her store. mamaw prepared my favorite lunch, a breaded veal cutlet and french fries with a glass of iced tea with lemon, almost every day. i can still taste those cutlets, on which a pat of butter would be melted while it was still hot. i don't believe i've ever eaten any meat as delicious since then.
like her mother, mamaw was a lover of coffee. there was always hot coffee in the kitchen, and i never saw her without a coffee cup in her hand or nearby. she doted on all her grandchildren, but i was a special favorite because of the time i spent with her every summer and because i loved the store as much as she did. i remember one summer she took me with her to see my uncle bob and his family who lived near kansas city. mamaw didn't drive, so we took the bus from texarkana to fayetteville, arkansas, where her youngest son, my uncle maurice, was a student at the university. he picked us up at the bus station, and the three of us rode in his car to uncle bob's house, where i played with my three first cousins for several days. mamaw had brought a box of millionaires, the delicious chocolate candy with caramel and pecans, on the bus trip, and we ate them all the way to fayetteville. that trip is one of the most memorable events of my childhood. mamaw would sometimes go with me to the movies in texarkana. she would call a cab, and off we'd go. one of the ones i remember most fondly was "the horse soldiers" starring john wayne.
one of the things mamaw taught me was to be myself. she never insisted that i think a certain way or behave in a way that conformed to any preconceived notion of what was appropriate for a boy my age, no matter what age i was. when i was with her, i felt free in a way i never felt anywhere else. in her company, i felt like i was with a dear friend, a companion who was interested in what i had to say and in what i loved doing. i'm sure she had her faults, but in my eyes she will always be the perfect grandmother and friend. i'll always miss her physical presence in my life, but she occupies a special place in my heart and will be with me forever.
may we all be that "special" person to another. may we seek to see through their eyes and walk in their shoes. may we give love without condition. may we remember that we influence others in ways that we will never know. shalom.
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