January has been a blur. The demands of life have been great, and while i've haven't done one thing that i didn't want to do, the activity level has not been conducive to a tranquil life. Last night, as i went to bed, my frustration meter took a sharp upward tick, and my level of frustration with the busyness of life had to be talked about. My patient wife listened, and we went to sleep. It was a deep and restful sleep, and when i woke up this morning, i determined that today would be another day of fasting.
From last Sunday afternoon until yesterday afternoon, i "fasted" from computer use. While visiting friends in another town, i left my computer at home--no email, no blogging, no following of others' blogs. When i opened my computer again upon our return home, i found that i had not missed using it that much, though i was glad to see what others had written on their blogs and enjoyed catching up with friends through reading their emails and their Facebook posts.
Today's "fast" was one of fasting from responsibilities. It was a day of taking some time for myself, of enjoying a personal retreat, thinking about some issues that are of concern to me. To my amazement, i found a number of the blogs i follow had posts about blame, a subject that is much on my mind. Why are we so obsessed with placing blame? The top headline on our local paper's front page was about a mother seeking to assign blame to as many people as possible for her child's drowning. We've witnessed all the finger-pointing to assign blame for the shootings in Arizona. When something goes wrong, how often do we say, "It's not my fault. I didn't do it?"
Do we accomplish anything by assigning blame? Why is it so difficult to accept the fact that sometimes bad things, or even merely inconvenient things, just happen? Is it someone's fault (maybe my own?) that life has been so full of activity this month? No, that's just the way it worked out. Every activity has been enjoyable, but last night, it was too much of a good thing. After analyzing and discovering that's the case, it's been good to call a halt for this one day.
Everything is as it should be, and tomorrow i'm ready to jump back into the stream of activity that life demands for now. My wish for each of us is that we know when to plunge into that stream and when to sit on the bank and watch the stream flowing by. Fault-finding has no role to play.