The Corners of My Mind

each time i pick up our local newspaper, one of the things i skim through is the obituary page.  i seldom know those whose deaths are recorded there, but i note the ages of each person when they died.  i am reminded of how near to their ages i am and how grateful i should be to be alive and to be healthy.  i am also reminded that death can come at any moment, regardless of age or seeming health.  each day is a gift that we cannot earn, no matter how well we take care of ourselves.  each of us should be grateful for that gift and vow to make the most of it.

i am close friends with a couple whose lives have been long, happy, and fruitful.  one member of this pair is 88, and the other is 92.  it is fascinating to hear them recount their experiences from their youth to the present.  i am amazed at their youthfulness, despite their advanced ages.  though they are almost twenty years older than i am, they seem as full of life and as healthy as my wife and i.  they take care of a large home with a full, finished basement, as well as a huge yard that fills at least an acre, with many trees, flower beds, and fences to trim around.  their yard is full of plantings that are well-maintained, and their home is always spotless.  part of their good health is the necessity of taking care of their home and yard, which includes frequent trips up and down the stairs from level of their home to the other.

last night, my wife and i watched a movie about a woman who was forced her to give up the home in which she and her husband had raised their two children because she was no longer able to care for it.  her home was filled with happy memories.  everywhere she looked, she was reminded of her husband who had died several years before and of family celebrations that had been high points in her life.  she fought mightily to stay in her home, but a series of events convinced her that she could no longer remain there.  after trying to live with her daughter and her daughter's family, she realized that the best choice for her was to move to a retirement home where she could make new friends and have assistance with the daily necessities of life.  the inspiring point of the movie was seeing her embrace the opportunity to move on to the next stage of her life, as she saw that she could no longer live the life her younger self had loved.

may we each acknowledge that life is a series of changes to which we must adapt.  may we accept the aging of our bodies and work to keep ourselves as healthy as we can.  may we keep our minds active and engaged as we grow older.  may we impart what wisdom we can to those who follow us.  shalom.

To Ever Be Sincere and True

we have returned from our trip, and i'm glad to begin writing again.  while it was nice to have a break, i missed creating a little post for each week.  my thoughts lately have been about what goes on in my mind and comes out of my mouth regarding other people.  it's easy to be critical but hard to think only of the good in others.  i suppose most of us see others' faults but we are not inclined to look for their virtues.  it has been my intention for the past several days to "think kindly of others, and not to become angry or think badly of others."  this is a phrase i have repeated to myself every morning for many months, but recently i have been trying to live out this intention more mindfully.

i tell myself that, when i fail in my intention, i can forgive myself and renew my resolve.  the mind has a natural bent toward seeing what is bad rather than looking for the good.  our psyches are programmed in this way, and it takes much reprogramming to turn from this natural impulse.  buddhism teaches that we can train our minds, and it is my hope that by making it a special intention each day that i can learn to see the good in others and refrain from criticising the bad.

we cannot discern why others act and think in certain ways.  we don't often have detailed knowledge of their past, of their upbringing, of the factors that made them as they are.  what we see as faults in others may be misunderstood.  a person who is brusque and seems rude may not be so intentionally.  when we get to know such a person quite well, we often find that what we perceive as rudeness is something very different.  they may have been forbidden from speaking openly and honestly as children and forced to hide their natural exuberance in a "children should be seen and not heard" sort of household, so their speech patterns are short and to the point, while underneath their manner of addressing others is a tender heart.  ours is not to judge but to accept, to look beyond what seems to be and to try and discern the underlying truth.

may we look kindly on others, even when it seems difficult.  may we not dwell on their faults, but seek out their virtues.  may we be accepting, even when it is easier to reject.  may we not build ourselves up by tearing down others.  may we love without condition.  shalom.

Out in the Highways and Byways of Life

i am traveling with my wife for the next two weeks, so i will not be posting to my blog.  during this time, may you be filled with happiness, peace, health, lovingkindness, and compassion.  shalom.

They Have Their Exits and Their Entrances

last night my wife and i went with four relatives to see a play based on a biblical story.  i had seen another production by this presenter several years ago, so i knew something of what to expect.  what i saw confirmed my opinion of this company's approach to retelling a tale from the bible.  the production values were of the highest quality, with gorgeous sets and inventive use of mechanics to transform the stage for each scene.  when the action moved inside a building, the walls of the building unfolded so that the interior was revealed and returned to their original orientation when the scene moved back outside.  sets rose from beneath and above the stage smoothly and silently.   actors disappeared from the center of the stage, only to reappear in one of the center aisles to move back toward the stage as if by magic, as the set onstage changed.

the costumes were gorgeous.  characters who were members of the ruling nobility wore robes and crowns that sparkled.  others who were common people were dressed in garments of many different colors, each costume reflecting the status and personality of the character.  live animals adorned in brilliant trappings appeared from time to time when the story called for their presence.  the result was an amazing presentation with great attention to detail, and the audience often gasped at the beauty of both the sets and costumes.

these production values were enough to justify the somewhat costly ticket charge, so i was glad i had gone.  the quality of the acting, singing, and script was disappointing, though.  rather than tell the story in a straightforward way as it was in the bible, the plot was embellished so that it reflected the religious beliefs of the producers.  the actors were overly dramatic, as was the music.  in a heavy-handed manner, the point was made that "God is in control."  every event, no matter how tragic, was a part of "God's purpose."  the characters were mere pawns playing their part to make the outcome what "God intended it to be."  every song reflected the singer's angst about where the plot was taking them, and the underlying orchestral accompaniment, though well-played and orchestrated, contributed to this feeling of uncertainty.

after the play concluded, members of the staff and some of the actors stood in front of the stage, and members of the audience were invited to come forward to "make professions of faith" or to discuss "prayer concerns" with the employees of the theater.  all-in-all, it was too obvious that the story was not intended to stand on its own and allow the audience members to draw their own conclusions.  rather, the play was merely a vehicle intended to lead the observers to embrace a particular religious viewpoint.  i left this heavy-handed propaganda piece with mixed emotions.  i went expecting to leave with this impression but i wanted to see the production values of the costumes and sets, knowing that i would not agree with the attempts to manipulate the audience to adopt a particular set of beliefs.  i expect most of those who attended agreed with the perspective of the play's producers, and those who did not, like me, left unchanged but satisfied with the beauty of the scenery and costumes.

may we not allow ourselves to be persuaded by those who put the value of propaganda over honest storytelling.  may we use our minds to separate fact from opinion.  may we be tolerant of others' beliefs even when they are not our own.  may we look for beauty where we can find it and give credit where it's due.  shalom.

Now for Us in Life

when i opened the insight timer app on my phone this morning to begin my daily meditation, this sentence by eckhart tolle appeared:  "wherever you are, be there totally."  these are six difficult words.  i began to look around our living room where i was sitting and to think about what being in this space totally might mean.  first, i looked all around me, to the right and to the left.  

next my eyes settled on a good-sized round table that sits in front of the large window that looks onto our deck and off to the mountains behind our house.  on this table is a beautiful lamp with a floral pattern on a white background.  the bulb is covered by a graceful shade.  this lamp is switched on and off by a timer, so it is usually on by the time i sit down to meditate each morning.  the lamp is only one of several beautiful objects on the table.  in front of it are three lladro figurines.  one is a young girl holding a kitten with a larger cat at her feet.  the other two are of angelic children, one seated and the other reclining.  all three are perfect representations of innocence and peace.  to the right of the lamp is a display of three pocket watches, one of which belonged to my paternal grandfather and the other to my father.  both are treasures that have great meaning to me.  i don't know how we came to possess the third pocket watch.  to the left of the lamp is a lovely waterford crystal biscuit jar, and in front of the biscuit jar is a small round tray commerating the coronation of queen elizabeth ii that i found in an antique shop in a nearby town.  altogether, these pieces make a lovely display on the table, one i pass every day without really noticing it.

i could go around the round describing all its contents that i pay little attention to each day.  much of our lives are like the experience i'm having as i write this post.  we move through our days and, if you're like me, you are seldom totally present.  our minds are taking us off to recollections of past events or worries about the future.  we drive past beautiful scenery in our cars without noticing what is just outside our windows.  we sit in beautiful rooms and fail to pay attention to all the lovely things that surround us.  we see people in distress as we move through our lives and do nothing to help them.  tolle suggests that we should be totally present wherever we are, and that's an admirable goal to work toward.  it's also a difficult goal.  my intention today and for the next few days, and, if i work at it, for the remainder of my life is to wake up and pay attention.

may we each awaken as fully as we can.  may we not waste the present with regrets about the past or worries about the future.  may we treasure where the past has brought us and plan for the future while paying attention to what is around and in us in the present.    "wherever you are, be there totally."  shalom.

O'er Moor and Fen

this morning my thoughts arising from my meditation turn to the idea of intercessory prayer.  i can't recall an instance where jesus prayed that someone would be made well.  instead, jesus acted to heal the ills of those around him.  i think of the woman who simply touched his clothing and was instantly cured or the centurion whose servant was healed without jesus ever seeing the sick person.  while i don't believe such miraculous cures really happened, the stories of such events in the gospels indicate that jesus taught that human action, rather than superstitious prayers, was the effective means for helping others.

if God really is omniscient and caring, God already knows when we are in need of healing care.  we don't need to ask God to heal us.  we may ask God to give us the knowledge to turn to those who can take action to provide the care we need.  we may ask for strength to endure the necessary treatments or wisdom to seek out the best provider for our care.  we may ask for those who treat our disease to have the skill needed to help us, but i believe it is selfish and wrong to ask God to heal us.  why should God heal us while condemning another to die when that person has uttered the very same prayer?  God is not the cause of our illness any more than God is the cause of our cure.

praying for God to intervene in our lives is not the same as saying, "may i recover from my illness" or "may i find healing with the help of those treating my disease."  this change to "may . . ." from "God, please . . ." recognizes our deep wish for recovery but it does not place the responsibility on God but rather on the person praying and on those caring for that person.  God gave us minds for a reason and that reason is not blind faith or abandoning personal responsibility.  so often i hear a sick person or a member that person's family say, "it's in God's hands now."  no, it is in our hands.  we may say, "may i have the strength and intelligence to endure or to recover," but i believe it is a mistake to ask God to take responsibility for our lives.

may we rely on our own initiative, reason, and abilities to effect change in our lives, rather than insisting that God must be responsible.  may we have a faith that teaches us that God gives us what we need and expects to use what God has given us.  shalom.

Through All the Circling Years

i've been working on remembering to be grateful for all the many blessings i enjoy.  when we reach a certain age, we begin to see that our days on this earth are limited, at least in this present life.  upon awakening, i realize that i've been given a new day and that every moment of this day is precious.  there is no guarantee that i will see another.  as i've begun to realize this, i've become more aware of the many gifts each day brings.

the fact that this body which is aging still functions reasonably well is something to be grateful for.  i have a few aches and pains, but my legs still carry me wherever i want to go.  my back hurts some of the time, but i'm still able to do exercises that help alleviate the pain and strengthen my core muscles that help to support my spine.  i can eat pretty much anything i want without suffering ill consequences from the foods i enjoy.  i think my brain is still about as sharp as it ever was.  all things considered, as i approach my 77th birthday, i am grateful that my body still enables me to do whatever i demand of it.

i have the financial resources to live comfortably, to travel wherever i want to, and to make the home repairs and improvements that are needed.  i live in a lovely home.  i have two dependable vehicles to drive.  many of the world's people do not have such financial security.  while i worked hard for over fifty years to be in this position, there are others who have worked as hard or harder who struggle in their old age to make ends meet.  for the gift of a steady, plentiful income and healthy savings, i am grateful.

i am glad that my financial position affords me the opportunity to share what i have with others.  my wife and i are able to contribute to many worthy causes that make the world better for others.  we give much of what we have to charities that provide clothing and food to those in need.  each time we send money or goods to these charities, i am grateful that we are able to do so.

i can still delight in making music.  i play two or three sundays each month for a local church.  i look forward to each opportunity to play, and the congregation is quick to show its appreciation for the music i share with them.  i will always be grateful to my parents for giving me music lessons as a child and to my beloved teacher who showed me how to appreciate great music.  i am fortunate to have had many wonderful teachers over the years.  i hope that as i make music for others, they will be inspired to value the power of music to enrich all of our lives.

i am grateful for my loving family: for my wife of 55 years, for my two wonderful children and their partners, and to those who have gone before and for their contributions that made me who i am.  we are not isolated individuals who belong solely to ourselves.  we are an amalgam of all those who have played a role in our lives, including many ancestors of whom we know little or nothing.  

may we be grateful for all of life.  may we realize that blessings flow to us, the gifts of so many.  may we see that even our adversities bless our lives, helping us to become stronger and pushing us in directions we might not have chosen but which are nonetheless beneficial to us.  may we take time to count all those things for which we should be grateful and remember the importance of gratitude.  shalom.