Bis Später!

my life has become hectic lately.  we are driving over to take care of our granddaughter every week, looking for a new home to be near our son and his family, and packing our current home in anticipation of our move.  i've decided that i should suspend writing this blog until our lives slow down.  i look forward to the time when we are settled in a new home and life is moving at a slower pace so that i can resume journaling about the path i am taking.  until then, may you be filled with lovingkindness and compassion, may you be well, may you be peaceful and at ease, and may you be happy.  shalom.

 

I'll Send the Sun Smiling Through

as i watch Kamala Harris's campaign, i am impressed with the sense of joy she brings to her run for the presidency.  i see that same joy in the vice-presidential nominee, Tim Walz.  this joy is in sharp contrast to the candidacy of donald trump and j. d. vance, both of whom seem to be filled with negativity and anger.  at their respective rallies, i see the candidates' attitudes reflected in the faces of their supporters:  those who listen to harris and walz appear happy, while trump's and vance's followers seem to be filled with rage.

an attitude of happiness is important if our lives are to be fulfilling and positive.  anger is harmful to those who fill their lives with it and to those around them.  happiness begets happiness, just as anger infects those who spend their time with others who are angry.  happiness is our natural state, and when we allow bitterness and a sense of victimhood to creep into our lives, we become less human.  we suffer mentally and physically and inflict our pain on others.

i did not always believe that happiness was a worthy goal.  i thought that our chief aim ought to be to fulfill a sense of duty and obligation, even when doing so made us unhappy.  i now realize that one can be happy while still shouldering our responsibilities.  when we feel duty-bound to do something that makes us unhappy, that task is not something we ought to undertake.  it is good to say no at times.  we must live the sort of happiness that brings us joy and spreads joy to those around us, not a selfish pleasure-seeking life that flits from one temporary moment of elation to another.

may we make happiness our intention.  may we let go of anger and recrimination.  may we not seek out temporary pleasures and instead discover what makes us happy for the whole of our lives.  may we share our happiness with others.  shalom.

Memory Lingers On

each week when we go over to care for our granddaughter, we marvel at the changes we see in her.  this week, she had become able to sit up for longer periods of time and was struggling to figure out how to move from a lying position to a sitting position.  she was tracking movements around her with more precision and interest.  she had learned to hold her bottle on her own and knew that if she raised the bottle to a higher position she could get the last of the milk from it.

seeing her development has made us yearn to spend more time with her, so we have decided to move closer to the home of our son and his partner.   we are exploring the different towns nearby and looking at the available housing.  we've been told that our home here will sell quickly, so we know that we will need to be prepared to move as soon as we put it on the market.  knowing that we may be able to spend more time with our granddaughter and her parents and to be of greater help to them fills us with excitement, though we dread packing up and moving.

as we age, we will need more assistance from our children, so it seems prudent to be closer to them.  when we need them, it's unfair of us to expect them to make a two-hour drive each direction to get to us.  knowing that we may soon be near our family is exciting, especially so since our daughter and her husband plan to move to the same area in a few years when they retire.  the thought that we may be able to live out the remaining years of our lives with our children nearby fills us with a joy that outweighs the arduous task of moving.

to end our years on this earth near our children and grandchild makes the coming of death more palatable.  may we each hold those we love dear to our hearts, even when we are separated by many miles.  may we do what we can to help one another.  may we see each person we encounter as one of our kin in the knowledge that we are all brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and children of one another.  shalom.

When Morning Lifts the Veil

when i think about suffering, i am reminded of the part of my morning meditation when i say, "may i understand my suffering, may i recognize the clinging and craving which cause it, may i have confidence in and take refuge in the teachings of jesus and the buddha, may i learn to walk on the path that leads to the end of suffering."  in the past couple of years, i have experienced the suffering that comes from aging.  i feel pains i never felt before, and i am reminded that my body which has served me so well is wearing out.

i've gone through two rounds of physical therapy to help ease discomfort in my back and hips.  fortunately, the exercises i learned in therapy help if i do them regularly.  now i must make time to do them daily in order to live my life without debilitating pain.  i suppose part of my suffering in this sense comes from longing to function as i did at a younger age, but the physical suffering i experience is the result of something quite different from "clinging and craving."  

most people my age are suffering in the same way as i am.  we try to stave off the effects of aging, but our efforts are not entirely successful, though they may offer some relief from pain.  recently i read that it is a good thing to remind ourselves daily that we are dying.  as long as we have breath, we are in the process of coming to the ends of our lives.  as i told my daughter yesterday, i am getting old and i want to continue to get older.  the only remedy for stopping our dying and aging process is death.

may we be grateful for bodies that have seen us through the days of our lives.  may we recognize that each breath brings us closer to the cessation of breathing and give thanks for those breaths.  may we live our lives so that we can say that we have lived fully, compassionately, and well.  shalom.

The End of Trouble I See

i am deeply disturbed by the controversy over president biden's age and the drumbeat of "important" people calling on him to step down as the democratic party's nominee for the next election.  here is a man who has spent most of his life in public service, who has demonstrated competency in his work, and who brings years of wisdom to his job, yet his age disqualifies him from continuing as president, according to many elected officials and hollywood stars.  now, bowing to the incessant talk about his infirmities, he has stepped out of the presidential race.  many of us are saddened by his decision but understand why he has made it and wish him and whoever succeeds him as the democratic nominee every success in defeating donald trump.

the arrogance of those who decry his ability is representative of the ageism that many people harbor.  as one who is only a few years younger than president biden, i experience the assumptions about me as i go about my daily life.  i appreciate their kindness as they open doors for me or offer to assist me with heavy loads.  i know that when people offer to help me, they do so out of a genuine desire to be considerate because of my obvious age.  still, i can't help feeling resentful when they assume i am incapable of doing things for myself simply because i'm "old."

perhaps i don't have the stamina or strength i once had.  maybe i have trouble finding the word i want to use from time to time.  my hearing isn't all it used to be.  still, my mind is nimble.  i work at learning new things.  i read voraciously.  i can do all the tasks of daily life.  i take care of my yard, and working together my wife and i keep our home clean and cook our own meals.  there is little i'm unable to do now if i want to.  it may just take a little longer.

may we respect those whose years have filled them with wisdom and knowledge.  may we not assume that advanced age is a handicap.  may we honor those who have given their lives to make things better for others.  may we accept our limitations but not allow them to define us.  shalom.

I Want to Be Happy

when i went to bed last night, i reflected on the day i had completed and the happiness it brought me.  there was nothing extraordinary about yesterday.  we had a late breakfast, shopped for groceries, saw a new movie at the local theater, and spent the rest of the day watching old clint eastwood spaghetti westerns.  for supper, we had some delicious hamburgers made from beef patties i had grilled earlier in the week.  it was just one of those unhurried, relaxing days that seem to come too seldom.

i thought about how simple pleasures and chores can bring us happiness.  spending the day with my wife was so pleasurable, as the day made few demands on us.  i suppose happiness is something we choose, not something that happens to us.  our son's partner is a happy person who always has a smile on her face.  her attitude towards life is positive and contagious.  we see how her happiness has infected our son and their new daughter, who, like her mother, has a quick smile even at under four months of age.  we know that her smiles are reflections of her parents.

i have made it my intention to give thanks at the end of each day for the day just completed, remembering the joy it has brought me.  may we each see the little events that contribute to our happiness and be grateful for them.  may we see that adversity can be a source of joy as we learn and grow from the opportunities life brings us.  may we begin each day saying, "today i am fortunate to have awakened.  i have a precious human life."  shalom.

I'd Ring Out Love

we had a conversation with some friends last night about a nephew of theirs.  they were perplexed by the changes they have observed in him.  on the one hand, their nephew is a kind person.  he is active in his church, spending much of his time in helping prepare and serve meals to the homeless and participating in fundraisers to benefit the church's outreach missions.  on the other hand, he is an ardent follower of the "maga" movement, attending rallies that support donald trump and his endorsed political candidates.  he vows that he is ready to take up arms in support of his political beliefs if that becomes necessary.

our friends are deeply disturbed by the political radicalization of their nephew and wonder how two seemingly disparate personalities seem to dwell in him.  they say that before donald trump came on the scene, he was a moderate conservative with little interest in politics.  we see the same behavior in some of our relatives and acquaintances and are at a loss to explain it.  it's easy to say that this dichotomy is the fault of trump, but, while the "maga" philosophy may be the catalyst, there is something else that was there long before donald trump became a political force.

it may be that many people see themselves as superior to members of other races and religions, that they see those who are less fortunate as deserving help and sympathy but somehow inferior to them.  perhaps they fear the decline of power among whites, especially white men, as threatening and are determined to hold on to their traditional roles as those who are in control of the mechanisms of government.  maybe the hatred that trump voices publicly has given them permission to express their own prejudices and hatreds more forcefully.

whatever the cause, the rise of anti-democratic sentiment in our country is disturbing.  may those who are a part of trump's movement see the danger their support of such views poses.  may those who believe in the innate goodness of others continue in that belief and continue to be filled with lovingkindness.  may the force of good ultimately triumph over prejudice and hatred.  shalom. 

More Than Self

a few nights ago my wife and i watched the "debate" between president biden and the "other guy," as president biden calls him.  we were disturbed by the president's seeming frailty.  his voice was failing.  he had some difficulties stating his case.  he stumbled over words.  his eyes often looked weak and unfocused.  for the first time, we saw him as an old person.  he seemed ill and shouldn't have been on the stage.

we were more disturbed by trump's constant stream of lies.  he spoke of a country that we don't see around us, describing the usa as a failed nation, filled with crime and poverty.  certainly we have our share of both, but we see a prosperous nation, where most people are happy and living fulfilling lives.  we took issue with his constant belittling of the immigrants coming to our southern border, whom he characterized as thugs, criminals, rapists, and insane.  while we don't condone their attempts to enter the country illegally, we understand that they do this to make better lives for themselves and their families.  all the hispanic immigrants we know are hardworking, kind people who are willing to take on the most menial jobs and constantly seek to improve themselves and provide for their children.  trump's characterization of these immigrants is unjustified and flows from his racist beliefs.  he wants to use them as pawns in a cruel political game that shouldn't be tolerated in a free society.

we took issue with almost every feature of this unfortunate event.  the moderators treated trump with a deference he didn't deserve.  they didn't challenge his many lies and his refusal to answer the questions put to him.  the format didn't allow ample time for intelligent responses from the two candidates.  how can complex questions be answered in a two-minute time slot?  how can countless lies be refuted in a one-minute response?  the "debate" didn't seem to be designed to inform the watchers nor to allow the single honest candidate to be at his best.

the talk by some pundits and politicos of replacing president biden as the nominee of the democratic party is deeply disturbing.  he has already been chosen by voters in state primaries leading up to the democratic convention.  he has a proven record of accomplishment during his first term.  he brings the wisdom of a lifetime of public service to the office.  he has earned the nomination, and i believe that in the end this poor debate performance will be a blip in the campaign for his re-election and that the american people will see him and his opponent for what they are:  one, an honest, wise, and sincere public servant; the other, a liar, criminal, and racist whose only interest in enriching himself and feeding his ego.

may we choose wisely when we vote.  may we not be taken in by the bravado of a television personality and failed businessman.  may we choose lovingkindness over a veneer of bluster and lies.  shalom.

Let Me Sow Love

our daughter has been here visiting for a week.  we see her a couple of times a year:  once in the summer while she is on her summer break from teaching and again at christmas when she and her husband come to spend a few days with us.  occasionally we will visit them in their home, but we hate to cause extra work for them because they need their weekends to rest from their demanding jobs and take care of chores around their homes.

i am always impressed with her patience and kindness when she comes to see us.  she helps around the house and does all she can to relieve us from our work while she's here.  when things don't go her way, she takes life in stride, letting go of the inevitable stresses of life.  when our nephew, her first cousin, came for a visit during her stay, she was patient with him, even though he's hard to be with for any length of time.  his conversation is mostly about his health issues, and he shares all the details of his frequent doctor visits and the pains and limitations he faces that are caused by poor choices he made earlier in life.  as he talked, she sympathized with him.  she never appeared to be weary of his unending talk about himself.  this is the sort of person she is, and we love her for it.

as i saw her off at the airport this morning, i thought of how lucky we are to have such a wonderful daughter.  may we do all we can to instill a sense of kindness and concern in others.  may we recognize the good in those around us.  may we believe that the basic human impulse is kindness, recognizing that hatred and prejudice are learned rather than innate characteristics.  shalom.

And the Tears Will Clear

as i write this morning, our gray tabby cat, bossy, has disappeared.  we inadvertently left our garage doors open overnight, and when i went out to feed our two cats, bossy was not there to greet me as she usually does.  bossy is blind and has cancer.  i fear that she wandered outside the garage and became disoriented.  if that is the case, she wouldn't be able to find her way back.  i've walked around the house calling her and driven around the neighborhood looking for her to no avail.

later this morning i'll go to all the houses nearby to alert our neighbors of bossy's disappearance.  perhaps she will turn up.  she is such a sweet cat and never tires of being petted.  she loves her morning and evening meals.  she's been with us for at least twelve years, having appeared in the yard of our former home one day, a frightened and abandoned kitten.  she made her home under our guest house in the backyard and refused to come out unless coaxed by food.  little by little, she became accustomed to us and her new home, eventually joining our other cats for her meals outside our back door.  she never strayed from our yard and spent most of her time lounging on our deck.  since her blindness, she has stayed in our garage unless we carry her out to our back deck when we sit in the evenings.

it's now later in the day, and bossy has been found!  while i was over talking to one of our neighbors about her, our daughter, who's visiting us for a week, walked across the street calling her.  there is a pasture filled with tall grass there.  it is surrounded by a barbed-wire fence, and bossy was lying the grass just on the other side of the fence.  when she heard our daughter, she began to cry.  fortunately, our daughter heard her and located her.  she picked bossy up and brought her back to our home amidst much rejoicing.  she was none the worse for her adventure and happily took her place on the cool concrete floor of the garage to rest.

being lost is an experience that most of us have known from time to time.  we are so relieved when we find our way back or someone rescues us.  may we be grateful for those who care enough to seek us when we are lost.  may we understand the causes of losing our way.  may we take responsibility for others, helping them find a way back.  may we recognize the value of home and those who care for us.  shalom.

For the Clear Morning Light

"i am grateful" is easy to say, but it's not so easy to live a life filled with gratitude.  each day i ask that i become more grateful for all that life has given me.  yet, i don't embrace the sense of gratefulness that my many blessings should kindle in me.  today i want to enumerate some of those gifts and to express my gratitude for them.

i am healthy.  i have the pains that come with my body's years of use, but i am still mobile.  i may be a little slower, may have to rest more often, and may pay the price when i overdo it.  still, i can do pretty much anything i want to do.  for this i'm grateful.

i have a wonderful partner, terrific children, a beautiful granddaughter, and many friends.  my life is filled with people who love me and are loved in return.  for this i'm grateful.

i want for nothing.  i have a lovely, spacious home.  everywhere i look in my home, there are beautiful things.  i don't have to worry about my financial well-being.  i have all the resources i need and then some.  for this i'm grateful.

i don't have worries about my safety.  there is little crime where i live.  while i don't always agree with the policies of my town's government, our city services function well.  those in elected office are conscientious in making those who live here secure.  for this i'm grateful

i live in a country where i have many freedoms:  freedom of and from religion, freedom to express my opinions without fear, freedom to vote as i think best, and freedom to read what i want.  for this i'm grateful.

i've lived a long, happy life.  my vocation was rewarding.  i have few regrets and more than my share of joy.  i continue to engage in my love for music and to share that love with others.  for this i'm grateful.

all in all, life is good.  may each of us look back on a life well-lived and rejoice that we have much to celebrate.  may we give thanks for the many blessings life has afforded us.  may we take time each day to practice gratitude.  shalom.

You Left A Row Half Done

the past week has been incredibly busy for my wife and i.  we yearn for time to be at home without one obligation after another.  much of this is because we aren't good at saying no.  after almost eighty years on this planet, we should have learned our limitations!  the next few days don't look any better.  as we look ahead, we say to ourselves, "if only we can get through the next four days, we can stop and catch our breath."

most of us are guilty of living lives of "if only" much of the time.  life happens as we live it.  we need to learn that this journey is what life is.  we don't have to get past our responsibilities to begin living.  those responsibilities are our lives.  they are experiences that give life meaning, not something to get past so we can start living.  may we relax into the busyness of life.  may we recognize the value of what we do.  may we carve out time for stopping to smell the roses and realize that those times are as important as the times of work and helping others.  may we make helping and caring for ourselves as important a priority as caring for others.  shalom.

Love Makes Life Worthwhile

i just completed a series of physical therapy sessions.  these exercises are intended to help strengthen my neck and upper back so that i can correct years of poor posture that have led to a loss of flexibility in my neck and an inability to stand erect.  some of my problems are the result of inherited spinal problems but most result from laziness.

my physical therapist is a kind man who is sincerely concerned for my well-being.  he is adept at being both understanding and demanding.  i can tell that i have improved with his guidance and hope that i will be consistent in continuing the exercises he taught me.  i've watched as he's worked with other clients and can see why there is improvement in those with whom he works.  i am amazed that he is able to do this work all day every day and maintain his attitude of concern and helpfulness with so many people.

as i reflect on my therapist's approach to those he treats, i am inspired to be more like him.  i want to see each person as someone who is deserving of love and concern, just as i am.  may we treasure our uniqueness while seeing the common traits we all share, realizing that we are more alike than we are different.  may we see that each person is worthy of lovingkindness and respect.  may we emulate those who show us the best ways to live our lives.  shalom.

Let the Earth Be Glad

my wife and i have been on a long trip to visit some of the national parks in utah.  we drove over 4,000 miles across several states going there and returning.  we saw some amazing natural wonders and marveled at the world's beauty.  though we had read and been told how beautiful bryce canyon and zion national parks were, words can't describe their majesty.  we would liked to have visited the two other national parks in utah that we haven't seen, but time and energy prevented us from going to capitol reef and canyonlands.  maybe another trip will take us to those two parks someday.

one of the things that always strikes me when i visit utah is the pervasive influence of the lds church.  in talking with residents of the state, we were often asked if we were member of "the church."  utahans are invariably congenial and outgoing, but i'm always left with the sense that their interactions with others is motivated by a missionary zeal to convert non-lds visitors to their vision of the truth.  

when we spent a day at the temple square in salt lake city early in our trip, we were invited to take a tour of the lds conference center there.  since we had some time to kill between two concerts we wanted to attend in the temple area, we accepted the invitation for a tour.  we expected to learn something of the history of the building and some interesting facts about it.  instead two young women, one from mexico and one from taiwan, spent a couple of hours showing us some rather bad paintings of the purported history of the western hemisphere that are described in the book of mormon and some other lds-influenced artwork.  we heard glowing reports of the conferences held in the huge meeting hall and the history of their and their families' conversions to the mormon religion.  while they were invariably amiable and eager, we didn't feel that they cared about us as people but rather that they viewed us as "fresh meat" for conversion.

perhaps i'm being unfair at drawing conclusions about others based on limited interaction with them.  maybe the lds adherents we encountered were what they appeared to be:  outgoing individuals who were truly interested in us as human beings.  because of the missionary emphasis of the lds church, i may be overly suspicious of all members of that faith.  at any rate, we enjoyed our time in utah.  the beautiful concert by the tabernacle choir in temple square was a wonderful experience.  provo, orem, and salt lake city were stunning with the mountains surrounding them and spring blossoms everywhere.  the majesty of bryce canyon and zion national parks is indescribable.

may each of us have the opportunity to experience such natural wonders.  may we not be quick to judge others based on preconceived notions.  may our love overcome our prejudices.  shalom.

Sweeter It Grows

yesterday my wife and i went to see our new granddaughter.  we were pleased when her mother and father asked if we could care for her for a few hours while they ran some errands and went to lunch together.  we think she is the most beautiful baby in the world, and her parents are so proud of her.  it was a delight to watch them dote on her, concerned for her every cry and thrilled when she wiggled and cooed.  

my wife wanted to hold her every moment as we took care of her in their absence.    i enjoyed watching the two of them together, as my wife cradled the little one against her shoulder.  it was obvious that my wife loved her new granddaughter deeply and wanted to be with her every moment we were there.  when the baby fretted, my wife walked her or rocked her, comforting her as best she knew how.  for a few moments, we placed her in her bassinet and watched as she stretched her arms and legs, making soft sounds and looking at us.  the baby seemed to enjoy being left to exercise and experiment with her ability to move, but soon she began to fret.  as my wife picked her up and swayed from side to side her little cries subsided, and the baby was content.

all too soon her parents returned and began to talk with us about how best to care for the baby when her mother returns to work in three weeks.  they had been talking with her other grandmother, and she plans to take care of the little one at her home nearby two days a week.  the mother and father both work from home two days a week, so they think between the two of them they can care for her those two days.  that leaves one day when they need someone to take care of her.  we were thrilled when they asked if we might be able to come over that one day to help them out.

because of our age, we doubt that we will live much beyond her eighteenth birthday, if that long.  this makes it important to us to be with her as much as possible.  it means so much to us to have the chance to watch her grow and develop, and being with her one day every week will be wonderful.  we had given up hope that we would ever have a grandchild, and we don't want to miss being with her.

as i think of the warmth in our hearts for our new granddaughter, i want to have such love for all sentient beings.  may she inspire all in our family to love more deeply.  may each of us think of our love for a family member and learn to spread that kind of love to others.  may we love without condition and help others when we can.  may our hearts be open and our minds attentive to the needs around us.  shalom.

Grow Old with Me

my aches and pains tell me that i am aging.  i see the signs in my body, as my shoulders slump forward and the curvature in my spine becomes more pronounced.  i have less energy and endurance and must rest more frequently and the chores that are necessary to care for our home and yard take longer.  i often lament those changes, but i also feel a deep sense of gratitude.

not everyone has the opportunity to grow old.  many are cut down long before that stage of their lives is reached.  i am grateful that i am still very mobile.  there is little i'm unable to do, even though it may take me longer.  i am undergoing physical therapy to counter the problems with my aging body, and, though the exercises i perform are exhausting, i can tell that they are helping.  my neck is more flexible, and the corrections i'm making to some bad posture habits are helping.  so, i am grateful that there are steps i can take to help my body function better.

i know that as long as i continue to age my body will continue to deteriorate.  this is a part of life, and i am grateful that i have reached this stage.  i hope that i can retain gratitude for this aging body until it no longer has life left in it.  may each of us be thankful for the gifts our bodies give us.  may we acknowledge the great miracle of biology that is the human body, this machine that can repair itself in so many ways despite our growing older.  may we relish each breath, each step, and each bite we take.  shalom. 

Deep Peace of the Quiet Earth

i have a relative whom i love dearly, but often this dear one says unkind things in the most casual way.  when she directs these remarks at others, it seems she has little regard for how her words wound.  if she is called out, she will say something like, "you know i didn't mean it" or "you should know i was only kidding."  i've felt the sting of her words, and my first impulse is to lash out at her.  

i'm trying to understand why she does this.  most of the time she is a kind, considerate person.  i know that she was abused physically and emotionally as a child and that she had a very difficult time growing up.   perhaps she feels insecure about the sincerity of others' love for her, remembering how her father treated her and how ineffective her mother was in protecting her.  whatever the cause, i've come to realize that her words are more about her internal anger rather than about the person at whom her unkind words are directed.  because she hurts, she tries to inflict the same pain on others.

realizing that takes away some of the sting of her words.  replying in kind confirms her belief that others harbor ill feelings toward her and deepens her conviction that everyone is against her.  the deep pain arising from her formative years can be pushed aside most of the time, but when it comes to the surface, she wants to hurt others as she has been hurt.  may those who carry deep wounds find healing.  may we look beyond the obvious and seek the causes of suffering.  may we be forgiving and let go of the hurtful arrows directed at us.  may lovingkindness and compassion replace anger and the desire for revenge.  shalom.

Our Severing Ways

last week i wrote about the birth of our granddaughter.  this week i want to write about the efforts of many to curtail the rights of women, especially their right to control their own bodies.  after the supreme court struck down the protection of reproductive rights based on the belief in a constitutional right to privacy, many state legislatures outlawed abortion.  we now have a patchwork of contradictory laws throughout our country.  in some states, abortion is forbidden after a certain point in pregnancy.  in others, abortion is allowed only in the case of rape, incest, or when the mother's life is in danger.  still others have made abortion illegal under any circumstances.  other states have maintained the right of women to control their bodies and left women's healthcare as a private matter between a woman and her doctor.

some of these laws make doctors criminally liable if they perform an abortion that the state determines violates the law.  many of these laws are unclear about when an abortion is or is not legal.  in many instances, the result is that doctors simply will not perform abortions under any conditions for fear of being jailed by the state.  women are dying and are being injured for life because of these laws.  poor women are forced to bear children that they cannot care for.  rape victims are forced to bear the children of their rapists, and many of these mothers are children themselves.  thousands of unwanted children will be born, and the states with the most draconian laws are the least supportive of mothers and children after babies are born.

the "fetal personhood" movement is pushing for laws that make a developing fetus equal in rights to a person who has been born.   rather than speaking of a fetus, the proponents of this perspective refer to the fetus as "unborn" or "preborn."  from this point of view, an "unborn person" is murdered if it is aborted.  the doctor who performed the abortion and the mother carrying the fetus are partners in murder and subject to criminal prosecution.  women have been prosecuted when a miscarriage has occured.  in several states, this legal theory is now enshrined in the legal code.

women must have control over their bodies.  it is not the business of the state to interfere in the health care of a woman.  women and their medical providers should be left alone to do what is in the best interest of the mother without intervention by the state.  may we stop treating women as little more than carriers of developing fetuses.  may we return to a belief in reproductive rights for women.  may we provide the support that mothers and their children need.  may we not impose our own religious beliefs on others.  may we remember that freedom of religion means freedom from religion in the public sector.  shalom.

Our Future Gets Brighter

my wife and i went to see our new granddaughter for the first time this past week.  it was immediately apparent that her parents were filled with joy and pride.  they both glowed with the experience of being first-time parents.  we caught their enthusiasm as soon as we saw the little bundle of life they had created.  to us, she was the most perfect child that ever has been.  she was alert, with eyes that opened wide as she looked lovingly at her mother.  she cried very little as she was passed to her grandmother, and she quickly became calm as she peered into her grandmother's face.

as my wife sat down with her in a swivel chair, the tiny baby made soft cooing sounds.  when the chair began to rock slowly from side to side, she fell asleep in her grandmother's arms and slept there for well over an hour.  when lunchtime came, she was transferred to a small pillow that lay on the couch, where she continued to sleep as the four of us ate and talked.  we marveled that she slept so soundly despite the noises we were making.

our son and his wife recounted their experiences with her birth and the few days they had spent caring for her.  they remarked how they had prepared carefully for the at-home birth with a midwife and her assistant present, but they weren't prepared for the many responsibilities of caring for a newborn.  nonetheless, they were delighted to have her and beamed with the love they felt for her.  we were reminded of our first days with our two children.  i recounted my gratitude that our son had been born during the summer, when i was free of my teaching responsibilities and could be home with my wife and son as a full-time parent.  we are glad that both our son and his wife can take time off from work for parental leave, though my son's leave is unpaid and some of the time he will work from home, while his wife's leave is at reduced pay.  even that concession was unavailable when my wife and i were in the workforce, so when our daughter was born, my wife's mother came to help us so i could go back to work the day after she was born.

we are happy beyond words that this new life has come into our family.  each day, we pray that she will be happy, healthy, and able to life a rich, fulfilling life.  may each of us marvel at the miracle of creation.  may we see each child as a special gift whose life must be nurtured.  may every parent have the resources they need to care for their children.  may we as a nation provide the opportunities that each child should have to be happy, caring members of society.  shalom. 

All Beautiful the March of Days

a few days ago, my wife and i received some wonderful news:  our first grandchild had been born!  she is a perfect baby so far as anyone can tell, and she and her mother are doing well.  in the pictures our son sent us, he is happy and proud.  we cannot wait to see her in person and to celebrate with our son and our granddaughter's mother.  we'll go over to their home in a few days to have lunch and to cuddle this precious gift.

we had given up on the idea of having a grandchild when we learned that we would finally become grandparents.  as i think on this new life that has come into the world, i marvel at the miracle of birth.  this is especially true during this time of year, as trees bud out, grass greens, and all the manifestations of spring appear.  soon it will be easter, the christian version of the ancient tale of birth and rebirth.  in my questioning mind, i doubt the story of the founder of our faith rising from the dead.  instead, i think of those things which arise from the earth at this season, of grass growing, flowers poking out of the ground and blooming, of dormant trees coming to life again.  the story of the resurrection is the story of life renewing itself, as it does every spring.

may we rejoice in the miracles of nature and in the birth of new life.  may we be filled with gratitude that the sun warms all of creation and brings about the renewal of spring.  may we see and rejoice in the wonders of each passing season.  may we sense the warmth of love shared with one another and the universe.  shalom. 

Love Is the Theme

a friend sent me a text a few days ago containing an announcement that a former student of mine had been named the superintendent of schools for the district in which i taught for over twenty-five years.  this man, now in his forties, was a wonderful student who loved to sing.  he was a born leader and inspired others to want to be in his company.  he was a fine athlete as well, but he dropped out of sports when they interfered with his participation in the school choir.  he was also a brilliant mathematics student, but he refused to take some of the school's advanced math courses because they were scheduled at the same time as choir, such was his devotion to choir.

he went to college on a choir scholarship and majored in math.  he went on to be a math teacher, then a school principal, then a district-wide administrator, before becoming an assistant superintendent in a large urban school district in a neighboring state.  during this time he earned his masters and doctoral degrees.  now he will come back to his hometown as the district's first black superintendent of schools.  when i sent him a congratulatory note, his reply told me how much his association with me, my family, and the choir had meant to him.  he said that without those influences, he would never have been motivated to achieve what he had.  he grew up in a single-family home, and his mother had a meager income.  he was determined to create a better life for himself and his loved ones, and he did.

i wish i could take credit for his accomplishments, but it was his strength of character and determination that made him what he is.  i am better for having known him and being a part of his life.  may we remember that we touch lives without knowing it.  may we see the value in every human being and do all we can to make their lives better.  may our love and compassion encompass everyone with whom we come in contact, and may we be a source of encouragement.  shalom.

Just the Perfect Blendship

i've never been one to need close friends.  some would say i'm a loner, but my dearest friend is myself.  the time i have to spend with myself is something i treasure.  loneliness and boredom are very foreign to me.  as i've aged, the enjoyment of being with others has grown, though.  we moved to the northern part of our state to be near some close relatives that we've always enjoyed visiting.  after we moved, we spent a great deal of time with them, going on several long trips and getting together often for meals and to play games.  after the first couple of years, though, we didn't get together as often.  their health declined, and they were frequently not well enough to spend time with us, and lengthy trips were out of the question.

to my surprise, i found myself missing our get-togethers and resented their inability to travel and join us for evenings of meals and game-playing.  we've become friends with another couple who are several years older than we are but who are still quite active.  we have much in common, including our political leanings and backgrounds.  i love spending time with them and hope that i can be as vital as they are when i'm their age.  when circumstances prevent our weekly visits, i find myself missing them and looking forward to a time when we can be with one another.

it's so important to have companionship, especially as we age.  the experts tell us that close friendships prolong our lives, and i believe them.  may we all find others with whom we can enjoy ourselves.  may each of us love ourselves and let our love carry over to others.  as we age, may we enlarge our circle of love to embrace as many people as we can.  shalom.

With Each New Day

each day when i awaken, i have a plan for the day.  in a way, that's good.  it enables me to get things done in an orderly fashion and to have a sense of accomplishment at the end of most days .  the downside of this process is that when things don't go according to plan, i'm frustrated and angry.  i feel as if i've failed.  i am trying to  let go of my need to have everything go as i would wish.  while i may still have goals for the day, i want to learn to let the day take its course without me forcing it to follow a preconceived sequence.

for instance, one day i wanted to get some practicing in for next sunday's service and i needed to pick up some things from the grocery store.  later in the day we had friends coming over to play cards and have dinner.  my usual plan for the day would be quite detailed, with breakfast at a precise time, followed by getting dressed for the day, arriving at the church for practice at a pre-determined time, followed by a trip to the grocery store, with my arrival back home by a set time to prepare for our friends' visit.  my pattern for the day would be rigid, and failure to keep to my timetable would result in trying to hurry through the process to stay on schedule.  

instead, i let go of my timetable.  i had a more leisurely morning, yet everything i hoped to accomplish got done.  without the dictatorship of the clock, i enjoyed my day more and went to bed more relaxed and woke up refreshed and ready for another day.  i hope to make each day follow the same pattern.  may we each let go of the unreasonable demands we make on ourselves.  may we allow each day to be what it wants to be.  may we be grateful for the little joys each day has to offer us.  shalom.

You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear

we are in the midst of another presidential race in this country.  we watch as donald trump blusters through his rallies and court appearances, spewing venom and encouraging his followers to hate as he hates.  it is easy to sit on my moral high horse and look down with contempt on him and his supporters.  that is not what a follower of jesus and of the buddha should be doing.  each day i say, "may i develop the perfect understanding, may i be filled with lovingkindness and compassion," then i refuse to have those qualities for some people.

this morning, i'm thinking about how to develop understanding, lovingkindness, and compassion for donald trump and those who support him.  i want to see them as human beings with whom i have more in common than i admit.  i want to be accepting of them without embracing their ideology, to love them even when they seem to be filled with anger and hatred.  i have no right to pat myself on the back for my virtues when my heart is filled with contempt for them.

i need to consider what may have happened in the lives of those who are so filled with anger toward others, to seek to understand how they have come to embrace this bitterness and sense of victimhood.  as the song from the musical, "the king and i," says, "before you are six or seven or eight, you've got to be taught to hate all the people your relatives hate."  the prejudices and bigotry that has come to expression in the maga crowd are inherited from past generations.  only the will to look at the world differently can change these vile patterns.

may we turn from those inherited ways of thinking and seeing others.  may we have compassion and love rather than hatred and condemnation.  may we see the humanity in all those around us, even those who do not see our humanity.  shalom.

In the Sweet By and By

a friend of ours passed away a few days ago.  she had been ill for about a year and was to have a couple of surgeries that might have enabled her to live longer.  before the operations could take place, she had a hemorrhage that brought her life to an end.  my wife and i attended her funeral service in a local funeral home.  she was well-loved in the community, as indicated by the large number who were present.

the minister who officiated at the funeral spoke of the example she had set for others, of her great love for her family, and of her years of teaching young children in church.  the main thrust of his remarks was the "rightness" of her beliefs that would enable her to spend an eternity in heaven where she would be reunited with her husband and other loved ones.  he urged any of those present who had not made a "decision for jesus" to make such a commitment, lest they miss out on heaven.

i left the funeral home troubled by what he had said.  i wanted to hear him tell us how her dedication to the teachings of jesus had made her the beloved person that she was.  i can't share his certainty in what comes after this life ends.  no one can know what happens after death except to know that the person who has died ceases to exist as we know them.  we don't follow jesus out of a selfish desire to live in an eternal heaven after we die.  we follow him because his teachings compel us to live a meaningful life of service to others.

may we live life in the now, not in a pie-in-sky hope of heaven.  may we love, not because doing so will give us a key to paradise, but because it is the best way to live.  may we live the best life we can each moment without worrying about whether we've adopted the right beliefs to get us into heaven. shalom.

Now I Need a Place

yesterday, my wife and i embarked on an outing that we had been looking forward to all week.  as we left, i was excited about the prospect of a day out with my wife.  as we drove toward our destination, i began to feel depressed and lethargic.  this feeling persisted all day long, and i couldn't account for it.  my wife, who was driving, decided along the way to forego our first stop because of the timing.  that was the stop i had been looking forward to most.  at first i was angry and started to tell her how disappointed i was but decided to keep my feelings to myself.

as the day went on, we were both somewhat let down by our trip.  items we had planned to purchase weren't available.  our lunch took an interminable time to arrive.  the day was exhausting, and as we drove home we both expressed our sense of frustration that the trip had not been all we had hoped it would be.  the days leading up to the trip were busy, and perhaps we were just exhausted from all that had gone before.  perhaps we had such high expectations for our outing that we were saddened by the day's inability to live up to them.  

this is a pattern that happens with some frequency in each of our lives.  we build up expectations and are saddened when reality is something different.  when this happens, we shouldn't feel guilty about our disappointment, but instead recognize that this is part of being human.  everything can't always go as we would wish.  there's nothing wrong with feeling angry or sad when things go awry.  what we have to do is accept our humanity and learn from these misadventures, turning disappointment into gratitude.

may we accept our humanness.  may we be grateful when things don't go as we would wish.  may we recognize and embrace our emotions, even those that are negative.  may each experience be an opportunity to grow and learn.  shalom.

To Be Sheltered and Safe

why do we wound ourselves over and over with the same arrows?  why can't we let go of our anger and our self-inflicted punishments?  we tell ourselves that we are learning from our mistakes but, in reality, we're giving our minds the power to keep us in a constant state of agitation.  i remember my anger with our former president and my persistent attention to anti-trump commentators on television.  there was nothing i could do to stop trump from holding his hatred-filled rallies or sending out tweets filled with invective and lies.  yet i was perpetually angry that such a person exists and that so many people have become his devotees.  what good did i accomplish with my anger?  trump continues on his destructive path and his loyal followers continue to proclaim what they see as his greatness.

i think, too, of a close friend who had become upset with the church he attends and with its pastor.  every time we got together, he wanted to talk about the latest offense the pastor had committed and to restate all the ways the church caused him to be distressed.  his wife kept telling him to look for positive aspects to his relationship with their church.  my wife and i asked him why he continued to put himself through such torment when there were other churches around that wouldn't affect him in this way.  no solution offered to him would assuage his anger until he finally realized that he couldn't change the way things were at his church.  he either had to accept them and follow his wife's advice or stay angry, since he was unwilling to quit attending this church because of his wife's loyalty to it, even though she agreed with most of his criticisms.  fortunately for him, he was able to let go of his anger and frustration and move on from this fixation with something he couldn't change.

this is a pattern that we often follow.  rather than realizing that our anger changes nothing, we persist in it.  may we stop our minds from filling us with anger.  may we rationally consider our options and choose one that does not cause us to suffer.  may we be at peace with ourselves and with others.  shalom.

 

Isn't She Lovely

a few months ago, we went to dinner with my son and his partner.  We could see excitement in their faces when they walked into the restaurant.  after they were seated at our table and we had exchanged the usual pleasantries, they said they had something to tell us.  we were mystified by their obvious elation, and we were completely bowled over when they said they were expecting a baby.  our son is in his mid-forties and his partner is in her late thirties, and we had given up on the idea of ever having a grandchild.   we were thrilled, of course, and the two of them were clearly overjoyed with the prospect of being parents.

the pregnancy has gone smoothly.  they have gone to birthing classes together and moved into another house that was better suited to housing their small family.  they've spent the last few weeks redoing the house and setting up a beautiful nursery.  they've collected all the necessary equipment, furnishings, and clothing for the baby.  today, we're going over to the town where they live for a baby shower being given by two of their friends and will get to meet the happy mother's parents and see their new home in person.  

there is something about the realization that you are a part of the miracle of creation that can't be duplicated by any other experience.  i can remember the overwhelming joy that my wife and i experienced when we learned that we were becoming parents.  may each of us know the thrill of unconditional love for another being.  may we marvel at the continuum of bringing new life into the world.  may we be filled with gratitude as we recognize our part in the miracle of birth.  shalom.

Wish You Were Here

i was awakened this morning with a dream fresh in my mind.  in it, i was saying goodbye to some former teachers and expressing my appreciation to them.  these were not teachers who had been a part of my life.  they were characters who were unknown to me, and i couldn't understand where these folks had come from or why they had emerged in my dream.  in my state of being barely awake, i also wondered what the dream's meaning was.  

as i thought about it, all i could figure out was that my mind was reminding me that i had never expressed my gratitude to many who had played important roles in my life as i grew up.  i remembered my piano teacher with whom i studied for eleven years.  once i graduated from high school, i never returned to see her and express my appreciation for all she had taught me.  i thought of many of my friends with whom i lost contact over the years and for whom i still have a deep affection.  i felt guilty for failing to convey my gratitude to so many people who are valued by me.

then, i reminded myself that this is the way of life.  there are so many whose lives i have touched who no longer stay in contact with me and who have never thanked me for the help i gave them.  it's not because they are ungrateful, but it is impossible to maintain all our relationships from the past and carry on with our lives.  we repay the beneficial influence of others by paying forward the gifts they have given us.  as much as we would like to continue relationships with all those who played important roles in our lives, we have our responsibilities and relationships to maintain in the present.  we can continue to feel gratitude for the past, but we can't let it weigh us down when the present is all we are able to deal with.

may we take time to remember those who have been good influences in our lives and express our gratitude to them as time allows.  may we repay past helpers by following their example in the present.  may we not weigh ourselves down with guilt for that which cannot be helped.  may we correct past failings when it is possible to do so.  shalom.

The World's Fierce Winds

as i was meditating a few days ago, my mind dredged up an incident from over thirty years ago when i made a foolish, embarrassing mistake.  i began to berate myself for this long-ago lapse of judgment, and then i caught myself.  another voice inside me told me that what was in the past needed to stay there, that i mustn't continue to punish myself for something that i could not change.  i told myself to focus on the present and to let the past go.  i realized that my mind was not my friend at that moment.

this sort of thing happens so often.  as i was driving through town listening to the radio shortly after this realization, a commentator said much the same thing.  he said, "we remember the bad things that happen to us and often forget the good, even though the good far outweighs the bad," or words to that effect.  how true this is!  our minds constantly seek to control us rather than the other way around.  this is why we must train our minds to serve us rather than to punish us.  

meditation can sometimes be a curse, because the mind has the opportunity to bring up bad things from the past, interrupting our calm stillness, as it seeks to assert control over us.  we must remind ourselves that our minds are not who we are in the depth of our being.  the focus on our breath takes us away from the tyrant that is our mind, drawing us to our true selves, thus allowing our true nature to take control of the mind.

may we rein in our minds when they do us harm or bring out the worst in us.  may we learn from our mistakes with gratitude for the lessons they teach us without their arrows repeatedly wounding us.  may we have confidence in the breath, rather than in the mind.  may we experience true peace.  shalom.

Let It Be

this week one of the things i've worked on has been reframing how i react to the petty annoyances that are bound to occur in my daily life.  my intention has been, and continues to be, to see these little bumps as opportunities to learn and to be grateful for them.  when i knocked my coffee cup over and spilled coffee on the floor, i wasn't happy about my clumsiness, but i was able to act quickly to minimize the damage and smile at myself for being human.  when i wasn't able to get around to one of my last chores of putting away christmas lights, i didn't become frustrated and angry, but i recognized that i had already accomplished much that day and accepted the truth that the world wasn't changed for the worse by delaying my little job another day or two.

so often, we miss out on the joy of life because we get caught up in having things turn out just the way we want them to.  little accidents occur and plans go awry.  we wouldn't be living if that weren't so.  the secret is to recognize that minor annoyances are part of life and accept them, smiling at ourselves for being human.

may we accept our humanity.  may we smile instead of becoming angry and irritated.  may we be thankful for the opportunity to learn and to let go of the need to control every moment.  may we relish the flow of life, even the bumps in the road.  shalom. 

That Kind of Fool

i missed blogging last week because we had a house full of company for christmas.  it was hard to find a moment to myself to write.  i've decided to do more of a journaling blog.  so here is my first of these attempts.

this morning i listened to a talk by one of my teachers on the insight app.  in it, he talked about intentionality, of how we make a choice either to live with the intention of controlling our minds or to choose to let life happen and react to it.  as he talked about happiness, i realized that i'm happier than i've ever been in my life.  life is easier than it used to be.  i find joy in the little moments that crop up in my life.  i am more helpful to others, especially to my wife.  it's fun to do the necessary chores around the house, not because they have to be done, but because they make our lives more pleasant.

i find, too, that my wife is happier.  she doesn't fret as much about not having time to do everything that needs to be done.  she can do what she can one day, leaving the rest for another day, without worrying that she couldn't accomplish all she intended.  she goes to bed with a sense of accomplishment and looks forward to what may be accomplished when she awakens.  our lives together are more a partnership than they were in the past, and we rejoice in them.  may our happiness in our marriage continue.  

may others see the joy we find in life.  may it be our intention to control our minds rather than allowing our minds to control us.  shalom.