Yesterday was Monday, and my feelings throughout the day puzzled me. After filling in for ailing pianists all last week, I rushed from singing the anthem with our church choir Sunday morning to spend six hours rehearsing and singing in two back-to-back performances with our local community chorus and symphony. I kept thinking all day yesterday that I should be full of Christmas cheer on the Monday before Christmas, and yet I felt completely "blah." As I told my wife, I was stricken with "people fatigue," only wanting to be by myself and do as little as possible. Of course, that wasn't possible; there were many preparations that required our attention. As I moved through the day, I kept praying that I would open my heart to what the day was supposed to bring. I fell asleep last night, still wondering why the day had gone as it had. Nothing bad had happened, yet I just felt a numbness about the experiences of the day.
When I prayed this morning, I asked God to help me think objectively about my feelings about yesterday. A little later that morning, I suddenly realized that yesterday was as it was supposed to be. For days, I had been running non-stop, taking little time for myself. I should have been exhausted. I should be feeling the need for some time alone. I'm not supposed to feel exuberant joy all the time. God had given me yesterday to recharge. Despite my tiredness and my desire to do nothing, I did not allow my frustrations to cause me to be inconsiderate of others, I did not balk at shouldering my share of the Christmas preparations. Just by patiently going through the motions of the day, I had experienced what I was supposed to experience and had no reason to feel any regrets.