Till All Our Strivings Cease

my wife and i have been watching the first season of the british detective show, unforgotten, in which the police are trying to discover the person who murdered a black teenager in the 1970s.  the young man's body has been discovered buried in the basement of an old building some forty years later.  in the process of the investigation, we are introduced to a number of people who are linked to the building and the neighborhood surrounding it.  as the series continues we learn how their actions four decades earlier have affected their lives and the lives of their families.  we meet an anglican priest who had a brief affair with a teenage girl shortly after his marriage to his current wife, a woman who was involved with a racist organization that made the lives of many non-white londoners miserable and who has spent the rest of her life trying to atone for her actions as a young woman while covering up her past life, an elderly wheelchair-bound man whose wife suffers from dementia but believes that her husband was responsible for some terrible crime years ago, the mother of the murdered young man who has grieved for him since he left home to escape an abusive father and who suddenly stopped communicating with her for reasons unknown to her, a woman who was the girlfriend of the murdered man, and a prominent businessman being considered for an important political appointment who has tried to cover up a career as a member of an organized crime family in his early adult life.

many of these characters try to deny their past lives, excusing the ways they've harmed others as past history that is now irrelevant.  others feel great remorse and beg the forgiveness of those who love them who are seeing their lives destroyed by the ongoing investigation.  the mother of the murdered boy feels a sense of closure as she learns of his death, visits the site of his burial, and follows the investigation that will ultimately lead to her son's killer and the reasons for his murder.  as i've watched, i've thought about how i, like everyone else i suppose, have done things in my past that i'd just as soon forget and that i hope others don't find out about.  these youthful indiscretions may have had profound effects on others that i know nothing about, just as the actions of the characters in this show have done.  i can't help but wonder if any of my earlier regrettable actions may come back to bite me at some point.  i hope that nothing i've done has caused anyone else great suffering or put someone on a destructive path.

i think about how our attitudes toward the role authority figures play in the lives of those over whom they have authority, especially over children.  when i was growing up, it wasn't unusual for male high school teachers to date and sometimes marry their female students.  somehow to us teenagers it seemed romantic that one of our classmates would fall in love with and marry a teacher that we looked up to.  today such a relationship is not just inappropriate but illegal.  as we've become more sensitive to the rights of women, we've seen how wrong the patriarchal attitudes of men towards women are, but not so many years ago actions that we would now call sexual harassment were viewed as matters of course in the natural relationship between men and women.  standards of conduct have changed for the better but it seems wrong to use today's standards to condemn past actions and to belittle others for what was, at the time, acceptable behavior.  that is not to say that crimes should be swept under the carpet and ignored.  sexual abuse ought to be prosecuted regardless of how many years have passed between the time of its occurrence and its discovery by the legal authorities.

what i'm trying to say is that i wish i had realized years ago how my actions may have affected others, not that i was ever guilty of abuse or anything illegal.  i certainly did things that caused hurt to others and failed to understand that as someone who was looked up to by young people i should have been more mindful of how my actions might influence them.  my thoughtless use of tobacco as a young teacher, for instance, may have led some of my young charges to take up the habit and become addicted.  my taking advantage of my authority to snap at a student for some violation of the rules or for making a mistake caused hurt and may have inspired cruelty in impressionable minds.  my use of coarse language and innuendo when among young male students may have caused them to think that such behavior is acceptable for young men, as indeed it was many years ago, though it certainly wasn't right--something that i knew and should have acted on.

cruelty and thoughtlessness are never justifiable.  what we do has an impact on those around us and may start a series of ripples that can touch lives that we never dreamed would be affected.  i can't change past actions, nor can i live my life dwelling on them.  i can remember and try to live with greater lovingkindness and mindfulness.  i can, as the formerly racist woman in the detective series did, try to make amends by the way in which i conduct myself in the present.  we can all try to forgive ourselves and reach out to those who we know may have been hurt by what we did in the past.

may we not dwell on past mistakes but learn from them.  may we take responsibility for the harm we've done.  may we live in each present moment with the knowledge that it will never come again, filling our hearts with love and showing that love towards all those whose lives we touch.  may we be ready to forgive ourselves and those who injure us.  may we be grateful for the opportunities life gives us and for the lessons it teaches us.  shalom.

Come to Me, O Weary Traveler

i wonder what people in other countries think of the usa.  when i read or watch the news, i am ashamed of my country.  i think about the hope that i had as i watched the power of the ussr unravel, first in eastern europe and then within its own borders.  as communist dictatorships were overthrown and democratic governments were established, it seemed as if the power that was unleashed by the american revolution had come to full flower.  then there was the "arab spring" when it appeared that there was hope that all of the middle east would join the progressive wave that had earlier engulfed europe.

as i look back on that earlier promise, it seems impossible that now so much has changed.  hungary has turned into a neo-fascist state.  xenophobia flourishes in italy.  ultra-nationalism is rife in the united kingdom.  trumpism rules in the usa.  i want to be able to tell the world that all of us in this country are not like trump and his supporters.  my small voice is one of many here that decries everything trump stands for.

we watch in horror as the most desperate who are fleeing violence and poverty are thrown into virtual prisons where conditions approach those of concentration camps, where medical help is denied and children are ripped from the arms of their parents, where inedible and unhealthy food is provided, where private companies who operate these facilities make profit off the misery of others at the expense of the taxpayers.  how can we tolerate these deplorable conditions that those who have suffered so much are forced to live in?  we hear the hatred being spewed out at political rallies and the cheerleader-in-chief is our own president, a man who rules despite having lost the popular vote because of a peculiar quirk in our constitution which allows smaller states to have power that belies their population.  we recoil at the repeated horrors of mass shootings all over our country while the president and his party refuse to take steps to curb this violence, pointing to our constitution's words that give our citizens "the right to keep and bear arms."

at least in the united kingdom, there are those in the ruling party who refuse to be a part of the prime minister's rush to leave the european union and who denounce the prejudices that propelled the brexit movement into prominence.  here in this country, the members of the president's party who have dared defy him are few and far between and, for the most part, those few have been forced to retire from their positions.  even the weather reporting in this country has been politicized because those responsible for it dare not contradict the false and outlandish tweets of the president.  we stray further and further from our democratic ideals and the president's party abets the dictatorial power grab of trump.  we who oppose the current course of the country must hope that the next election will bring an end to this madness and that republican control of the senate and presidency will see its last days.

may we work so that all may live in a world where kindness and love towards one another is the rule, rather than cruelty and hatred.  may we build bridges between us, not walls.  may we resist the siren call of racial and religious divisions and see that we are all human beings first.  may we learn to disagree amicably while condemning in the strongest terms the hatreds which separate us into warring camps.  may we provide help and comfort to those who suffer regardless of the color of their skins or the language they speak.  shalom.

I Feel Pretty

one day last week i went to hobby lobby, a home decor store here in town, to pick up a candle my wife wanted.  i have mixed feelings about shopping at this store because it is part of the chain of stores owned by the family that went to court to keep from providing birth control as part of the employer-provided health care mandated by the affordable care act, or "obamacare" as its detractors call it.  this family also funds the museum of the bible in washington, d. c., which was called to task for stealing antiquities from iraq to add to its collection.  we shop there anyway, because we're not convinced that economic boycotts of businesses which are operated by people we disagree with is a good idea.  it seems to be another way of polarizing our society, and we generally don't participate in these sorts of boycotts as a way of expressing our opinion.

at any rate, that's a topic for another post.  what struck me as a i walked through the store were all the little cutesy signs that said things like "be grateful" or "family gathers here."  some people like to put these up in their homes, and that's okay if that's what you like.  one sign really bothered me, though.  it said, "a gurl [sic] is a bit of glitter wrapped up in a giggle," or something to that effect.  i immediately thought of the old nursery rhyme that goes, "snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what little boys are made of; sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of."  i wondered if someone would buy such a sign and put it up in their home and if so, if that what they think of girls and women.  the thought sent chills through me.

one of the problems with evangelical christianity is its attitude toward women.  we have a large community of mennonites in our area.  while i think there is much that is admirable about the mennonite version of christianity, i am disturbed by its requirements that girls and women must wear little veil-like coverings on their heads, must dress in homemade clothing that usually looks like it came from the last century, and must go without make-up, while mennonite men dress in "store-bought" modern clothing and are indistinguishable in their appearance from non-mennonite males.  this whole approach that seems designed to keep "women in their place" and overtly assert male dominance is deeply disturbing.  my wife and i know many marriages where the wife, no matter how intelligent and well educated, always defers to her husband because they both believe that in a "good christian marriage" the husband is the final authority in the household.  they say, "that's what the bible teaches, so we believe that's the way it must be in order to be faithful christians."

when i think of the hard-fought battles that women have fought and continue to fight to gain equal status with men, i can't believe that any woman would settle for second-class status in marriage or relationships with men in general.  how could any man worth his salt want to be the ruler of the woman he loves?  i have to agree with my wife that marriage is a partnership between two equals, not a patriarchal bargain based on antiquated views of gender roles.  we've lived this way throughout our marriage and think that we've taught both our son and daughter to live their lives in the same way.  "gurls" are certainly much more than glitter and giggles, just as boys are more than snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails.  there's so much we don't understand about gender and identity related to gender, and i hope that our society is evolving into one that is broader than the stereotypical views of male and female that we once held.

may we think before assigning gender roles to ourselves and others.  may we see fellow humans as being more like us than different from us, regardless of their gender.  may we see that each of us is never wholly male or wholly female, that we all share common traits.  even when we disagree, may love and compassion win out.  shalom.

All Nature Sings

i'm using what i write today to "think out loud" about some things i can't come to any conclusions about.  i'll probably never be able to have any finality about these matters, first because i lack the necessary scientific knowledge and second because these questions have no real answers.  i suppose there are lots of things in life that fall into that second category.  what i wonder is how necessary human life is to the continuation of other life on this planet.  would there be any great loss to nature on the whole if human beings disappeared from the earth?

we think of ourselves as somehow above the rest of nature.  those who take the bible literally remember passages that tell us we are to "have dominion" over the natural world, or that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made," or that we are created "a little lower than the angels."  christians think of jesus' words, "if that is how God clothes the grass of the field [speaking of the 'flowers of the field'], which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?," which suggest that human lives are superior to other natural lives.  but aren't we elevating ourselves because we have minds that do so?

if we think of ourselves as part of nature rather than something apart from it and slightly above it, we may not be so important in the overall scheme of things.  i wonder how dependent the rest of life is on us.  i think nature is much more necessary to us that we are to the rest of nature.  perhaps there are some organisms that wouldn't exist apart from us, bacteria, for instance, that are unique to human beings, but i don't know if that's the case.  on the whole, i don't see that we're all that essential to the remainder of nature.

certainly, there are some domesticated animals that would change radically, reverting back to their feral forms.  some food crops would disappear or evolve different characteristics because they are dependent on human cultivation in order to flourish in the way they do now.  we've developed new plants and animals that didn't exist in nature without our intervention by methods of hybridization.  we are now experimenting with manipulating genes in ways that were not possible in the past and have the ability to transplant genes from one form of life to another, thus changing the basic structure of dna.  we have the ability to clone and are not so removed from the horrors or huxley's brave new world.  but these "unnatural" creations are not necessary for the continuation of life on the planet.

our unique ability to think, to reason, to imagine sets us apart from other beings and causes us to believe that we are the only beings, that other life forms are inferior to us because they lack the intellectual powers that we possess.  the longer i live, the less i think that is the case.  i'm not so sure that many of the "lower apes" lack these mental capabilities.  when i look into the face of a dog that loves it master, i'm not so sure that this "inferior creature" is so inferior after all.  so many of the attributes we characterize as human may simply be mechanisms to insure the continuation of our species, such as our care in parenting our offspring or our ability to manipulate the natural world.  probably, we're not as special as we would like to believe.

may we not be afraid to ask "big" questions.  may we see ourselves as part of the natural order of things, and not such an important part at that.  may we show reverence for the natural world around us, not reveling in greediness that sees nature as ours for the taking.  may we honor nature in ways that insure our continuation as part of it, rather than destroying it because we think ourselves superior to it.  shalom.

In All Life Thou Livest

i've been thinking about the nature of God and what we mean when we use the word "god."  i wonder if we're trying to talk about and contemplate something that is so far beyond our comprehension that words are incapable of describing.  i wonder, too, if many of us who disagree about the existence of a god aren't really talking past each other because of the limitations of language.  are religious naturalists, adherents of various theistic and non-theistic religions, and even atheists and agnostics using terminology that ultimately means the same thing in their quest to understand life and our purpose in the grand scheme of things?

i struggle with how to refer to God.  when i pray, i usually being my prayers with the words, "o gracious God,"  but i could refer to God as the Great Mystery, Great Creator, Source of Being, First Cause, Divine Providence, Being Beyond All Knowing, or any number of similar appellations.  some avoid any name for God, using G-d, for instance.   but how does one verbalize g-d?  we can avoid thinking about how we came to be here and why.  we could choose not to think about such matters and live rewarding lives that are full of love and compassion.  for me, it is important to try to ken such things even if i can't get beyond the search for answers.

if that Great Intelligence did indeed create everything that is by causing that first creative impulse, perhaps whatever we mean by God, or whatever name we use, is a part of everything, every molecule, every atom, every fiber of every life.  perhaps all matter vibrates with the creative energy that we call God.  perhaps the collective consciousness of everything that exists, even those things that we don't think of as having "consciousness," is what makes up God.  perhaps God is a part of all things and all things taken together are God.  whenever we sense the presence of something greater than ourselves, perhaps that is God becoming known to us.  so many "perhapses."

may we seek truth, even though we are unable to fully comprehend it.  may we not be so eager to separate ourselves into our various clans and religions.  may we look for what we have in common rather than what divides us.  may we listen more than we speak.  may we value silence.  whatever we do, may we be filled with love and compassion.  shalom.

Touch Me and Heal Me

a few days ago i read an article written by a man whose father, a devout christian scientist, had died in terrible agony because he refused to see a doctor for a condition that could easily have been cured by competent medical treatment.  i thought then that i would write about the absurdity of christian "scientist" teaching, but then i began to think of the issue more broadly.  we humans are easily persuaded to adopt the most bizarre beliefs, choosing superstition over science so often.  it's easy to ridicule another's religion without a thought to the farfetched beliefs that are part of our own faith.

christians point to the ridiculous basis of scientology, with its teaching that the "thetan" that is the embodiment of one's true self lives multiple lifetimes both on earth and extraterrestrial planets.  we make light of the central role of mohammed in islam and the reverence his followers have for the koran.  the buddhist teachings about reincarnation and enlightenment are condemned by christians.  yet, we don't stop and think about how outlandish many central christian beliefs seem to a non-christian.

is it possible that the creator of the universe would cause a virgin to become pregnant and give birth to a child that is the embodiment of that powerful creator?  would a loving god require that "his only son" suffer the agony of crucifixion in order to atone for the sins of humanity?  are we to believe that "the son" who died in that way rose from the dead three days later and subsequently ascended into heaven with his disciples as witnesses?  when we examine orthodox christian teaching in this way, our religion doesn't appear any less fanciful than many of the world's other religions.  our willingness as christians to only see what we want to see in our own and in other religions puts up barriers between us that don't have to exist.

i remember as a child watching faith healers like oral roberts on television.  there in black-and-white reality were these charlatans who laid their hands on the sick and prayed for or commanded their infirmities to disappear.  the "cured" walked away convinced that a miracle had occurred.  my family watched these so-called religious services in fascination and disbelief, but we were drawn to watch them again and again.  as i think back, i am certain that the emphasis on miraculous cures in the gospel accounts of the life of jesus have led to belief in faith healing with disastrous results for those who are desperate for cures that medical science can't always provide, and indeed those who are convinced that jesus really did cause the lame to walk and the blind to see are often willing to substitute "faith healing" for medical treatment even when scientific medical practice could cure, or at the very least, ease their dis-ease.

may we examine our own beliefs dispassionately.  may we stop substituting superstition for science.  may we be willing to admit that faith in the supernatural is no panacea for what ails is, both physically and as a society.  if we believe in a god, may our belief be in a god that encourages us to use our minds rather than accepting illogical teachings that have been passed down to us, a god of logic and love.  shalom.

Family All Are We

in the wake of mass shootings in el paso and dayton coming on the heels of the recent shooting in california, it appears that racial animus is not only alive and well in our country but being encouraged by many of its leaders, particularly the president.  while the motives of the shooter in dayton remain unclear, the other shootings are hate crimes inspired by similar shootings elsewhere and by the perpetrators' hatred for non-white people.  some of the actions, or failure to act, on the part of the president and his supporters in congress include:

• refusal to close loopholes in gun laws that allow the purchase of weapons without background checks
• refusal to ban weapons that are designed to kill many people quickly, weapons that have no place in sport shooting
• blaming mass shootings on everything but the availability of such weapons and the incitement to violence by politicians, citing video games, the "breakdown in the family," violence in movies, mental illness, and same-sex marriage, among others, as causes for such shootings
•  making a joke out of calls to shoot immigrants at one of the president's political rallies
• glorifying people, like colby covington, who engage in violent racist rhetoric while vilifying athletes like colin kaepernick and megan rapinoe who disagree with the president's policies and public statements
• attacking elected people of color such as members of "the squad" and civil rights hero elijah cummings
• using disparaging terms when referring to countries with majority black or brown populations
• attacking the public media when it accurately reports racist statements by the president and others who support him
• describing immigrants as criminals, rapists, and murderers
• threatening to label members of the antifa movement as a terrorists while ignoring white supremacists
• saying that "there are fine people on both sides" when talking about the violence perpetrated by white supremacists at a charlottesville, virginia, rally

the list could go on.  while a few republicans are beginning to speak out in opposition to the party's and trump's racist pronouncements and actions, most have either supported him and their party or remained silent.  there is little doubt that trump's language has given the most vile racists in the country courage to speak out rather than doing their dirty work under the radar as they once did.  the richard spencers of the world are emboldened by the president's speeches and tweets.  racist nationalism is on the rise in places like hungary, france, germany, russia, myanmar, and the united kingdom, and we are all endangered because of it.  those of us who believe that we must work to end the scourge of racism around the globe and particularly in the usa must speak out against this hateful philosophy.  we must look in our hearts for the racism there and work to end our own racist tendencies.  we must vote out those who encourage and promote such vile ideas out of conviction or for their own gain.

may we look within ourselves for the courage to admit our own complicity in racist ideology.  may we support those who promote solutions to ending racism.  may we see beyond the color of another's skin and the religion or lack thereof of another to view the person who is like us.  may we love even the most hateful while condemning their despicable philosophies.  shalom.