last week i wrote about accepting what is and dealing with it, taking things one step at a time rather than focusing on what comes next. i've worked on that this week and caught my mind trying to take over and rush into the future. on a number of occasions, i've been able to stop my anticipation of where i'm headed and return to the present moment. this is work that makes life more enjoyable and helps me to slow down.
one area of my life i'm trying to slow down is my habit of eating as quickly as i can. as a teenager, i struggled with the inability to put on weight and keep it on. my parents worried about how thin i was and my persistent problems with anemia. our family pediatrician advised me to drink as much whole milk as i could and to eat quickly so i could consume more food. i followed his advice and was able to put on a few pounds and keep them on. when i became a teacher, i had to eat quickly so that i could return to my duties. most teachers of young children will tell you that downing lunch in a matter of minutes is a necessity. part of a teacher's allotted lunch time is taken up with moving a class to the cafeteria, gulping down your own meal, and getting to some supervisory duty on time.
this habit of years of consuming as much food as possible in a short amount of time has caused some health problems for me. in middle age, i gained a good deal of weight, and in my senior years i've developed some digestive problems. both these issues can be attributed to my practice of eating quickly. now i'm trying to slow down and appreciate the food i'm consuming. i'm reminding myself to take smaller bites, to chew my food thoroughly, and to treat mealtime as an opportunity to visit with my wife and friends, rather than as a chore to be completed in the least amount of time possible. it's going to be hard to change a practice that has been part of my life for almost sixty years, but i'm going to try to eat more mindfully. already, i can see some results of my efforts, and that makes me confident that i can control my eating patterns and make this part of my life more enjoyable and healthy.
as i sit here and write, i am trying to focus only on what i'm doing. i know that another task that is part of my morning routine will follow, but i'm not going to rush through my writing in order to get to the next part of my day. right now, my mind is telling me that i need to hurry up, but that's not what this little essay needs. instead, what i'm doing now is what is important, and i will work at concentrating on what comes next when the time comes. i ask myself if i've said all i intended to say, if i've come to a better understanding of how to live in the present moment. i think i have. i'll continue to work on eating mindfully and on living each minute of my life as fully as i can.
may we learn to let go of regret about the past and anxiety about the future. may we realize that everything we need is right now in the gift of each breath we've been given. may we never stop working on gaining control of our minds. may we be good observers of the lies our minds tell us. may we learn that real peace comes from within as we allow our true selves to find expression. shalom.
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