as i was meditating a few days ago, my mind dredged up an incident from over thirty years ago when i made a foolish, embarrassing mistake. i began to berate myself for this long-ago lapse of judgment, and then i caught myself. another voice inside me told me that what was in the past needed to stay there, that i mustn't continue to punish myself for something that i could not change. i told myself to focus on the present and to let the past go. i realized that my mind was not my friend at that moment.
this sort of thing happens so often. as i was driving through town listening to the radio shortly after this realization, a commentator said much the same thing. he said, "we remember the bad things that happen to us and often forget the good, even though the good far outweighs the bad," or words to that effect. how true this is! our minds constantly seek to control us rather than the other way around. this is why we must train our minds to serve us rather than to punish us.
meditation can sometimes be a curse, because the mind has the opportunity to bring up bad things from the past, interrupting our calm stillness, as it seeks to assert control over us. we must remind ourselves that our minds are not who we are in the depth of our being. the focus on our breath takes us away from the tyrant that is our mind, drawing us to our true selves, thus allowing our true nature to take control of the mind.
may we rein in our minds when they do us harm or bring out the worst in us. may we learn from our mistakes with gratitude for the lessons they teach us without their arrows repeatedly wounding us. may we have confidence in the breath, rather than in the mind. may we experience true peace. shalom.
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